The Adventures of Splot, the Floating Pink Blob

by David Cathrine

  After Florian had successfully tossed his flute at the Octoboss, it hit its target and fell straight into the water.

  ‘That didn’t quite go accordion to plan,’ Florian sighed as he tried to think of a way to get his flute back. ‘I guess flutes don’t work like boomerangs do. Suppose I might as well put my jumping skills to the test. Boing!’

  ‘Oh, so he’s trying to jump onto my head?’ the Octoboss pondered as he began to get his tentacles ready to trap Florian.

  ‘Darn it!’ Florian moaned as he got trapped in between some of the Octoboss’ tentacles. ‘I’ve been ensnared!’

  ‘You will never escape now!’ the Octoboss laughed as he stared at Florian. ‘I believe this counts as a hit.’

  ‘Oh yeah?’ Florian retorted. ‘Well I just so happen to know how to get out of this mess! Okay, I can just see my flute…’

  ‘What are you doing?’ the Octoboss questioned Florian as he noticed him sticking out his tongue and aiming it towards the water.

  ‘That flute is mine!’ Florian stated as his tongue elongated itself towards the flute, and then wrapped itself around it to drag it back towards him. ‘Now take this! Hi-yah!’

  ‘Oww!!!’ the Octoboss yelled in agony as Florian swung his flute at him using his tongue. ‘That smarts!’

  ‘Now we’ve both hit each other twice,’ Florian reported as he freed himself from the Octoboss’ clutches and landed on a lily pad. ‘This is it. It’s all or nothing!’

  ‘All I’ll need is one tentacle to finish you off!’ the Octoboss proclaimed as he began to attack Florian with one of his tentacles.

  ‘You wish!’ Florian retaliated as he immediately grabbed onto the Octoboss’ tentacle, and then swung him round. ‘Wow! I’m strong! You’re no lightweight!’

  ‘So, I actually lost against a frog?’ the Octoboss uttered in a puzzled tone of voice as he recovered from his fall. ‘But that floating pink thing will also have to beat me as well if you want your pond back!’

  ‘Of course he can beat you!’ Florian retaliated. ‘He is a famous captain, after all.’

  ‘Yes, yes, and he sails the Royal Cake Splotannia, I know,’ the Octoboss acknowledged with a sigh.

  ‘Come to think of it, I didn’t notice Splot carrying any weapons with him,’ Florian thought as he looked at Splot. ‘Well, I suppose he doesn’t actually need to “hurt” the Octoboss. He just needs to “hit” him. So technically, that could be like a tap…’

  ‘What are you blabbering on about over there?’ the Octoboss questioned Florian in an impatient tone of voice. ‘I’m getting rather bored waiting here.’

  ‘It’s nothing,’ Florian responded. ‘Splot, go and get him!’

  ‘Go and get him, um, what?’ Splot queried Florian in a puzzled tone of voice.

  ‘Just fight him!’ Florian commanded in a firm tone of voice.

  ‘Good, the battle’s finally starting,’ the Octoboss said as he breathed a sigh of relief.

  With that, Splot began to float over towards the Octoboss.

  ****

  A few seconds later…

  ‘I see you are finally close enough to me to take this battle to the next level,’ the Octoboss observed as Splot reached him. ‘That is, I can finally dish out some pain! You will never get passed my tentacles!’

  ‘Hey, I know!’ Splot suddenly said to himself. ‘I can, um, hit him with water! Yay! Splash, splash!’

  ‘What the…?’ the Octoboss uttered in a confused tone of voice as he noticed water heading straight for his eyes. ‘Darn! I can’t see anything!’

  ‘Whack!’ Splot said as he struck the Octoboss with his hat. ‘Is that, um, two hits?’

  ‘Wow, he’s skilled!’ Florian said in a surprised tone of voice. ‘Or maybe the Octoboss is too worn out from our battle…’

  ‘Now to unleash my spinning tentacles attack!’ the Octoboss stated as he began to spin around and around.

  ‘Help me!!!’ Splot screamed in a worried tone of voice as he began to fly into the air due to the impact of the tentacles. ‘Oh, um, wait! My hat goes off to, um, you, Mr. Octoboss!’

  ‘Huh?’ the Octoboss said as he stopped spinning. ‘Is that a hat flying towards me?’

  It wasn’t long before Splot’s hat slammed into the Octoboss’ face, causing him to be hit thrice.

  ‘And the winner is Splot!’ Florian reported as Splot began to put his hat back on. ‘That means the pond’s mine again!’

  ‘Fine!’ the Octoboss acknowledged in a depressed tone of voice. ‘There’s just one thing I need to tell you before I leave: I’m not Mr. Octoboss! I’m Captain Octoboss!’

