by L.H. Cosway
I stared at my reflection, trembling because he was right. Somehow the red made me look fierce and uncompromising. It was a heady feeling. My lips looked fuller and more sensual than before. I’d worn lipstick but never such a bold shade as this.
“Kiss the mirror,” Noah encouraged with a light push on my hips. As though in a trance, I leaned forward, pressing my lips to the cool glass. The approval in Noah’s gaze made me feel alive, like I was possessed by his wildness. “You kill me,” he breathed.
I was imprisoned in his stare, unable to look away. Breaking the silence, a car door slammed across the street, ripping me from the trance. I jolted and stepped back, feeling a chill.
“Can we go now?” I whispered.
“Not yet. First you need to help me mess up the bed.”
He leapt on the large double bed, jumping up and down like a kid before flopping onto his back.
I swallowed tightly at the smouldering look he gave me. “I think you’re doing a fine job of that on your own.”
“Nah, it’s a two-person job,” he replied, reaching out and pulling me down onto the bed with him. I shrieked and giggled when he started tickling me, his fingers under my armpits.
“Stop!” I gasped, wriggling beneath him. “I can’t handle this. I’m too ticklish.”
Noah quit his assault, making me suddenly aware of how he hovered over me, his beautiful green eyes taking me in. “You’re staring,” I whispered.
“I know,” he whispered back.
“Well, stop.” I pushed at his chest. He didn’t budge.
“I don’t want to.”
I inhaled, a little dizzy with how close he was. I got lost in his eyes yet again before I sternly reminded myself exactly where we were, and why we shouldn’t be spending time messing around.
“I can feel your heart beating,” Noah said, his hand around my wrist. His thumb brushed back and forth over the sensitive inner spot. “It’s so fast.”
I shifted slightly, but it only caused my breasts to strain against him. His jaw ticked. I tried a different tactic, my voice a sultry whisper, “Can we go now, please?”
Now it seemed like he was the one hypnotised. He shuddered as he focused on my mouth. His clear desire surged forth so fast it was overwhelming. He did want me. It was exhilarating to know the feeling was mutual, though why we were so drawn to each other was beyond me. We weren’t suited at all. At least, he wasn’t suitable. He made me act in ways far outside my comfort zone. Our current situation was a fine example.
Subconsciously, I must’ve liked the danger, yearned for it.
He shocked the hell out of me when he dropped his face to my neck and inhaled. Tingles encapsulated my body, the spot between my legs aching. The feel of his nose and mouth, his hot skin against me nearly undid me.
“Fuck,” he rasped, the word muffled. His fingers on my wrist tightened, and I knew my pulse still pounded away like crazy. My heart wanted to explode when his tongue dipped out, and he licked me from my neck to my earlobe.
God.
Was he trying to kill me?
A quiet moan filled my ears. It sounded strange, like it came from someone else, but I was the one who made it. This realisation was quickly eclipsed by the doorbell ringing. We both stiffened. The sweet pressure of Noah’s body left me as he strode across the room to look out the window. He gave a quiet, devious chuckle, pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on. He left the room and made his way downstairs. I had a momentary panic attack as I climbed out of bed and went to the window to see a postal delivery van outside.
My heart plunged to the bottom of my stomach when I heard Noah answer the door and greet the delivery driver. I hovered by the staircase and listened as Noah seemingly accepted the delivery, signed for the item, said goodbye and closed the front door. As soon as I heard it shut, I hurried down the stairs.
Noah was placing the small brown box on a sideboard when I pushed him in the shoulder. “What the hell was that? Are you trying to get caught?”
He grabbed my wrists, preventing me from pushing him a second time. He backed me up into the wall, bringing his chest flush with mine. “Sorry for the interruption. Now, where were we?”
He pressed his face into my neck again, and I lost the ability to think. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered, one hand coming to rest on my hip.
“I … I want us to leave,” I croaked weakly and felt him smile against my neck.
“As you wish.”
