Beyond the Sea: A Modern Gothic Romance

by L.H. Cosway

  The figures before me faded to black, and I was back in the present. I sat on the floor, my back flush with the wall. My heart was pounding away in my chest as I tried to make sense of what I’d witnessed. Had I just seen into the past again?

  I stood on shaky legs, and it took me a moment to sense the uncomfortable energy in the room. Then I heard Noah addressing his audience.

  “So that’s the truth behind the man you all thought of so fondly. He wasn’t a gentleman. He was a devil in a three-piece suit.” I realised quite shockingly that Noah had just recounted most of what I’d seen in my vision to the room. He’d told them all the truth about his family. “My father’s friends witnessed him act in the most inhuman ways. They even enjoyed it. And it benefited them to do nothing because Victor was a speculator. He made them a lot of money, once upon a time. So, what if he liked to beat his son, rape his daughter? It’s not your business to get involved, right? RIGHT?” There was that wildness in his eyes, the mania I caught glimpses of now and then shining through.

  As I looked around the room, I noticed people were casting disgusted glances at Victor’s friends. I was disgusted, too. Especially at Principal Hawkins. He’d given false witness against Noah to save Sylvia from scrutiny. I couldn’t believe it. There were few things lower than conspiring to put an innocent man behind bars. No, an innocent child. Now I truly understood Noah’s disdain for Hawkins, and why he enjoyed messing with his head.

  Now everyone in town knew the truth, and the weight of it hung heavy in the air. Noah picked up his glass, savouring the moment. I thought he might be a little drunk. Maybe he needed the liquid courage to make such a shocking and disturbing speech. Principal Hawkins had started making his way toward Noah. “That’s enough. Nobody wants to hear any more of your lies.”

  Noah laughed, a crazed look in his eyes. “I think everyone knows I’m not lying, John.”

  I spotted Sally and Kean, distress and fear on their faces. Their precious parents had been exposed for what they truly were. Matt O’Hare looked like he was ready to fight Noah, and Enda Riordan stood next to his wife, quietly furious. Mayor McBride’s husband held her to him as she wept shamefully.

  I couldn’t believe the mayhem Noah had unleashed, all in the space of a few minutes, but I knew one thing was for certain. I had to get him out of there. Vee was nowhere to be seen. She probably fled as soon as Noah started telling his story.

  I made my way through the guests and got in between Noah and Hawkins. I eyed my ex-principal square in the eye. “I think you should leave.”

  “Oh, I’m leaving all right, but make no mistake,” he said, looking past me to Noah. “You’ll be hearing from my solicitor. What you said tonight is tantamount to slander.”

  “It’s not slander if it’s the truth,” Noah retorted. “But you’re right. You should contact your solicitor. I hope you have a good one.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Hawkins fumed.

  Noah grinned viciously. “You’ll see.”

  I felt his warmth at my back, the fury for Hawkins radiating out of him in white hot rage. Hawkins looked scared now. He backed away, taking his shellshocked wife’s hand and storming out. I turned to address the guests still in the room. Someone had to put an end to this madness. “My apologies, but I’m going to have to ask you all to leave,” I stated loudly.

  I turned back to Noah, and our gazes clashed. For a moment, he looked unsure, like now that I knew the truth, I might reject him. Didn’t he know that the truth only made me love him more? What he and Vee had gone through was horrifying, but none of it was their fault. I wrapped my arms around him tight. He seemed surprised by my embrace, his hands coming to rest unsteadily on my lower back.

  “I’m so sorry for everything that happened to you,” I whispered into his neck. He didn’t say a word, his posture stiff. But I didn’t let go, and eventually he melted into my hug like he needed it more than oxygen. “I can’t believe Vee’s your mother. Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered.

  “Because I like the way you look at me, and I didn’t think you’d still look at me that way if you knew,” he answered. I pulled back to meet his eyes. “I’m an abomination, Estella, born from darkness and misery. Unlovable.”

  “That’s not true. Victor and Sylvia tried to make you believe that, but you’re loveable, Noah. And I love you.”

