by K. L. Slater
‘I do like reading,’ she said tentatively.
‘That’s nice.’ Joanne seemed distracted as she swiped through her phone. ‘So who’s your favourite author?’
‘I like David Walliams,’ Maisie said right away, wishing she was immersed in one of his books in a quiet corner at home right this very minute.
‘I’ve read all his books,’ Piper said. ‘He’s not a proper author, though, like Michael Morpurgo.’
‘Everyone has their own favourite, Piper,’ Joanne remarked. ‘There’s no right or wrong choices when it comes to enjoying books.’
‘That’s what my teacher says,’ Maisie agreed.
Piper glared and prodded Maisie’s rucksack until it toppled back over her side of the large rear seat.
‘I like listening to music, too,’ Maisie volunteered, ignoring Piper. ‘My favourite singer is Ariana Grande.’
Piper let out a loud wail and covered her eyes with her hands.
Joanne twisted around in her seat and squeezed her daughter’s knee.
‘Are you OK, sweetie?’ She looked at Maisie and dropped her voice. ‘Piper’s friend was there that day at Manchester. Her friend was OK, but Piper still gets upset if the attack is mentioned.’
Maisie hooked her fingers through the handle of her rucksack and chafed the strap against her skin.
‘I like Katy Perry best, anyway,’ Piper said, letting her hands drop away from her face. ‘She’s the best singer and the prettiest.’
‘Oh yes, you like Katy too, don’t you, Maize?’ her dad said.
‘I’m a member of her fan club,’ Piper went on. ‘I have an autographed photograph and a programme from one of her concerts.’
‘That’s nice,’ Maisie said quietly.
‘You’ll have to show Maisie when we get back to ours later, Piper darling,’ Joanne said.
Maisie felt sick and hot. She seemed to be squashed up against the door as if she hadn’t got enough space, which was silly because her dad’s car was enormous.
Then the vehicle lurched to take a left turn and parked up outside the bowling alley. Maisie jumped out.
‘Maisie’s keen.’ Joanne nudged her dad and spoke loudly for dramatic effect. ‘I think you and I should play against the girls. What do you say, Shaun?’
‘I want to play with you, Mum,’ Piper said sulkily. She slammed the car door behind her far too hard, but Maisie noticed her dad didn’t scold her for doing so.
Joanne looked at Shaun. ‘OK with you if Piper and I team up?’
‘That’s fine, but be warned, Maisie and I make a formidable team,’ Shaun joked. ‘Right, Maize?’
‘Right,’ Maisie said, gnawing on her thumbnail.
Inside, they queued to pay, then queued again for their bowling shoes. Maisie tried to stand next to her dad, but Joanne held his hand one side, and Piper stood the other side of him.
‘OK, poppet?’ He turned back and winked at her. She nodded, and when it was her turn, took her shoes from the lady behind the counter.
Suddenly Piper appeared right next to her.
‘OH MY GOD, Maisie is a four and a half in shoes!’ Piper declared loudly.
‘Piper…’ Joanne said gently.
‘That’s massive! I’m only a three,’ she added.
Maisie busied herself untying the knotted laces, a flood of heat rushing to her face.
‘Big feet, big heart, they say.’ Shaun ruffled her hair as he walked by.
‘She must take after you, Shaun,’ Joanne grinned. ‘You’ve got big feet too!’
‘You’re not Maisie any more; your new name is Bigfoot!’ Piper giggled with delight, dancing around in front of her. ‘Bigfoot! Bigfoot!’
‘Piper, you are a monkey!’ Joanne pressed her fingers to her lips to suppress a giggle.
Shaun glanced at Maisie. ‘What do you reckon to this cheeky pair, Maize? All the more reason for us to hammer them with our extraordinary bowling skills, right?’
Maisie nodded and smiled. The skin around her mouth felt tightly stretched, like it might split in the corners. As they headed to their bowling lane, she blinked to clear her stupid stingy eyes.
