The Detective's Last Case

by Gerald Lopez

  “You do realize he worked for me, don’t you, Gabriel?” Naomi said.

  “Yeah,” Gabriel said, confused. “But you were wrong earlier, Aunt Naomi. A job is just a job. It doesn’t make you who you are. And I won’t think of you or Arnou as bad people—not ever. If I didn’t have people watching over me I may have had to do the same thing to support Galen and myself.”

  “That’s true,” the detective said.

  “You’re too smart for that,” Naomi said.

  “Sometimes being smart isn’t everything,” Gabriel said. “You’re smart, and Arnou’s not stupid, and he’s really good-looking. He used what he had to make it in life.”

  “Everything you just said is true,” the detective said.

  “When can we go see the house and downtown buildings I got for my birthday?” Gabriel said.

  “You’re scheduled to meet with lawyers regarding Chambers’ will tomorrow afternoon,” Naomi said.

  “Aunt Naomi, will you come with me, Galen, Pops, and Papa to the lawyer’s office tomorrow?” Gabriel said.

  “I can manage that,” Naomi said. “And I have the day after the reading of the will free to drive all of you to see your birthday present house and buildings.”

  “Can you take that day off?” the detective said to Walter.

  “Yes,” Walter said.

  “Then it’s a date,” Naomi said. “Seems like perfect timing.”

  “Timing!” the detective said. “That’s the real key to everything happening here.”

  Chapter 34

  Curves

  “TIMING?” WALTER SAID.

  “Yes,” the detective said, then stood. “Some thing or things have set other ‘things’ in motion here.”

  “Oh I understand,” Naomi said. “There were triggers that caused things to happen. One of those ‘things’ being the death of Chambers.”

  “So what was the event or occurrence that triggered everything?” Augustine said.

  “I have a theory about that,” the detective said, “and the possible factor in common. The death of Dolores aka. the bitch.”

  “Her funeral was about the time the dancing man murders first occurred,” Naomi said. “I remember because the first victim had sold Chambers a flower for my hair the night she was killed. That was the same day Dolores’ funeral was held.”

  “But that was a few weeks ago and Chambers was only recently murdered,” Walter said.

  “Oh my God,” Naomi said. “You think the dancing man killer and Chambers’ murderer are one and the same.”

  “I’m beginning to suspect that’s the case, despite the victims being completely different types,” the detective said.

  “There’s something I remember too,” Augustine said.

  “What?” Naomi said.

  “The funeral for Dolores was the same day that Father Albion’s wife and daughter had their funeral five years ago,” Augustine said.

  “But that wasn’t held here,” Naomi said. “How do you know about it?”

  “He told me,” Augustine said. “Dolores’ funeral was too much for him and he was having a crisis of faith.”

  “How so?” the detective said.

  “The funeral had the priest missing the more carnal side of his life with his wife and he was considering visiting this house,” Augustine said.

  “You mean he had gone without sex for five years and was horny,” Gabriel said.

  “Exactly,” Augustine said.

  “But he never came here,” Naomi said.

  “Maybe he took his frustration out in a different—more deadly way,” Walter said.

  “But he had no reason to kill Chambers,” Gabriel said. “Did he?”

  “I’m not sure,” the detective said. “How did Father Albion feel about other men who gave into their lusts? And how was he as a dancer?”

  “Are Episcopal priests even allowed to dance?” Gabriel said.

  “I don’t remember ever seeing him dancing,” Naomi said. “Augustine, how frustrated did Father Albion seem to you?”

  “Pretty frustrated,” Augustine said.

  “We’ve been gone a while, Pops,” Gabriel said. “Galen will get worried.”

  “OK, time to head out, family,” the detective said.

  LUCIE HAD GONE for a walk, and Adele was in the kitchen fixing herself a cup of coffee. She had just grabbed a cookie when there was a knock on the door.

