Abner's Adventure

by Kirsten Osbourne

  Abner looked forlorn. “It wasn’t that I forgot that we were going to eat dinner together. It was that I lost track of time. As soon as I realized my mistake, I ran all the way here!” Abner bent over, still a little out of breath.

  Catherine shook her head. “Are you expecting me to just disregard the fact that you’re forty-five minutes late? Abner, in future, I’d like you to try to be on time.”

  Abner looked at the pot roast sitting on the table. “That looks like a pot roast my mother used to make!”

  “That’s because I used her recipe,” Catherine said softly.

  Abner stared at Catherine. “How is that possible? I don’t have any of my mother’s recipes.”

  Catherine was nearly too angry to respond, but she lifted the recipe box and held it out to him. “They’re in here.”

  “Oh, my goodness!” Abner exclaimed, cradling the recipe box in his hands. “Where did you find this?”

  “It was behind the ice box. Covered in cobwebs.” Catherine wanted to tell him he’d have found it if he’d ever cleaned his house, but she didn’t. Trying to be a good wife might just kill her. Sometimes she just wanted to strangle the man.

  “Well, I’m sorry about all that, but I’m so happy you found my mother’s recipes! She was a wonderful cook. Now that you have them, you can make all of my favorite dishes,” Abner said cheerily.

  “Abner!” Catherine frowned.

  “What?” Abner asked warily.

  “Do you want me to pretend everything’s just fine?” Catherine was so upset that tears brimmed in her eyes. She willed herself not to cry in front of Abner again. She wanted him to know that she was tough and unafraid to stand up for herself.

  Abner considered the question and smiled. “Yes, that would be nice.”

  She sighed. Perhaps he was right. If she continually pointed out every little thing he did wrong, they’d never be able to make their marriage work. “Sit down, Abner, and we’ll have supper.”

  Chapter 6

  On Sunday morning, Abner knocked on the front door to his own house. He was still perplexed by female emotions, but he had at least learned to knock and give Catherine advance notice that he had arrived.

  Catherine came to the door, dressed in her Sunday best.

  “You look beautiful,” Abner told her.

  Catherine looked down at the ground. “It’s nothing. What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to see if you wanted me to walk you to church,” Abner explained. “I go every Sunday to the same church where we—where Micah—uh, you know.”

  “Where Pastor Barton married us, you mean,” Catherine said easily.

  Abner blushed. “Yes.”

  Catherine thought about his question. “Yes, I’d like that,” she agreed.

  “Okay!” Abner nodded eagerly and held his arm out.

  Catherine pushed the door shut behind her and accepted Abner’s arm.

  They walked to church together, politely inquiring about each other’s wellbeing and avoiding any potential conflict.

  As they continued toward the main street, Abner stiffened and jerked Catherine behind him.

  Catherine gasped. “That hurt!”

  “Shh,” Abner cautioned.

  Catherine was frightened by the look on Abner’s face. “What is it?”

  “Shh,” Abner repeated. He motioned for her not to move.

  Catherine grew very still. She waited until she thought she was going to topple over.

  Fortunately, right at that time, Abner took a deep breath and turned to face her. “Did you see that rattlesnake?”

  Catherine shook her head, terrified. “Rattlesnake?”

  Abner nodded. “I didn’t want him to even have a chance of getting near you.”

  Catherine took a deep breath. For all of his faults, Abner really could be sweet. “Thank you, Abner.”

  Abner glowed with pride. “It’s my job to protect you, and that’s what I’ll do.”

  Catherine couldn’t help but smile. They continued walking. He really was a good man, despite his lack of manners.

  A few minutes later, Abner paused. “Catherine?” His tone was serious.

  “Yes?” Catherine hoped they weren’t about to get into another argument before church.

  “Would you mind if we kept what’s going on between us private?” Abner suggested.

  “Oh!” Catherine remarked, surprised. “I hadn’t thought about it. Since I don’t know anyone here, there isn’t really anyone I would talk to.”

