by Vixen Kane
“It’s not irrelevant.”
Her eyes narrow to slits, but a moment later they widen. She takes another deep breath and nods. “Okay, it’s not irrelevant. I should’ve told you, and I’m sorry I didn’t, but my point still stands. You’d only be hurting Sarah by making a big deal out of this.”
She’s right, and I fucking hate that she’s right. It floors me that she would even take this job in the first place, knowing Sarah is my sister. I try to recall when Sara’s incident occurred and when Valerie would’ve been hired. It would’ve been before we started hanging out… I think. That makes it a little better, but not by much.
The door opens, and Sarah appears. She’s got a blank look on her face as she looks between Valerie and me, but I know her well enough to see the hurt in her eyes.
Fuck.
“Maybe you should ask her?”
I tilt my head as her words register. “What?”
“The sister you’re trying to make decisions for. Maybe you should ask for her opinion, or does it even matter?”
“Sarah…” I don’t know what to say next. That I’m sorry? That she doesn’t get who Valerie is? Who she used to date? But I can’t say that because it’s bullshit, and I know it. A month ago I would’ve raised hell over this, but I know Valerie better now… and she’s pretty damn great.
“For someone who always tells Mom and Dad not to baby me, I expect more.” She turns and leaves, her footsteps echoing off the wood floor as she makes her way to her room. The slamming door comes next.
I turn to Valerie, who’s eyeing me as if to say ‘I told you so’.
“You should leave,” I say, taking a step toward the door. She grabs my arm to stop me, and when I turn my glare on her, she lets go and takes a step back.
“Let me talk to her.”
“What? No,” I say with a shake of my head.
“We’re friends, Seth. She’ll listen to me.”
“I’m her brother.” My voice is steel, and I can only guess it matches my expression.
“Yeah, you are. The same brother who just hurt her feelings.” Her eyebrows raise, and she waits for that to register.
Fuck, she’s right again.
“Fine.” I force the word out with more effort than I think possible and run a hand through my hair.
Valerie looks me over before leaving the room. I sit on the bed and tap my foot on the carpet for what feels like an eternity, but is probably only five minutes. I check the time on my phone and wait another twenty minutes before going to Sarah’s room.
The door is open halfway, so I don’t knock. I wait a moment, staring through the crack and listening to their conversation. They have a textbook open and are sitting on the carpet. By the sounds of it, Sarah is helping Valerie with her math homework.
Valerie writes something down after typing into her calculator, and she looks to Sarah with a smile spanning her face. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem,” Sarah says, her own smile tilting her lips.
It isn’t a fake one. Sarah sucks at faking smiles. It’s resulted in hundreds of shit family photos over the years, until eventually my mother settled with neutral expressions for Sarah. No, she’s genuinely happy to help, and I get why. She’s been taken care of her entire life. It must feel incredible to take care of someone else.
I train my gaze on Valerie, and my heart picks up. All the earlier anger has faded, and in its place is gratitude. She’s right. She’s good for Sarah. And she’s good for me too.
Maybe she doesn’t have to know about the challenge. What does the challenge even matter if my feelings are genuine? It’s irrelevant why I sought her out, right?
I push the door open the rest of the way and step into the room. Sarah’s eyes don’t lift, and I know it’s because she’s mad at me. Valerie’s eyes do, though, and when they meet mine, she studies me for a moment, probably trying to gauge if I’m still angry. She must like what she sees because she smiles, and my racing heart stops beating.
She pats the space beside her, and I walk over and sit, eyeing Sarah, but treading lightly.
“I’m sorry for trying to make decisions for you,” I say.
She pauses the writing she’s doing in a notebook and glances up at me. “Apology accepted.” She goes back to writing, but Valerie puts a hand over Sarah’s. Usually it’s best not to touch Sarah, but she only pauses, looking up at Valerie before putting the pen down and clearing her throat.
She turns to me. “Valerie and I are going to the movies tomorrow. Would you like to come?”
