Affliction

by Jenika Snow

  He was taking me out, and although Cameron never did anything normal, and this wouldn’t be a dinner and chick-flick kind of night, he made sure each and every second we spent together was intimate and special. At least that’s how he made me feel.

  I left the room when the Mercedes came to a stop. I felt Damien follow behind, his big body always a constant.

  Over the last year, and honestly well before I was even in this situation, in this relationship with Cameron, Damien had always been there. He was the silent enforcer, the man who looked after me, made sure Cameron had his back watched at all times. He was a part of us in his own way, and the truth was if he wasn’t around, I would feel this loss. It was strange, but that was my world now.

  I opened the front door and stepped outside, the sun already set, the moon high, and the lights of the estate in full bloom. My heart started beating even harder, even faster. Damien was already moving toward the back of the Mercedes, and when he opened the door and Cameron stepped out, that puzzle piece fit right back in place inside of me.

  For a second Cameron and Damien stood by the car and spoke softly. I didn’t need to know what they said, didn’t need to wonder if there was shady back-alley shit going down. This was the life I’d agreed to, the life I wanted to have for my own. Cameron was the man I wanted by my side.

  “Leave us,” Cameron said to Damien, and also to the driver, who I hadn’t noticed get out of the car until now. When it was just Cameron and me, the familiar heat I felt with Cameron filled me. “Come here,” he commanded, his voice smooth yet hard. I moved toward him, and once I was close enough he could reach out and touch me, he did just that.

  I was in Cameron’s arms seconds later, the heels I wore not even having me come up to his chin. He was strong where I was fragile. He was masculine where I was feminine.

  He was the vast openness where I was the darkness. He swallowed me whole without even trying, without even needing to.

  “I’ve rented out the theater. It’ll be us. Only us.”

  “Just the way you like it,” I said and tipped my head back to look at him. He didn’t smile, didn’t really show me any emotion, but he didn’t need to. The way he looked at me, that possession in his eyes, told me all I needed to know. I was his world.

  “I like to keep you all to myself. Always.” He held me tighter. Cameron would never be called sweet or gentle, not in the traditional sense. But that’s not why I loved him, not why I came back and stayed with him. I did so because he gave me what I needed, craved.

  And I gave him what he needed.

  Before Cameron I was a bird with clipped wings, living in a rusted cage, the door locked, the key thrown away. But now I flew high, experienced the world, let my wings spread out, and the wind rush over me.

  “What do you see when you look at me?” I asked, staring into his eyes, seeing that darkness focused on me. With his hands on my face, his body pressed tightly to mine, I felt like I’d never fall.

  “Vastness,” he said softly. “You're my ocean, Sofia. I can't see anything else but you.”

  The End

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  Preface

  She was his.

  Irrevocably. Undeniably.

  He knew this as soon as he saw her bound on the stage. He needed to possess her, own her, and make sure she knew that he was the one that held all the power. She was his property now, whether she accepted that or not. She would soon come to realize that there was no escape.

  He had bought her, picked her from all the other women that had been taken and sold like nothing more than inanimate objects. However, she wasn’t just an object. She was his to do with as he pleased.

  She looked at him with fear, but she hadn’t felt real fear yet. He was a monster, the kind that she had probably dreamt about as a child, prayed she would never meet, and one that now owned her.

  She would run, there was no doubt about that, but what she would soon realize was he wanted her to. He reveled in the chase, and when he caught her, he’d make her pay with her body until she gave him every part of herself.

  He was a sadist, and with each passing day, she would realize that she was his perfect masochist.

  Chapter One

  It was sweet, beautiful pain that filled her mind, washed through her, and had her needy for more. She wanted to stay here forever, in this dream that seemed to haunt her nightly. However, she couldn’t really say it haunted her, not when she prayed for the sweet release it brought her every night before she closed her eyes. Disgust and shame filled her each morning when she reflected on those dreams. For pain with pleasure wasn’t “normal,” right? It made no difference because it was only in her dreams that she would allow these dark desires to control her. She enjoyed the idea of marks on her flesh, a hand on her throat, slowly tightening until darkness threatened to take her away. Only in her dreams could she ever allow herself that moment of depravity.

  An outraged scream and the sound of something shattering had Ruby slowly opening her eyes. She blinked a few times, but otherwise stayed in the bed, her comforter that smelled faintly of mold pulled up to her chin, and stared at the ceiling. It was off-white, but riddled with brown stains. Her mother yelled something nasty and ugly, presumably at her boyfriend. Ruby thought his name was Buck, or maybe it was Chuck. She didn’t really know or care since there seemed to be a new one every week. With her graduation already past, it was finally time for her to leave. She had been thinking about this moment for years and time had finally come.

  Ruby was going to leave this shitty city behind her, forget about the ugliness that surrounded her every single day, and start over. She didn’t even have a set plan, but she didn’t need one because she just didn’t care. The idea of spending one more moment surrounded by the failings of her upbringing was enough to push her out the door. She’d work things out when she got to Fort Hampton. Maybe she would fail and feel just as misplaced as she did right now, but she wouldn’t know unless she tried. If she stayed here another moment longer, she knew she wouldn’t survive.