  “I don’t believe you,” he said, but his eyes were full of hope. He wanted to believe.

  I brought my hand up to caress his cheek. “You once told me that sometimes you couldn’t tell if you were being righteous or irrational, and I told you I’d be there to let you know. Well, I think the same principal can be applied to this. Noah, you are not an abomination,” I said, my words unequivocal.

  Just like that, tears rolled down his cheeks. “I didn’t expect you at all,” he whispered.

  “I didn’t expect you either,” I whispered back, wiping a tear from beneath his eye. “But I’m so glad you came.” I might’ve been letting my love for him override everything else, but I simply couldn’t let him leave tomorrow. I couldn’t watch him ride away on his bike and possibly never see him again. Maybe I was too much like my father, unable to help following my heart above all else. Hopelessly romantic.

  Almost everyone had left, and I was locked in a moment with Noah. Sylvia sat in the corner, a broken woman. Her sins were revealed for all to see. I hated her. Hated what she’d done to Noah, and how cruel she’d been to him and Vee through the years. It was difficult to pair the person she once was with who I knew her as, but I had to remind myself she was the same person deep down. She was still just as rotten inside. A memory struck, and I brought my attention back to Noah.

  “That time when I thought you pushed Sylvia out of her wheelchair,” I whispered. “What really happened?”

  Noah cast a brief, disdainful glance at her, then looked back to me. “She threw herself from the chair on purpose. She saw we were growing close, and she wanted to turn you against me. She’s hated me from the day I was born, and she can’t stand the idea of anyone loving me.”

  I heard the truth in his words and fury filled me. Fury for a woman I’d once thought meek and kind, a woman I’d cared for and put to bed countless nights. I knew he was telling the truth because she’d tried making me believe he was dangerous, but she was the true villain.

  I didn’t make eye contact with her as I led Noah upstairs to his room. It was so hard to ignore her, but knowing what I knew now, I’d never be able to look at her the same way again.

  She’d known what Victor did, but she’d decided to pretend she hadn’t. She’d let him abuse Vee and Noah for years after that, lied that Noah had killed his father when it had been an accident, gone along with Hawkins’ false testimony.

  We entered Noah’s room, and as usual, the curtains were wide open. I looked out at the dark view, not paying much attention until I noticed a lone figure standing in the water.

  Vee.

  She was down on the beach, walking farther and farther out to sea. With stark horror, I realised what she was doing.

  She was going to drown herself.

  I fled Noah’s room, no time to explain where I was going. I had to get to Vee before she did something she could never undo. I raced down the stairs and to the kitchen. Suddenly, the sound system came to life, blaring “Beyond the Sea” by Bobby Darin. The song was deafeningly loud, startlingly so, but I was too desperate to get to Vee to wonder who or what turned the music back on.

  I pushed open the back door and sped through the garden, straight to the cliff’s edge and down the stone steps onto the beach. Bobby Darin’s crooning followed me, his voice creepily echoing in the night and making the hairs on the back of my neck rise. I raced for the shore and dove into the water fully clothed. I could barely see Vee anymore. Only her head was above the water. The sea was like icicles. The shock of it was so intense my lungs struggled for air. It was like being punched hard in the chest.

  “Vee!” I shou
ted, but she didn’t respond. Salt water filled my mouth as I tried not to succumb to the cold. I swam towards her, pushing through the freeze. “No!” I cried when I saw her go under just a few feet from where I was. I took a deep breath and plunged under the water. It was hard to open my eyes fully, but I caught a glimpse of the material of Vee’s green dress and reached out, grasping for it to no avail.

  “Estella,” I heard a muffled, indistinct voice call my name from above. My oxygen was quickly depleting, and I started to grow dizzy. I couldn’t see Vee anymore. Weakness caused me to lose control as a powerful current swept me under. My limbs flailed all about, struggling to return to the surface, but it seemed impossible. In a panic, I opened my mouth, letting in vast amounts of sea water. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I did it. Suffocation set in, and I wasn’t sure if it was real or an hallucination, but I saw the dark shadows from my dreams morph into Victor’s cruel face as his voice sounded in my head, I told you to stop him. You should’ve stopped him.

