by K. L. Slater
‘I’m fine,’ she says. ‘Just tired.’
She disappears up the stairs and I’m left standing there, wondering what it is I’m not being told.
Chapter Thirty-Four
The next day I wonder if, in my own mind, I exaggerated Maisie’s awkwardness and Shaun’s reluctance to discuss their outing yesterday.
Yes, Maisie is quiet during the morning, but she’s engrossed in some kind of celebrity site online. We have breakfast together and I refrain from asking anything about her outing yesterday. She doesn’t volunteer any more information but slowly becomes chattier, showing me glitzy short skirts and make-up on the website.
‘I think that stuff’s a little old for you yet, sweetie,’ I say gently, scrolling through my laptop trying to find a case reference that I need.
‘Piper gets loads of stuff from here and she’s only ten.’ She pulls a face. ‘She says all her friends at school do too.’
I look at my daughter, keen to appear reasonable.
‘Tell you what, give me half an hour and then we can take a look together. OK?’
She nods, obviously pleased with my compromise.
A few minutes later, my phone dings. Maisie grabs it and slides it across the worktop.
‘You’ve got a text from Dad.’
I tap the screen and the message content loads.
OK if I take Maisie to the cinema this afternoon? Just the two of us.
‘Yessss!’ Maisie dances around the breakfast bar after snatching the phone back and reading the message. ‘Just me and Dad… that’s awesome!’
I text back saying that it’s fine and that Maisie is very excited. When he collects her just after lunch, he comes to the door.
‘She’s so pleased it’s just the two of you,’ I say in a low voice while Maisie is getting her coat.
‘Well, I figured it’s going to take some time for everyone to feel comfortable together,’ he says sensibly. ‘It’s important I spend time alone with Maisie, too.’
I could hug him, but I don’t. In a way, it’s an admission that perhaps things didn’t quite go to plan yesterday, but I know instinctively that it’s best I don’t question either him or Maisie any further, for the time being.
There’s something else that’s piqued my interest, anyway.
‘Does Piper see her father?’
Shaun shrugs. ‘No. I mean, she can’t. Sadly, he died a few years ago.’
I feel a squeeze on my heart when I think about the casual way I asked Joanne about it. No wonder she changed the subject so quickly.
‘I didn’t know that. What happened?’
He stiffens slightly. Coughs.
‘Joanne is a private person, she wouldn’t want me discussing stuff like that.’
‘I see. Sorry I asked, then.’
It must have been pretty traumatic.
‘No worries,’ he says, brightening again.
I have to admit Shaun looks well. He’s lost a few pounds, and with his obviously new, sleek designer wardrobe, he cuts a stylish figure. It’s a long way from the well-worn tracksuits he favoured just a few weeks ago. He’s not a man who’d be intimidated by being with a woman who is far wealthier than him. He’s just not made that way.
When they’ve gone, I carry on working for a while longer. After that, I flick on the TV and, seeing there’s nothing interesting to watch, decide to pick up on the crime thriller I discarded when all the upheaval started.
As I reach over to close the lid of my laptop, a message pops up on the screen.
Joanne Dent has accepted your friend request.
I’d forgotten about Facebook! I feel a frisson of embarrassment that it’s taken Joanne this long to accept it. Perhaps she would rather not be friends online.
My logic at the time was that perhaps she might post some photographs from their day out at the bowling centre. I thought it might put my mind at rest if I could see that Maisie was relaxed and enjoying herself.
I click on the notification and the screen loads with her profile page, once sparse but now populated with a grid of photographs. Joanne smiling in selfies, Joanne with Piper at home and at various other places, and the most recent one, which makes me draw in a sharp breath, Joanne, Shaun, Maisie and Piper together.
I tap on the picture and it fills my phone screen. Shaun obviously took the selfie in front of the bowling alley before they went inside.
I stare at the four faces. Three of them happy, one… not so much.
Maisie said the outing was just ‘OK’. To anyone else, she is smiling just like the others, but I’m not fooled. Her eyes look troubled and I’d say she’s simply showing her teeth, rather than actually smiling.