  Her mind felt like it was deteriorating with every harsh comment that left her mother’s mouth and with every inhalation of this smog-filled air. With a trailer to call home, a reputation as “trash” all through high school, and no friends, Ruby was used to feeling as if she didn’t belong. Yes, she isolated herself, but she found that being alone was a much better existence. The waste that surrounded her, the feelings of emptiness, and no self-worth was something Ruby knew, but not something she wanted. There was a big world out there, one that she could explore and hopefully, start to feel like she was finally living.

  She pushed up on the bed and the comforter fell away from her body. She hadn’t fallen asleep until well after midnight, courtesy of her mother and the boyfriend of the week having sex in the next room. The paper-thin walls did nothing to block out the sound of a banging headboard and the vile things the two said to each other. Scrubbing her hands over her face, she dropped them and exhaled. She reached over and grabbed her cell. Flipping it open, she stared at the lit screen. It was only five-thirty in the morning and already the yelling had started. Tossing the cheap phone back on her scarred bedside table, she decided she’d rather be sitting at the bus stop than stay here one more minute. It was only a matter of time before her mother took out her anger on Ruby.

  After she had her jeans on, she grabbed a T-shirt and slipped it over her head. Getting on her knees and reaching under her bed, she felt for the straps of her backpack and wrapped her fingers around it. Once she pulled it out, she reached inside for her ratty hoodie. It was ugly as hell, but well loved. She grabbed the one-way ticket to Fort Hampton and moved her fingers over it. It was a fourteen-hour bus ride, and she had no idea what she would do once she got there, but anything was better than this. She tucked the ticket in the bag next to her money. Once she had
her hoodie and her shoes on, she sat back on her bed. It was sad that everything she owned fit into this bag. Clothes, the thousand dollars she had saved from working at the fast food place down the street, and a few personal items were all inside the confines of the canvas. Although she had no definitive plans once she got to Fort Hampton, she had researched some cheap places she could stay. She had restaurant experience, well, fast food experience, but she was hoping to find something of that nature to do as soon as she got there. The thousand dollars she had wouldn’t last her very long.

  Standing and slinging her bag over her shoulders, she moved toward her door and waited a moment to see if there would be any more yelling. She pulled it open as silently as she could and listened again. Should she have felt guilt over the fact she planned to leave without telling the woman that had given birth to her? Maybe she would if that woman had actually acted like a mother in the first place.

  The lights were on, and she stepped out of her room shutting the door quietly behind her. If her mom was fighting with Buck/Chuck, she would already be in a foul mood. The sound of the TV was low, but she didn’t let that distract her. Ruby kept her eyes averted to the ground and made her way toward the front door.

  “And where the hell do you think you’re going?” On instinct, Ruby stopped and looked over at Missy Jacobson, her mother and the woman that treated her like she shit on the bottom of her shoe. She sat at the cracked, faded yellow Formica kitchen table, littered with cigarette burns. A bottle of whiskey in front of her, the glass beside it was nearly empty. The bags under her mom’s eyes were dark, and it was clear she hadn’t gone to bed yet. Missy lifted the cigarette she held to her mouth and inhaled deeply. She pulled it away and flicked the ash into the small aluminum tray beside the liquor bottle. “You gonna answer me or stand there like a fucking idiot?” she said at the same time she exhaled all that smoke.

  Ruby tightened her hold on one strap of her bag. “I have work early today.” Telling her mom that she was leaving for good would only cause a fight, especially since Ruby had been giving part of her paycheck to Missy since she started working. With this being her only home, it was either help keep this piece of shit trailer afloat or have her mom kick her out. Finishing school had been a priority for Ruby, so she sucked it up and told herself that as soon as she had her diploma she would be out of there. Today was that day, and Missy Jacobson wasn’t going to ruin it.

  “Is that right?” Missy took another puff from her cigarette and exhaled. “Then why you need that backpack? Flipping burgers and filling up Styrofoam cups doesn’t require a lot of books.”

  “I have to go.”

  “I need money for rent.”

  Ruby stopped and looked over at her mom. “I just gave you some last week.”

  Missy shrugged. “What can I say? Keeping your big ass in this house costs money. There’s electricity, water, rent. A lot of shit.”

  “I don’t have any more.” Missy narrowed her eyes.

  “Girl, I put up with your ass prancing around here in your damn underwear, trying to tempt my men. You’re fucking lucky I let you even live here. You’re more damn trouble than you’re worth.” Ruby wasn’t about to argue over the fact she sure as hell didn’t prance around anywhere in just her underwear. In fact, she rarely came out of her room when she was home, not after one of her mother’s boyfriends tried to touch her. Missy poured herself another shot and tipped the glass back to her lips. Her eyes were glossy and red-rimmed, and Ruby knew she was drunk, probably had been since yesterday. “I should have aborted your ass when I found out I was pregnant.” Bile rose in Ruby’s stomach. Even though nothing her mom said was sweet and loving, and was always vile in nature, it still hurt like hell.