Piper skipped ahead, light and graceful on her tiptoes.
When Maisie looked down, she saw how the shoes looked like ugly big boats stuck on the ends of her clumsy legs.
Chapter Thirty-One
Joanne
Back at the apartment, she lined the peaches up on the baking tray, admiring how, when she’d finished, it looked like a picture from one of the glossy food magazines she bought each month but rarely read.
She’d taken time to correctly skin the plump fresh fruits, halve and stone them and then drizzle them with honey. She planned to serve them for dessert with vanilla ice cream.
It was Piper’s favourite pudding and Joanne was anxious to keep Piper happy. She’d learned long ago that if Piper was happy, then everyone was happy.
Joanne was very aware that most people thought her daughter was terribly spoiled. They didn’t dare voice it in front of her, of course, but the truth of what they thought revealed itself in the swiftly exchanged glances after dance classes, when Piper seemed prone to the odd tantrum.
She saw some of the other mums giving their daughters a warning look or even publicly scolding them in front of their friends. Joanne would never do that to Piper. She felt guilty enough as it was about the short amount of time she got to spend with her daughter.
People could criticise her all they liked; they had no idea what it took to manage a high-flying legal career as well as function effectively as a single mum.
With no family living close enough to help her, Joanne had no choice but to employ various people.
Audrey, a registered childminder, collected Piper from her after-school club each day.
Then there was Bahni, a middle-aged Indian lady who acted as a sort of housekeeper/cleaner. She’d been with Joanne for the last three years. Bahni worked thirty hours a week, carrying out a variety of quite simple but essential tasks, from packing up Piper’s lunch box during the week to taking care of the laundry and food shopping.
On top of that, there were a couple of non-working mums at school with whom Joanne was on good terms. Piper was friendly with their daughters, girls who also attended Miss Diane’s dance academy.
The friends regularly took turns having sleepovers at each other’s houses, and the other mums never minded if Joanne needed to drop Piper off for an hour or two on the odd occasion she needed to pop back into the office outside of the working day.
Joanne kept her small army of helpers discreetly in the background. She always felt a little inadequate that she couldn’t do it all on her own, without any help.
She winced. There it was again: the perfectionism that had propelled her to success and simultaneously plagued her her whole life.
It was exhausting at times. But it wouldn’t be forever.
At some point in the near future, if she was lucky and things worked out between her and Shaun, Joanne wouldn’t be facing life alone any more. She could relax a little, let go.
She opened the French doors that led out to the balcony. It was quite cool outside, but with the apartment being on the top floor, with a pitched roof, it got very warm unless it was freezing out.
She could hear laughter and shouting from the grassed area below.
Shaun had taken the girls down there with a couple of racquets and a shuttlecock to get them out from under her feet while she prepared tea. It sounded like they were having fun. He was so good with kids, seemed to know instinctively what they liked to do. Unlike her.
The last time she’d taken time off so she and Piper could have a girlie day, Joanne had bought expensive tickets to a contemporary dance performance at the Playhouse, and Piper had been bored senseless.
Maisie was so lucky, having a dad like Shaun. It was yet another thing poor Piper had missed out on, but if everything went well, maybe that could change in time.
Joanne set the time
r for the baked peaches and emptied a large tub of extra-thick double cream into a metal mixing bowl. She added a little vanilla essence and some caster sugar before whipping it.
Having a playful dad hadn’t stopped Maisie from being a bit uptight. Piper had made several harmless jokes throughout the day that Maisie had reacted to with a sour face. Particularly the ‘Bigfoot’ nickname, which privately Joanne thought had been quite apt, though the child didn’t seem to see the funny side of things at all.
Maisie was a sturdy girl, tall and broad with strong facial features and curly dark hair. Joanne had caught her studying Piper’s petite frame as she skipped around at the bowling alley.
Maisie would never be petite, but it would certainly help if she lost a few pounds. Same went for her mother; Joanne had noticed that Emma had a good bit of padding around her middle where her waistband always looked a little tight.