I turn to Valerie, who’s trying to hide a smile, and suddenly the answers to my questions come barreling into me, and I know exactly why Valerie is the girl I’ve caught feelings for.
Turning back to Sarah, I nod. “Yeah, I’d love to.”
21
Valerie
Butterflies flit around in my stomach, and I have no idea why. I’m almost to Seth’s parents' house to meet him and Sarah to go to the movies. Now that Seth knows where I work, I feel an added pressure to get things right. I can’t lose my job, although I’m not sure why I would, and I really don’t want to lose whatever this is with Seth.
I ring the doorbell and glance down at my outfit. Jeans and a bubble-gum pink tank. This isn’t an actual date, so I didn’t put as much thought into what I wore. I spent most of the day studying for finals, and there just hadn’t been time. Lexie assured me that I looked great in a ‘girl next door kinda way’. Her words, not mine.
“Ah, Valerie.” Mr. Carnes opens the door wide and steps aside. “Please, come in.”
I’ve been in this house dozens of times, but this is different. This isn’t work. This is personal.
“Hey, Mr. Carnes.” I step around him, and after he closes the door, we move to the foyer, where Mrs. Carnes is standing. “Hi, Mrs. Carnes.” I haven’t been able to bring myself to remain informal with them after my interview and they haven’t pressed the issue.
“Miss Tilson.” She gives a curt nod, and her hands are clasped in front of her. She has a look on her face that worries me but then, she’s always been a bit intimidating.
“Valerie, Seth and Sarah will be down any minute.” Mr. Carnes is smiling, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, which is odd because he’s usually the easygoing one.
“Oh, um, that’s okay. I don’t mind waiting.”
“Miss Tilson, I think we need to discuss your continued employment with our family.” And there it is. The reason for Mrs. Carnes’s pinched face.
“Okay. I hope I haven’t done anything to disappoint you. I really love working with Sarah.”
“We feel that if you insist on spending time with our son, then it may be best to terminate your employment.”
What the hell?
I glance at Mr. Carnes, and when he says nothing to contradict his wife, I return my attention to her.
“Mrs. Carnes, I… Sarah is…” The blood drains from my face as I stammer and glance around for Seth. Or Sarah. Anyone to rescue me from this. Tears quickly form, and I blink several times to stem the flow.
“Miss Tilson, please. You were hired to work with Sarah. Not to date our son. I’m concerned that if you continue to see Seth, it will distract you from the time and attention Sarah requires. She is our focus, and she should be yours.”
“Mom!” Seth steps off the landing at the bottom of the staircase and walks toward us. He places himself between me and his parents like a human shield. “You need to back off.” There’s no mistaking the steel in his voice, or his spine, as he stands in front of the people who raised him.
“Seth, this has nothing to do with you. We just want what’s best for Sarah.” Mrs. Carnes really believes what she’s saying, but Seth doesn’t appear to be happy about it. Or to care, for that matter.
“That’s just it. It has everything to do with me. I really like Val, and you’re threatening to fire her if she continues to see me.” His hands ball into fists at his side.
He really lik
es me?
Of course he does. He told you that already.
“Seth, please. It’s fine.” I reach out and grab the back of his shirt. I don’t want him to interfere and make this situation worse.
“It’s not fine.” He takes a step back until he’s next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder, but his focus remains on his parents. “I bet you haven’t even asked Sarah what she wants.”
“Now, son, you know that Sarah needs—”
“I don’t want Valerie to be fired.” Sarah enters the foyer and comes to stand on my other side. “And Seth wants to date her.”
I glance at her and smile. I know this is hard for her, but she’s standing up for herself and others. I’m proud of her regardless of how it came about.
If she can do it, so can I. I square my shoulders before speaking.
