by Diana Currie
"What time is it?" I ask suddenly pushing Adam's chest up.
He looks over at the alarm clock on the night stand. "One o'clock."
"We've been making out for an hour?" I ask horrified.
A huge grin spreads across Adam's face as he slowly rolls onto his side. "Yeah, I guess so," he answers sounding quite satisfied with that knowledge.
"I need to get downstairs, check the answering machine, and make your lunch..." I mumble disoriented.
"I don't care about food, Amanda. I don't want you to go yet," he says pouting. His arm tightens around my waist and he tries to pull me back down to him. I allow it and Adam's hand settles back across my hip. He relaxes as I begin fingering the exposed skin on his chest. To my credit, I've resisted pushing the opened flannel shirt off his shoulders this entire time we've been together. It was quite a feat.
"Aren't you hungry?" I ask innocently.
He ignores my question. "When do you have to pick up Tyler and Gabby?"
"I don't. Tommy is getting them after work and making dinner at his apartment. Once in a while he makes them breakfast for dinner since it’s their favorite meal."
Adam smiles at my words but says nothing. A wave of conflicting emotions passes over me and it's highly unsettling. I feel guilty for speaking Tommy's name while I lay here in another man's arms. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. Truthfully, I've not yet convinced myself that it isn't the case.
"I'm sorry," I say weakly. "I shouldn't mention my ex while we're together like this."
I'm starting to freak out just a little, wondering how the hell I let this happen between me and Adam. I wasn't thinking and I let myself get far too carried away. I don't know what is going to happen now.
"Hey, hey," he says calmly searching my eyes until I'm focused only on his face. "I never want you to feel like you need to hide him from me. I realize Tommy was a huge part of your life until recently, and in many ways always will be. I don't want you to be afraid to say his name, okay?"
I bite my lip and nod my head.
"You began dating Tommy in high school, right? So he was one of only a few boyfriends I'm assuming?" Adam asks.
"My only," I whisper, not sure where Adam's going with this.
He appears a bit surprised by my answer. "Okay. Your first boyfriend, then your husband. There's a long history there and I understand how all of your life experiences, all your memories, are tangled up with his. Together you had two children. Of course Tommy has to continue being part of your life. I’m okay with that."
I smile at him appreciatively. He's too good to be true. I thought it would be difficult to find a man who would be capable of dating a mother of two young kids. Adam not only accepts my family baggage but he genuinely likes Tyler and Gabby. And he seems to understand how Tommy will never be out of the picture for me. Our children are an unbreakable link between Tommy and me forever. And their futures will be much brighter if Tommy and I can somehow form some kind of amicable post marriage friendship.
Adam grazes my cheek with the back of his fingers and it calms me. He patiently watches my face as the cogs in my brain work out a response. "What are we going to do, Adam?"
"I don't know. We don't have to decide today, remember? Whatever this is, I just want to keep doing it."
I nod my head in agreement and then slip out from under his arms reach. "I need to go do my job. I'm technically on company time," I say shrugging.
Adam attempts to stand up too but I gently push his shoulders back down. "What's wrong?" he asks warily.
"Nothing, I just don't know if Heidi is back yet. I didn't hear her, but I was a little distracted earlier," I explain blushing.
Adam smirks. "Can I at least come down when lunch is ready?"
"I suppose," I reply in a flirty tone and lean down to kiss him passionately on the lips.
I take a quick peak down the hall before tiptoeing out of Adam's room and down to the kitchen.
Relieved to finally get a little alone time I quickly go about preparing lunch for Adam and Heidi. My mind is whirling and I need time to think about everything Adam and I said to one another and the intimate time we just shared. We may not have gone further than first base but emotionally I feel like it was off the charts. I've always found cooking therapeutic so I upgrade the turkey sandwiches I planned to make into a more complicated hot chicken parmesan sandwich to give myself time to process the past hour and a half.