  “I’ll bring you some money after work.”

  Missy leaned back in the seat. “You better or you can kiss your room goodbye.”

  Ruby stared at her mom for another second. “Bye.”

  Missy didn’t even respond, just stared straight ahead, and smoked. Ruby felt no sadness in leaving. In fact, there was a very deep comfort in the knowledge that this was the last time she would step foot in this shithole. Anything was better than this, including sleeping under a bridge, which might be a possibility once she reached Fort Hampton.

  Ruby wrapped her arms around her middle when a gust of wind whipped by her. The sound of the approaching bus and her cramping stomach had woken her from a somewhat restless sleep. She had been at the bus station all day, sleeping off and on as best she could with the noise all around her. She had only had a granola bar and a bottle of water since she left the trailer. She could have eaten something a bit more substantial, but she wanted to save every penny for Fort Hampton.

  Straightening as the bus pulled to a stop, she noticed that several people lined up to get on the Greyhound. The smell of burning rubber from the bus braking and the exhaust filling the air around her had Ruby covering her mouth and nose with her hoodie. The door on the bus slid open and people inside started piling out. When the last person stepped off the bus, it was a few minutes before anyone could get on as the attendants cleaned it. Ruby glanced at the people waiting to load. There were a few families with children in tow, some college-aged kids, and the occasional elderly person. She glanced along the row of people once more and her gaze stopped at one of the several benches that lined the side of the bus station. A man in a long black trench coat held a newspaper in his lap, his attention on her.

  He didn’t look very old, maybe in his early twenties, with brown hair slicked back from his face, and eyes that looked black and bottomless. There was a clear darkness inside of him, and even though they were several feet apart, Ruby felt a very uncomfortable sensation move along the length of her spine. What she should have done was look away, but there was an invisible force keeping their gazes locked. She didn’t know him, had never seen him before, but he made her feel like he could see into her soul, and knew every secret she held.

  She quickly glanced away, tightened her hold on the backpack in her lap, and felt very uneasy all of a sudden. She still felt his stare boring into her, so she stood, needing to get on the bus and put some distance between them. Why did she have this sudden sense of wariness? Maybe her situation had her on edge. The knowledge that she didn’t know what her life would be like. That rationalization had her easing slightly because it seemed logical enough.

  Ruby took her place in line and waited as everyone loaded onto the bus. Maybe she shouldn’t have, but she found herself glancing at where the young man had been sitting. A breath left her, one that she hadn’t realized she had been holding, when she saw he was no longer sitting there. Yes, she was overreacting, seeing things that weren’t there because of the huge step she was taking. Putting everything behind her, the life she’d led, the worry she’d felt since deciding to follow through with her plan, she handed the driver her ticket and climbed on the bus. There was a seat in the very back, and she moved down the aisle toward it. After taking her seat, she glanced out the window and watched the cars passing by on the street. Well, this is finally it. You’re leaving all this shit behind. That had a smile curving her mouth even if she felt scared shitless.

  A tingling on the back of her neck had her turning away from the window and glancing at the front of the bus, and instantly her heart started to beat faster. The guy in the dark duster climbed aboard. His head was downcast, but he lifted his eyes and looked right at her. He took a seat a few rows in front of her, and she slid down in her seat so she could no longer see him, pulling the hood of her sweatshirt over her head. Exhaustion settled heavily inside of her and she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her eyes open much longer. Blissful ignorance as she slept and dreams of a happier place sounded a lot better than her reality.

  Chapter One

  April 2014

  Abe watched her, had been watching her for over a year. Was it sick that he wanted her with this twisted obsession? No, it was sweet pleasure and anticipation that ran through his veins. Being
so close to her and having the very depraved image of what he wanted to do to her playing through his mind was making him itchy. He needed her with him, needed to have her away from all of this saccharine falseness with the plastered-on smiles and the sick corruption.

  On the outside he played the part, was the strict man that guarded her high-profile father. He was a trained killer, lethal in every way conceivable, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Emotion clogged ultimate goals and caused the most skilled person to make mistakes. He had no emotions, and was not capable of the love and compassion that others drowned themselves in. What he had was determination and need, and all of it was centered on Bethany.

  His training had been unorthodox, but the world was cruel and unforgiving and if he didn’t take what he wanted then it would never be his. He was no military man, didn’t have a Purple Heart for his bravery and being wounded at war. The questionable training he had received at a young age had molded him into the man he was today.

  Deadly. Calculating. Intelligent.

  Abe had been called all of those and more. But he was just a machine working toward the ultimate goal. And the end result would be the sweetest release he had ever had. Bethany would be his, and with his release would come hers. She also played the part that was expected of her, but he could see in her eyes she was trapped in a gold-gilded prison.

  She wanted a way out, wanted to be taken away from everything that was suffocating her. He would be the man to help her, to make her realize that she was just like him. Tonight he would make that happen.

  He stayed in the shadows and watched the party guests arrive. But only Abe knew there would be no wedding. He blended into the darkness with his black fatigues and dark boots. He didn’t miss anything, and absorbed everything.