  I thought I felt thick, solid strands of seaweed twine around my waist, but it wasn’t seaweed. It was Noah. His arms were looped around my waist. I was so relieved to see him. He brought his lips to mine, as though to kiss me, but then my lungs came alive as he blew oxygen into my mouth.

  I felt him pull me back to the surface, and the sweet relief of having my head above water was like nothing I’d ever felt. “Swim to shore. I need to get Vee,” he ordered.

  I wanted to argue with him, but he was already gone. Weakly, I swam back to the beach, walking the rest of the way once the water became shallow enough. I fell onto the sand, soaked to the bone, and swiftly passed out from exhaustion. When consciousness returned, Vee was next to me. She stared up at the sky, shivering in her wet dress. I sat up and looked around.

  “Where’s Noah?” I asked, my throat constricting in fear.

  Vee glanced at me, sad and cold and wet. “Noah?”

  “He went to get you,” I said, panic rising.

  Vee looked confused. “No, he didn’t. I came out here to … to,” her voice broke, and I reached out, placing my hand on hers. “I know. It’s okay. Just tell me what happened.”

  Vee swallowed thickly. “It was only when the current pulled me under that I realised I didn’t want to die. Then I had this sudden burst of energy, and I managed to swim back to the surface”

  At her explanation, I stood abruptly on wobbly legs and ran back to the water. “Noah!” I called out. “Noah!” But there was no answer, only a vast, black sea and endless waves. Vee was behind me then, gripping my shoulder. I turned to her. “I saw you from Noah’s bedroom window. I ran out to stop you, but I almost drowned, then Noah was there. He pulled me to the surface before going back for you.”

  Horror filled Vee’s eyes as an unsettling fact sank in. “He didn’t find me.”

  24.

  “We have to call search and rescue. He could still be out there,” I said, even though a sinking feeling in my gut told me it was hopeless. This was always going to happen. It was my curse. I thought it was going to come for me, but it was far cleverer than that.

  Instead, it took the man I loved.

  I ran to the house and dialled 999. It wasn’t long before a rescue team arrived. Vee and I stood side by side on the beach wrapped in blankets. A heavy silence hung in the air.

  “If he drowned, it’s my fault,” she said sorrowfully.

  I didn’t reply, because I was still too agitated to speak. I refused to accept he was gone. He was alive and vivid and vital in my arms just a short while ago. He couldn’t be gone just like that.

  He just couldn’t.

  Hours went by, but there was no trace of Noah. I spoke with a member of the rescue team. She said they’d keep searching through the night, and I should try and get some sleep. There was no hope of me sleeping, not when it seemed like they were no longer looking for a live person, but for a body.

  In a daze, I walked to the house. I sat at the kitchen table for what felt like an eternity. Finally, morning came. Irene arrived in a flurry of panic, having heard what happened to Noah. I knew she was speaking to me, but I was too out of it to absorb a word she said.

  I climbed the stairs to my room, lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I had yet to cry, but suddenly big, wet, messy tears streamed down my face as I curled up on my side, holding my knees to my chest as I sobbed and sobbed.

  This wasn’t real.

  It was a dream.

  Yes, only a dream.

  But it wasn’t a dream, and the stark reality of a life without Noah made me wish I’d drowned out there with him. What we had was so new and fragile, and it now it was gone, drifting away on the waves.

  At some point, I fell asleep from exhaustion, only waking when chills seized my body. I was still in my dress from last night. The wet fabric had since dried, but now it clung tight to my skin. I peeled it off and ran a bath. I sank into the too hot water; letting it scorch my skin, hoping it might make me numb. I didn’t want to feel anything. None of it.

