I Won A Spaceship

by Harrision Park

  “Why did you offer the tailor official patronage?” Barbita asked as we made our way back to the hotel. By this time we were well beyond the ‘Sir’ and ‘Madam’ stage.

  “Because he didn’t ask and didn’t push. He’s put himself out for me and hasn’t cheated me. I thought he deserved it. Is there a problem?”

  “No, I was just curious, that’s all.”

  She declined the offer of lunch and left, saying she’d be back in the morning. I found Flerrionna and bought her lunch instead. Or, rather, she bought lunch on my behalf. I was a bit reluctant to tell her about the twenty three beautiful women I was going to make love to over the next month but she insisted. She looked sad but accepting when I’d finished.

  “I’m happy for you,” she said. “It must be every man’s dream to have so many women eager to bed him.”

  I wanted to reassure her but knew I had to be honest.

  “If they wanted to make love with me, Crawford MacAdam, I’d probably be ecstatic. If I was a trivee star with a big ego, I’d probably be ecstatic. But I’m honest enough, or stupid enough, to know they only want what I represent. They’d want me even if I had three legs and scales.

  “Look Flerrionna, my love,” I took both her hands in mine. “Right now I love you deeply and passionately. I hope, when all this is over, I feel the same way but I would be less than honest if I was to promise that. I don’t know what’s going to happen. Perhaps I’ll fall in love with one of them. At the moment that doesn’t seem likely but who knows? I keep wondering what sort of woman would want to bear the child of a man she’s never met and never seen.”

  She gave me a fierce look though her eyes were teary. “This sort of woman, remember?”

  “I know but…”

  “But nothing. I’ve already admitted that I was first attracted to you because you were the Lottery Winner. You don’t seem to realise that just being the Lottery winner makes you a desirable man. And the fact that you’re handsome, a nice person and quite decisive when you choose just adds to that. These women are just like me only they get you officially. If you can make me fall in love with you, you can do the same with them… and that’s what scares me.”

  “You’re right. My view of me is different from everyone else’s. I suppose I need to get used to the idea that I’m a sex idol but it doesn’t feel right.”

  “It might after you’re had twenty three of them.” She tried to make a joke of it.

  “It might. I hope it doesn’t. But there’s another point. Whatever I might feel about them, they’re all contracted to the Commission to bear my children and be observed and monitored for the rest of their lives. I only hope the Commission’s made it worth their while. What do you think would happen if I spirited one or two of them away?”

  “The Commission wouldn’t be very happy.”

  “They’re not very happy now. They’d be even less happy if I don’t do my damndest to fulfil my contract. They might even have grounds for taking everything away. So I’m going to be a good boy and do what I’m told… mostly. And, however young and beautiful these ladies are, I’m going to do my best not to get emotionally involved. As I say I can’t make promises but, as far as I’m concerned, I’ll be coming back for you as soon as this is all over.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  I spent the afternoon with Ziggy and Stardust. They were pleased to see me though I thought they seemed a bit listless. It was hardly surprising, I supposed, considering they’d been cooped up in single rooms for a week. Yet again I felt very guilty for having dragged them away from their familiar environment. They hadn’t asked to come and I wished there was something I could do.

  Chapter 10

  Barbita returned as I was getting ready. The tailor had delivered the tie as promised. It was a bit gaudy for my taste but she approved.

  “It’ll show up well on tri-v.” she said.

  I had made my preparations far too early and now had nothing to do but fret, which I did with a vengeance. Barbita tried to distract me by asking me about my life on Earth but I was too would up to respond. I poured a large scotch and sipped it as I paced up and down.

  “For the honour of the gods, will you settle down, Crawford?” she finally snapped. “You’re going to be no good to anyone if you’re having a nervous breakdown. What are you so het up about? You’re taking a beautiful young woman to dinner without the need to worry whether you’ll get into her panties later. What’s your problem?”

  Her crude words had the desired effect. I ceased my pacing and glared at her. She glared back and, suddenly, the tension broke and I laughed.

  “You have quite a way with words.”

  “It’s part of my charm.”

