Sahara

by Oscar Luis Rigiroli

  “Country plagued by political, economic and social problems, all because of our transgressions, corruption and rebellions.”

  “But that is a haven for those arriving wounded, which opens up generously to those who arrive at its shores.” Added Charfadine “I can attest it through my own experience.”

  The girl kept surprising her sister and husband with her interventions, which her usual low profile and discreet attitude did not allow to foresee.

  The discussion ended and Cristian smiled; a debate of this kind it was not common in most households that he remembered. He stretched out on the couch under his son weight, closed his eyes and was carried away feeling how joy filled his senses. Zoubaida had brought a notebook to connect with the French newspapers on the Internet thanks to the hotel WiFi. From the device emerged the sound of Ne me quitte pas, song by Celine Dion.

  Tout peut s’oublier

  Qui s’enfuit déjà

  Oublier le temps des malentendus

  Et le temps perdu

  CHAPTER 19

  Zoubaida had been all afternoon working with her notebook and suffered from eyestrain. She had already been using lenses in the last six months to correct an incipient presbyopia. She leaned meditative over the back of the chair.

  “Well, well. Let´s see how do I tell them this?” She wondered. Her restless mind immediately began to evaluate alternative courses of action. She had already detected before in her the same signs of fatigue and the question came up ever more frequently.

  “What would happen if I send all this to hell and dedicate myself to my family whose best years I am missing? I have everything to a woman of my age may want and I am always behind a mirage that recedes as I progress. My function gives me momentary satisfaction but deprives me of the maximum bonuses that my heart longs for. What if I say no? How would my father react? Who else could most play my role? How would my family work if I was present all the time? And finally, but only finally, how would I feel?”

  She decided not to discuss with her husband and sister the contents of the e-mail that she had just received from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Cooperation of the Republic of Chad, until she had her own thoughts clear. The current Minister was her teacher and mentor during her studies in France and knew well her capacity and resolution. If she accepted it would not be a leap into the void, but the costs of an affirmative decision were predictable.

  She heard that someone was opening the door; a quick glance at the clock told her that it was Cristian returning from his job. She closed the mail, shut off the computer and closed the lid to keep the problem away. She then got up and approached the door to greet her husband. Hubert was already in front of the door pointing at it with the index finger while he mumbled.

  “Dad.”.

  Zoubaida´s heart squeezed but she shook her head and forced a smile. At that time the man entered the house.

  Cristian had already gone to work and Charfadine to the Faculty. Zoubaida had just finished changing Hubert, who had immediately gone to play in the small courtyard of their house, where his parents were convinced that there was no risk. The fixed telephone connected last week rang and its bell startled the woman, who rarely had heard it sound. Great was her surprise as she heard that at the other end was her mother Souady.

  “Oui, maman, how are you? I see that you have received the message with my new phone number.

  “And I prefer to call you to a regular phone, I don´t trust cell phones at all.”

  They were exchanging information on the status of the family in one and another side, and finally, Souady unveiled the true purpose of her call.

  “Ma chère fille. The proposal that the Ministry of Foreign Affairs made you has reached my ears.”

  “I wonder how you know about it. It is assumed to be confidential and is also very recent.”

  “No matter how, the fact is that I learned. I hope your father will never hear about this call.”

  “Well, you've captured my attention. What is all this mystery about?”

  “That I wish to give you my opinion... rather, my mother's plea.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Declines the offer. Do not put your career before your family or you will make everybody unhappy.”

  A strong wave of uneasiness invaded Zoubaida, usually so self-confident, but her mother had touched a sensitive nerve that was aching from the day before.

  The woman tried to calm her mother assuring her that she would do what she considered the best for the family, but without making specific commitments about her final decision. When they cut the communication Souady was more concerned than at the beginning.

  The infighting that Zoubaida was going through deepened. Her mother involvement had highlighted the implications that her decision was to have for several people, precisely the ones she really cared about. By her training during long years she was used to act with determination in serious questions concerning her people, but in general the aspects in conflict were evident, the identity and interests of each party were crystal clear and also where the good for her people resided. But now there was a conflict, a clear contrast of needs and aspirations of her family, her ethnicity and her own, and inevitably to its decision, there would be winners and net losers among the people she loved. Even though she squeezed her brains there were no intermediate or compromise solutions that would leave all parties happy and all needs satisfied. She realized she was facing a trade-off, moreover, a dilemma.

  For several days Zoubaida was irritable, sleepless and elusive. The others noticed it and adopted various reactions. Hubert cried more than usual, Charfadine usually attentive and friendly with her was now dodging her, and Cristian tried several times to gain her confidence in vain.

  One of so many nights in white finally took his determination. She felt a twinge in her belly, but then it relented and she got finally sleep.

  In the afternoon the next day, when everyone had returned to their duties, Zoubaida called a meeting by announcing that he had something important to communicate.

