Risking It All

by Stephanie Harte

  ‘I’ve got a question for you, Nathan. How do you intend to keep yourself financially afloat?’ Alfie asked, out of the blue, when he came to see us today.

  His question blindsided me. I hadn’t got any new projects in the pipeline but decided to keep that to myself. ‘I’m sure something will turn up soon.’ I gave Alfie a lacklustre smile, but I could tell he was sceptical about what I’d just said.

  ‘I can see you’re a confident man, and that’s great, but confidence won’t pay your bills.’ Alfie stretched out his legs and crossed them at the ankles. ‘You call yourself an entrepreneur, but you’re not very good at making money, are you?’

  ‘I have my moments.’

  I clenched my jaw and got to my feet. Alfie’s comment annoyed me. What did the success rate of my business ventures have to do with him? Admittedly some of the deals I’d made in the past had turned into disasters, but others had been profitable. I’d made mistakes. I was happy to hold my hands up to that. At least I wasn’t afraid to fail. Fear of failure is the main reason people don’t take chances. I was optimistic that things would pick up.

  ‘You’re skint; you haven’t got a pot to piss in, and I want my money back. So where are you going to get it from?’

  Alfie’s face adopted a smug smile, and I felt myself squirm in my seat. I cast my eyes towards the floor so I wouldn’t have to look at him gloating.

  ‘Terry has a price for the ring, which brings me to the purpose of my visit.’ Alfie took a sip of his drink.

  Now he had my undivided attention. ‘How much did he offer you?’ I asked, staring him straight in the eye.

  ‘Four thousand, and your share is ten per cent.’

  ‘You’re having a fucking laugh, aren’t you?’ I could feel the rage building inside me. ‘You put Gemma through hell for four hundred pounds!’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The valuation was far worse than I’d expected. I couldn’t bring myself to look at my wife. I knew she’d be devastated.

  Alfie lit a cigarette and wisps of smoke swirled into the room from the smouldering tip. Then his face broke into a slow smile. ‘Life sucks, doesn’t it, Nathan? But you’re the one who put Gemma in this position, not me.’

  I glared at Alfie. This didn’t make any sense. It was an expensive ring, not something that came out of a cracker.

  ‘The assistant in the shop told me it cost twenty thousand pounds,’ Gemma said. I could see she was still reeling from what Alfie had just told us.

  ‘I’m sure it did. A ring of that quality would cost a fortune if you were to buy it, but you stole it, so now it’s only worth a fraction of its previous value,’ Alfie said, explaining the finer details of jewellery theft to us. ‘It’s unfortunate, but that’s the way it is.’

  ‘So what was the point of making Gemma steal it?’ I asked.

  ‘Terry will pay cash for the ring, and then you’ll be four hundred pounds better off than you were this morning, so everyone’s a winner.’

  The only winners were Alfie and Terry. They stood to make a fortune out of this deal.

  ‘I’ll take the money Gemma earned off your debt, so that leaves fourteen thousand six hundred to repay.’ Alfie stood up and smoothed down his slicked-back hair.

  I had to resist the urge to wipe the smile off his smug face. Every time we thought we’d repaid the money, Alfie changed the amount we owed. I could see Gemma out of the corner of my eye; she looked stressed out and weighed down by the whole situation.

  ‘Can’t you freeze the interest to give us a chance to clear the debt?’ Gemma asked with an undertone of desperation creeping into her voice.

  ‘That’s not the way my business operates. You didn’t borrow the money from a bank.’ Alfie smirked.

  Gemma’s beautiful face fell into a scowl. How kind of Alfie to draw our attention to the small print of the contract, I thought. ‘So where do we go from here?’ I asked without much enthusiasm. My optimism had been flattened by the large dose of reality Alfie had just given me.

  He stubbed out his cigarette on the floor, put down his glass and walked out of the flat without saying another word. He didn’t need to. By cutting short the conversation, he’d spoken volumes. I watched him close the door in silence, and had to accept our fate with resigned indifference.

