The Long Fall

by Daniel Quentin Steele

  To her back I said, "I'll find something in the fridge. No big deal."

  I put the briefcase up by our bed and found my wedding ring sitting on the table beside the bed. I tried to get it back on and had a hard time, even with Vaseline, getting it on but eventually I slid it over the knuckle. Then I went down and found a half package of kosher franks, fried them in a frying pan and put three of them between bread along with a lot of hot mustard. I ate in the kitchen.

  I went back upstairs and instead of taking a short, utilitarian shower, luxuriated in a long, long hot shower. I leaned against the wall of the shower and rested my head on the tile as the hot water streamed down around me. In my mind I tried to see myself as I had been, a flat bellied 18-year-old with a full head of hair. I'd never been God's gift to women, but I hadn't been that bad.

  "Are you going to leave me any hot water?"

  I opened my eyes and looked at her standing just outside the sunken shower stall. I should have shrunk from the look on her face, seen myself as the flabby husband she saw. I should have been so hurt by her emotional betrayal that I couldn't stand to be naked in front of her.

  But for some reason, I felt free. I didn't think she loved me anymore, or as much as Lance, so what the hell did it matter to me what she thought about my naked body.

  "We could share. Save some cash."

  A look of surprise flashed across her face, followed by...what, disappointment, disdain. That should have hurt, but it didn't.

  "That's okay, you fin-"

  I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the shower stall. She stumbled and I caught her under her ribs, my left hand rising to grip one of those huge soft titties so she didn't fall.

  "What- Bill, what the hell, let me –"

  I had to stand up a little on my tiptoes, but I shut her up with my mouth. She tried to push me away but I kept her under the shower's blast as her hair fell around her face and the blouse and shorts melded to her skin. She fought to keep my tongue out, but I caught hers and sucked on it until she gasped and sucked back. With my left hand I pushed and squeezed and milked the soft breast flesh until I felt the nipple harden under my fingers.

  I had gotten hard and was pushing up against the wet fabric of her shorts at the groin. She managed to push me away. She talked as water ran into her mouth.

  "No, you bastard. You think you can come in here – accuse me of cheating… and"

  I kissed her again and as she pushed me away I saw the anger growing on her face and then she slapped me hard. For a second I thought she might have busted my lip. I grabbed her hand, pushed it back against the shower stall and planted my lips on hers again and wouldn't let her free.

  I pushed her shorts down with the hand I had been milking her with. The wet shorts and panties slid right down and off. She wasn't helping me, but it didn't seem like she was fighting that hard either.

  She broke free again.

  "No, Bill stop it. This isn't funny, or romantic. Damn you."

  I'd started milking one soft titty, but stopped and yanked on the blouse. A second yank sent buttons flying and another tug pulled it down one arm and onto the floor of the shower. The bra resisted for a moment and then snapped at the back and I threw it away.

  She pushed at me and I fell back but caught myself by grabbing her arm. She was turning and I caught her, carrying her down to the tile shower floor. I grabbed her under her arms and although it was a struggle I managed to pull her to her feet and push her against the wall of the shower. I squeezed her breasts, found her nipples between my fingers and rolled them. I think I heard a sharp intake of breath as I did. My dick felt as hard I can remember in years.

  I rubbed in up into the crack of her ass and down until I almost had it positioned over her wet pussy. She twisted away from me and managed to get out of the shower. She was turning when I caught her in a modified football tackle that carried her onto the bed. Her legs hung over the side as I dived into her pussy with my tongue.

  She bucked and humped and tried to pull my head out by grabbing my hair but I pushed her hands away and kept burrowing deeper into her. The wetness of shower water was quickly succeeded by a tangier moisture and she started humping up into my tongue as well as trying to bounce me off her.

  Oh, God....stop...stop it...you baaasstard...don't."

  Then she was whimpering, "stop it, ohhhhh stop stop....Bill, the kids....they could walk in....stop please...."

  I lifted my face from her pussy, stuck three fingers in and started rubbing and pushing them in and out, saying, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a shit. I want your pussy and I'm going to have it"

  I worked her pussy and then stuck first one and then a second wet finger up an inch or so up her ass and felt the electric shock that galvanized her body. As she trembled, I got up from the bed, opened my briefcase on the dresser and pulled out the large black object I'd bought on the way home.

  She had her eyes closed when I slipped the head of the big black vibrator into her pussy, turning the power on at the same time. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at me in disbelief, eyes growing wider as I pushed it further in.