  “Did you forget your key, dear?” Adele said as she walked to the front door. She looked through the peephole and was surprised by who she saw. After checking her hair in a nearby mirror she opened the door “Father Albion, what an unexpected surprise.”

  “Aren’t most surprises unexpected?” Father Albion said.

  “Most maybe but not all. Would you like some coffee and cake?”

  “I’d love some,” Father Albion said, then followed Adele to the kitchen. “Where is Lucie?”

  “She went for a walk and to visit Queenie,” Adele said, then retrieved a coffee cup from a cabinet. “Have a seat, Father.”

  “Thank you,” Father Albion said. “How are you feeling?”

  “Fine, thank you.”

  Adele looked at the priest as she poured him a cup of coffee. He was more attractive than she’d ever realized. And although he was a bit thin, he was in good shape. She handed Father Albion his cup of coffee then sat down.

  “Oh, shoot, I left the cake on the counter,” Adele said.

  “I’ll get it,” Father Albion said, then stood. “Poor Maxime was a little upset when you and Lucie left.”

  “He’s young and hasn’t had many life experiences,” Adele said.

  “By that you mean he hasn’t had many experiences with the opposite sex. I need a knife to cut the cake with.”

  “The knives are in the drawer right below the counter the cake is on. What kind of a woman was your wife, Father?”

  “A good one,” Father Albion said as he opened the drawer and reached for a knife. “And there are such few good women in this world.” The knife felt cold as he gripped the handle of it tightly.

  Adele looked at the priest and gasped.

  GABRIEL NEED NOT have worried. Galen was happily playing with three puppies alongside Louise on the floor of his room while Arnou and François watched.

  “You,” the detective said to Arnou. “We gotta go—business calls.”

  The detective headed out, and Arnou followed him to Walter’s car.

  “You drive, we have people to visit,” the detective said.

  While Arnou drove, the detective spoke.

  “Father Albion or Maxime—who’s our killer? Who’s the bad dancer?”

  “I’ve never even seen Father Albion dance,” Arnou said.

  ADELE HAD TO hold Father Albion’s hand hard to keep it down. He wanted to raise it again but she wouldn’t allow him to.

  “I know it stings, Father, but if I don’t wash that cut it might get infected.”

  “It was so careless of me to cut myself on the knife when using it on the cake,” Father Albion said. “My wife used to make a similar cake and the memories came flooding back to my mind.”

  “It’s alright, Father,” Adele said. “Let me apply some antiseptic.”

  He jumped when she put it on. Adele helped him to a seat, then brought him a piece of cake.

  “You’re so kind, Adele.”

  “Nonsense,” Adele said. “I’m an old fool is what I am. And slightly insane to be chasing after a young man like Maxime.

  “Young men can’t appreciate all that a woman like you can offer,” Father Albion said.

  “Well, Maxime certainly didn’t appreciate what I had to offer. I guess at my age I’m no longer in my prime. Who am I kidding? Lucie was right about my breasts. What do you think, Father Albion?”

  “About what?”

  “My breasts,” She stood up from her chair. “They were out on full display when you walked into Maxime’s waiting room.”

  “That’s alright. I did
n’t see anything. But I’m sure your breasts are just fine.”

  “Now you’re the one being kind,” Adele said. “But as a man of God you’re not allowed to lie, are you?”

  “We’re not supposed to.”

  “Good then you can tell me the truth about these,” Adele said, then bared her breasts.

  Father Albion raised his napkin up to cover his face, but then stopped and looked.

  “Those are nicer than I thought they’d be,” Father Albion said. “Not a blemish on them and no freckles. But, we shouldn’t be doing this, Adele.”

  “Again!” Lucie said, as she walked into the kitchen. “And with a priest no less.”

  “Ladies, please,” Father Albion said.

  “My breasts are bigger than hers, Father,” Lucie said, and bared her breasts.”

  “Oh Lord, help me,” Father Albion said.

  “Whose breasts are the best, Father?” Adele said.

  “I really can’t say,” Father Albion said.

