Becoming a Legend

by Sarah Robinson

  “So now you’re giving others the means to chase their dreams,” Nora filled in.

  Kane took the last bite of his food. “Something like that, I guess.”

  “I think I was wrong about you when we first met.”

  That seemed to get his interest. “Oh yeah? How so?”

  “I just thought you were a shallow player,” Nora said with a one-shouldered shrug.

  Kane chuckled halfheartedly. “Gee, thanks.”

  “But,” she emphasized, squeezing his forearm again as she leaned forward and left a small kiss on his cheek, “I was wrong.”

  “Go on…” he teased, returning her kisses with little pecks to the corners of her lips. He pulled her onto his lap.

  Nora’s arms circled his neck as they traded small kisses in between her words. She could really see this; she could really see his being a regular feature in her life. She imagined her mornings with him, laughing with him, loving him…it felt so good. It felt real, they felt so real, despite the purely casual labels they’d attached to their relationship. “The guy I’ve gotten to know is kind. He helps people, protects and cares for others. He’s ambitious and dedicated. He picks up delicious breakfast burritos, orders yummy pizza, watches my shows with me…”

  Kane nipped at her bottom lip, smiling as their eyes locked. “To be fair, SVU is everyone’s favorite show, but go on.”

  “And last, but definitely not least…” she said, nipping his lip back. “He’s going to take me into the bedroom right now to…”

  She didn’t even need to finish that sentence before he had lifted her against his chest and was carrying her into the hall. Nora laughed and held on to his shoulders, even though she knew he’d never drop her. In fact, it was one of her favorite things about him. She’d always been small—not particularly skinny but definitely short. However, she’d never before been involved with a man who so easily and so literally whisked her off her feet. It was a wonderful feeling to be held by the man she cared about so—

  Knock knock knock!

  Chapter 12

  Kane groaned at the interruption. “Damn it.”

  “Um…I’m not expecting anyone.” Nora frowned as he lowered her to the carpeted floor. A few minutes later, they would have been tangled in the sheets and never heard the door at all.

  “It’s fine, kitty.” He kissed her temple. “You answer it. I need a second to walk this off.”

  Nora smiled at the way his pants jutted out from the front of his body. “Oh.”

  As soon as he was safely in the bedroom, she glanced through the peephole just as the person pounded again.

  Knock knock knock.

  “All right, all right,” she said with a sigh, then unlocked and opened her front door.

  “For fuck’s sake, keep me waiting long enough?” Her mother waddled into the room without waiting for an invitation. Short blond hair that needed to be combed framed her face, and her figure was as plump as ever. Nora figured she was at least eating okay. “Got some coffee brewing, Nora? Your mama could really use a cup.”

  “Mom? What are you doing here?” Nora winced at the shrillness in her own voice, but she couldn’t help it.

  “I need an excuse to see my only child?” Her mother was opening drawers and cabinets in the kitchen, looking around for God knows what. “How about a Good to see you, Mom or I missed you, Mom?”

  “I didn’t even know where you went,” Nora hissed, lowering her voice and glancing toward the bedroom. “You just up and left me to deal with your bookie! I can’t reach you for months, and now you just stroll back in here?”

  “Nora, honey, calm down. It’s not that serious,” her mother assured her, waving a dismissive hand as she opened the fridge. “Oh, nice. A full fridge. Doing well for yourself, I see.”

  Nora frowned as her mom pulled out some bread and cold cuts to make a sandwich. Grabbing the handle, Nora opened the fridge wider and realized that the fridge—which had held only ketchup and an onion last night—was now full of groceries.

  “Oh, a…friend went shopping for me.” Despite her irritation, Nora couldn’t help but smile at the thought that Kane must have done this while she had been sleeping.

  “Is that your friend?” Her mother pointed toward the kitchen doorway as Kane walked in, the issue with his pants having subsided. Her mother grabbed her arm and squeezed. “Oh, honey, I hope you’re more than friends.”

  Nora blushed and went to stand next to Kane. “Kane, this is my mother, Marie. Mother, this is my…Kane.”