  “I apologise. I’ve no idea why I’m so wound up. Tell me. What can I expect tonight?”

  “If you need me to tell you that, then we’ve picked the wrong Winner.”

  It took a moment for the penny to drop.

  “Oh, good one,” I said with a genuine laugh. “I think I can manage that bit. It’s the bit before I was asking about.”

  “To be honest, it’ll be a melee. The media have been fully briefed and it’s been publicly announced so there’ll be hundreds of beings at the restaurant. The restaurant have pulled out all the stops; yellow carpet, bouquets, the lot.”

  “Yellow? I don’t look good in yellow.”

  “It’s traditional.”

  “Some day I’ll find out why yellow.”

  “Not today, you won’t.”

  Flerrionna’s words at lunch came to my mind. I was the Lottery Winner. It may not mean much to me but to everyone here it was a big thing. I was public property. I was a star… or at least a celebrity. What I felt was unimportant. I was the man, or being, of the moment and I had to behave like it. I pictured the news reports I’d seen of the big names in Hollywood arriving at the Oscars. That was how I’d have to play it. Hell, however many septillion beings had seen me on trivee and there had been over a hundred thousand at the stadium. How bad could it be?

  I caught her looking at me and grinned. She grinned back.

  “That’s it. You’re there,” she said. I nodded. “That was impressive to see. I watched you almost physically change as you psyched yourself up.”

  There was a commotion in the hall. I started towards the door but she motioned me back and opened it herself. Suddenly the room was full of beings, in the middle of which was the most stunningly beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Her skin was the palest blue porcelain. Her hair, elegantly piled in rolls on top of her head with wisps and tendrils trailing down her long, slender neck was an indescribable blend of russet, chestnut and dark chocolate. Her face was a perfect oval with huge dark eyes, a delicate tip-tilted nose and full deep red lips. Her shoulders were elegantly bare above the shimmering dress that was the exact same shade of green as my tie. Score one to Barbita. The upper curves of her breasts swelled discreetly over the top of the dress which dipped in to feature her narrow waist then flared out in flowing pleats almost to the floor. Long, dangly earrings sparkled iridescently as did the band, not quite choker not quite necklace, round her neck and the bands around her upper arms and wrists.

  My mouth was suddenly dry. My heart pounded in my chest. Surely they weren't expecting me to squire this almost idealised vision of perfection to dinner. I was only a nobody from nowhere. I wasn't worthy. As a moth to a flame, I stepped forward and the entourage drew a pace back. I looked into her eyes and, despite the smile painted on her face, what I saw disturbed me deeply. She was scared. Why should she be scared? This was what she had dreamed of, competed for, fought for… a date with the Lottery Winner. She should be happy or satisfied or smug or excited. Not afraid. My mind cleared and I was back in control of myself. I looked slowly round the ring of hangers-on. In their eyes I didn’t see pride or sympathy or compassion. I saw ownership. As they had with me, the Lottery representatives saw the girls, not as people, but as property; things to be bent, shaped, picked up, put down, us
ed and discarded to further their own aims of boost their own egos. I knew exactly why she was terrified and I saw red.

  “I don’t know who all you vultures are,” I said in a flat voice that sounded very loud in the silence, “but you have ten seconds to get out.”

  A stern-faced Capellan woman with greying hair and thin lips stepped forward.

  “You can’t do that.”

  “Oh? Why not?”

  “Because I say not.”

  “I won’t bother asking who you are because I don’t care. You will leave.”

  “I will not leave. I am Madam Gift-of-the-Gods Holiness-Personified, Superior Breeding Programme Manager and answerable only to the Director of the Breeding Programme himself.”

  “I have no interest in your petty vanities. You will leave, now.”

  “You do not seem to realise who you are talking to. You cannot order me about. I am in command.”

  “I know exactly who I’m talking to; a pathetic, offensive, self-seeking, callous old woman.” My translator was working overtime. “For the last time… get out.”

  She was almost speechless with rage. “How… dare you… you… you… barbarian. Who do you think you are? You are nothing… nobody. You will not speak to me like that.”