  ‘Yeah, well,’ Florian began to say, ‘if you ever try to steal my pond again, then I’ll need to give you a stern talking to, Captain Octoboss! Now, give me that treasure!’

  ‘Take your stupid loot!’ the Octoboss yelled in an infuriating tone of voice as he tossed all the treasure towards Florian. ‘I’ll go somewhere else now!’

  ‘Well, he’s gone now,’ Florian stated as he turned to face Splot. ‘So, now it’s every man for himself in this great game in which you pick up fallen treasure! Starting…Now!’

  ‘Yay!’ Splot screamed in delight as he began floating around picking up as much treasure as he could. ‘I love treasure because it’s shiny!’

  ****

  Eventually, after a while of picking up treasure, they had picked up all of it.

  ‘Well, that’s that,’ Florian reported as he began to sit down on the island. ‘You know what, I could pretty much live on this little island. I could just sleep in that little treasure chest over there after I put some leaves or something inside to make it warmer. Yep, I’ve got my future all planned out now. You should probably head back, Splot. You’ve had a big day. I might go and get some croaka-cola though, just because I sometimes get bored of drinking water every day.’

  ‘I’ll be off, um, then,’ Splot said as he began to head back to Sage-ittarius’ herb garden.

  ‘It feels like I’m forgetting something,’ Florian mused as he watched Splot heading back to the secret cavern that leads back to Felinburg. ‘Oh, that’s it! I was going to ask him why he said “um” all the time! Oh well, I’m sure I’ll live. It is slightly frustrating though, seeing as I’ll probably be pondering over that for ages now…’

  ****

  After several hours of floating over the same rough terrain as he floated over on his journey to Felinburg, Splot eventually arrived back at Sage-ittarius’ herb garden, and standing there greeting him was Sage-ittarius himself.

  ‘How was the treasure hunt, young Splot?’ Sage-ittarius queried Splot as he floated over to him.

  ‘Um, good question,’ Splot responded in a confused tone of voice. ‘Well, it wasn’t really, um, much of a treasure hunt, as it was an, um, battle against an octopus.’

  ‘Maybe the treasure hunt was merely a trap,’ Sage-ittarius mused as he stared at Splot. ‘Which begs the question: Why did I get a letter about it?’

  ‘Maybe Florian wanted, um, help,’ Splot suggested. ‘However, maybe he, um, didn’t want anyone to know it was him who wanted the help.’

  ‘A most genius suggestion, young Splot!’ Sage-ittarius agreed. ‘Who’s Florian?’

  ‘This frog I, um, met who wanted his pond back.’

  ‘I seed, I seed. Although, you do appear to have brought back some treasure, so lettuce celebrate with tea and biscuits!’

  ‘Yes, let us celebrate!’

  With that, they celebrated the rest of the day away.

  ****

  Splot, the Floating Pink Ninja

  ‘Come hither, young Splot!’ a certain wise sage with a grey moustache and a brown walking stick, and who certainly looked like he was showing his age uttered in disgust as he finished reading a letter he had just received.

  ‘What is it, um, Sage-ittarius?’ Splot, the Floating Pink Blob queried the sage as he floated over towards him. ‘More, um, trouble again?�
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  ‘Yes, indeed,’ the wise sage responded with a sigh. ‘It appears as though someone (probably evil) has kidnapped a little girl (probably nice). You must hurry through Clamville. Somewhere near the other side is where the kidnapper is. I should know, he/she/it mentioned it in the letter.’

  ‘I’m on my way, oh wise one!’ Splot responded while quickly floating away towards the desired location.

  ****

  Meanwhile, in a place surrounded by snow…

  ‘Well, that was almost too easy…’ a light blue snowball with a blue and red scarf and who was holding a black shuriken proclaimed as he faced the girl who was wearing a cat costume, complete with tail and ears, a light blue t-shirt with a cat’s face on it, dark blue shorts and who had brown hair. ‘You did say you were a princess, right? That makes it even better! Just think how high my status as a full-fledged ninja will be! Just thinking about it makes me feel all cold inside! Oh, wait, I’m a snowball… Well, this calls for some much needed ice cream…’

  ‘Heeeelp meeee!!!’ The girl suddenly screamed as a weird knight-like figure suddenly snatched her away from the snowball’s sight.

  ‘Help yourself!!!’ the snowball responded in an annoyed tone of voice as he continued to eat his ice cream. ‘Well, that was rather delicious….Huh? Where’d that girl go? No way! This is not good! Some weird hero/ninja guy is coming to save her, and now there is no “her” to save! Hmmm…I still want to fight someone. What should I do? Think, Sebastian, think…’

  ****

  After several hours of floating over some pretty rough terrain, which had absolutely no effect on our current hero, Splot, he eventually arrived at what seemed like the South Pole, but was, in fact, just a place with lots of snow.