  Kane laughed at her awkward introduction, then extended a hand to her mother. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Hannigan. I’m Nora’s Kane.”

  Her mother shook Kane’s hand, a sly smile on her face. “Oh, the pleasure is all mine. Call me Marie. Mrs. Hannigan was my mother-in-law, and I hated that bitch.”

  “Mom!” Nora groaned. “Can you please not call Grandma names?”

  “Why? It won’t hurt her feelings. She’s dead.”

  Kane’s brows were raised when Nora looked at him and mouthed sorry. He didn’t seem to mind, though, because he was clearly doing his best not to laugh.

  “Where are you staying, Mom?”

  “I’ve got a date with this new guy I met at the track. He looks loaded, so I’ll stay with him.”

  Nora rolled her eyes. “Great. Well, I have to go to work, so…it was nice seeing you.”

  “Don’t try to shoo me out of here that fast, Nora. I’m still your mother.” Marie finished making her sandwich and took a bite. “And we need to talk about the…you know.” Marie looked sideways at Kane, who quickly got the hint.

  “I’ll be in the other room.” He squeezed Nora’s hand before he left them alone, and she wondered what he thought about the morning after their second night together turning into a meet-the-parents event. And her mother was not the typical mother. Or even a mother at all.

  Marie spoke first, motioning toward the door through which Kane had just walked. “He’s a looker. Good catch, girl.”

  Nora didn’t reply, instead crossing her arms over her chest and staring back at her.

  “Okay, listen, I know I’ve been out of touch, but you know how I am. I was just busy enjoying life,” her mother said with all the maturity of a teenager. She stepped forward and pulled Nora into an awkward hug.

  At first, Nora resisted, trying to stand stoically, but…this was her mother hugging her. And that was really all she’d ever wanted from her.

  It felt so good that she let her defenses melt ever so slightly. Hugging Marie back, she allowed herself to enjoy feeling her mother’s love for a moment…even if maybe that’s all it was. A feeling. And probably a one-sided feeling, at that.

  “I’m sorry you’re upset, Nora. I promise, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” her mother said, repeating words Nora had heard a million times before as they pulled apart.

  As Marie’s hands touched Nora’s cheeks, wiping away tears she’d had no idea she was shedding, Nora blinked more back.

  “Please, forgive me, Nora. You know you’re my everything. You know I love you, baby girl.”

  Nora nodded slowly. She loves me? Please…love me.

  “It’s okay. I’m not mad,” Nora told her, calming down and attempting a smile.

  Marie clapped her hands together happily and then picked up her abandoned sandwich and took another bite. “Wonderful. I can’t have my little girl mad at me. So tell your mother what’s been happening. How’s school? How’s the new man? He treats you well?”

  “He’s not my new man, but he is very sweet,” Nora clarified, hoping Kane wasn’t listening in from the other room. “School is okay.”

  “Just okay? My little honor scholar is just okay?” The concern on her mother’s face actually appeared genuine, so Nora ventured to open up a little further.

  “My grades slipped a bit. I’ve been working so much trying to keep up with the payments to your bookie. Now that you’re back, though, I don’t have to, right?”

&nb
sp; Marie finished her sandwich slowly, not answering immediately and definitely avoiding eye contact.

  “Mom, right?” Nora repeated. Please…act like you love me.

  “Baby girl, here’s the thing about that…” Marie started, slowing putting the bread and cold cuts back into the fridge. “I can’t. Actually, I need a loan.”

  “What?” Nora shouted, then glanced toward the doorway and lowered her voice, speaking through a clenched jaw. “It’s your gambling debt, Mom. Not mine. I just told you I’m up to my ears trying to keep up with the payments, and now you want more?”

  “Baby girl, baby girl, calm down,” Marie soothed her, giving her a smile. “It’s just a little loan. I’ll pay back the other one soon. I just didn’t do so hot at the track this week. I need to pay this guy off, and then I can go back to paying the other one.”

  “This is insane!” Nora hissed.