  “That’s because you haven’t had a close look, Father,” Adele said, then sat on Father Albion’s lap. “Or a good feel.” She put his hands on her breasts.

  “Mine are more than just a handful,” Lucie said, then walked up to Father Albion and put his hands on her breasts. “They taste good too.” She pushed Father Albion’s head down onto her breasts.

  “Mine are just as good,” Adele said, then pushed the priest’s head onto her breasts.

  “After years of nothing, now a sudden abundance of goods,” Father Albion said, and began sucking and chewing on the sisters’ breasts, alternating between the two like a starving man. Then he suddenly stopped. “What am I doing? God help me.” He reared up and knocked a plate off a shelf above him. It broke over his head and he was out cold on the floor.

  “What do we do?” Lucie said after checking Father Albion. “What do we do?”

  “We’ve got to get him out of here,” Adele said. “He can’t be seen leaving our home in the morning.”

  “I KNOW THAT Maxime never danced again after Dolores trashed him in front of everybody,” Arnou said. “It really affected him at the time.”

  “And maybe it still does,” the detective said.

  “I won’t let you down, Sir. Just let me know what to do.”

  “I’ll do that. And thanks for watching Galen while we were out.”

  “He’s a great kid,” Arnou said. “We’re here. This is Father Albion’s chapel, but it looks dark inside.”

  “I’ll go and see if he’s in there. You keep an eye on things out here.”

  The detective got out of the car and headed toward the chapel. It was open so he went inside.

  THE LITTLE GIRL walked down the dark alley by herself. Her brother had been with her, but he stopped in one of the bars to flirt with the girls. The girl was scared, and jumped when she heard a noise.

  “Bad kitty,” she said in French when a black cat jumped out in front of her.

  “I KNOW WHAT we’ll do,” Adele said, as she rearranged her top to cover her breasts again. “We’ll put Father Albion in big brother’s old car, and drop him off at the chapel.”

  “We can’t lift him on our own, and what if the car doesn’t start?”

  “Big brother made me start that stupid car every day to keep the battery charged or some such thing,” Adele said.

  “But neither of us drive, Adele.”

  “How difficult can it be? There’s a gas pedal and a brake. Cover those udders up, Lucie. I’m going next door to get Mercedes to help.”

  “I have a bad feeling about this,” Lucie said.

  “What else could possibly go wrong?” Adele said.

  Chapter 35

  Killers Plural

  “NOT ANOTHER ONE,” Mercedes said when she looked at Father Albion lying on the floor of the sisters’ kitchen.

  “He’s not dead,” Lucie said. “A plate just fell on his head, and we can’t have people see him leaving our house in the morning. They would talk, as you well know.”

  “That’s true,” Mercedes said. “Luckily my husband isn’t home. He can be a blabbermouth since retiring. What’s the plan?”

  “We get him down to big brother’s car, put him in the backseat, then drive him to the chapel where we’ll leave him,” Adele said.

  “After making sure he’s awake when we get there,” Lucie said.

  “Of course, but why not wake him now?” Mercedes said.

  “Because he won’t feel good, and he’ll want to stay,” Adele said. “You know how men don’t understand these things.”

  “That’s true.” Mercedes said. “Can’t we just put a rug under him and drag him to the door?”

  “Yes but we can’t drag him to the car,” Lucie said.

  “Damn,” Mercedes said. “Let’s just do this.”

  “WAS FATHER ALBION in the chapel?” Arnou said.

  “No, but someone was in there minding the chapel for him,” the detective said.

  “So what now, Sir? Do we go see Maxime?”

  “No need. He’s supposed to come by the chapel to check things for Corinne’s viewing tomorrow. Father Albion should be back soon, as well.”

  “So we’re perfectly placed for now,” Arnou said.

  “Correct,” the detective said.

  “WATCH HIS HEAD,” Lucie said, as they dragged Father Albion to the front door. “We already banged it against the kitchen wall.”

