Manannan Trilogy

by Michele McGrath

  On the last evening I spent there, I drank some of their bitter ale, toasting them for their hospitality. They returned the toast, thanking me for my work. They had no other means of paying me, but I was content. I needed their knowledge and they gave it to me freely. They asked me to tell some more of my stories. I thanked Odin my mother spent many a dark night telling me the tales of her people. The villagers enjoyed hearing me tell them again, although everyone knew what happened as well as I did. They also laughed at the funny things I related about my travels. Afterwards, I began to doze. Then the talk turned once again to the sickness. They had spoken about it before, because it was the most important event of the last winter and it had killed so many. This time, though, they mentioned a man who healed many people. I pricked up my ears and I must have looked surprised.

  Carbry, one of the fishermen asked me, “Haven’t you heard about this magician then?”

  “I heard, but I thought someone had just made up a story. Is it true?”

  “Yes.” Carbry nodded. “Sharry told me and I believe him. His wife recovered, when no one expected her to live. None of us knew about the magician in time to ask him for help. Ten good people died here, that’s why we’re in the sad state we’re in.”

  “Tell me more about him. What’s his name?” I asked lazily. The tale sounded like a good one for a dark evening, although I don’t believe in magicians. Most of them are rogues who prey on people.

  “McLir they call him.”

  I sat up at that, for I’d heard of someone by that name once, in my father’s house. “There was a man called McLir in the western island, but he disappeared years ago. No one ever found out where he went.”

  “Perhaps he’s the same man.” Jinn, Carbry’s wife said. “He’s not been here long. He might have come from the west. A girl saw him arrive and it was only a year ago.”

  “Can you describe him?”

  “I haven’t seen him myself, none of us have,” Jinn said. “Sharry told us he’s a stocky man with black hair turning grey. He has a huge dog that seems to understand every word he says.”

  “He sounds very like the same man. He, too, had a dog the same as the one you’re describing. Where is he living?”

  “No one knows. He arrives in his boat, does what he has to do and disappears again. I’ve seen him come and go,” Flaxney, Carbry’s son, told me.

  “What does he do when he’s ashore?”

  “He picks certain plants and digs up rocks and soil. Several people have watched him and his dog, miles away from the beach, digging and gathering. Why he wants such things, I wouldn’t know.”

  “He sometimes takes that girl with him now,” murmured Jinn. “She’s Oshin’s daughter and a friend of Sharry’s wife. They say the magician bewitched her and stole her away from her kin.”

  “What are you talking about, woman? Sharry didn’t say anything like that. He said she was glad enough to go when she got the chance. Her father’s been a brute to her, because she wouldn’t marry the man he wanted her to but that’s no reason to run away.”

  “Sharry’s right. He’s not a nice man, Oshin.”

  “You hardly know him,” Carbry protested, “and Sharry talks rubbish more often than not.”

  “He didn’t this time. Vorena’s from the same village. She’s my husband’s cousin and she told me Oshin gives Feena, his wife, a very hard time and the daughter too. If I were a woman in his house, I’d be glad enough to get out.”

  “Don’t listen to Jinn. Time enough for a lass to leave her home when she’s decently wed, that’s what I say. No one should be enchanted away by some magician, so she forgets who she is and her own people.”

  “How would I get to meet this man if I wanted to do so?”

  “Why do you want to? I wouldn’t go anywhere near him, if I were you.” Jinn shuddered.

  “I’m curious. I’ve never met a man who could heal the sick, as this man apparently can.”

  “It’s risky dealing with magicians. He might turn you into a bat or a frog, if you said something to displease him.”

  “I’ll take my chance. I’m not afraid of any man, and I can speak softly enough when I need to. I want to find out what he’s like. Perhaps he can give me something to ease the pain in my back.”

  “You wouldn’t be in pain if you weren’t carrying that big pack around all the time. Stay with us and you’ll be cured, right enough. No need to bother about magicians or their potions. We’ve room for you here if you want,” Carbry offered.

  “I’ve already mended all the things you needed mending. What else could I do here? I’m not a fisherman or a farmer, so I must go where the work is to earn my living. I can always come back again, if you want me to. Who knows, this magician may even have something for me to do for him.”

  “Anything he’s broken, he can fix for himself, that’s for sure. He doesn’t need a metalworker when he has magic. You watch out for yourself, if your paths cross. Carry some keirn or rowan in your pocket to avert his evil eye.”

  “Don’t worry, I will.”

  I had no intention of carrying rowan or anything else. I don’t believe in the evil eye. Although, if this man found a cure for the sickness as everyone agreed, he must be clever. I was curious about him, but I had another reason entirely for wanting to seek him out. The tale about a man called McLir, which I’d heard in the western island, was unusual. He once fought with a man named Sétanta. A blood feud lay between them, the cause of which I did not remember. McLir had the worst of the encounter and took flight. Sétanta, by a strange chance, I knew. I met him some years ago when he visited my father and he told us the tale. He lived not far from us, beyond the eastern hills. Sétanta was still looking for McLir and perhaps I could get word to him. He would no doubt be interested to find out his present whereabouts, for he had lost sight of him entirely. Sétanta’s rich and powerful, a sturdy warrior and well able to reward those who help him. Before I sent him word, though, I thought I’d make sure this magician was the same man.