“Mr. and Mrs. Carnes, please. I need this job. But even more than that, I need Sarah and Seth in my life.” I pause and swallow before continuing. “You have raised two amazing children, and you should be proud of them. But my parents raised an equally amazing woman, and I am more than capable of continuing employment with Sarah while spending time with Seth.” Seth’s arm tightens around my shoulders, and I take comfort from it. “He didn’t even know where I worked until yesterday. I can compartmentalize. And if a time comes where I can’t, then feel free to fire me. But don’t do it before I’ve even done anything wrong.”
I blow out a breath, having said way more than I thought I would. Mrs. Carnes’s face remains impassive, other than a twitching near her eye.
Mr. Carnes smiles at me. “That was quite the speech—”
“It’s the truth.” I slam my mouth shut because interrupting the boss is not a good way to keep the job I’m trying so hard to fight for.
“Elizabeth and I will discuss this further.” He slants a look at his wife to silence her protest. “Why don’t you kids go have fun?”
“Yes, sir. Thank you.”
I grab the front of Seth’s shirt and drag him to the door and Sarah follows. I don’t want to give anyone a chance to change their minds.
We all climb into Seth’s car, and he starts the engine but doesn’t put it into gear. He just sits there and stares at me.
“What are you waiting for?” I raise my eyebrows.
“You’re incredible.” He reaches across the seat and pulls me in for a kiss.
My lips part, and our tongues dance.
“Ugh. Can’t you guys wait until I’m not here?” Sarah groans from the back seat, and Seth and I break apart, laughing. “I wanna go to the movie. It’s going to be so good.”
Turns out, the movie was pretty good. I don’t know if Seth agrees because it was a total chick flick, but he’s being a really good sport about it. And I suspect that he’s like this no matter what when it comes to Sarah.
“Well, ladies, what next?” Seth’s walking backward, facing Sarah and I as we exit the theater.
I pull out my cell phone and check the time. It’s only eight-thirty. Certainly not pumpkin hour. I glance at Sarah, and she has a giant grin on her face which worries me because it could mean so many things.
“Let’s go to the bar,” she says, and I stop walking.
It’s not that I think it’s a terrible idea, but I have no idea how Sarah will do in a big crowd, or how Seth would handle it, so I’m skeptical.
“I’m game.” Seth claps his hands and rubs them together. He looks like a kid in a candy store, and when his piercing blue eyes fixate on me, I melt. “How ‘bout you Val? Wanna get your drink on with the Carnes twins?”
“Please Valerie?” Sarah’s eyes are just as piercing as her brothers. How I never noticed that before is beyond me.
“Oh, fine.” I throw my hands up. “But only for a little bit. I’ve gotta study some more for finals.”
“Awesome!” Sarah’s excitement is contagious as we walk to a bar that’s just down the street.
Seth holds the door open for his sister and me. As soon as we enter, several heads turn to stare. I follow their gazes and realize they’re all staring at Sarah. I take in what they see. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, tight jeans and a form fitting blue tank.
This should be interesting.
Most of the patrons are college kids, and several of them seem to know Seth. He stops to talk to a few on our way to the bar, holding my hand the entire time. I notice that he also never really takes his eyes off of his sister, always making sure she’s okay. I know about the incident that happened before I was hired, and I imagine Seth’s more weary because of that. What amazes me though is you’d never know it. He’s protective in a way that he’s not stifling, which is exactly what Sarah needs.
“I’m going to get our drinks.” I pull away from Seth as he introduces his sister to one of his friends. He nods at me, indicating he heard me. As I walk to the bar, it occurs to me that I’m not twenty one, and I pray that the bartender doesn’t card me.
I order and send up a silent thanks that I must look older than I am. After I pay for the beer and two Smirnoff’s, I weave my way through the crowd to deliver the drinks. I stop short when I see a guy talking to Sarah, and he’s swaying a bit, telling me he’s already drunk as hell. I search for Seth, and he’s not far from her. Judging by his body language, he’s seeing the same thing. Why is he not stepping in?
I carry the drinks to where he’s standing and ask him as much.