Just like that, his heat left me, and I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed when he led me outside. He closed the door securely behind him, then locked up and pocketed the key. His bike was still parked where he left it, and it was only as I climbed on and we sped away from Principal Hawkins’ house that I felt like I could finally breathe.
My heart raced. The stolen lipstick painted on my skin made me feel like I’d just gotten away with a crime. Technically, I had. But the scariest part?
As much I’d panicked about being caught in that house with Noah, another part of me was totally and completely exhilarated by every single moment of it.
13.
Vee stayed locked in her bedroom all day. I was glad not to see her, though my heartache and anger over her destroying my room was overtaken by butterflies and secret thrills. Memories of Noah pressing his face into my neck at Principal Hawkins house abounded. I kept closing my eyes, feeling his tongue against my skin, his heavy breathing. The intent way he’d focused on my mouth as he painted my lips red and told me I looked powerful.
I wasn’t new to sexual feelings. I’d had that particular awakening at fourteen when Aoife and I had a sleepover at her flat, and we watched the Sean Bean version of Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Ever since then, I’d understood the sensation I got deep in my stomach and between my thighs when I was attracted to a man. It was the same sensation I’d gotten the very first time I met Noah, when he stood by his motorbike smoking a cigarette outside the house.
I knew our age gap and family connection made things weird. But like Aoife said, I’d be nineteen soon, and six years wasn’t that much. I felt like I was constantly thinking about it, trying to moralise the idea of being with Noah in my head. I was also confused, because the night of Vee’s party he told me we weren’t meant to be, while his behaviour today completely contradicted that. Had he changed his mind? Did he want me so much that whatever reservations he’d had simply weren’t enough to keep him away from me?
I remembered him singing David Bowie to me this morning, the genuine goofiness he displayed to try and lift my spirits, and how he’d picked me up and rescued me from Vee’s fury last night. He wouldn’t do those things if he didn’t care, right? If he didn’t have feelings similar to the ones I was experiencing …
Did he think about me constantly the same way I thought about him?
My second day of suspension from school was less exciting. Aoife came over to see me on her lunch break. I snuck down to the beach, and we sat on the sand while she filled me in on how everyone at school thought I was a tough bitch (her words not mine) for starting the fight with Sally. Too soon she had to go. We hugged, and I told her I’d see her in the morning.
After all the drama, I was determined to keep my head down at school. No matter what Sally said, I wouldn’t let her rile me again. The following morning, I was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast when Noah walked in. He wore a shirt and tie, fitted slacks and black leather shoes. He’d dressed smartly for Vee’s birthday party, too, but on a normal day he usually wore jeans and T-shirts.
“Morning,” he said as he went to make a cup of coffee.
“Good morning,” I replied, unsure how to act around him now that my feelings were substantially more … intense. A part of me wished we’d never touched at all. That way I wouldn’t know what I was missing. “Where are you off to?”
“First day at my new job,” he answered casually.
I gaped at him. “You got another job? Where?”
Now I blinked. “The mayor of this town needs security?”
The edges of his lips curved ever so slightly. “Apparently so.”
I remembered Noah schmoozing with the mayor and her husband at Vee’s party. Maybe he’d managed to charm his way into a job then, convince her security was something she needed?
“Well, good luck with your first day.”
“And good luck with your first day back at school. Try not to maim any more students if you can,” he said teasingly.
“I’ll try,” I replied with a small smile, building up the courage to ask a favour. “Will you be in the city this week?”
Noah lifted his coffee mug. “I might be.”
“Could you buy something for me?”
He came forward, kneeling down and reaching out to touch my knee. “What do you need?”
I had a moment of dizzy headedness at the sight of him below me like that. I cleared my throat. “A cheap smartphone. The cheapest you can find. I’d buy one myself, but there aren’t any electronics shops in town,” I said, pulling out the money I’d taken from my stash this morning and handing it to him. He took it and shoved it in his pocket.