But it does strike me that they look like a proper family: two sisters with their parents. Maisie is dark-haired compared to Piper’s silvery-blonde locks, but then Shaun and Joanne have opposite hair colourings too.
The four of them look like they belong together. A brand-new family, just starting out.
The photograph seems to grip me in a sort of trance. I want to close Facebook, to un-see the picture, but it’s too late for that.
My fingers tremble slightly and the bottom of my back feels damp. It’s silly I should feel so unsettled.
There’s a sharp rap at the door and I freeze. I’m not expecting anyone.
I could just ignore whoever it is. I’m not in the mood to face anyone right now.
Then I hear a key rattle in the lock and the door begins to slowly open.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Twenty-four years earlier
The problem is that you never quite know what is and isn’t acceptable on any given day.
Yesterday, leaving food on your plate went unnoticed. Last week, it earned you a bedroom lock-in so long that when you vomited with fear, nothing came up at all. Your stomach was completely empty.
Today’s punishment has been given because your father found mud on the bottom of your shoes. But who is to blame? You know the rule about dirty shoes and you flouted it.
There is hardly any light left at all in the sky now. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to breathe normally, but you can’t seem to get enough air into your lungs.
And then you hear your mother’s footsteps on the stairs.
One… two… three and pause.
Please, no, you pray silently. Please don’t let it be that.
But when she opens the door, smiling and holding the tray, you know that it is no use praying any longer.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Val
When she called round unannounced to drop off a few laundered items of Maisie’s school uniform that had been left at her house, it was a shock to find Emma in a bit of a state.
Emma tried to put a brave face on it, but Val was her mother, for goodness’ sake. She immediately spotted her daughter’s red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks, despite Emma’s hasty attempts to wipe away the evidence.
‘Whatever’s wrong?’ Val laid her granddaughter’s folded skirt and blouse on the stairs and embraced Emma. ‘Is everything all right?’
She scanned the kitchen over Emma’s shoulder and saw there was no sign of Maisie.
‘I’m fine, Mum.’ Emma sniffed. ‘Come through and have a drink with me.’
Emma stood at the counter while Val filled the kettle. She let the water run for a couple of seconds, noticing a half-finished glass of wine on the kitchen top.
‘Shaun has taken Maisie to the cinema.’
‘So you’ve got some time to yourself. That’s nice,’ Val said cautiously, glancing around the kitchen, which seemed to be in more disarray than usual.
Now that her life was busier, Val mostly picked Maisie up and looked after her at her own small bungalow in Ruddington.
She had a very slow Internet connection there that made online browsing unreliable. That was useful in that Val sometimes managed to get Maisie out in the garden in the warmer months, walking around the local park or even popping to the local tea room
s for a slice of cake. In the cooler weather, they’d complete jigsaws together, bake or watch a nature programme on television.
Anything was better than Maisie sitting constantly glued to her computer, coveting the lives of strangers, like she did at home.
Consequently, Val hadn’t seen as much of Emma’s house recently. It seemed to have deteriorated quite rapidly.
Emma followed Val’s line of vision.
‘I know it’s a bit of a mess in here, Mum. I’m going to get it sorted this weekend.’
Val avoided pointing out that it was already Sunday afternoon and there wasn’t much of the weekend left.
‘If you’re struggling, then you’ve only got to say,’ she said gently. ‘I can bring my rubber gloves and we’ll get it done together in no time.’
‘I know. Thanks.’ Emma sniffed. ‘I’ve just got a lot on at the moment, that’s all.’
She glanced down at her phone and Val spotted the photograph.
‘Oh, that’s… Maisie.’ Her voice faltered. ‘And Shaun.’
‘And his perfect new girlfriend and her daughter,’ Emma added somewhat sourly. ‘Shaun’s new family.’
‘I wouldn’t look at it like that.’ Val spooned coffee into two mugs and poured hot water in. ‘Maisie has you and she has her dad. It’s too soon for any new families to be formed, love.’
