Goosebumps Most Wanted #5: Dr. Maniac Will See You Now

by R. L. Stine

  “That was me,” Maniac said. “Just doing my morning exercises.”

  He took a deep breath, then let out a long, high scream. Panting, he took the stethoscope and listened to his own chest. “Hey, I’m not breathing!” he cried. “Somebody call a doctor!”

  “You’re the doctor,” Starlet said from the doorway. “Go to the phone and call yourself.”

  “But today is my day off!” Maniac cried.

  I’d had enough of his comedy act. I stepped up close to him, my hands balled into fists. “Where is my brother?” I demanded. “We saw you take him. What have you done to him?”

  “Your brother?” Dr. Maniac shook his head. His expression turned serious. “I’m soooo sorry,” he said in a whisper. “Your brother didn’t make it. Squeezer and Squisher, the Squid Twins, got him. It … it was very messy.”

  A stab of horror made me gasp. “That’s not true!” I screamed.

  Maniac nodded. “You’re right. It’s not true. I lied.” He shook his head. “It’s such a bad habit. Why do I lie all the time? Is it because I had an unhappy childhood?”

  “I don’t care,” I said, my voice trembling. “I just want to see my brother. Where is he? Where?”

  Maniac rubbed his chin. “Come to think of it, I had a very happy childhood. So why am I such a terrible liar? Is it because I’m a maniac?”

  “I don’t care!” I screamed again. I picked up the stethoscope from the front of his lab coat and shouted into it, “Where is my brother?”

  Maniac shrieked and jerked the stethoscope from his ears. “Ouch. I’m deaf now. I’m totally deaf. Call a doctor!”

  “You’re a doctor,” the Scarlet Starlet called from the front room.

  “But I can’t see myself!” he cried. “I don’t have an appointment.”

  I raised my fists. I was about to lose it. “Ernie!” I shouted. “Are you here somewhere? Ernie? Can you hear me?”

  I heard a bang. A hard thud. The door to the supply cabinet against the wall burst open. And Ernie came toppling out.

  He landed on his side and quickly scrambled to his feet.

  “You’re here!” I cried happily. “You’re okay!”

  He rolled his eyes. “What took you so long?”

  “Give us a break,” Bree said. “We had to leave the real world behind to come here and rescue you.”

  “Well, get me out of here!” Ernie shouted.

  “Not so fast,” Dr. Maniac said, stepping to block the door. “I think you’ll learn to like it here.”

  “Like it here?” Bree cried. “Seriously?”

  “We’re going home,” I said. I took Ernie’s hand and started to pull him out of the office.

  Dr. Maniac spread his arms to keep us back. “Richard, I knew if I brought your brother here, you would come down to rescue him. And now I have all three of you as my guests. My guests — forever.”

  “Guests? You mean prisoners?” I asked. My heart started to pound in my chest.

  “That’s such a harsh word,” Maniac said. “Why don’t we say friends. You are my new best friends. And best friends stick together, right?”

  “I don’t want to be your friend,” Ernie said. “I want to go home. Why don’t you keep Richard? He’s really into comic books. Why don’t you keep him and let me go home?”

  Nice kid, huh?

  Glad I risked my life to save him.

  Dr. Maniac’s smile faded. His voice turned cold. “Forget about going home,” he growled. “This is your home now. Deal with it.”

  “Why?” I cried. “Why do you want to keep the three of us here?”

  “Don’t worry,” he said. “There will be more of you. There will be hundreds of you.”

  Bree plopped down on the chair behind the desk. “This isn’t happening,” she murmured to herself. “I know this isn’t happening.” She tore at her blond hair with both hands.

  “Everyone left Comic Book World,” Maniac said. “All of my comic book friends. They all escaped to the real world. I need people here. I need people to live in this world.”

  “You’re a maniac!” I cried.

  He smiled. “So what else is new?”

  “But — but we can’t —” I sputtered.

  “Listen to me,” he said. “Comic book characters all want to live in the real world. So I’m going to bring real people to live in Comic Book World.”

  “But you can’t do that to us. We don’t belong here!” I cried.

