A Royal Elopement
Page 22
Meredith
Of course she had to interrupt us! I thought as I stormed back the way I had come. The foliage slapped at my legs and I took out my frustrations on the overgrown vegetation that had the misfortune of getting in my way. Danika had once again come into my life and ruined everything. From the first moment I had laid eyes on that woman she had been causing me nothing but pain. I knew my ranting wasn’t fair, but jealousy and frustration were not rational emotions and I was just out of control enough to let them rage unchecked inside me.
I reached the steps at the entrance of the garden and jogged up them, stopping to take a deep breath at the top. I couldn’t go in and greet the queen with all this mess inside me. My mother and father were with Alyssa and I needed them to stay blissfully unaware of what was going on between Jamie and me. I needed to get all this stuff inside me under control and locked away tight.
But that kiss…kisses.
Oh my god! All this time I had convinced myself that it wasn’t as good as I remembered. I had tried to tell myself that it was just the silly, girlish feelings of a crush and that I had built it all up in my head to be better than it really was. Jamie had just run over all those protests and then backed up and run over them again. One touch of his lips on mine and I was lost. Completely and utterly lost to him.
I heard footsteps and voices as Jamie and Danika approached the stairs from the garden. I took off toward the palace. It was cowardly, I knew, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t see the two of them together and not feel like tearing the other woman’s throat out. I couldn’t bear to see their heads lowered together as they discussed the day to day running of the palace and whatever other business that they had to discuss. They shared confidences that I would never be part of and it hurt. Like, physically hurt. I rubbed at a spot on my chest as I took the stairs up to the back entrance to the palace.
I wanted it to be me who he shared those confidences with.
I stepped through the doors into chaos. Maids looked shell-shocked and footman were racing around but not achieving a damn thing. I knew all of Jamie’s staff were new. Anastas had dismissed all the original staff when he had stormed the palace and then as funds grew tight, the staff he had managed to employ and keep were slowly let go when he couldn’t afford to pay them. From what I could see, no one was in charge and the rest of them had no idea what do to.
With a deep sigh, I clapped my hands sharply, which caused everyone to stop and stare at me.
“What is going on?” I asked. They looked guiltily at one another before one of the older maids answered.
“The queen has arrived,” she said.
“And?”
The maid gave a quick look at the others before replying. “They want tea.”
I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. Seriously?
“Haven’t you served tea before?”
“Well, yes,” the maid answered, “but not to a queen and a prince and a duke and a duchess.”
“Right,” I said. “This is what you are going to do.”
I handed out instructions like I was taking point on a mission into enemy territory. I had grown up with being served tea, but I had never been the one to give directions before. I was surprised at just how much I knew. My mother’s lessons had obviously rubbed off on me despite my attempts to block them. I spent the next half an hour giving directions and spot checking everything before it went out to the sitting room. When sanity was restored and everyone was safely entrenched in their chores I looked up to see Freddie watching me.
“What?”
He shrugged and smiled as he straightened. “The queen would like to see you.”
I looked around and spotted Tonia, the maid who had been brave enough to speak up earlier. I waved her over. She sketched a quick curtsey when she reached us. “Yes, Ma’am?”
“Have you got everything under control?” I asked.
She nodded. I had promoted her to head maid so that she could oversee the others, that way I only had to show her how to do something and she could show the others so I could turn my attention to the footmen.
“I need to go into see the queen. Will you be okay now?”
She nodded and curtsied again before turning around and clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention. I hid a smile behind my hand as I turned back to Freddie. “Okay, let’s go.”
He gave me a shallow bow and swept his hand out for me to go before him. I slapped his shoulder on the way past but couldn’t hide my own grin. I had surprised myself and I felt strangely proud of myself. I hadn’t done much, really, but still it gave me a warm feeling inside. I might no longer be part of the royal guard and I may be floundering in trying to find where I now belonged, but I could still lead the troops when I needed to, even if they were maids and footmen and not actual troops.
Chapter 23
Jamie
“So, how did it go with Meredith?” Freddie asked as he handed me a glass of whiskey, the ice cubes clinking against the tumbler.
I glowered up at him. “Your sister has to be the most stubborn, irritating woman I’ve ever known.”
Freddie just laughed as he took a seat opposite me and then sipped from his own glass. “That she is.”
I pushed back from my desk and rocked back on my chair, looking at the ceiling. “We were interrupted before I could actually say what I wanted to say. The blasted woman ran from me when she first saw me and I had to chase her through the garden. Even when I cornered her, she kept shoving the annulment at me.” I stopped and shook my head. “It’s like she already made up her mind.”
Freddie studied me over the rim of his glass. “You didn’t think this was going to be easy, did you? We are talking about Meredith.”
I sighed gustily and leaned forward to pick up my glass. “I know. It’s actually one of the things I like about her, her tenacity and her willingness to put others before herself. I just wish she would stop being a damned martyr for one minute and let me talk.”