  11

  Gemma

  Alfie had firmly established himself as an alpha male. Walking with a self-assured swagger, he’d greet you with a firm handshake while looking you directly in the eye. Everything about him exuded power and confidence. From the sharp suits he always dressed in, to the way he carried himself. Alfie could be charismatic, but he could also be terrifying. By his own admission, the speed at which his personality could change was what scared people the most. We were in way over our heads, and that terrified me.

  I thought back to another devastating time when Nathan lost everything we owned trying to save a failed business. It was my worst nightmare, and I wasn’t sure we’d make it out the other side. I’m ashamed to say I almost gave up on him. But despite the dark days, we didn’t split up, and in time things got better. Even though it was tough, I’m so glad I never gave up on our marriage. Nathan meant everything to me. I loved him with all my heart. He’d faced abandonment before, and I knew how badly that affected him. Growing up without a father to love and care for him scarred him deeply, so I could never put him through the pain again.

  Rosa was a fantastic mother, and there’s no denying Nathan was smothered with affection, but due to their circumstances, he learned from an early age to take care of number one. It didn’t excuse his reckless behaviour, but because I knew this, it helped me to understand why he acted the way he did. Facing a financial struggle on a daily basis left its mark on him.

  Our childhoods couldn’t have been more different. I grew up in Richmond and never wanted for anything. But no amount of material possessions could replace the amazing feeling of being loved and cherished. When I met Nathan, I experienced for the first time what it felt like to be worth something to someone. Even though our upbringings were poles apart, we were like kindred spirits in many ways.

  When we lost our home and all our possessions, Nathan’s aunt and uncle, Donatella and Bernardo, took pity on us. They didn’t want to see us homeless and destitute, so they offered us jobs in their Italian restaurant and allowed us to live in the flat above it. Having no children of their own, they treated Nathan more like a son than a nephew. We were lucky to have jobs and a place to live, rent-free, for as long as we needed it, but the opportunity didn’t come without more sacrifice on my part. I had to give up my dream position as a personal assistant, to the director of a fashion house in the West End of London, because I couldn’t afford to commute from our new home in Southend-on-Sea, Essex. I found the move traumatic. But there was no point dwelling on the past and everything we’d lost. We had to focus on the future and believe that, in time, things would get better.

  I should have insisted that Nathan took the job Donatella offered him, instead of turning his nose up at it. I didn’t like waiting tables either, but one of us had to try and keep some money coming in. I wish I’d put my foot down, but I was too soft with him. In fact, we were all guilty of that. Nathan had such a lovely way about him, he had the whole family wrapped around his little finger.

  I suddenly realised it was time to accept the inevitable. We we’re never going to be able to clear our debt if I didn’t agree to work for Alfie. Although Nathan had promised he’d think of something, and believe me, I wanted to have faith in him, he hadn’t managed to come up with a solution. Every time he started a new venture, he’d insist that this time things would be different and nothing bad would happen.

  Unfortunately, the story always seemed to end the same way. Nathan’s get-rich-quick schemes had a habit of failing miserably. Then he’d feel compelled to try and recover the money he’d lost by taking chances on risky deals. He’d developed an uncontrollable urge to be reckless, even though his destructive behaviour was taking it
s toll on us. On more than one occasion recently, I’d thought about leaving him. Walking away, before I got any more involved, felt like the obvious thing to do. But I’d invested so much time and energy in our relationship, I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it.

  12

  Gemma

  When I returned home from my shift and found Alfie and his men waiting for me, I stared at them with huge eyes. The emotional impact of strangers entering my personal space uninvited was something I would never get used to. It was stressing me out. I wondered if I’d ever feel safe in this flat again.

  ‘What the hell is going on?’ I said when I saw what they’d done to Nathan. They’d beaten him up again, and Knuckles was aiming a handgun at his knee. ‘Please, don’t hurt him,’ I said, covering my mouth. I wanted to scream, but what good would that have done?

  ‘I’m OK, Gemma,’ Nathan replied.

  ‘I’m glad you’re back,’ Alfie said. ‘I was just having a little discussion with your husband about loyalty and respect. It’s never a good idea to piss off people with connections.’