“Because she’s a big girl. And if I step in, she won’t learn to take care of herself.”
“But what if—”
“I won’t let anything happen to her, Val. I promise.”
He hasn’t once looked at me while we are talking, so I turn toward the scene in front of us to watch with him. Sarah’s laughing and seems to be enjoying herself. Then the guy reaches out to touch her. Seth starts to lunge forward, but I grab his arm to stop him. In that moment, all he’s seeing is a guy touching his autistic sister. He’s not seeing that she’s not flinching away. Surprisingly, she’s still smiling, no sign of fear or panic. Her cheeks are flushed and she’s leaning toward the guy. She’s flirting.
“Well, fuck.” Seth drops his head.
“What?”
“I wanted her to have fun. Not turn into a normal college chick with hormones.”
He looks so upset by this turn of events that I try like hell to hold in my giggle, but I can’t.
“What’s so funny.” He pulls me toward him and narrows his eyes.
“You.” I run my hands up his chest to wrap them around his neck. “What did you expect, Seth? She’s hot. And you brought her to a bar where there’s horny college guys.”
“You think she’s hot?” He kisses my cheek to punctuate his question.
“Well, yeah. I mean, look at her.” I turn my head to look at Sarah and the flirting that’s taking place. She seems to still be enjoying the attention, so I return my attention to the guy with his arms locked around me.
“She’s my sister. My twin sister.”
“I’m aware.” Wrinkles crease my forehead as I try to determine where he’s going with this.
“So if you think she’s hot, then it stands to reason that you also think I’m hot.”
I break out laughing. Of course that’s the direction he’d take this. Once I’m back in control of myself, I rise up on my tip toes and lean in until my lips are centimeters from his.
“So freaking hot.”
His lips crash down on mine, and we get lost in the kiss. Everyone else in the room disappears as I soak up everything about the moment. His taste. His smell. The way he makes me feel. The fact that Io—
I pull away as my thoughts start to get to me. He raises his eyebrows in question, but he doesn’t speak.
“I think I’d like to go now.”
“Did I do something wrong?” He brushes a strand of hair out of my face, and I almost give in to his touch. Almost.
“No.” I shake my head vigorously. “Nothing. I, um, I’m just tired.”
“Okay.” He looks at me for another second before dropping his hands and stepping back. I immediately miss him. “Let me get Sarah and we’ll go.”
“Thanks.”
Fortunately, Sarah is fine with leaving. We all head outside and walk to the car, and she fills the silence with facts about fish. I tune her out as my thoughts churn. Her facts continue on the drive back to the Carnes home, and when Seth shuts the car off in the driveway, Sarah thanks me for coming out tonight, and we agree that we’ll see each other in a few days when I work again.
When it’s just Seth and I left in the car, he turns to sit sideways in his seat.
“What happened back at the bar, Val?”
“What do you mean?” I know exactly what he’s talking about, but I have no idea what to tell him.
“One minute everything’s great and then the next you’re pulling away and putting up walls. I don’t get it.”
“I’m just tired.” Total lie but better than the truth. For now.
“Okay.” His jaw clenches, and I know he doesn’t believe me.
I need to fix this. Fast.
“I had a lot of fun tonight.” I reach out and pick up his hand to thread my fingers with his. He lets me but doesn’t make a move to do anything more.
“I did too.” He sighs and drops his head back to look at the roof of the car. “I always do with you.”
“Me too.” Maybe I haven’t totally screwed things up.
“Listen, I know you’re busy studying for finals, but do you wanna get together again? It can be low key. Pizza and a movie at the frat house?”
“That sounds great.” And it does. It sounds perfect. “But I can’t tomorrow. I’ve got study group, and I can’t afford to blow it off now. Does the next day work?”
“Yeah, it works.” He smiles for the first time since I pulled away from him at the bar. He lifts my hand to kiss the back of it before getting out of the car and coming around to open my door and lean in. “C’mon. You better get back to the dorm and get some sleep.”