  When I left, my father gave me no orders about where to search. He always left such details up to me. I could search in the north, as well as the south. So I decided to go to the place this magician was most likely to be and to look at the lands around. We had seen them from the sea as we sailed along the shore. A line of flat green fields lay north of the mountains. With luck, I would have more than one piece of good news to report to Dag, on the first night the new moon rose.

  16

  Renny’s Story

  McLir and I went out early one morning, for I wanted to gather watercress from a nearby stream. McLir also needed a number of herbs, because our stocks had run low. He did not tell me where he was going; only that he would be some time. I did not ask, because we both liked our privacy from time to time. We were happy to be apart for a short while. Shea went with him as usual. He always followed McLir, unless he was given a direct order to stay with me.

  I went to the stream and I walked up through the water towards the hills. I gathered huge handfuls of watercress and put them into my basket. It was heavy and dripping by the time I had finished. So I was glad to put it down to have a short rest. I felt tired, because my sleep had become restless again. I lay back on the grass, listening to the bees in the summer flowers. Their humming sounded so peaceful; I drifted off to sleep. I do not know how long I slept, but I awoke to the sound of water splashing nearby. I had a sudden spurt of alarm; not knowing who or what had made the sound. The noise was too loud for a bird or a small animal. I drew back behind some bushes and peered out between their branches. McLir stood in the middle of the stream, with his back to me, washing himself in the cool water. I had never seen his naked body in all the time I lived with him. It made my heart throb, and I had again that strange hot feeling between my legs. He had not heard me, and I saw no sign of Shea, who would certainly betray me.

  I had not meant to spy, but I’d been curious about McLir for such a long time. You cannot live with a man without wondering
what sort of a body lies hidden beneath his robes. Or, at least, I can’t. McLir had left the suppleness of youth behind him, but he was strong and well made. His skin looked pale, as if it rarely saw the sun, and was covered in fine dark hair. He had not removed the torc he always wore around his throat. The red gold flashed when he moved in and out of the rays of sunlight. The muscles in his buttocks contracted as he bent down to cup water in his hands and splash himself. I went hot and cold at the same time. Emotions I had never felt before tumbled through my mind, out of my control. I realised how much I loved this man. I had loved him almost from the first. More importantly, I wanted him in the way a woman wants a man, now – immediately – as he stood clean and fresh in the stream.

  McLir moved warily over the stony bed of the little river. He went to pick up his clothes, but he remained with his back towards me. When, at last, he did turn, I almost gasped aloud. A livid white scar puckered his skin, from his breastbone down to the top of his thigh. He had been terribly injured sometime in the past. Amazingly he had lived.

  My first reaction was pity and I whimpered. The slight noise betrayed me, because he whipped round and caught up his sword. He had left it on the bank while he bathed.

  “Renny!” He dropped the sword, when he realised it was only me, grasping instead for his cloak. He clutched the fabric against him, hiding himself from my view.

  “Don’t cover yourself,” I cried, “please don’t. Your body is all a man’s should be.” I walked forward towards him, my arms held out. I was alight with all the love I had for him. I don’t know what made me do it. Although I’d imagined this scene repeatedly, I never believed I had such courage in reality. I tugged hard at the lacings of my tunic until my breasts were bare. But he did not respond to me in the way I hoped.

  “Renny, don’t!” He retreated away from me, gripping his cloak so hard his fingers went white. A rush of hot blood made my cheeks flame, but I had gone too far to stop. I had revealed myself to him now, so I had to fight on for what I wanted so urgently.

  “Why not?” I asked, “I love you, I think I always have. I’m offering myself to you, if you’ll take me!”

  “I can’t!” His words came out strangled, at once understanding and distraught.

  “Why not? What harm is there?”

  “I’m not like other men, who are able to love a woman and be loved in return. If I lie with you or any other woman, I’ll lose part of my magic forever.”

  “How?” I asked, refusing to believe his words. “Your magic is only the knowledge of plants and soils and creatures, as you told me yourself. How can it be taken from you, simply because you lie with me?”

  “My magic is more than that, as you once witnessed. My visions would never come again and leave me defenceless against my enemies.”

  “Why?” I could not keep the uncertainty from my tone.

  “I can’t tell you why, but, believe me, what I say is true.” McLir sounded definite.

  “Did you never..?”

  “Never. Once, a long time ago, I took a wife, called Fand. She was like you in some ways. Her hair also flamed as the bracken does in autumn, though her eyes were green not grey. I was prepared to give up everything for her, my magic, my healing and my travels. I wanted to lead a normal life and even to have children. Fand seemed to want those things too. At the ceremony itself, she stood beside me and became my wife at last. Then a group of men rode up and attacked us.”

  “What happened?”

  “A man called Sétanta led the attackers. My kin and I fought against them. They’d taken us by surprise, but I almost won my duel with Sétanta until I heard Fand scream. I looked round instinctively to find out what had happened to her. My attention was distracted, and that’s how I came by my scar. I fell and others fell with me. Sétanta and his people killed ten of my kin and injured many more.”