Emma looked at the photograph wistfully. ‘They look happy, though, don’t they?’
‘I’m not sure Maisie looks that impressed.’ Val wrinkled her nose. ‘Did she enjoy herself yesterday?’
They took their drinks over to the comfy seats.
‘I don’t think so, not really. But she wouldn’t say much about it. Neither would Shaun.’
‘I see.’ Val sipped her coffee thoughtfully. ‘I could try asking her about it, just a gentle nudge.’
‘I don’t want her to be upset, Mum. She’ll speak when she’s ready.’
Val looked at Emma and tipped her head to one side. Her daughter’s skin looked dry and grey. Her eyes were constantly darting around the room. Anywhere but settling on Val’s face.
‘Are you sleeping, Emmeline?’
‘On and off.’ She shrugged.
Val’s eyes fluttered around Emma’s face and hands.
‘You’re not… going down that road again, are you?’ Her tone was fearful. ‘It’s just you look—’
‘No! Of course I’m not.’
‘Promise me that if things get that bad again you’ll tell me.’
‘I will.’ Emma stood up and walked over to the breakfast bar. ‘I’m sorry, Mum. I have to get this work done.’
Val pulled away from the kerb and drove down the road.
A few years ago, Emma had become hooked on prescription sleeping pills and was secretly popping them during the day when Shaun was at work. Val had spotted the awful condition of her skin, and that was when Emma had confessed to the problem.
Val knew Emmeline wouldn’t thank her, but if things didn’t improve, she’d have to ring Shaun. It was important he was aware of any warning signs.
Lord knew, he was probably very distracted at the present time.
Val had been shocked at how attractive his new woman, Joanne, was. She wasn’t really sure what she’d expected her to look like, but she seemed confident and very sorted. Emma, on the other hand, seemed like she was in danger of beginning to fade away, just like last time.
Both Val and Shaun knew how quickly it could happen, and how utterly devastating it would be for everyone involved if Emma lapsed.
For Maisie’s sake, it had to be avoided at any cost.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Maisie
Maisie squealed and ran ahead of her dad out of the cinema.
He was pretending to be a giant robot again and people were staring. She wanted to die with embarrassment, but at the same time, it was so funny!
She yelped with pleasure as he caught up with her and captured her in his arms from behind. He started talking in that weird robot voice he did, and he was so loud, everyone could hear!
‘NOW YOU MUST BE TICKLED TO DEATH!’
‘Dad, please,’ she gasped, struggling for breath now. ‘Stop.’
‘Sorry, poppet.’ His arms quickly fell away and he produced her inhaler from his pocket. ‘I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have tickled you.’
She pressed and breathed in deeply a couple of times.
‘I’m fine now.’ She grinned, handing the inhaler back to him. ‘And before you ask… I won’t tell Mum.’
‘Phew.’ He wiped his forehead dramatically. ‘I reckon I’m in enough bother with her as it is.’
They’d had a great time watching the film. They had laughed, Maisie had cried at a sad bit, and her dad had laughed at that too. They’d eaten too much popcorn and drunk too much fizzy pop. It had been brilliant.
‘Next stop: the milkshake parlour.’
‘Really?’ Maisie’s heart soared. She’d assumed her dad would drive her straight back home after the film because it was a school day tomorrow.
‘Another hour out won’t hurt, and besides, I have a surprise for you.’
‘What is it?’ She stuffed her knuckles in her mouth with the pure anticipation.
‘You’ll see.’ He pushed open the door to the parlour and let Maisie walk in first. ‘Ta-dah! Well, look who’s here.’
‘Hello, Maisie, how nice to see you again,’ Joanne said.
She and Piper were sitting at a table for four next to the window.
‘Hello,’ Maisie said, looking up at her dad.
‘I thought it would be nice for us all to meet up for a milkshake after we had such a lovely day yesterday.’ Her dad winked at her.
Maisie nodded and forced a smile. Piper had her head down, tapping away on a mini iPad, playing some sort of game.