  Hubert was asleep and all were sipping a cup of coffee. Finally Cristian said directly.

  “Zoubaida, We are all awaiting your words. Please tell us what you have to say at once.”

  “Well, I will explain to you the dilemma I have facing in these days, and that, as all of you have noticed has eaten me internally.”

  She made a stop, sipped her coffee to clarify her voice and continued speaking without hesitation.

  “The Minister of Foreign Affairs and Cooperation of Chad on behalf of the Government has made me an offer extremely attractive offer.” She made another stop, choosing the words to continue, amid the absolute silence.

  “It’s the post of Deputy Minister in charge of International Economic Relations of the Republic of Chad.”

  Cristian choked and coughed, Charfadine looked down.

  “It is the highest position ever achieved by a woman in Chad, or for that matter in the central region of Africa. Logically it is a position based in N'Djamena, but with many possibilities for trips.”

  The silence became deeper making it difficult for her to go on with her exposure.

  “And well, what have you answered.” Asked eventually Cristian.

  “I have put as a condition to take all of you with me to N´Djamena. I have also asked -and am sure I will obtain it- a position in the same Ministry for you, Charfadine.”

  “But what was your decision?” Insisted Cristian in an unusually hard tone.

  “Before communicating it to the Ministry I need to know your response to this offering to come with me.”

  Cristian stirred in his chair, took his head between his hands, and then looked at Charfadine. The situation did not require words; the girl had in her hands a decision which would have consequences for the whole family.

  Charfadine raised her view and looked at sister and her husband with a firm gesture.

  "I'm prepared to say what I will do. In reality I always knew t
hat this situation would eventually occur, knowing Zoubaida´s conditions your character. I have no doubt that Chad does not have a person more prepared than you for that position, to represent it throughout the world. I think that you cannot avoid following your star wherever it takes you.”

  Now it was her turn to make an ominous silence. Cristian followed her words with anguish on his face.

  “But I also have the right to search my destiny and I firmly believe that it is in this country.”

  Cristian jump of his chair and silently began to make strides around the room, in order to balance tensions.

  “For the first time I have my own place, not only for being someone´s daughter or sister but for being myself in a large anonymous city where however I'm opening my space.” Continued Charfadine “The fact that nobody here knows or cares who my father or my sister is paradoxically becomes an advantage. No one has previous expectations about me, except of course the two of you and no one is not willing to give me advantages. Whatever I achieve, I will achieve it on my own, it will be my success or my failure and no one can take it away from me. Colleagues and friends who have approached me do not know that my father is a mighty man, and do not even know where is Chad. And since they are actually a gang of nonconformists and mavericks it is better that they do not know.”

  Charfadine made a new pause; she swallowed aware that perhaps for the first time in his life now she was the center of attention, looked at Cristian´s eyes and perceived a certain brightness that she interpreted as pride. But anyway it was no longer the others who determined her actions.

  “I will not leave this country.” She ended with a quiet voice and a serene gesture.

  Cristian did not speak. He was actually the only one who was not prepared to take a stand. Although it was clear in recent days that Zoubaida was incubating an important and difficult decision the young man had forced the issue out of his head, because of the excessive tension that caused him considering the possibilities.

  Now the options were clear. It was a partition of waters, the two women he loved were taking different paths in their lives and he had to decide which of these diverging rivers he would follow. There was no way to postpone the issue any more.

  Surprisingly, and as had happened before in his life, just by obtaining clarity on the alternatives the decision arose spontaneously in his mind. He stood up before the inquisitive eyes of Zoubaida and Charfadine and left the room in silence, with a hint of bitter taste in his mouth but with peace in the soul.

  CHAPTER 20

  Zoubaida began the preparations to return to Chad a month after having taken her decision. She transferred the functions she carried out from Buenos Aires to another Chadian citizen living in Washington DC. She ensured that her contacts in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Cooperation would be responsible for renting her an apartment in N'Djamena and for enrolling Hubert in the kindergarten of a French school in the city. Her mother sent one of her maids of confidence to clean and condition the housing, and should Zoubaida and the maid agree to stay to live with her and attend the family in the city, given the tight agenda that her daughter would have once in office.

  Cristian requested a leave without pay in his work and renewed his passport that was close to its expiry date; the visa issue was also resolved.

  Means were provided to send money to Charfadine from Chad, so that she could advance in her studies without the immediate need to work. In spite of this, the girl began tutoring French in order to achieve her economic independence. The house would continue to be registered for the time being at Zoubaida´s name until a final decision was taken, and the car was transferred to her sister.

  When the time arrived Charfadine drove Zoubaida, Cristian and Hubert in auto to the Ezeiza Airport to take their flight to Paris.

  While Zoubaida brought the boy to the bathroom to change his diapers, Charfadine and Cristian were alone in the waiting room Cristian gestured toward Zoubaida that already came out of the toilet. Charfadine approached her mouth to the ear of the man and whispered.