We sipped our drinks in silence for a moment and then Freddie said, “What else is going on?”
I looked at him for a long time before I spoke. I didn’t know how to say what was on my mind without offending him.
“Just spit it out,” he said, interpreting my silence.
“Okay.” I sighed. “What if I get her to listen to me and we move forward and she agrees to stay as my wife and she becomes my queen…what then? Meredith hates everything to do with this life. She turned her back on it for the guard, what would make her want any of this with me? And even if she does, what would she do all day? Meredith needs focus, she needs a goal and to be busy. I can’t exactly see her sitting around entertaining other ladies of the peerage.”
Freddie tried to hide his smile, but I could see the laughter in his eyes. “You need someone like Meredith by your side,” he said. “Your country is in a mess, the last thing you need is a queen who will sit around all day and entertain. You need someone who isn’t afraid of hard work and is willing to roll up her sleeves and get stuck in beside you.”
He was right. It wasn’t that I had forgotten how much work there was still to do, it was more that I hadn’t ever pictured someone willing to work beside me to get it done. My mother hadn’t concerned herself with the affairs of the king. Maybe if she had, none of this would have happened.
“Meredith would do that.” It wasn’t a question but a statement of fact.
“She would,” he said. “She already has.”
I looked at him curiously. “What do you mean?”
“When I went to find her this afternoon, do you know where I found her?”
I shook my head. I had been too preoccupied with greeting the queen and Will.
“She was in the scullery directing the maids and footmen to serve tea. Apparently they were in a right old mess when she’d walked through the door and didn’t know which way was up. Meredith got them sorted.”
“What?” I barely contained my choked laughter.
&nbs
p; “I know,” Freddie smirked. “I was a little stunned myself, but from what I gather, she promoted one of your maids to head maid and then proceeded to show them all how to go about serving tea to the queen. Mother would have been so proud.”
“I admit I was surprised at how smoothly the tea service went,” I said thoughtfully. “They are all new and I don’t think any of them have done anything like that before. Come to think of it, dinner service went smoothly as well.”
Freddie chuckled. “I think she might have slipped in there and given them a few instructions.”
The panic that I had felt earlier, calmed. Meredith wouldn’t be anything like my mother as queen, but that was a good thing. I needed a woman like Meredith by my side so that together we could rebuild Kalopsia. More importantly, Meredith wouldn’t have time to get bored. There were plenty of things she could get stuck into and none of them involved sitting around and entertaining - although there would be a bit of that and she had proven to be an able hostess even if she hadn’t even realised she was doing it.
“Do you need any more convincing?” Freddie asked.
“It’s not that I need convincing,” I replied honestly. “I love your sister and want to spend the rest of my life with her. My concerns were more that she would say yes and then regret her decision. I want to make sure it is what she wants.”
“You are never going to know that unless you ask her,” Freddie said.
Meredith
I felt restless. Alyssa and Will had retired for the night. Alex and I had chatted for a while but when she started yawning, I left her to get ready for bed. I didn’t know where Freddie was, but I didn’t think he would be too far away from his wife. I paced my room. It wasn’t as grand as the suite I’d had at the palace in Merveille, but it was practical and comfortable. It actually made me a little sad to think about all that Kalopsia had lost under a regime of a despot like Anastas. It was a beautiful country, but I could tell that the people were beaten down. I knew Jamie would be good for them. He would make a good king.
He would be good for me too.
Ugh! Why couldn’t I stop thinking about that kiss in the garden this afternoon? Why did it have to feel like coming home?
No! I had to stop thinking like that.
But then why did he kiss me?
Why indeed? And his declaration that I was his wife? What was that all about? I had to admit to myself that it had given me a thrill to hear him say the words. Claiming me. Why hadn’t he signed the annulment papers? Is that why he wanted to talk to me?
God! I was sending myself insane with all this thinking. I changed into workout gear and headed into the bowels of the castle. I had been given a tour of the facilities earlier and one of the first things I had been shown was the gym. I needed something physical to work out all this anxiety and frustration. I pushed through the doors and came to a sudden stop. Danika turned from the heavy bag to stare at me.
I hesitated before going any further. She was part of my problem. Coming here and working out while she was in the same room was not exactly going to do anything for my frustration levels.
“Do you want to spar?” she asked, turning to face me.
Okay then. That might do it. I nodded to her and then walked over to a bench that ran along the wall, dropping my gear bag and pulling out some tape to strap my hands.
We circled each other around the mat a few times before I went for her. It was a typical move for me. I always struck first, especially when grappling with a bigger or stronger opponent. I needed to have the advantage and that meant striking first before they could get a hold on me. It helped that I had been wanting to pummel Danika since the moment I laid eyes on her.