  He raised a gloved hand to silence me. “Real people,” he repeated. “Real people. Real people to obey my every command. Real people to be my slaves.” He giggled. “Won’t that be fun?”

  “No way!” Ernie cried. He dove across the room and tried to kick Maniac in the leg.

  But the supervillain dodged to the side, and Ernie ran headfirst into his cape.

  Shouting angrily, Ernie got all tangled, and Maniac had to pull him out.

  “Don’t you realize how lucky you are?” Maniac asked. “People never age in comic books. That means you’ll stay young for the rest of your lives!”

  “We — we’ll be kids forever?” I stammered.

  “Oh, thrills,” Bree muttered.

  I edged over to where she was sitting. I leaned forward to whisper to her. “If we all make a run for it at once, he won’t be able to stop us.”

  She turned and stared at the door. “Maybe …” she whispered back.

  But Maniac must have overheard us. Or maybe he was a mind reader. Because he swung quickly to the office door — and clicked the lock.

  “Okay, slaves,” he said. He clapped his hands together. “Let’s talk about all the wonderful things you’re going to do for me.”

  “I’m hungry,” Ernie said. “It’s dinnertime back home. What do you have to eat?”

  Dr. Maniac narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re joking, right? There’s no real food in Comic Book World. Comic characters don’t eat real food.”

  “We’re going to starve?” Ernie cried.

  Maniac never had a chance to answer.

  A deafening roar shook the room. I was slammed against the wall as a sharp blast shattered the windows.

  I ducked. Jagged shards of glass flew across the office.

  A shadow fell over us as someone leaped onto the window ledge. He jumped into the room, his purple cape flying behind him. His boots crunched the glass shards beneath him.

  The Purple Rage!

  He took a few steps toward Maniac, hands on the waist of his purple tights, his biceps bulging. Then he saw Ernie, Bree, and me.

  “How can you be here? You — you exploded!” I cried.

  “I pulled myself together,” he said.

  “Get us out of here!” Ernie said.

  “Thank goodness you’re here,” I said. “You can free us from this maniac.”

  The Rage stared hard at me. “You’re kidding, right? Help you? Did you forget I’m a villain?” He put his arm around Maniac’s shoulders. “I’m on his side now.”

  Maniac and the Rage both laughed evil laughs. They bumped knuckles and laughed some more.

  Bree sat behind the desk, shaking her head sadly. Ernie had a droopy look on his face. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and lowered his head.

  I have to admit I felt pretty defeated, too. This was definitely looking bad for us.

  I had my eyes on the locked office door. My brain spun. I tried frantically to think of a way to escape.

  I thought of the Scarlet Starlet. She was seated at the desk on the other side of the door. If I called her, would she open the door and let us out?

  No way.

  I gazed at the smashed window. It was wide open now. Could the three of us get to the window before Maniac and the Rage hauled us back?

  No way.

  “Know what PINCHES my PIGGYBANK?” the Purple Rage boomed. “Everything!” He pulled back his fist and with a powerful swing, punched it into the wall.

  His fist cracked the plaster and shot deep into the wall. The Rage l
et out a howl of pain.

  “Why did I just do that?” he cried.

  “Because you’re a maniac?” Dr. Maniac suggested.

  “No,” the Rage growled, pulling his fist from the wall. “Sometimes I just get so angry, I want to punch my fist into a wall.”

  He turned to me. “You ever punch your fist through a wall just because you felt like it?”

  “No,” I said. “Never.”

  “You should try it,” he said. “Now that you’re in our world, you should try to develop some bad habits, kid.”

  “I’ll try,” I said.

  And that made an idea flash into my head.

  Yes. Yes. Ernie, Bree, and I weren’t in our own world. We were in their world. The superhero supervillain comic book world.

  So … maybe that meant I had superpowers, too.

  Anything is possible here — right? I mean, Bree’s leg was halfway down the beach. And I fixed it just by pushing it back on. So I could have superpowers in this world. Powers I can use to get the three of us out of here.

  Maniac and the Rage weren’t expecting me to try anything. I had surprise on my side.