Women like Emma thought they were doing their daughters a favour, feeding them up, but they were just encouraging poor nutrition, and it was always the children who suffered. You couldn’t blame a child like Maisie for feeling sour when she compared herself to a dainty girl like Piper.
Joanne lifted out the electric whisk and covered the bowl in cling film before popping it into her oversized American-style fridge.
Next she checked on the enormous lasagne that Bahni had made earlier. The cheese topping bubbled in the heat and she was gratified to see it had crisped and browned perfectly in its blue earthenware dish.
She turned off the oven and walked out onto the large balcony.
‘Tea’s ready!’ she called down, amused to see Shaun acting as umpire to the two girls.
He looked up, waved and grinned. She gave an involuntary little shudder, thinking about how his strong, muscular arms would feel wrapped around her later in bed.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Maisie
Maisie curled up in the foetal position and pulled the quilt over her head.
Finally she was back home in bed, in her pyjamas with the door closed. Alone. For the first time that day, she felt like she could actually breathe.
She decided she’d rather have a day at school filled with maths, science and religious studies lessons than go out with Piper and her mum again.
They hated her, and the worst thing was, Dad just couldn’t see it.
‘I don’t like Piper calling me Bigfoot,’ she’d managed to whisper to him as they threw a few practice balls down the alley.
‘She’s only joking, poppet,’ he’d laughed. ‘Try and relax a bit.’
But Piper wasn’t joking. When their parents were busy whispering or staring at each other creepily like they were the only two people in the place, Piper trained her stare on Maisie. When those pretty cornflower-blue eyes narrowed, they looked as sly as a snake’s.
‘You’re going to lose at bowling, clumsy clod Bigfoot,’ she’d hissed. Maisie had almost expected to see a forked tongue flick out of her mouth.
At school, Maisie wasn’t a pushover. If someone upset her, she could give back as good as she got. But it was different being out with them all like this.
She could tell her dad wanted it to go really well. He kept asking if everyone was all right, and his voice sounded like when he spoke to the newspaper editors on the phone. His nice, friendly home voice seemed to have disappeared.
To get her back for the Bigfoot comments, she thought about asking Piper if she’d had her feet bound like the girls had done in China a long time ago. Maisie had learned about it in a history lesson at school and it had played on her mind for ages afterwards.
It would’ve served her right for calling Maisie’s feet big. But just as she was about to say it, Joanne came up fussing around Piper, asking if she was OK.
Somehow Piper was really good at choosing to be nasty when nobody was around to hear her.
Halfway through the game, Maisie remembered the bag of Haribo that Gran had slipped into her bag. She took them out and offered them around.
‘Yuck, no thanks.’ Piper wrinkled her nose. ‘They’re full of E numbers.’
Maisie offered the bag to Joanne.
‘No thanks, sweetie.’ Joanne shook her head. ‘We try not to eat stuff like that. No good for your teeth… or your thighs, for that matter.’ She winked at Shaun and they had a little laugh together.
Her dad had taken a handful, but Maisie put the bag back without having any herself.
Later on, back at Joanne’s posh apartment, they’d played badminton on the lawn. It was a rubbish game because there was a bit too much breeze and it kept blowing the shuttlecock everywhere.
But Piper and Shaun had loved it. They collapsed in giggles when Piper was forced to clamber into the circles of bedding plants dotted around the grass to get the shuttlecock back. It wasn’t even funny.
Then, when her dad made another silly umpiring decision, Maisie heard Piper say, ‘Do it properly, Shaun. Like you did when we played last time!’
Maisie stuck stock still, like a sheet of ice had formed around her limbs.
She’d assumed that this was the first time Piper had met her dad, but it seemed that wasn’t the case. They all already knew each other and that was why Maisie felt like a stranger.
Joanne had made a nice tea, at least. Maisie was starving; she was used to having a few snacks throughout the day.