Heidi never returns for lunch so Adam and I are able to talk openly over the kitchen table. I ask him about the house he's building. The process fascinates me though it feels like a very long and stressful endeavor. Adam tells me that his brother Andrew will be coming to Swainsboro in just a few days to oversee the start of the project. I am surprised at first to learn that his brother won't be on site for the entire build but Adam explains that his crew is very capable and Andrew also has the business to run with other projects to oversee. He and Bianca live up in McDonough so it would be very inconvenient for them to stay with Gregory and Caroline until Christmas. Adam still holds hope that completion deadline is doable.
Adam says his parents approve of his desire to build the house from the ground up, and he is happy that they finally approve of something he’s doing. The smile lighting up his face as he tells me this proves how much he still seeks their approval. It also makes me wonder if Adam's parents would approve of their son making out with the girl from the B&B. I know I shouldn't assume Caroline or Gregory would judge me on my place of employment, but they might take issue with the fact that I'm quite newly divorced and have two children to raise.
I still don't know the full truth about what trouble Adam had gotten himself into back in Chicago. It was something serious enough for him to leave the city he loves and move to a small town. And whatever it was that happened there caused such a riff in his family that Adam still doesn't feel comfortable staying in his parents’ house. I wonder to myself if Adam will ever offer up the gory details of his departure from Chicago.
I'm a little nervous to know more of his family will be in Swainsboro in a matter of days. Those nerves multiply when, during our conversation over lunch, Adam invites me to meet his brother and sister-in-law on Sunday. I'm intimidated but also very curious to finally get a glimpse of Bianca Brickman. I avoid giving him an answer to an afternoon at the Brickman's house until I've had significant time to mull the offer over. I want to ask Adam if he plans on introducing me to his family as just a friend when the phone rings. I excuse myself from the table and rush over to the check-in desk.
"Thank you for calling the Thatcher Bed and Breakfast. This is Amanda speaking."
The man calling wants to book a reservation for the following week. I speak to him for a few minutes learning about his expectations and answering questions. He agrees to stay at Thatcher's so I mark the reservation in the book and take his deposit over the phone. When I return to the table Adam is watching me with soulful eyes. I blush, sure that he must be remembering what we shared upstairs in his bedroom.
"That was a reservation," I declare idiotically. Of course Adam knows this already, he could hear my side of the conversation.
"Anyone interesting?" he asks.
"A newlywed couple. They married a few months ago but this trip will be their honeymoon."
Adam groans. "Do you think they'll be having sex every night? What am I saying? Of course they will! Can you do me a favor and put them in one of the downstairs rooms?"
"I'll see what I can do," I reply rolling my eyes.
"Thank you."
Standing up, I take our plates over to the sink. "What do you want for dinner?" I ask over my shoulder.
Adam rubs his belly and groans again. It's a really sexy sound, and one that I am keenly aware of since he made it repeatedly while we were rolling around his bed like a couple of teenagers.
"We just ate, how can you be thinking of dinner already? Are you trying to fatten me up, woman?"
"Adam, meals take pla
nning. I'm not feeding you dinner now, just simply asking what you might prefer. And you're not the only one in the house you know. Heidi will need to eat something too."
"Okay, well how about something light since we ate a late lunch?"
"Soup and salad? Fish and streamed vegetables? Chicken and rice?" I ask, rattling off a few possibilities.
"Fish sounds good. Can we have that?"
I smile. "Absolutely."
I'm washing dishes and Adam's stretching his arms over his head asking if we can have fish for dinner. It suddenly feels very domestic in this kitchen again. He offers to help make dinner and at the risk of hurting his feelings I refuse. Adam really is far too eager to please. I tell him that I need to complete some chores for a few hours; clean up the bathrooms and dust the downstairs.
"I need some time to think. I'll call you for dinner," I say shyly. I'm not accustomed to having help during meal preparations. Tommy certainly never assisted me in the kitchen.
"Alright," he agrees.