  “I’m surprised you lived with an injury like that...”

  “I almost didn’t, but the man who tended me was skilful. I wanted desperately to live, I suppose, because I didn’t know then what had happened to Fand. I loved her with all the intensity of my youth. Many months passed before I recovered – and found out she had never cared for me in return.”

  “What happened to her?” I almost choked, as I asked. He must have loved her very much, far more than he would ever let himself care for me.

  “Fand wasn’t as fortunate as I was. She was caught up in the battle as she tried to get away. A blow from my cousin’s sword killed her. He had drawn back to thrust at his attacker. She was too near him, when he made his swing. The sword’s edge slashed her in the throat and she bled to death before anyone knew. Sétanta never forgave us for killing her. He considers it a blood insult that I lived and Fand died. He thinks I should have given her up to him without a fight, because she loved him, not me.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “Because I had no idea that she knew him at all – let alone wished to wed him. We had been hand-fast for two years and she always appeared content to be with me. We even planned out our future together. She never told me she didn’t want to marry me. In fact, she seemed eager. I knew nothing about Sétanta until I recovered from my wound. I couldn’t read her mind to find out what she truly wanted. I trusted her too much. Now, I’ll never know.” McLir sighed and continued. “Sétanta and his men constantly raided our lands in revenge. Peace fled and the situation couldn’t be allowed to continue. We were too few and we lost men and animals with each attack. The only thing for me to do was to leave and make Sétanta come after me. Then the rest of my people would be left alone. Sétanta has followed me ever since.”

  “So that’s why you came here?”

  “And to other places. Sétanta’s hatred is the most important reason, but there are others.”

  I shivered, suddenly, uncontrollably, as I remembered the first time I had ever seen McLir. My instinct was right, that day on the shore. I thought then he had the air of a fugitive rather than a spy.

  At that moment, Shea came bounding into the clearing, from wherever he had been, and our tension dissolved.

  “Let’s go home,” McLir said. He picked up the rest of his garments and put them on. I found my basket and we started the journey back to the shore.

  “Do you still love her?” I whispered. I had to find out. I knew the knowledge would hurt me, for I had seen the answer in his eyes when he talked of her.

  “I always loved her,” he said simply.

  I had a sudden hatred for this unknown woman, so long dead. She still held his heart in a cold clasp of steel despite her betrayal. Obviously, I showed my emotions on my face because he said,

  “Renny, you don’t understand. I must explain it to you. I thought, when I married Fand, my life would be settled. I’d no longer need the magic of my visions. I hoped to live in peace, as other men do, and raise our children on my father’s land. That sort of hope belongs only to the time of youth, when all things seem possible to all men. But the life that I wanted was not given to me and I’m no longer the man who hoped for it. Too many years have passed; too much suffering and heartache. I can never again give my love to someone instinctively. I don’t believe, in the depths of my heart, I can ever find peace, not even with you.”

  I raised my eyes to his, and he saw the hurt his words had given me. He continued softly, “Had I met you in my youth, I would’ve loved you as I did Fand. I can never allow myself to feel that way again. You’re becoming a woman, a time when emotions and feelings stir deep inside you. I know them well, to my cost. But I’m no longer a young man and, if I were, my enemy follows hard on my heels. One day he’ll find me again, however far I run from him. I must seek warning of his coming, to escape or to fight him to the end. Perhaps that is to be our fate. So I can’t discard my powers to love you. Nor can I draw you into a quarrel which isn’t yours and might lead you to your death.”

  “Perhaps you’d not lose your magic. How do you know for certain?”

  “Both my mother an
d my grandmother lost their ability to see into the future. They lay with men and bore their children. I’ve never found out if the same thing would happen to me, a man. I could not – and will not – take the chance.”

  “I love you,” I said miserably, hearing finality in his voice, which dashed all my hopes.

  “If I was able to, I would love you, but I can’t. One day another will come who can love you freely, and whom you can love in return.”

  “I don’t want anyone else but you.”

  “Not now, perhaps. Even we, who glimpsed part of the future, don’t know all that’s coming. Do you remember the man in both our dreams, the man with the scar on his cheek? His fate is twisted around ours. Perhaps he’s the one who’ll be yours. He’s important in some way we don’t yet understand and if not him, then another.”

  I had no words to answer him, for what could I say? I didn’t want anyone else to come for me. I wanted him alone. The misery of his rejection and the embarrassment of offering myself to him were almost too much to bear. I listened to his last words through a veil of pain.

  “I believe part of our vision has already happened. You’ll meet the man with the scar before many more days have passed. Great events are starting to happen around us and we all have our parts to play in them. The time of our waiting is almost at an end.”

  17

  “Is anyone else outside?” McLir asked me, as he turned away from the woman whose arm he had finished bandaging.

  “I’ll look.” I walked to the doorway and peered out. It was pouring with rain, so we worked inside Stoill’s shelter on the shore. “No one is waiting, but someone is hurrying down the beach towards us.” McLir joined me under the dripping thatch, calling to Shea, who came to stand beside him, with his ears pricked.