Dubious Deeds
Page 31
Mad Uncle Jack said to him afterwards, ‘You made a very believable Edmund Dickens, young man. Please call upon me one day at your convenience.’ He handed Eddie a dried sea horse.
The missing boy, Larkin, turned up a few days after the abandoned first-night performance, smelling of mothballs. He’d somehow managed to lock himself in an old laundry cupboard in one of the many disused parts of the house.
A week or so later, Gherkin left to work with an Inspector Ryman up north. His working for the police in ‘an undercover capacity’ meant that, once people knew what he was up to, he had to move elsewhere. The reason why Fabian had thought he’d recognised him that first morning was because their paths had, indeed, crossed fleetingly before. Gherkin had been working for a Sergeant Kelpitt in a part of Hampshire when Fabian’s gypsy family had been passing through.
Lance Peevance had, indeed, been unaware of his role in the plan; to cause a distraction whilst Moo-Cow Moot had one last good look around before his accomplices paid a visit. When he was eventually released from prison, he moved to the distant village of Lower Upton (or Upper Lowton) where he led a quiet life, building a little chapel with his own hands, over an eleven-year period. This greatly impressed the other inhabitants, until the building fell down one blustery November morning, injuring the village mascot (a goose called Tawny).
Once Fabian’s father stopped eating any more lucky heather, let the rest pass through his system, and (finally) took his medication (in liquid rather than tablet form), he made a splendid recovery. The original cough was cured with some syrup or other. Discovering that Dr Moot had been a no-good scoundrel, Aunt Hetty soon got over the guilt at having nearly brained him.
As for the older Dickenses, they went on doing what the older Dickenses did best. And Eddie? For him, the best was yet to come.
THE END
of the Further Adventures …
* I’m sorry, that should, of course, read momentum.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
You’ve been a wonderful audience.
Thank you, and goodnight.
About the Author
Philip Ardagh, whose very first Grubtown Tale won him the Roald Dahl Funny Prize, is author of numerous books including these award-winning Eddie Dickens adventures, which have been translated into over 30 languages. He wrote BBC Radio’s first truly interactive radio drama, collaborated with Sir Paul McCartney on his first children’s book and is a ‘regularly irregular’ reviewer of children’s books for the Guardian. Married with a son, he lives in Tunbridge Wells, where he cultivates his impressive beard.
By the Same Author Published by Faber & Faber
Fiction
The Eddie Dickens Trilogy
Awful End
Dreadful Acts
Terrible Times
Unlikely Exploits
The Fall of Fergal
Heir of Mystery
The Rise of the House of McNally
Grubtown Tales
Stinking Rich and Just Plain Stinky
The Year That It Rained Cows
The Far From Great Escape
The Wrong End of the Dog
Trick Eggs & Rubber Chickens
Splash, Crash and Loads of Cash
When Bunnies Turn Bad
The Great Pasta Disaster (World Book Day Book)
High in the Clouds
with Paul McCartney & Geoff Dunbar
Non-fiction
The Hieroglyphs Handbook
Teach Yourself Ancient Egyptian
The Archaeologist’s Handbook
The Insider’s Guide to Digging Up the Past
Did Dinosaurs Snore?
1001⁄2 Questions about Dinosaurs Answered
Why Are Castles Castle-Shaped?
1001⁄2 Questions about Castles Answered
Copyright
First published in 2014
by Faber and Faber Ltd
Bloomsbury House
74–77 Great Russell Street
London WC1B 3DA
This ebook edition first published in 2014
All rights reserved
Dubious Deeds
© Philip Ardagh, 2003
Illustrations © David Roberts, 2003
Horrendous Habits
© Philip Ardagh, 2005
Illustrations © David Roberts, 2005
Final Curtain
© Philip Ardagh, 2006
Illustrations © David Roberts, 2006
Illustration page 512 © Philip Ardagh, 2006
The right of Philip Ardagh to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with Section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
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ISBN 978–0–571–31054–8