I expect him to leave me to my work now. Instead, Adam approaches me timidly like he's afraid of spooking me. He reaches out slowly to take my hand and kisses the back of it with his soft lips. It's hard to let him leave remembering how those lips felt against other parts of my body. He smiles wistfully at me and then retreats up to his room, softly shutting the door behind him.
Chores and cooking are both great exercises for the mind. I let my thoughts wander in every direction while I clean the house and prepare dinner. Adam stays in his room and I am thankful that he's giving me this time alone. It's obvious that he would have preferred to talk more about what's changed between us today but he is wise to wait it out. I told him before I wasn't ready to accept everything he is offering and I just hope he can keep his promise to move slowly. I suppose I am just a little spooked by what transpired earlier in Adam's room.
Heidi returns home a few minutes before six o'clock. She pokes her head into the kitchen to see what I've made and gives me a thumbs up when I tell her its fish and vegetables. I set the table while she takes a quick shower and only once all the food is on the table do I call Adam down to eat. He's grinning when he enters the room and looks happier than he's been since I met him. I wonder if the reason could have anything to with me and what happened between us today. Adam glances over to me briefly and the smile grows even wider. He winks at me from across the table, confirming my suspicions about his good mood were correct.
The three of us sit in the dining room and engage in polite conversation while we pass around platters and fill our plates. "How is your grandmother feeling, Heidi?" Adam asks.
Heidi rolls her eyes and takes a bite out of her dinner roll. "Her house smells like a funeral home. I interviewed three nurses today and Nana said she didn't like any of them, which is really frustrating because my mother says I have to stay here until someone's hired."
Adam looks at Heidi and smiles. "I'm sure your grandmother is nervous about having a stranger in her home. Trusting someone to care for her must be very difficult."
"Yeah, she's scared about being alone too. I have to go back and check on her again tonight before going out. I can't believe an eighty year old woman needs to be tucked in."
"Where are you going tonight?" Adam inquires playing right into her hand.
Heidi is clearly delighted that he asked. "I'm meeting a couple friends in Savannah. We're going to a new bar that recently opened by the riverfront. You should come, Adam. That would be so much fun."
"Thank you very much for the invitation, Heidi, but I'm afraid I have to work early tomorrow. And I have a few things to attend to here," Adam replies.
Adam is looking at Heidi but I feel his leg brush mine under the table. I feel my face beginning to blush so I quickly excuse myself to refill my water glass in the kitchen. I can hear their conversation continue and it thrills me to no end that Adam has turned down her invitation in order to spend the evening with me.
Heidi is telling Adam about the friends she will be meeting in Savannah. It's obvious her intention is to coax him into accepting her offer to join them. I stay put in the kitchen, washing dishes and finding other tasks to give me reason to stay away. It pleases me that Adam is being discreet about what happened between us. It would be so easy for him to tell Heidi that he and I are involved to get her off his back. Adam is smart enough to ignore her subtle inquiries into a possible girlfriend. He simply tells her he is new to town and has been focusing on building his house and getting himself acquainted with the doctor's office. Heidi asks him if perhaps he has a boyfriend instead and my hand flies up to cover my mouth as I laugh.
I feel a little crummy about abandoning Adam out there with her, but I was serious when I told him I didn't want people to know something is going on between us. Adam is too smiley today and I know my face gives away my feelings just as glaringly; not to mention the traitor blush that I can still feel in my cheeks from the footsie Adam played with me minutes earlier.
Finally, but not soon enough, Heidi finishes dinner and excuses herself to change for the club. Adam is beside me in the kitchen the moment Heidi is gone. "What's the matter?" he asks.
"Nothing. I'm just cleaning up as usual." I explain while scrubbing the countertop with a sponge.
"Not that, I mean when I touched your leg with mine. You immediately pulled away and left the room. I'm sorry if that was out of line."