  It wasn’t so much the words Alfie had just spoken, but the tone in which he delivered them that sent a chill through my body. His message was loud and clear. If we knew what was good for us, we shouldn’t mess him about. Inside, my mind was in turmoil, but I had to keep calm.

  ‘My patience is starting to wear thin now. Do you think I’m stupid, Gemma?’

  ‘Of course not.’

  ‘Don’t take me for a fool then.’

  Alfie took a step towards me, and I felt my pulse quicken. In the blink of an eye, he could turn into a violent thug. It’s true to say, he got a kick out of hurting people and I hoped I wasn’t the next in line. Although I was crumbling inside, I straightened my posture and composed myself.

  ‘When I’ve been generous enough to lend a person money, I sometimes find it’s necessary to provide a little reminder if they don’t give it back. There’s more at stake here than just the debt, you know?’

  I looked straight into Alfie’s blue eyes, hoping to appeal to his better nature, if he had one. But I knew he hadn’t; the man was pure evil. ‘We fully intend to pay back every penny we owe.’

  ‘That’s good to know because this is the first rung on the intimidation ladder.’ Alfie flashed his straight, white smile in my direction.

  If that was the case, we were in serious trouble. Whether we liked it or not, we were going to have to cooperate. I didn’t want to find out what the next rung was like.

  ‘I don’t want to inflict suffering if I don’t need to. A gunshot wound to the knee is pretty much the maximum amount of pain a person can tolerate. So I usually reserve that as a last resort.’

  Emotions were running high. I couldn’t afford to say the wrong thing. As I thought about how to respond, I decided that maybe my best option was to keep quiet.

  ‘Now let’s get back to business. How are you two going to pay back my money?’ Alfie asked, pulling the sleeves of his suit jacket back over his wrists.

  ‘Do you still want me to join the firm?’ I cast my eyes downwards, dreading his answer.

  I saw Alfie smirk out of the corner of my eye. ‘Now that’s a silly question. So does this mean you’re accepting the position?’

  ‘I suppose so.’ I tried to keep the begrudging tone out of my voice, but it wasn’t easy.

  ‘Would you like to go shopping for me again?

  My stomach turned over at the thought. ‘Do I have a choice?’

  ‘Of course, you have a choice, Gemma.’ Alfie’s face broke into a huge smile. ‘I wouldn’t dream of making you do anything against your will. That’s not my style. I’m a gentleman.’

  I struggled to suppress the laugh that wanted to escape from my lips. In a matter of minutes, Alfie had transformed himself back from a ruthless underworld boss to a suave charmer. His behaviour was erratic and unpredictable. I had to admit, not knowing what he might do next was keeping me awake at night.

  ‘Just so we understand each other, stealing is not my style. I haven’t agreed to work for you because I want to, but because you’re holding a gun to my husband’s head.’

  ‘Nobody’s holding a gun to Nathan’s head. Knuckles is aiming at his kneecap,’ Alfie replied, arching an eyebrow. He wasn’t smiling any longer.

  I clenched my lips together to keep me from saying something I’d regret. All I could hear was my anxious breath as silence hung in the air between us. My heart pounded in my chest as the tension in the room intensified.

  Alfie and his men didn’t need to use weapons; just their presence was enough to make you feel the danger. Even though they hadn’t fired a single shot, I knew they’d think nothing of taking Nathan’s life. In Alfie’s line of work, he used this heavy-handed approach on a daily basis.

  Nathan and I were desperate to escape from Alfie’s clutches, but he wasn’t ready to let us go yet. Instead, he’d now enlisted me as a gang member, and if we wanted to get out of this nightmare alive, we’d have to do what he said.

  I would never understand why Nathan decided to borrow money from a criminal. He’d made a stupid choice, and now we were drowning in debt, so we’d have to suffer the consequences. It would have been easy to hold it against him, but there was no point, so I shoved the bitter thought aside. We were in this together, for better, for worse. We’d signed up to that when we got married and tempting as it was to turn my back on all of this and walk away, I wouldn’t do that to Nathan. We’d lost everything before. I had never forgotten how awful that felt. My stomach still twisted into knots at the memory.