  “Nowhere is a small town,” Abner continued. “It may be prideful, but I don’t want anyone to know that now that I’m finally married, I’m having problems with my wife.”

  “What do you mean, now that you’re finally married? Were you engaged before?” Catherine felt her pulse quicken. For some reason, she hated the idea of Abner being promised to another woman.

  Abner shook his head. “Nothing like that. But it’s no secret that I tried to court many girls in town. I even took some of them on dates,” he admitted. “But I didn’t feel for anyone what I feel for you.”

  “You tried to court many girls?” Catherine repeated. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

  Abner shrugged. “I know now that I was wrong to pursue so many women. At the time, I was desperate to start a family. Now, with you, I have a chance.”

  Catherine wasn’t sure what she was feeling. Part of her felt sick to her stomach at the thought of Abner going around town, trying to court every girl in sight. Another part of her felt like she and Abner should start fresh.

  Abner looked at Catherine. “Do you agree, though, that we should keep this matter private—just between the two of us?”

  Catherine nodded. “Yes, I think that’s best.”

  “Good. We should get started again. We don’t want to be late.” Abner offered his hand to Catherine as they began walking again, and after a moment of consideration, Catherine put her hand in his.

  They walked in silence until the main street came into view. As they approached the church, Abner smiled at her, thankful they’d agreed to keep up appearances.

  Abner found seats in a pew near the middle of the church. He and Catherine sat down, with plenty of space for other members to fill in around them. Soon, more people crowded into the church, and Penny, Tom, and their seven sons and assorted ranch hands filled in around them. Abner sighed. The McClains were the only ones who knew that Abner had been staying on their property instead of in his marital bed. Still, he didn’t think they’d bring it up.

  Edna Petunia and Cletus entered a few moments later, settling into a pew directly behind Abner and Catherine. “Oh, my goodness! This must be Catherine Peartree, the mail-order bride!” Edna Petunia said much too loudly for Catherine’s taste.

  Catherine’s cheeks flushed. “And you are?” she inquired politely.

  Edna Petunia looked at Cletus and roared with laughter. “Oh, my, that’s the first time someone in this town didn’t know who I was!”

  Cletus grinned at Catherine. “It’s probably good for her ego to get knocked down a few pegs. I’m Cletus Sanders, and this is my wife, Edna Petunia.”

  The name rang a bell for Catherine, but she couldn’t immediately place it.

  “I’m the one who sent for you!” Edna Petunia explained loudly.

  Catherine looked around. Everyone in the church seemed to be listening to their conversation. She shrank into her seat, embarrassed.

  “Don’t be shy!” Edna Petunia boomed. “Let me get a good look at you!”

  To Catherine’s dismay, Edna Petunia stood up and grabbed Catherine’s hands, pulling the younger woman to her feet.

  “Spin,” Edna Petunia instructed.

  Mortified, Catherine did a turn the way she had been instructed at her private school for girls back in Massachusetts.

  “Oh, how beautiful! And look at her manners, Abner. Didn’t I do such a good job?” Edna Petunia exclaimed.

  Abner felt like he was going to die of
embarrassment. The McClains and their workers were all watching the exchange with great interest. He didn’t want to admit that he and Catherine were having problems, but he also didn’t want to lie, especially in church! Abner thought about what he could say that wouldn’t be a fib. “Yes, Edna Petunia. You found me the perfect wife.”

  Catherine blushed, sitting down and wishing she could melt into the pew. She looked to the front of the church. When was service going to get started? She didn’t know how much longer she could handle Edna Petunia’s cheery scrutiny. But Micah was nowhere in sight.

  “How are you settling in, Catherine? I heard you had some troubles the first few days,” Edna Petunia clucked.

  Catherine glared at Abner. There was no one else Edna Petunia could have heard that from. He had been the one to say that they needed to keep their issues private, and yet he had talked about their home life with Edna Petunia? The woman obviously had never kept a secret in her life.