  I managed to keep my face impassive. “I am not nobody. I am the Lottery Winner… a fact you seem to have conveniently forgotten.” I leaned forward slightly. “I am also an ignorant savage from a primitive and violent planet.” I raised my voice. “If you do not leave immediately and take your group of toadies and sycophants with you, I will pick you up and bodily throw you out.”

  By the end I was almost shouting and half-reached out, clenching and unclenching my hands as if I was restraining myself only with extreme difficulty. The woman flinched and paled.

  “Now!” I roared.

  She turned and fled, having to fight with her colleagues to get out of the door.

  “Ten minutes, please,” I said to Barbita who was loitering at the back.

  She grinned and left, closing the door behind her. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and turned to my beautiful companion who looked like she wished she was anywhere else in the universe but here.

  “Funny how they didn’t seem particularly interested in saving you,” I said with an ironic grin. “But they probably forgot. They seemed to be in an awful hurry to leave. I’m sorry I had to behave like that. It wasn't very dignified. May I, on behalf of the Lottery, formally apologise for the abysmal treatment you’ve received. May I also say that you are the most ravishingly beautiful woman I have ever met and you do me great honour by accompanying me tonight.”

  Her eyes were so wide I feared I might fall in and drown in them. She opened and closed her mouth a few times but no sound emerged.

  “Bu… Bu… Bu… But… You’re… I thought… But…” She fluttered a hand vaguely in the direction of the door. I continued to smile confidently. “You’re not… That was an act?” she managed eventually.

  “Precisely. Quite effective, though I say so myself.”

  “Then… then you’re not a savage barbarian?”

  I made an exaggerated preening gesture. “I like to think of myself as an urbane and sophisticated being though I suppose most people here would regard me as hopeless primitive.”

  She giggled. She was visibly relaxing. I took her hand, the fingers long and elegant, the nails painted green, and drew her to the settee.

  “I’m afraid we haven’t much time. I don’t know how long Barbita will be able to hold off the pack so I’m going to have to be very abrupt.

  “Welcome Cherevine Zvachnica. Did I pronounce that right? I am Crawford MacAdam, known as Crawford. I meant what I said about you being the most ravishingly beautiful woman I’ve ever met. Your image doesn’t come close to doing you justice.” I hoped my suave half-smile wasn't really a leer. “In fact, I’m tempted to let my primitive side out, lock the door and forget about the dinner.” She giggled again. A delicate pink flush spread over her cheeks. “You’re even more beautiful when you blush. Please stop.” This, of course, made her blush some more. I clasped the delicate hand in both of mine. “However, much as I’d like to do that, I can’t. Tonight we’re public property. The Lottery Winner and his consort. I don’t know what we’ll face but I’m told it’ll be a rammie. We’re public property and tonight we’re on show. It’s the price we pay for being successful. Can you, will you, pretend this is the most exciting day of your life?”

  Her eyes left mine and she looked down at the floor.

  “It should be the most exciting day of my life, shouldn’t it? After all, I’ve achieved my dream of being the escort of the Lottery Winner. At the moment, though, it doesn’t feel very exciting.”

  I squeezed her hand gently. “Would you believe that I understand completely? I know what you’ve been through because I’ve been through it too. Oh, yes,” I said at her surprised look, “they’ve tried to treat me like their personal property, too. I fought them, I’m still fighting them and I’ll continue to fight them. This is your day. Don’t let these vermin in the corridor spoil it for you. You’re with me now and I won’t let anything bad happen to you. And I’m going to do my damndest to make sure this really is the most exciting day of your life.”

  She glanced up and smiled shyly. She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. It did interesting things to her bosom.

  “This is the most exciting day of my life,” she said firmly. “I’m with the Lottery Winner and we’re going to dinner and I’m going to be on trivee and be famous.” She lowered her eyes and glanced up at me. “And, even better, the Lottery Winner is both a hunk and a gentleman.” It was my turn to blush. “You look even hunkier when you blush.”