  ‘Oh, no!’ Splot screamed in alarm. ‘I forgot to bring my, um, sledge! Now what do I do if I see a hill to slide down?’

  ‘Try sliding on one of these!’ Sebastian yelled as he threw a shuriken towards Splot, barely missing.

  ‘Hey, cool!’ Splot screamed in delight as he went to pick up the shuriken that had fallen beside him. ‘It’s a cool star-shaped thingymarobert!’

  ‘It’s called a shuriken!’ Sebastian corrected Splot in a serious tone of voice. ‘Also known as a ninja star!’

  ‘Um, okay,’ Splot acknowledged as he gazed at the shuriken. ‘Now, um, why did I come here again? Oh, yeah! Unhand her, you vile….Wait! Where, um, is she?’

  ‘Ah, so you are the one who answered my letter!’ Sebastian answered as he stared at Splot. ‘The girl you speak of is currently being held deep under this very snow! It acts as a sort of prison cell, you see? So, what is your name, pink blobby thing? I am Sebastian, the Shinobi Snowball!’

  ‘I am Splot, the Floating Pink Blob!’ Splot responded with a smile. ‘And I just like saying “um” all the time…’

  ‘Fool!’ Sebastian quickly yelled in anger. ‘I never questioned your usage of the word “um”. I was about to, though, so thanks, I guess. Anyway, to save your fair maiden, you must defeat me in battle! And yes, I am indeed tougher than I look! You may attack first, just because I’m feeling somewhat generous today.’

  ‘Okay, hiya!’ Splot uttered as he threw the shuriken at Sebastian. ‘Huh?’

  At that moment, Splot noticed that Sebastian had suddenly disappeared.

  ‘Man, I wish my cave of icicle mirrors was ready…’ Sebastian mused as he hid under the snow. ‘If this keeps up, the battle will just be too dull! I have to think of a way to have a ball while cooling off. I guess I could always use “that” move…’

  As Splot was floating over to pick up his shuriken, he noticed a slight nip in the air.

  ‘It’s so, u-u-u-um cold!’ Splot said while quivering. ‘Oh, no! There’s a huge, um, blizzard! I didn’t bring my winter, um, woollies! What should I do?’

  ‘You could always prepare to lose!’ Sebastian suggested as he stared at Splot from within his hiding place. ‘Wait a minute! I just spoke out loud, didn’t I? What if he’s the type of ninja who has super good hearing? I could be doomed! Think, Sebastian, think…’

  ‘Um, hiya!’ Splot shouted as he threw his shuriken towards Sebastian’s general direction.

  ‘I still can’t think of anything!’ Sebastian yelled in anger as he continued to ponder with his eyes closed. ‘Sebastian, you are rather lame today, aren’t you?’

  ****

  A few seconds later…

  ‘…Ouch!’ Sebastian yelled in pain as he fell to towards the soft snow.

  ‘I, um, got him!’ Splot screamed with delight as he began to float towards the fallen snowball. ‘Um, Sebastian? Can your captive breathe under all that, um, snow?’

  ‘Hmmm…’ Sebastian thought as he pondered Splot’s question. ‘Yes. Fair maidens have that kind of special gift of being able to breathe beneath the snow.’

  ‘Really?’ Splot asked Sebastian in a curious tone of voice.

  ‘Sure, why not?’ Sebastian replied in a sarcastic tone of voice.

  ‘Can I, um, rescue her now?’ Splot queried Sebastian.

  ‘Go right ahead!’ Sebastian stated as Splot began to search for the fair maiden.

  ****

  After a while of continuous digging, Splot suddenly discovered something under the snow.

  ‘Oh, no!’ Splot screamed as he began to cry tears of woe. ‘I took too long, um, fighting Sebastian, so she turned into an, um, pillow! I wasn’t fast enough!’

  ‘Fool!’ Sebastian shouted as he looked at Splot hugging the pillow with tears trickling down on it. ‘That isn’t your fair maiden! Someone took her before our battle even began, so I had to improvise. Try searching in that castle over there! You never know, she might be in there. Farewell, young ninja!’

  ‘I am coming for you, my, um, fair maiden!’ Splot shouted with happiness as he began to head towards the castle.

  To be continued…

  ###

  About the Author

  David Cathrine was born in Edinburgh in 1986. He studied Visual Communication - New Media at Edinburgh’s Telford College and he uses the skills and knowledge gained there to help him illustrate some of his books. His other works include “Pegasus Dave of the West”, “A Fishy Tail”, “Bob Piercem’s Perplexing Quest” and “The Year of the Snakes”.

  Connect With Me Online

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/#!/Sireef

  Email: bilbocathrine@hotmail.com