“Okay,” he said, and I felt like rejoicing. I was finally going to have my own phone! I’d be able to call or text Aoife whenever I needed.
“Thank you,” I replied quietly. He didn’t make a move to stand, and the longer he knelt there staring at me with his irresistibly enigmatic smile, the hotter I grew.
“What?” I whispered, unable to take the intensity emanating from him.
Noah exhaled, his focus on his hand cupping my knee. “I don’t do favours for people, Estella.” There was a brief pause as his eyes came to mine. “But I do favours for you all the time.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Your point?”
His gaze sharpened. “My point is you’re in danger of turning me into a good person.”
Well, that was ironic, because he was in danger of turning me into a bad one. I still felt the shameful thrill of sneaking into Principal Hawkins’ house.
The front door opened, announcing Irene’s arrival. Noah stood and returned to sipping his coffee by the counter as her shoes clipped down the hall toward Sylvia’s bedroom. I brought my plate and cup over to the sink to rinse them, feeling Noah’s eyes on me the entire time.
I picked up my bag and walked toward the back door. “See you later,” I said and headed out. The chilly sea air cooled my cheeks, and for once I was glad of the cold weather. Noah always made me feel way too hot.
When I arrived at school and went to grab some books from my locker, Sister Dorothy approached me.
“Miss Shannon, it’s good to see you back,” she said, her ever present ambiguous smile in place.
“Thank you, Sister Dorothy. It’s good to be back.”
“I hope you’ve learned your lesson,” she went on, then leaned closer to speak quietly, “Though if you ask me, Sally O’Hare was in need of a good hiding.” I blinked, wondering if I heard her correctly. I knew I had when she winked, her voice rising back to its normal level. “My door is always open if you ever need to talk.” She patted me once on the shoulder before continuing down the corridor. I shook my head and chuckled to myself. Sister Dorothy had a devious streak. The little interaction made me feel like she was on my side, and it was nice to know I could go and talk to her whenever I needed.
Later in the day, I was on my way to meet Aoife for lunch when I spotted Principal Hawkins having a serious conversation outside his office with the science teacher, Mr. Hanley. I hid around a corner and listened.
“Did you report it?” Mr. Hanley asked.
“Of course, I did,” Hawkins replied. “But you know what they’re like down at the station. Completely incompetent. I doubt they’ll even bother trying to find the bastard who did it since nothing was really taken.”
“Did you tell them about Theresa’s dresses?”
“I told them everything. The bloody lunatic even took a bite out of one of my apples, but it’s not like they’re going to do any testing or sweeping for fingerprints. You’d have to be murdered in your bloody bed before they’d go that far. Theresa was pale as a ghost when she saw what had been done.”
“Sounds like the handiwork of a stalker,” Hanley commented.
“That’s what I thought. I had a house key go missing a few weeks ago. I thought I just misplaced it, but … well, now I’m wondering if it was stolen. They even signed for a package delivery. I called the post office, and they checked the records. The cheeky shit signed for it using my name!” I heard the fury in his voice now. Whatever Noah’s intention for entering the principal’s house, if he aimed to piss him off and freak him out, he’d certainly achieved that goal. “I managed to get in touch with the delivery driver, but he couldn’t remember what the man who accepted the package looked like, just said his face was hidden under sunglasses.”
“That is strange,” Mr. Hanley agreed.
Hawkins rubbed his jaw. “It’s more than strange. It’s demented.” There was a long pause before he continued. “I have a small suspicion who it might’ve been, but without any evidence I can’t prove a thing.” At this, my heart skipped a beat. Did he suspect Noah?
“Who do you think it was?” Mr. Hanley questioned.
Hawkins’ voice was tense and a little scared. “I can’t say but … oh, forget I said anything. I’m just upset about the whole thing. We’ve never had a break-in before. Now I’m going to have to fork out for new locks and a security system.” I moved around the corner, casting Hawkins a quick glance. He had bags under his eyes that weren’t usually present, like he’d lost sleep over this.