  But we came out the other side and were doing well until Alfie Watson came into our lives. Although it was difficult to imagine at the moment, I had to believe that one day we’d be free of him.

  13

  Gemma

  Nathan stood in the living room, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, taking the cork out of a bottle of Chianti when I arrived back from work. He’d laid the table with white crockery and candles, and my stomach rumbled as I breathed in the aroma of Mediterranean cooking that filled the room. Being brought up in an Italian family, he was an excellent cook. He’d learnt from an early age to be proficient in the kitchen. I posed no serious competition for him. Nathan pulled a chair out for me, and when I sat down, he began massaging the tops of my shoulders with his strong hands.

  ‘This is a nice surprise. What have I done to deserve this?’

  ‘I just wanted you to know how much I love you.’ Nathan poured me a large glass of wine before stooping to kiss me.

  ‘I love you too.’

  Nathan ran his fingers through his thick, dark hair, and his T-shirt rose up a little, exposing his muscular stomach. ‘I know I can be selfish and sometimes take you for granted.’ Pain contorted his face as he looked at me. ‘I’m sorry you got dragged into this. I’ve let you down again. Most women would have walked away from me years ago.’ Nathan shook his head and let out a long sigh.

  ‘Well, I’m not most women, so I’m not going anywhere.’

  I stood up, looked into my gorgeous husband’s face and wrapped my arms around his waist. Nathan made me feel special, and after years of living with self-doubt, for that, I would be eternally grateful. He had managed to restore my self-esteem and in my book that counted for a lot. I would always have his back. It was the least I could do.

  ‘I’m lucky to have you, but I don’t deserve you. You’ve had to give up everything for me.’

  Nathan cast his eyes towards the floor. He looked like a broken man, so I squeezed his hand. There must be something I could say to help him shake off the sadness. A depressive state of mind could be contagious. I hated seeing him like this and wanted to bring him back from the very dark place he was currently visiting.

  Admittedly, borrowing money from a shady character like Alfie Watson hadn’t been one of his best ideas, but that was no reason to walk away from him. Nathan and I loved each other, and the trials we’d battled through together had only made
our relationship stronger.

  ‘I promise I’m going to get us out of this.’

  ‘I know you will. No matter how bad we think our problems are, there’s somebody out there worse off than us.’

  Nathan pulled me close and rested his chin on the top of my head. I wasn’t sure I believed what I’d just said, but I hoped my words might cheer him up. Nathan’s blue mood didn’t need lowering any further.

  *

  Halfway through our candlelit dinner, just as Nathan’s spirits were lifted, we were rudely interrupted. Alfie opened our front door and walked in like he owned the place. The man had a nerve letting himself into our flat whenever he felt like it. His intrusion was a problem, and I was tempted to say something. But I’d better be careful how I approached it. Alfie was highly unpredictable; he possessed a loose-cannon personality trait. The last thing I wanted to do was to escalate the situation, so I decided to say nothing.

  He swaggered into the living room and sat down next to me. My heart started to race, pounding against my ribcage like it was attempting to break free. Staring straight ahead of me, I put down my knife and fork and pushed my plate away.

  Nathan cleared his throat and glared at Alfie from across the table. ‘To what do we owe the unexpected pleasure of your company?’ Nathan’s words were laced with sarcasm.

  I winced, wondering how Alfie would react.

  ‘Do you treat all your guests like this?’ Alfie laughed.

  ‘Only the ones I don’t like,’ Nathan replied in a venomous tone.

  Alfie arched an unimpressed eyebrow and took a long drag on his cigarette. Everything went quiet. With only the sound of my heartbeat filling my ears, tension hung heavy in the air while we waited for his response.

  ‘I’m not sure I like the way you just spoke to me, Nathan.’ Alfie paused and looked down as if considering his next words. ‘You have a serious attitude problem,’ he continued.