  Abner shrugged, feeling terrible that he’d said anything at all to Edna Petunia. “Yes, everything’s just fine now, Edna Petunia,” Abner said. Even though it wasn’t the truth, Abner did not want to discuss these matters with the whole congregation listening. Tom gave him an odd look but didn’t say anything.

  Edna Petunia clapped her hands. “Good! Are you enjoying playing in the marital bed then? Have fun now, before the little bastards come!”

  Catherine’s jaw dropped, and she covered her mouth in horror. “Excuse me?” She thought for certain she had misheard what Edna Petunia had said.

  Abner slouched in his pew. This day was getting worse and worse.

  “You know,” Edna Petunia laughed. “Are you having fun having your corn ground?”

  “I don’t understand,” Catherine admitted.

  “Shaking of the sheets?” Edna Petunia continued. Everyone in the church continued to listen to their conversation, even though they pretended not to stare. “Hide the pickle? You probably have a different term for it in Boston!”

  Catherine couldn’t believe Edna Petunia was talking about intimate matters so freely in public.

  Cletus saw the dismay on Catherine’s face and patted the young woman’s hand. “Don’t worry, darling. That’s just how Edna Petunia is. She’s not shy.”

  “No, I’m not,” Edna Petunia agreed and pinched Cletus’s bottom. He jumped a little and grinned, kissing her on the nose.

  Catherine’s head spun. Thankfully, Pastor Micah strode to the front of the church to begin the service just then.

  Catherine was relieved to be out of the spotlight for a change. She enjoyed listening to Micah’s calm, soothing voice, and the ritual of being in church. Her family had attended service each Sunday when they were alive, but after they’d passed, she had been unable to get time off to attend church. It was comforting to be back in a place of worship. As everyone prayed, Catherine found her thoughts wandering to her marriage with Abner. She hoped that God would bless their marriage. Although they’d gotten off to a rocky start, Catherine hoped it would all work out.

  Pastor Micah cleared his throat. “This morning, I wanted to talk a little about marriage.”

  Abner perked up. Occasionally Micah would speak on topics like faith, or family, or caring for the elderly. If Micah had any advice on the subject of marriage, Abner would gladly accept it.

  “I’d like everyone here today who is married to raise their hand,” Micah said.

  Catherine felt uncomfortable raising her hand, but Abner elbowed her in the side. They both raised their hands. Most of the adults in the church also did. It seemed to Catherine that Nowhere was mostly made up of married couples and children.

  “I’ve been lucky enough to have been married to my beautiful wife, Sarah Jane, for—” Micah began, gesturing at a stunning woman in the first row.

  Edna Petunia sneezed loudly, and Catherine couldn’t hear anything.

  “—years, and it has been a privilege to witness our love grow over that time,” Micah continued. Catherine strained to hear him, but her ears were still ringing from Edna Petunia’s sneeze. She swallowed hard, and her ears adjusted back to normal. “Marriage is a beautiful relationship. It’s the way you can start a family and find your life’s partner. But it’s also hard work. Very hard work. In fact, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

  The church laughed, appreciative of Micah’s honesty. Catherine couldn’t believe that Micah had ever struggled with marriage. He seemed so open and kind, and his wife, Sarah Jane, looked so in love with him. Catherine wasn’t sure if she would ever be able to look at Abner that way.

  Abner was inspired. If Micah and Sarah Jane had ever had problems, maybe what he and Catherine were going through was just a normal part of marriage. Abner hadn’t had much experience with relationships, just courting. Maybe this all was to be expected.

  “I’d like everyone here who is married to hold hands and say a special prayer for your marriage. Also, everyone in this community is here to celebrate and support everyone else’s marriage. Together, we are all stronger,” Micah finished. Everyone bowed their heads in prayer.

  Beside Catherine, Abner beamed like he’d just received wonderful news. But Catherine felt more confused than ever.

  After the service, Edna Petunia picked right up where she had left off. “I truly adore seeing a young couple so in love! I’m such a good matchmaker,” she declared.

  Cletus smiled and patted her on the back. “Yes, you are, dear.”