We had fought only once before and I remembered she was good. I usually fought men - Jamie in particular - but the other guys on my team too when they would let me. The only other woman I had fought was Alyssa but that hadn’t been for a couple of years now. It was different fighting a woman. Her body mass was smaller and she was quicker than I was used to. It didn’t take long for me to be sweating and breathing hard. My only consolation was that she was breathing hard too.
I got her to the ground, but she managed to get behind me and before I knew it, she had me in a body triangle. I let myself go limp. It was my only defence. If she thought I’d given up, she might loosen her hold and I could get free. No such luck.
“Giving up?” she asked without releasing her hold.
“No,” I replied stubbornly.
“Good,” she said, “I’d hate to think our queen would give in so quickly.”
I froze. “What did you say?”
She chuckled in my ear, her hold still tight. Her legs locked around my body and squeezed, making it hard to breathe.
“You heard me,” Danika said.
“How did you know?”
“I was having you followed the whole time you were on Le Beau,” she said.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“It wasn’t my place to tell.”
Anger flared in me. “And yet you continued to flirt with Jamie.”
She snorted. “It was part of my cover. Besides, I wanted to see what you would do. But you didn’t do anything except huff and puff. You could have put me in my place, told me to back off, challenged me to a duel. But you did none of those things. Why? Don’t you love him?”
“I couldn’t break cover,” I said lamely.
Danika snorted again. “Not even for the man you married?”
“We were drunk—”
Danika rolled us over and let the hold go, standing and walking away from me. I got up off the floor, stunned.
“What?” I asked.
She turned on me, eyes blazing. “You are not the woman I thought you were,” she said.
“Excuse me?”
“You are weak, Meredith. You are all bluster and no backbone. If you are not willing to fight for the man you love then you have no place being a queen of Kalopsia. We need someone who is strong and will stand up for the people and support the king as he rebuilds us into something great again. Not someone who runs away at the first sign of trouble. Not someone who cowers and hides instead of facing the truth. Go back to Merveille and your country estate where no one will challenge you. Go back and sulk in your misery. We don’t need a queen like you.”
She turned her back on me again and walked away. I stood looking at her for a moment before my anger got the better of me.
“I am not a coward,” I yelled at her. “I am trying to do what is right!”
She swung around to face me. “No, you are doing what is easy. Walking away from King Christophe was the easy thing to do. The hard thing, the courageous thing would have been to stand beside him and maybe even take some of the hits for him. Instead you got your feelings hurt and ran away. That is not love and that is not courage.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” I spat.
“The road ahead won’t be easy,” Father Felipe had said. “You will need to cling to one another through the storms to come. You will need to be prepared to forgive when necessary and fight for one another and for what you have found together.”
The memory of Father Felipe’s words came to me unbidden. I had thought he was talking about something else, I thought he had been talking about the battles I would have with my mother. But he had known who Jamie really was that night. He had known that the battles would be bigger than I could have ever imagined.
“I have been watching you for months. I know you better than you think. This,” she flicked her hand up and down at me, “this bluster, it is nothing more than a summer squall. It blows up fast but blows away just as quick. There is no substance. Since I’ve been watching you, all I’ve seen you do is whine about your circumstances. Poor little privileged girl has to leave the royal guard and take up a title. Boo hoo. Meanwhile, King Christophe had to face his demons and come back to a place that took his entire family away from him. Where were you for him then? You ran away to
lick your wounds and whined about how it wasn’t fair. When was the last time you thought about anyone other than yourself?”
I flew at her then. All my anger and frustration mixed with the shame of her words being right. I had been a coward. I had run away instead of facing the truth. I was in love with Jamie and instead of fighting for him, I had run in the other direction because I was afraid of getting hurt. I was afraid of him telling me I wasn’t good enough. My whole life my mother had looked at me like I was a disappointment to her. I wasn’t the proper lady she had wanted and I never lived up to her expectations. Being with Jamie when he was just a guard was easy, there were no expectations. Being with him when he was a king made all my insecurities rise and choke me. What if my mother was right? What if I was a complete failure as a titled lady? I couldn’t embarrass Jamie like that, I couldn’t burden him with my failings.
Danika took me to the ground again and held me once again in the body triangle. I had shown my weakness to her and now she would exploit it.
“Are you in love with him?” she asked when I finally stopped struggling.
“Yes,” I replied. There was no longer any need to lie.
“Then what are you going to do about it?”
Chapter 24
Jamie
I slept fitfully. The words I needed to say to Meredith went around and around in my head and I knew I wouldn’t get any peace until we actually talked. Managing to get her to talk to me without running off was going to be a problem and I really had no solution, bar locking us both in a room together until she listened to what I had to say.
Giving up on getting any more sleep, I rolled out of bed and pulled on some sweats. It was still early and the palace was quiet as I padded through the halls and down the stairs until I reached the gym. I could hear the thwack of someone using the heavy bag and I paused outside the door. I contemplated turning around and going back to my room, but maybe sparring with someone might just take the edge off what I was feeling.