  I tried to signal to Bree and Ernie that I was about to try something. But they were both staring down glumly at the floor.

  Quickly, I made a plan. I decided to tackle Dr. Maniac, send him tumbling into the Purple Rage. Then get the others moving — and fly out the window.

  Could we fly? Why not? This was Comic Book World. Of course we could fly.

  My chest felt all fluttery. My hands were ice cold. Sure, I was nervous. But I knew I could do it. I knew I could be a superhero and help us escape.

  I took a deep breath, leaped high — and dove across the room at Dr. Maniac.

  “OWWWWW.”

  A cry burst from my throat as I fell flat on my face.

  I hit the floor hard, knocking my breath out. Pain shot through my whole body.

  I don’t have any superpowers.

  Gasping for breath, I shut my eyes and listened to the two supervillains laugh.

  Oh, wow. They thought it was a riot. They tossed their heads back and hee-hawed at the top of their lungs. They slapped each other on the back and laughed some more.

  And I realized this was our chance.

  I pulled myself to my feet. Then I gave Bree and Ernie a shove toward the door.

  Maniac and the Rage were still laughing and high-fiving each other. I tore across the room and pulled open the office door.

  The three of us darted past the Scarlet Starlet. She looked up, surprised. “Leaving so soon?” she said.

  “We’re out of here!” I cried breathlessly. My heart pounding, I led the way toward the front door.

  But another huge figure in a white lab coat stepped in front of us. “Not so fast,” he growled.

  I gasped in shock. I recognized him at once.

  “Dr. Root!” I cried. “The allergy doctor! What are you doing here?”

  The huge man lumbered toward us. His round pink face glowed in the bright office lights. He kept his arms outstretched, ready to stop us if we tried to run around him.

  “Stay calm, Richard,” he said. “Everyone stay calm. You’re perfectly okay.”

  “But — but —” I sputtered. I couldn’t believe he was here. He didn’t belong in this world.

  “Who is he?” Ernie whispered.

  “My new allergy doctor,” I whispered. “He gave me a shot that didn’t work and —”

  “Yes, I gave you a shot,” Dr. Root said. “And you fainted. Do you remember that part, Richard?”

  I pictured that two-foot-long needle, and my whole body shuddered.

  “Yes, I remember that,” I said.

  “Well, let me explain things to you,” Root said. “This is all a dream.”

  “Huh? Excuse me? A dream?”

  “Don’t you see?” he said. “You fainted from the shot, and you’re having a nightmare. That’s all it is.”

  Bree gave me a hard shove in the side. “A nightmare? Why do I have to be in your nightmare?”

  “I … don’t get this at all,” I said.

  When I turned back to Dr. Root, he had another hypodermic needle in his hand. Another two-foot-long needle!

  “Wh-what are you going to do?” I stammered, taking a step back.

  His tiny black eyes narrowed at me. “I’m going to give you another shot to wake you up. After this shot, you’ll be just fine. Trust me.”

  Trust him? Why should I trust him?

  He raised his blubbery arm and thundered toward me.

  In a total panic, I turned to Bree. “Quick — pinch me!” I cried.

  Bree squinted at me. “Did you say pinch you?”

  “Yes. Hurry. Pinch me hard.”

  “I’d love to!” she said. She grabbed my arm and dug her fingers and thumb in as hard as she could.

  “Owwwwww!” I opened my mouth in a shrill scream of pain.

  I took an angry step toward Dr. Root. “You’re a LIAR!” I shouted. “This is definitely not a dream.”

  “Okay, okay,” he said. He lowered the needle to the side of his fat stomach. “I lied.” He rubbed his flabby chins. “Want to know the truth?”

  “Sure. The truth,” I said, still angry. “How about it? How about telling us the truth.”

  “I’m the one who opened the passage between the two worlds,” Root said. “I was the first one out. Didn’t you wonder why my office was right across the street from the Comic Book Museum?”

  “No,” I said. “No. I didn’t think …”

  “Why did you do it?” Bree demanded. “Why did you open the door between the two worlds?”