  “I am pregnant.”

  Cristian did not utter a word, while his cheeks blushed as was his characteristic.

  “Quickly! They are already calling to board “said Zoubaida in an urgent tone.

  The three travelers headed to the area of international shipments. Zoubaida was carrying Hubert, while Cristian hauled two suitcases and several packages. When they walked through the glass door and he turned his view towards Charfadine. The young woman, leaning on a guardrail was watching to one side with an absent look. an intense fire swept the viscera of the man, consequence of his internal tearing.

  When they arrived at the airport N'Djamena from Paris several dignitaries were expected them, including some uniformed. Immigration and customs formalities were overlooked, and within half an hour of arrival they were already aboard an official vehicle. They took them firstly to the hotel, where already Souady was waiting for them, excited about all the official protocol. There remained Cristian and Hubert, while Zoubaida was transported to a meeting with her friend the Minister and his entourage.

  She returned at seven in the evening, tired and hungry. During dinner she narrated her experiences during her first official day, before the rapt gaze of her mother and the caring attention of her husband.

  “.. .And after tomorrow I will officially assume my position. The President and his wife will be present as well as all the Ministers. I'd like that you both could come. I think that I can get the necessary permission. Hubert can stay with the maid, who knows how to deal with children.”

  The huge official Hall of the Government Palace was filled with officials of Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Cooperation and other areas of the Central Government.

  Zoubaida and her mother had reserved for the occasion their best ethnic attires; the future Deputy Minister was dazzling in broad layers that insinuating its silhouette.

  The President was an imposing individual, about sixty-five years old, dressed in a Western outfit. The Minister for Foreign Affairs was about forty years old and had athletic appearance. He greeted Zoubaida with a formal kiss on each cheek; Cristian recalled that he had been her coach during her studies and had thus a long relationship.

  Zoubaida swore vocalizing clearly despite the excitement that filled her. The President warmly greeted his new Deputy Minister, and as waiting for this gesture the crowd burst into applause. Despite his natural sobriety and detachment of pomp, a surge of pride also invaded Cristian, as Souady irrepressibly wept beside him.

  After the formal ceremony a cocktail party was held in which Zoubaida had the usual brightness. Her manners, her attire and her beauty turned her into the central character of the evening.

  Upon his return in the official car Souady did not stop pondering what happened.

  “This is a milestone for all women in Chad and our ethnic group in particular. None of its members had ever reached to a position at national level. I hope that your father can enjoy the film they have recorded.”

  Ousmar could not be present at the event because it overlapped with an important meeting with the remaining heads of the Sara ethnic group.

  “I hope that you can be in future events that surely will follow.” Said confident Zoubaida.

  “What most impacted me was the central role that you played at the cocktail.” Confided Cristian. “You became the luminary of the night being that you really have just arrived.”

  “Zoubaida has an education, a personality and a bearing that none of these politicians can match.” Replied Souady.

  “You speak as if you were my mother.” Said Zoubaida obviously pleased.

  “In any case I am struck for the good reception you have received.” “Insisted Cristian. “It does not match the image I have of the generosity of the politicians.”

  “What happens is that this country lacks natural leaders, and the Chadians are learning to recognize when one appears, even if it is a woman.” Argued Souady.

&nb
sp; “Maman, I think your interpretation is excessive.”

  “I guarantee it Zoubaida.” Souady´s excitation of the mother had no limits. “This is only a first step in your political career.”

  The phrase was ringing in the head of Cristian. Despite it came from a maternal obvious enthusiasm, no doubt it had a good rationale. Zoubaida was projected in a race with a distant goal where the fences would be higher.

  Two days later, Ousmar arrived at N'Djamena. He had traveled in a modern Mercedes Benz covered by the dust of the desert, but in good mood for having traveled enjoying the air conditioning.

  When he saw his father-in-law arriving Cristian was surprised to remember the old and precarious vehicles he had seen during his stay in the village barely a year and a half before, including the one with which they had escaped from the invasion.

  Before many witnesses of the event, Ousmar greeted his wife and his son-in-law in a rather cold and distant way, since he should preserve the authority associated with his current range. On the other hand was more effusive with his daughter and grandson, in view of her present status. His orthopedic hand could be hardly noticed and he used it naturally.

  However, once in family, the Chief gave vent to his joy and had words of encouragement for all. Cristian meditated on the odd duties and limitations associated with the nature of a public person, hiding emotions even if they were burning the entrails. His personality rejected this aspect of power.

  They were finally alone with Zoubaida and Hubert. The woman clung to his son and raised him despite his weight.

  “It has been a glorious day for you. Is it not true?” Asked Cristian.

  “It has been a very important day in truth, with a view to the future.” Said the woman with a sad smile. “But it also gives a pattern on how that future will be.”

  “And how will it be?”

  “Depersonalized. Pure representation.”

  “But you do not seem to dislike it. You have the conditions to succeed in it.”