  “Catherine, how often are you two playing in the marital bed? I want to know when I can expect some grandbastards!” Edna Petunia continued.

  “Grand . . . what?” Catherine asked, startled.

  They all walked outside of the church and formed a circle so they could keep talking.

  Edna Petunia laughed. “It’s my special term for them. I know Abner’s not my son, but since I arranged your marriage, I consider any children you two have to be my own grandbabies.”

  “But why . . . ?” Catherine began, unsure of how to ask her question.

  Micah came up to Catherine and Abner. “Don’t bother, Catherine,” Micah said with a good-natured smile. “We’ve all asked Edna Petunia why she calls them that for years, and we still don’t completely understand, but it’s all in good fun. She means well.”

  “I’m right here, and I can explain myself,” Edna Petunia said indignantly.

  Cletus patted her hand. “We know, dear, we know.”

  Micah turned to Catherine and Abner and spoke in a low voice. “How are you two doing? I was glad to see you here this morning.”

  “Of course,” Catherine replied. “Where else would we be on a Sunday?”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Micah smiled. “Welcome to our congregation.”

  “Thank you,” Catherine said.

  “Please let me know if either of you need to talk about anything. One of my jobs as a pastor is to help our community with anything they’re going through. I know that you’ve both had some big changes,” Micah offered. “I’m here for you any time.”

  “Thank you,” Catherine repeated. Abner smiled and shook Micah’s hand.

  “No one has answered my question about grandbastards!” Edna Petunia complained.

  Penny approached the group and put her arm around Catherine protectively. “Edna Petunia, they’ve been married less than a week! Give them a little space.” She turned to Catherine. “Catherine, I’m Penny. My husband and I own the ranch where Abner works.”

  Catherine’s face flushed. So this woman—this stranger—knew about all of her marital troubles. Now she understood why Abner had wanted to keep things private.

  Penny saw Catherine’s discomfort and pulled her away from the crowd. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to introduce myself. And to get you away from Edna Petunia. We love her dearly, but she can be a lot to handle.”

  Catherine relaxed. “Thank you, Penny. It’s such a relief to have someone to talk to. I am a bit overwhelmed.”
>
  Penny laughed. “Honestly, I’d be worried if you weren’t overwhelmed.”

  Catherine giggled, too. It was the first time in a long time she felt comfortable. Although she’d just met Penny, she immediately liked the woman.

  “Now, if you ever need anything, anything at all, we’re right over in Bagley. Well, you probably don’t know where that is yet, but Abner could show you. I live there with my seven sons and a variety of young men—mostly orphans—who need a place to stay. We give them shelter and hot meals and help them get back on their feet,” Penny explained. “When the orphanage in Bagley burned down, we adopted all the boys who lived there. Many of them are still with us, and we’ve adopted more since.”

  “Seven sons? They must keep you busy!” Catherine remarked.

  “Oh, they definitely do,” Penny chuckled. “But I’m always happy to help a friend. So please, come over for dinner any time. We would love to have you.”

  “That does sound like fun,” Catherine agreed. She hadn’t thought about children in a long time, but she would love to meet Penny’s boys and get to know them. When she was younger, she had loved playing with the children of her parents’ employees. Catherine could always make them laugh. And one day . . . Catherine was afraid to hope for too much, but she secretly wished that one day, she and Abner would be able to have children of their own. It was something she had once dreamed of, but after her parents died, she hadn’t thought it would be possible.

  Catherine felt better already. “Thank you, Penny.”

  Penny squeezed Catherine’s hand. “Of course.”

  Edna Petunia marched up to Penny and Catherine. “Are you two telling secrets?”

  “No, Edna Petunia! I was just introducing myself.” Penny laughed. Her adopted mother was a force to be reckoned with.

  “I was just telling Cletus that I haven’t been to the Phelps’ house in years. I want to see what you’ve done with the place,” Edna Petunia declared.

  “You do?” Catherine felt at a loss for words any time Edna Petunia was involved. Despite the woman’s brash temperament, Catherine found herself growing fond of her. But she still had no clue how to respond to her.