  His smile made the flab on his face quiver. “I knew if I could open the door,” he said, “I could cause panic everywhere.”

  “But — why?” I cried. “Why did you want to create panic?”

  He stuck out his chest proudly. “Because … I’m the Root of All Evil!” He tossed back his head and opened his mouth in an evil comic-book laugh. “Maniac and I — we’re maniac partners! Maniacs forever!”

  Then he raised the mile-long needle again. “Now stand still, Richard. This will only hurt for a second.”

  I tried to back up. Behind me, I saw Dr. Maniac and the Purple Rage watching from the door to the back office. They both moved forward to keep me from escaping Dr. Root.

  “Leave him alone!” Bree screamed at the huge doctor. “Leave Richard alone!”

  But his tiny black eyes locked onto me, and he raised the needle higher.

  Panic made my legs buckle. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

  And then I sneezed.

  I gasped in surprise as the sneeze blew the needle right out of Root’s chubby hand.

  The needle flew into the air, then fell and bounced on the carpet.

  The big man bent down to grab it — and I sneezed again. A powerful jet blast of a sneeze.

  It sent Dr. Root slamming backward into the wall. He hit so hard, the whole office shook. He sank to the floor like a dead whale and didn’t move.

  My sneezes are like explosions here, I realized. Have I found my superpower?

  “This KICKS my KIELBASA!” the Purple Rage screamed. Roaring angrily, he lowered his head and came running at me.

  I let out a super-sneeze and sent him flying backward across the room. He landed on his back on the desk. The Scarlet Starlet screamed and jumped to her feet.

  Dr. Maniac opened his mouth in a crazy, high-pitched giggle. His eyes rolled in his head. He tossed back his cape and flew across the room, hands outstretched to grab me.

  I sneezed so hard, I nearly knocked myself over. Maniac gasped as my sneeze blew his hair straight up in the air. I sneezed again and sent him crashing against the wall.

  “Run!” I cried to Ernie and Bree. “Go! Go! I’ll hold them here with my super-sneezes.”

  They both took off.

  Shaking his head, Maniac pulled himself to his feet. He looked dazed. He turned angrily to the Scarlet
Starlet. “Why aren’t you helping us?” he cried.

  She raised both hands and wiggled her fingers. “I’m waiting for my nails to dry.”

  “That’s CRAZY!” he shrieked. “Don’t you see we have a PROBLEM here?”

  “Don’t shout at me, Maniac,” she replied coldly. “I’m a star!”

  I turned and saw Ernie and Bree rocket out the door.

  Dr. Root groaned. But he was still knocked out.

  Maniac pulled the Rage to his feet. He dragged the Starlet beside him. The three of them were lining up, preparing an all-or-nothing attack.

  Yes, I was outnumbered. But I had an awesome weapon.

  I scratched my nose, making sure it was ready.

  “Know what PIPS my PIPE?” the Rage screamed. “You actually think you can beat us.”

  Dr. Maniac giggled. “No way you can win, Richard. You’re only a wimpy kid with bad allergies.”

  “Wrong,” I said. “I’m a wimpy kid with super-sneeze powers!”

  “He has a certain star quality,” the Scarlet Starlet said. “He really should talk to my agent.”

  The Rage growled at her. “Shut up and attack him. Come on — let’s go!”

  I didn’t give them a chance to move.

  I sucked in a deep breath — and sneezed as hard as I could.

  The mighty blast sent all three of them crashing into the wall. They hit hard and cracked right through the plaster, into the back office.

  Wow! This is fun! Seriously!

  I spun around and darted to the door. I pushed it open and ran outside. Into bright daylight.

  Where are Bree and Ernie? I wondered. Can we get back to the real world?

  Blinking in the sudden bright light, it took me a moment to see the crowd. The crazy crowd, running, flying, leaping around, fighting and shouting.

  “Whoa! What is going on?” I shouted.

  I stared up and down the crowded city block. My mouth dropped open in shock.

  Superheroes fought on rooftops and sidewalks. Wildly-costumed men and women swung from ropes and slid along webs. Characters flew overhead, their shadows trailing under them on the street.