  “Oh, but Nora, you’re doing such a good job. I’m so proud of you. Going to school, working hard, helping your mama—it’s amazing, Nora.” Marie pushed a few curls off Nora’s face and tucked them behind her ear. “Don’t you think you can help your mama out just a little bit more? After all I gave up to raise you, all the years I kept you fed and clothed? Don’t I deserve to be taken care of a bit just like I took care of you? It’s only a little longer, and I swear this is the last time. After how bad this last loss was, I’m off it for good! I don’t want to see another pony as long as I’m alive!”

  Nora searched her mother’s smiling face, wishing that was true, but knowing in her gut that it wasn’t. “Mom…”

  “I know, baby girl, I know. I’ve said it before. This time, I’m serious. I met this new guy, and we’re going to start a new life together. He doesn’t want me gambling, either, so I promised him I’d stop.”

  “What about all the times I’ve asked you to stop?” Nora said, her voice sounding weak and far away…childlike. What about me, Mama?

  “Nora, you know you’re always my number one. I love you, baby girl.” Marie had one hand on each of Nora’s shoulders, squeezing affectionately. “Do you love your mama?”

  “Of course I do, Mom. I just don’t have any money…”

  Marie gave her a small smile and tilted her head. “Not even a little bit? You know things are tough for me right now, baby girl. All those scary people wanting their money. I’d hate for something to happen to me. Do you really want to risk that for a few dollars?”

  The words stung, but the way she said it was so soft, her voice lilting and melodic. Nora would have done anything she asked. She always had. Please, Mom…

  “I’ve got tips from last night,” Nora finally admitted.

  “Yes! Thank you, Nora. You’re a lifesaver.” Marie clapped her hands, picked up the jacket she’d thrown onto the table, and pulled it back on. “Be a sweetie and go grab it for your mama, will you?”

  Nora nodded and headed for the living room, where she’d left her purse the night before. Kane was standing next to the couch, a stricken look on his face. He seemed not to know whether to sit down or rush toward her.

  “Nora, I—” he started.

  “I just need to grab something out of my purse. She’ll be gone in a minute.”

  He was silent as she found her wallet and inspected her cash, trying to decide if she should give it all to Marie. Her own bills were piling up, so she did need at least some of it. Actually, she needed all of it.

  “Nora, I heard the whole thing,” he said quietly.

  Refusing to look up at him, she pulled the cash from her wallet. She should have known. It was a super-small apartment. There was really nowhere in here he could have gone and not heard them.

  “Nora, look at me.” He grabbed her arm as she started to head back to the kitchen. “You don’t need to do this. It isn’t right.”

  She shook him off, keeping her eyes on the ground. If she caught one glimpse of what she was sure would be sympathy on his face, she’d cry. And she just couldn’t do that right now. Not in front of Marie, and definitely not in front of Kane. “It’s fine, Kane.”

  “It’s not. At all.” The pain in his voice surprised her, and guilt crashed over her for holding back. “Nora, please. Don’t.”

  “Kane, please.” Nora looked up at him, setting her jaw and doing her best to look confident. Her voice sounded harsher than she meant for it to, but she didn’t stop. “I know what I’m doing. Honestly, this just isn’t any of your business.”

  His voice dropped, and there was a gentleness to his next words. “Everything about you is my business, Nora.”

  Her brain screamed at her to stop—walk away—but weeks of pent-up frustration, desire, and rejection swirled inside her, threatening to blow. “Since when, Kane? We’re not dating. You’ve made that very clear several times.”

  His face hardened, and his eyes flamed with anger and…hurt? Nora’s mouth parted as she wished she could go back in time, wished they could return to when they’d been happily wrapped around each other in bed. Kane’s blue eyes grew darker, pained, and the relief she’d felt in her moment of blunt honesty was gone.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that,” Nora said, trying to backtrack but unsure how to go about it. “I’m just frustrated with my mom. This isn’t about us.”

  “Maybe not, but I think you did mean it, and I think it needed to be said,” Kane replied, his Adam’s apple bopping up and down in his throat as he swallowed hard. “In fact, you’re right. We’re not dating, and I don’t have a right to tell you how to live your life.”