  “He’s out anyway,” Adele said. “Now we need to stand him up. I’ll get one side of him, you get on the other Lucie. Mercedes, help us keep him upright.”

  “I’ll try,” Mercedes said.

  With some struggling, they managed to stand the priest up, and while supporting hin with their arms, they got him out the door to the car. Mercedes sat in the back with Father Albion, while Adele got in the driver’s seat, and Lucie in the front passenger side. Adele put the key in the ignition and started the car.

  “Give me a minute to find the gas pedal,” Adele said.

  “I think you have to take the brake off first,” Mercedes said. “I’ve seen drivers do that.”

  “Take it easy on the gas,” Lucie said.

  Adele stepped on the gas, and revved up the car.

  “Why aren’t we moving yet?” Adele said.

  “You have the emergency brake, on thank God,” Mercedes said. “You need to put the car in reverse before you step on the gas.”

  “I see the emergency brake,” Lucie said. “OK, I turned it off for you, Adele. Make sure to put the car in reverse.”

  “Alright, here we go,” Adele said, then put the car in reverse and stepped on the gas.

  The women screamed as the car quickly flew back in reverse.

  “Take your foot off the gas, Adele!” Mercedes said.

  Adele screamed, then took her foot of the gas pedal.

  “Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed so hard on the pedal,” Adele said.

  “Ya think?” Lucie said.

  “Now take it out of reverse and put it in drive,” Mercedes said.

  “OK,” Adele said, then struggled to put the car in drive, and stepped lightly on the gas.

  Adele continued forward while stepping on and off the gas, causing them a very bumpy ride.

  “I’m gonna be sick,” Mercedes said.

  “So am I,” Lucie said.

  THE MINUTE SHE heard the music playing, the little girl’s heart raced and she ran down the alley.

  “DID YOU HEAR that?” Arnou said, while he stood outside the chapel with the detective.

  “Yeah, I did. It sounded like a scream—a little girl’s scream,” the detective said. “But it echoes.”

  “She’s in an alley, that’s why,” Arnou said.

  “Can you trace where the scream came from?”

  “I think so,” Arnou said. “Follow me.”

  THE LITTLE GIRL ran but he was too quick and almost on top of her.

  “TURN HERE!” LUCIE said to Adele.

  “You missed the
turn again,” Mercedes said. “Take the next left.”

  “It’s hard to turn this thing,” Adele said, “but I’ll try.”

  She managed to take the next left, but ended up driving down a cobblestone street.

  “IT HAD TO HAVE come from down this way,” Arnou said, as he ran by the detective’s side toward where the girl’s scream had come from.

  “I DON’T WANT any candy,” the little girl said as she looked into his eyes. “Please let me go. I’m not a good dancer, and I don’t want to die.” She started to cry as the man cornered her and pushed her against a brick wall.

  “I’VE HAD ENOUGH of this cobblestone road,” Adele said, then stepped hard on the gas.

  The little girl heard a car coming, and screamed loudly. Arnou and the detective heard the scream and ran toward it. They were close now.

  “Car!” the little girl said.

  Her assailant turned to look, and got kicked in the crotch by the girl who ran.

  “Stop!” the man yelled.

  “Oh my God!” Lucie said, when she saw a child run into the street in front of them.

  “Step on the brake!” Mercedes said.

  Adele got flustered, and stepped hard on the gas by mistake, then she turned the steering wheel to avoid hitting the people who suddenly appeared from a side alley. The car spun, but the detective managed to pick up the little girl and push Arnou out of the way. Someone else wasn’t as lucky. The girl’s assailant was crushed by the car, as it took a sudden turn and hit him and the brick wall behind him.

  The women were still screaming when the car finally stopped, and Lucie pulled the key out of the ignition.

  “Is everyone alright!” Lucie said.

  “Yes,” Mercedes said.

  “Oh my God!” Lucie said, as she looked ahead. “You killed someone, Adele!”