  I sat in the tub so long the water went cold. I finally climbed out, wrapped myself in a towel and walked back to my room like a zombie. I heard voices downstairs as I dressed. I went down and found Vee sitting at the kitchen table, pale as a ghost as she spoke with the woman from last night. I couldn’t remember her name, but I knew she was the head of the search and rescue team. Both of their attentions came to me, but they didn’t have to say anything. I knew from their sad faces that Noah hadn’t been found. I wanted to cry again, but after last night I had no tears left. I was an empty shell, unfeeling. It was better than confronting the stark reality that Noah had died. His body swept away by the sea, never to be found again.

  The next two days were the worst of my life. It was like Dad’s accident on repeat. I had so much pain and grief, it felt like my body wasn’t big enough or strong enough to contain it. The search for Noah ended. No body was recovered. A small funeral mass was arranged by Irene and Siobhan, since Vee was just as out of it as I was. She kept mostly to her room.

  A part of me wondered if Noah had survived and simply left like a ghost in the night like he’d always planned to. But all his things were still in his room, his motorbike still parked outside in the driveway. It was a painful reminder of his absence. Still, I clung onto hope, because somehow the thought of him being alive and out there somewhere was less painful than him being gone forever. Even if it meant he’d abandoned me.

  I called his phone endlessly, only ever getting the beep of his voicemail in response. I left countless messages, but a part of me knew there would be no reply.

  I tried to comfort myself with the fact that he was finally free of the horrors that haunted him, free of the revenge that consumed him, but it was no use. I didn’t want him to be gone, even if he was at peace. I wanted him back and alive in my arms.

  On the morning of his funeral, I pulled myself together, dressing in a plain black dress and cardigan. Then I went to knock on Vee’s door.

  “Who is it?” asked a weak voice.

  I opened the door slowly and entered the room. Vee lay in bed, her vacant stare trained on the ceiling. I could almost see the guilt that ate at her, and I had to use up all my reserves of forgiveness not to blame her for what happened. She hadn’t meant to harm anyone but herself by walking out into the sea that night. Knowing what she’d been through, I understood why she’d done it. But it was still hard to be kind when all I wanted to do was yell and scream and kick something. It wouldn’t achieve anything, and it certainly wouldn’t make me feel any better.

  Vee was a victim just like Noah, and I simply couldn’t allow her to go back to her old ways, wallowing and wasting away in this house. It was the last thing Noah would’ve wanted.

  “Are you coming to the funeral?” I asked in a gentle voice. Her bloodshot eyes met mine as she struggled to push up out of the bed. She seemed completely out of it. “Yes, um,” a pause as her brow furrowed. “The funeral’s today?”

&nb
sp; I nodded, concerned. The fact she no longer knew what day it was worried me.

  Vee looked around as though trying to find her bearings. “Just give me time to shower and dress.”

  “He never wanted you to stay here. You know that, right? You’re the reason he came back,” I said.

  Tears filled Vee’s eyes as she stared at the floor. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”

  “Of course, you do. There’s a whole world out there, and anywhere is better than here. You must have some money left from Dad’s life insurance.”

  She cast me a glance. “Very little.”

  “It’s still something. It’s a start. Plus, you’ve got a car and the clothes on your back. Don’t stay here, Vee. Let Noah’s sacrifice be for something.”

  I saw her absorbing my words as she stood from the bed. “I’ll think about it,” she answered weakly.

  Her response was better than nothing, I guessed. At least she was considering it.

  I went downstairs, opening the front door on autopilot and picking up the morning newspaper. I barely spared it a glance, but something about the front-page headline caught my eye. I saw the words “fraud” and “exposed” and stood in the doorway to scan the article.

  My breath caught.

  It detailed what Noah had told me of Hawkins and Mayor McBride stealing money from the school and the town to line their pockets. Evidence had been brought forward against them, exposing how they’d been skimming money and using Enda Riordan and Matt O’Hare to launder it through their businesses. All four of them would face prosecution. Had Noah arranged for this to happen? It made sense since he’d told Hawkins to watch his back.

  Not only had he let everyone in the town know what kind of people they were, he’d also ensured they’d be punished for their crimes. I felt strangely content about that.