  He agrees with me? Nora’s own words felt like daggers when they were pointed back at her, and guilt flooded her stomach at the realization. Part of her had wanted him to tell her off, to tell her she was wrong, that he wanted her, and that he wanted to be with her. Some childish part of her had wanted that white-knight moment, when he’d drop everything for her and sweep her off her feet.

  But nothing was ever that easy, because as much as she wanted that…she also didn’t.

  Kane cleared his throat and continued, “But if I can at least ask you a favor, as someone who does care about you…in my own way…please, don’t give her that money, Nora.”

  Nora looked down at her feet and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She shook her head slowly. “I don’t have a choice.”

  “You do.” Kane grabbed the cash out of her hands and shoved it back into her purse. Before she could protest, he pulled out his own wallet and withdrew a stack of bills thicker than she’d ever seen. “Use that.”

  “I can’t use your money, Kane.” She tried to hand it back, but he wouldn’t take it.

  “Why not? She can use yours. If you want to encourage her behavior, then you might as well be like her and take from other people, too.”

  Nora gasped, his words like a slap across her face.

  His expression dared her to dispute his statement, and she felt her blood boiling at his arrogance. He had no idea what her life was like, what she’d been through, what her mother was like. Tears pricked her eyes as her whole body started to shake.

  “I can’t believe you’d say that to me.” Her words came out in a whisper.

  “Nora, I’m sorry.” Kane shook his head. “That was cruel; I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just trying to show you how ridiculous this is. You don’t owe her anything.”

  She was silent as she tossed his cash onto the couch next to him. He glanced down at the scattered bills but didn’t pick them up. Nora grabbed her own tips out of her purse again, and turned on her heels for the kitchen with it.

  “Nora, please,” Kane started, grabbing her elbow.

  She shook him off, looking straight at him with tear-filled eyes. “Let. Go.”

  He swallowed hard, then nodded. His fingers released her arm, and the look of rejection on his face almost hurt her…almost. They’d reached a point of no return—things said that they couldn’t take back. And maybe shouldn’t.

  But she didn’t have time to dwell on that at the mom
ent. Nora wiped the tears from her eyes and returned to the kitchen with her cash. “Here, Mom,” she said, thrusting the cash toward her.

  Her mother’s face lit up. “Oh, baby girl, thank you. This is going to help your mama so much!” She took the cash and counted it—her eyes round and excited—before pocketing it. “I’ve got to get running, but we’ll talk soon. Okay?”

  Please, love me, Mama. “Okay.”

  Marie kissed her cheek and gave her a tiny hug before leaving the apartment.

  Nora didn’t move. She stood in the kitchen, her arms folded across her chest, and stared at the kitchen counter, which was now covered in bread crumbs. She balled her hands into fists, relishing the pain she felt in her injured hand at the motion. Her whole body was tense, ready to explode with screams or tears—she wasn’t sure which.

  The floor creaked behind her. “I know what I said was harsh, kitty. I’m so sorry.”

  His voice was soft and sad, and she heard his regret. But she couldn’t go there right now. It was all too much, and adding one more thing to her plate was sure to break her.

  “Kane, stop.” She turned to face him, her hand up between them.

  He nodded but stayed silent where he stood about a foot away from her.

  “We have two choices,” she continued. “Either we can talk about us, or we can talk about my mom.” She just couldn’t do both. Her heart was shattering into a million pieces after her mother’s rejection, and she needed him. She needed him, right now. “If we talk about us, like really talk about us, I don’t think there will be an us.”

  Kane rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Nora—”

  “I’m asking for a little more time, Kane,” she broke in. “We’ve both said things we shouldn’t have. Let’s just move past that and live in our bubble for a little while longer…please. I need you right now.” Nora motioned toward the front door, through which her mother had just departed. “I need someone right now, and I’m asking you to be that person.”

  Kane didn’t hesitate; he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. She pressed herself against his chest and exhaled for the first time since her mother had arrived. Tears she could no longer fight slid down her cheeks and onto his shirt.