‘Piper. Say hi to Maisie.’ Joanne nudged her.
‘Hi,’ Piper mumbled without looking away from her game.
Joanne stood up. ‘We’ll get the shakes in while you girls catch up here. Strawberry or banana, Maisie?’
‘Strawberry, please,’ Maisie said in a small voice.
There was a short queue at the counter and Maisie watched as her dad and Joanne joined it. He slid his arm around her waist and she turned her face up to kiss him. Just like her Mum used to do, a long time ago now.
She glanced across at Piper’s game. Remembered what Miss Diane always told them about making conversation with new students at the dance school to make them feel welcome.
‘I like Candy Crush,’ she said. ‘What level have you got to?’
‘Don’t speak to me while I’m playing!’ Piper snapped, and then groaned. She tossed the iPad down on the table and covered her face. ‘You made me go wrong. Idiot.’
‘Sorry I spoke,’ Maisie snapped, her face reddening.
‘Have you got an iPad?’ Piper asked spitefully.
‘No, but I’m allowed to use my mum’s.’
‘That’s rubbish. I have an iPad mini and a big iPad Pro, too. They belong to me; I don’t have to share them with anyone at all.’
‘Lucky you,’ Maisie mumbled.
‘Do you have horse-riding lessons?’
‘No, but I’d like to.’
‘I have my own pony at the stables in Papplewick. His name is Chester and I have a whole shelf of trophies and rosettes in my bedroom at home that we’ve won together.’
‘Cool! Can I see Chester when I come over?’ Maisie asked, suddenly excited. ‘I’d like to see your trophies too, Piper.’
‘You can see him, but you can’t ride on him.’
‘Why not?’ Maisie frowned.
Piper glanced at their parents, still standing in the queue. ‘Because you’re too fat, silly. You’d completely flatten poor Chester.’ She laughed loudly, like she was on stage.
Joanne turned round and smiled over at them.
‘Stop being mean, or I’ll tell on you.’ Maisie felt her eyes prickle, so she stuck her fingernails into her p
alms to make it go away.
Piper smirked. ‘Tell on me for telling the truth?’
There were a few moments of silence. Maisie thought about joining her dad and Joanne at the counter.
‘Have you got any real precious stones in your jewellery box?’ Piper asked, turning to stare at Maisie.
Maisie hesitated. Maybe Piper wanted to be friends after all.
‘I’ve got a pretty cubic zirconia necklace my gran bought me for my birthday,’ she said with a little smile. ‘The stone is set into a real silver heart.’
‘That’s just a fake gem; it isn’t worth anything, silly. I’ve got a real diamond necklace and a solid gold bracelet with a real ruby in it.’ Piper chewed the inside of her cheek and rolled her eyes up, thinking for a moment. ‘Let’s see. Have you got a—’
‘It’s my turn now,’ Maisie said smartly. She was fed up of being the one who answered all the time.
‘Ha! You haven’t got anything I haven’t got.’ Piper stuck out her tongue.
‘I might have.’
‘Go on then.’ Piper sniffed smugly. ‘Try me!’
Maisie sat up a bit straighter and said clearly, ‘Have you got a dad?’
Piper suddenly looked exactly like Casper the ghost. She dropped her head back, opened her mouth and let out a massively loud howl.
The whole parlour came to a standstill as everyone – staff and customers – turned to stare.
Suddenly Joanne was pushing past Maisie to reach Piper, who started to sob.
‘Sweetie, what’s wrong?’ She looked at Maisie. ‘What happened?’
‘We were just playing a game.’ Maisie shrugged. ‘Then Piper started howling like a wolf.’
‘She… she said I haven’t got a dad,’ Piper wailed, burying her face in Joanne’s side.
‘Maisie, is this true?’ Her dad’s face was one big frown as he put a tray of tall glasses on the table.
He never got angry with Maisie, but she thought he looked pretty close to it right now.
‘Th-that’s what she said,’ Piper stammered between sobs. ‘Sh-she said she has a d-dad and I don’t.’