A small measure of guilt pinched at me. But I also felt like Noah had a good reason for messing with Hawkins. I had no proof of this other than a feeling. Maybe my attraction for him was clouding my judgement.
I wanted to tell Aoife about what happened during my suspension, but I worried she’d judge me for going along with Noah. I thought of how I let him put that lipstick on me. The surreal moment when I’d kissed the mirror, the shape of my lips imprinted on the glass. I was ashamed because secretly I’d enjoyed it.
When I got home that evening the house was quiet. I was disappointed to see Noah’s bike was missing from the driveway, and I wondered what exactly his job working for the mayor entailed.
I went upstairs to use the bathroom, and on my way back down, I paused on the second step. A faint, feminine voice spoke muffled words I couldn’t make out. I followed them back up the stairs and stopped at Vee’s bedroom door. It was left ajar, and it sounded like she was in there talking to herself.
A chill crept over me.
“You don’t control me anymore, you idiot,” she scoffed, emitting an eery, joyless laugh. I peeked through the crack in the door and saw her wandering around her room in a silk robe, grimacing because it looked like she had nothing on underneath. I didn’t need to see that. Still, something kept me frozen to the spot. I wanted to know what she was saying, who she imagined she was talking to.
“The house is mine now. It’s not like Sylvia has the strength or resources to fight me for it. I’ll burn it to the fucking ground someday if I want to. Where will I live? Ha! I’ll find somewhere, I’m sure. You always said I was beautiful. Someone will take me in. Sylvia on the other hand? She’ll be out on the street. Or worse, in one of those Godawful care homes.”
She picked a clear bottle of what appeared to be gin off the windowsill, brought it to her mouth and took a long swig as she spun around the bedroom, dancing a strange, drunken dance. I was more than a little concerned about her saying she’d burn the house down.
Despite our troubled relationship, seeing Vee like this wasn’t fun for me. Many times I’d considered helping her quit drinking, but even broaching the subject was tough. I’d never managed to get the words out. Probably because she always cut me off with a
cruel remark before I ever had the chance to be kind. To try to help.
My conscience niggled at me while Vee continued to talk to whoever she imagined was in the room with her. This house really was haunted, but not with the dead. Noah was right about that. Vee had enough demons to fill a hundred houses with ghosts. Noah, too, it seemed.
I wished more than ever to know their full story. To see clearly exactly how they became the people they were today.
I turned to leave, the floorboard creaking under my foot. Vee went silent, and I froze. Shit! She was going to catch me out here. I swear I stopped breathing. I waited for the inevitable, but it never came. Instead Vee closed her bedroom door with a quiet snick, shielding her crazy talk from prying ears.
As quietly as I could, I hurried back down the stairs and went straight to my room. I sat on my bed, still affected by Vee’s haunting monologue. I suspected if I had to live in this house as long as she had, I might go just as mad as her one day.
A foreboding feeling hit me, because my plans to get as far away from here as I possibly could weren’t so clear cut anymore. Noah had captured a part of me I didn’t know existed, rendering my carefully crafted plans into a slowly crumbling relic.
14.
Many quiet, uneventful weeks went by.
I was glad for them, because despite being drawn to Noah’s chaos, I really didn’t enjoy conflict. I also needed to buckle down and prepare for my exams. I came into my room one evening and found a brand-new smartphone from him. It clearly cost far more than what I’d given him, and I didn’t know how to feel about that. He’d also included credit so I could make calls and go on the internet.
To thank him, I crafted an ashtray out of the seashells he’d collected and left it on his nightstand while he was out. He’d probably think it silly, but I didn’t have anything else to give. Plus, he did smoke a lot.
He also started to keep his distance. I wasn’t sure if it was simply because he was busy with his new job, or if it was because we’d gotten too close. Maybe he’d come to the conclusion that he didn’t have time for me. Whatever his reason for being here, it wasn’t to become involved with his sister’s stepdaughter. I was an outlier. Something he hadn’t planned for.