‘You’re an amazing cook, Jo,’ her dad said, helping himself to more lasagne with gusto. ‘I could definitely get used to eating like this.’
‘Oh, just a little something I rustled up earlier,’ Joanne said, and smiled to herself like she’d told a joke.
‘Can I have a bit more, please?’ Maisie asked.
Joanne and Piper looked up from their own food and watched as her dad placed another big scoop on her plate.
‘Goodness, someone must be hungry,’ Joanne remarked.
Maisie wasn’t sure her mum could make meals like this. It felt sort of disloyal to show she was enjoying it, and for that reason, she left a bit on her plate.
Even she had to admit dessert was delicious, though. Peaches and a very sweet cream to go with it.
She reached for the spoon to take a little more cream.
‘Here’s a teaspoon.’ Joanne took the larger spoon from her and gave her the small one. ‘It’s very rich, sweetie. Best not to overindulge.’
Piper coughed, and when Maisie looked over at her, she puffed air into her cheeks so her face looked fat.
Maisie glanced at her dad for support, but he didn’t seem to notice.
Maisie curled up tighter now, under the covers, and grasped her knees closer to her.
It didn’t sound much to tell someone, all the bits of the day that were playing on her mind. And it wasn’t really what had been said. It was more the horrible feeling that filled her stomach that she was unsure how to deal with.
It was a feeling she hadn’t really felt before. Not a pain, not a sadness… something else.
Something that made her just want to stay home with her mum and her gran and all the things around her that felt familiar and safe.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Emma
I totally expected Maisie to be buzzing with excitement when she got home from her day out.
Looking forward to having her back home, I laid a few snacks out on the coffee table in the kitchen area: crisps, cheese straws, her usual favourites. I envisaged that we’d sit and talk through the day together.
I had a full roster of work scheduled to keep me busy while she was out. The thought of having time to catch up on admin tasks and also finally read through last month’s legal updates bulletin was a luxury I’d been looking forward to.
But in the event, I was unable to tick anything off my to-do list. My mind simply refused to focus, choosing instead to play scenes of what Maisie might be up to, on loop in my head.
Every hour that ticked by, I asked myself, was she happy? Was Shaun looking after her properly? Was Piper behaving?
It was
silly. Even as I was doing it, I knew I had to learn to trust Shaun and trust that Maisie would be OK. She had new people in her life now who she’d forge relationships with.
I had no control over it.
After I’d given myself a bit of a talking-to, the afternoon was slightly more productive, although I did notice I had to keep rereading passages in the legal updates bulletin.
But now Maisie is back home, her face glum and her energy low, and the panic returns.
‘Is she OK?’ I ask Shaun as Maisie slinks past me into the house.
‘Of course she’s OK!’ Shaun says. ‘Probably a bit tired; we’ve packed lots in. I think she’s really enjoyed it.’
‘And Piper…’
‘Piper and Maisie got on brilliantly. You’re worrying again about things that aren’t a problem, Emma. I think it will be good for her to spend time with other people.’
‘Apart from me and my mother, you mean?’
His face darkens and he sighs.
‘I didn’t mean that, but never mind.’ He leans forward. ‘Bye, Maisie, see you soon!’ he calls.
I hear Maisie call goodbye from the kitchen, but she doesn’t come out to wave Shaun off.
I close the door and walk into the kitchen.
‘So, how was it?’
She’s lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling.
‘It was… OK,’ she says without looking at me.
‘What does OK mean?’ I grin and nudge her foot. ‘Details, please.’
‘We went bowling, then went back to Joanne’s apartment for tea.’ Her voice is flat, disinterested.
‘And how was Piper?’
‘She was just her normal Piper self. Irritating.’
Maisie suddenly sits up.
‘I’m really tired, Mum. I think I’ll just go up to my room a while.’
‘Oh!’ I lay my hand on her shoulder as she walks by me. ‘Sure you’re OK, poppet? We can talk about anything you like.’