I offer him a small smile and muster the courage to touch his forearm with my fingertips in a gesture I hope he will find reassuring. "I'm sorry. I finished eating and couldn't stand to listen to her go on about her girls' night out. It wasn't a reaction to you."
Adam's mouth quirks up at the corners and he steps closer. Our bodies are mere inches apart and my senses are assaulted by his delicious scent. I drop the sponge in the sink. My other hand is still on his forearm and I resist the urge to let go; afraid he'll think I'm recoiling from his touch again.
"When is Tommy dropping off the kids?" he whispers.
I bite my lip nervously. "Not until tomorrow morning before work."
Adam clearly likes my answer. His hands come up between us and he gently places them on my hips. Those precious few inches of air between us is gone and replaced by heat and desire. I look up into his wistful gaze and pull my lip between my teeth again.
"Will you stay with me a while tonight then? I want to spend more time with you."
"Can we sit by the fire again? I want to spend more time with you too but I don't think it would be smart to go back up to your room," I say shyly. I have no idea what he's thinking, but I need Adam to understand that I'm not ready for more physical intimacy yet.
Adam quirks an eye brow at me and his intense gaze softens. "Do you not trust my self control if you were in my bed again?"
I shake my head. "You have it backwards; it's my own self control I don't trust."
Adam's grip on my waist tightens as he abruptly presses his lips against mine. I'm caught off guard and silently gasp against his mouth. He takes my lower lip between his teeth and gently tugs it. We share a searing passionate kiss, our hands bravely moving to explore each other.
Then the floorboards above our heads squeak. Heidi is walking from her room to the bathroom and the reminder that she is in the house snaps me out of the Adam induced fog.
"Behave until she leaves," I whisper pointing at the ceiling.
"Just until she leaves?" he teases with a smile.
"You're going to be the death of me, Adam Brickman. I was serious when I told you I needed this to move slowly... and discreetly," I quietly scold him, gesturing between our bodies with my hands. "I'll stay to watch a movie with you or we can talk more. Just please go read a book or something until Heidi is out of the house."
Adam pouts in reaction to my words but I can tell he's not upset. He rubs his chin thoughtfully and says, "Fine I'll go read my novel in the living room. But I should warn you that the text is quite small. I think I'll need to get my reading glasses."
He's referring to the note I left in his room earlier. Adam stares at my face, watching with amusement as it flames red from embarrassment. I can't believe he just said that and I have no idea what to say in reply. I've never been capable of coming up with witty comebacks. When I don't respond he smirks at me and retreats slowly from the kitchen. I turn towards the sink and brace myself on the edge of the counter once he's out of sight.
"Don't be such a wuss, Amanda," I say under my breath as Adam's noisy footsteps reach the second floor.
Forty agonizing minutes later Heidi finally appears at the bottom of the stairs ready for a night out on the town. She's wearing a pink tank top with ample cleavage, a black mini skirt, and bright pink open toed sandals. Even I have to admit she looks good. She quickly waves goodbye to me and ducks into the living room to say good night to Adam. I roll my eyes at the back of her head. Knowing that Adam and I are about to be alone in the house once again has my tummy tied in knots. I decide to give the kids a quick call just to say good night. Tommy will probably be getting them ready for bed soon. Heidi waves as she heads out the front door as I dial.
Adam comes looking for me the moment the door closes and finds me at the check in desk with the old fashioned rotary phone in one hand. It rings in my ear as Adam leans against the door frame of the dining room watching me. I notice he's in fact wearing his reading glasses and my imagination did not nearly do him justice. I hold up one finger to him and he nods with a smile. Adam's looking at me that way again, like I'm something he'd like to eat. I momentarily forget who I just called until Tyler's voice comes through the phone receiver.
"Hello, Daddy's house. Tyler speaking."
"Hi, sweetie. It's Mommy. How are you doing?" I ask.
"Mommy! We played with new trains Daddy got! And then Daddy made me take a bath with Gabby. I told him I'm too big for that but he made me anyway."