  I laughed. “Touché. That's the spirit.” I stood and drew her to her feet. “Now, shall we let the dogs back in and go and face our adoring public?”

  “Yes, let’s do it.”

  I slipped an arm round her shoulder and, together, we opened the door. Madam Holiness-Personified was instantly inside. Ten minutes of cooling her heels had improved her courage if not her temper.

  “Right,” she snapped. “Are you finished? You’re nonsense had made us late. We’re scheduled to be at the restaurant in fifteen minutes.”

  I gave Cherevine’s shoulders a comforting squeeze.

  “I must correct you. Cherevine and I are scheduled to be somewhere in fifteen minutes. You are scheduled to be nowhere.”

  She glared at me. I met her gaze without flinching. “We are scheduled to be at the restaurant in fifteen minutes.” The ‘we’ was emphasised.

  I shook my head slowly. “I will put this simply, Madam Bossiness-Personified. If you are in the car, I will not be.”

  “Er, Crawford.” Barbita was tugging at my sleeve. “She has to go with you. Only she knows the arrangements at the restaurant.”

  Madam Holiness-Personified was looking murderously smug.

  “That’s a pity,” I said morosely then brightened. “Perhaps she can sit on the roof.”

  Cherevine giggled and Barbita suppressed a smile. “I’m afraid not,” she said gently as if speaking to a slightly backward child. “She has to brief you on the way.”

  I thought about pouting but decided that savage barbarians didn’t pout. “Well, if she must…” I turned on Madam Holiness-Personified. “You, and only you, will accompany us. You will confine yourself to briefing us about what is to happen at the restaurant. Other than that you will offer no opinions and make no comments unless you are asked a direct question. Remember you will be in a vehicle with a potentially violent and barely controllable savage.” Her lips set in a grim line but she nodded tersely. “Right, let’s go, then. Don’t wait up, Barbita, I might be late.”

  Barbita laughed openly which only made Madam Holiness-Personified even angrier.

  “I’m sorry, Crawford, but these two…” she indicated two Capellans who had stood at the back throughout. They had an aura of not quite bei
ng part of this.

  “Guards?” I said.

  She nodded. “Protectors. It’s necessary. Sorry?”

  “Who’s?”

  She cottoned on to my meaning. “Independent.”

  I nodded.

  I looked down to where Cherevine was tucked comfortably under my arm. “Are you ready, dear?”

  She looked up and smiled and the smile set my pulses racing. “Yes… dear, I’m ready,” she said in a clear confident voice.

  I nodded at the others. “Shall we go.”

  Without waiting for a response I started off. To my surprise, there was a smattering of cheers from the hangers-on. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Barbita was talking urgently into her communicator.

  At the bottom of the escalator I was met with another surprise. The reception area was lined with beings; hotel staff and guests. As they caught sight of us they let out a cheer. I stopped so suddenly that our entourage nearly collided with us. The protectors fanned out, eyes alert.

  “Right, Cherevine, we’re on,” I said from the corner of my mouth. “Chin up, shoulders back, tummy in and don’t forget to smile.” I glanced down at her. “You’d better wipe that smudge from your nose.”

  “What?” she said, a hand already rising. Then she caught sight of my grin and pouted. “I’ll get you for that, Crawford MacAdam.”

  “Hold that thought.”

  I raised a hand in greeting and nodded and smiled as we promenaded down the corridor to the escalator. On either side hands holding communicators were held up to record our passing. At the top of escalator, overtaken by an impulse, I stopped and turned us back to face the well-wishers.

  “Sirs and Madams,” I said loudly. “We thank you for your good wishes and support. May the gods favour you.”

  The cheering was deafening. With a cheery wave, we descended to the waiting limousine. I use the term ‘limousine’ loosely. The vehicle that awaited us was large but hardly a limousine. In fact, just like every other vehicle I’d seen, it resembled a box with bits stuck on at the front and back. For no reason at all I wondered why this was and resolved to ask Hermes at some time. Two more protectors and the driver were there. I handed Cherevine into the vehicle and urged her into the far corner. I wanted to keep as much distance as possible between her and Madam Holiness-Personified.