  "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

  A third inch and a fourth and then six full inches followed, opening her up as the vibrator's width, that of a large cucumber, stretched her pussy wider. As I pushed in, I rolled it around to increase the sensations and she responded, rolling her ass and hips in the same motion.

  "Oh, Bill...you are such a bastard, but don't stop, don't stop..."

  "I'm not, Deb, not till you've got all this synthetic cock up your pussy and then I'm going to take your ass and you're going to love it."

  She shook her head.

  "Oh yes. We may not have a future, but I'm going to fuck your brains out tonight, and that's a promise."

  By and bye I began to believe what she had emailed Lance. When I sunk it all the way in and started twisting and turning, she practically levitated. She grabbed me by the ears and tried to swallow my tongue, reached down and if she could have gotten a good grip would have either pulled my dick off or crushed it into paste. God, she had a grip.

  As she screamed, and I thanked God that BJ loved his music very, very loud, I slid over and placed my dick in front of her mouth. As she screamed away I plugged it with my dick and she swallowed it down to my balls and began sucking and licking at the same time. I was surprised, but she gagged enough to make me believe this was something a little new to her. She was good, but I don't think she had been practicing on anybody else's large dick. Anyway, the gagging made her let me go a few times to catch her breath, but she gamely went right back to deep throating.

  It was more the expression on her face, and the wildness in her eyes that I hadn't seen in so many years, more than the ungodly sensations of her mouth and tongue and that sucking action that sent me over the edge. I let go of the vibrator and left it humming and grabbed her head with both my hands and held her steady and firmly planted on my cock as I felt the first rushing of the tide and then the squirting deep into her throat. I wouldn't let her go but I didn't feel her fighting me. I did feel her swallowing as I unloaded into her.

  My first reaction was to sink down beside her, but I remember why I'd started fucking her and I went back to the vibrator. Before she could come down, I started working it back in and around and around and within moments she was thrusting back against its length and making little orgasmic noises.

  I didn't know if it was possible to have a closing act, but as she kept cumming I rolled her over onto her side, got up to lock the bedroom door, and grabbed some Vaseline off the bathroom counter. She was working the vibrator in and out with her own hands as I played with myself to see if I could get a second erection, and somehow thank God, I got it up.

  Lubing her ass with two fingers, I got her thrusting back against my fingers and then forward against the vibrator. A moment later I was slipping my dick into the small opening to her ass. She gasped and moaned for a second, but she must have been as excited as he
ll because it didn't take more than a few seconds until I felt the head of my dick popping through the anal sphincter and I was inside her.

  I wait for a second, then pulled her head back by her hair so I could ravage her mouth with my tongue while she kept pushing and pulling six inches of hard plastic in and out of her pussy and then I started pushing forward into her ass.

  As I licked her lips, I halted my conquest of her ass again and said, "I may be guilty of ignoring you for my job, Debbie, but I never stopped loving you. And I never stopped being turned on by you."

  As I continued speaking, I emphasized each word with a hard thrust deeper into her ass.

  I...want....your.....ass....and....your ....mouth...and....your...pussy. I ....want....yoouu."

  With the final "you," I made a last thrust and began squirting.

  Not a whole lot, mind you, but she definitely knew I was in there and having a good time.

  When I finally stopped I pulled out and rolled onto my back beside her. After awhile, she pulled the vibrator out and turned it off, then rolled to lie facing me.

  "What the hell was that all about? And a vibrator? Why, how?"

  "Look, Debbie, I've had time to think. I was wrong to accuse you of cheating on me. I believe you haven't been. It's just that....I can't help thinking that's you're not happy. I can't help believing you're thinking about us – you and me – in the past tense. And I know some of that is my fault. I have been too focused on my work. But you...two people have to try to save a marriage. One of them can't. And I'm not really sure you want to save our marriage."

  She looked into my eyes and I know there was satisfaction and I think there was affection, but there was also sadness.

  "Bill...I just never...expected that you would pick up on that one little thing I said. But you're right. There is a problem....a problem in our marriage. I – I can't...I wish I could talk about it...we need to talk...but I can't right now. And....the sex just now was great. It was like the old days. But one good – one great fuck – can't make up for years....years.."

  I put my finger to her lips to stop her.

  "I know it can't, Deb. No magic bullet, but I just wanted to let you know that I still want you...and I need you...Just remember that....okay. Oh, and I didn't know this was going to happen, but I saw some vibrators a few months ago when we were prosecuting that call girl ring case and I thought about getting one for us then. As I was coming home tonight, it just popped into my head that you might get a kick out of it too."

  She gave me a little smile.

  "I did. Thank you."

  "My pleasure, really."

  And then again, "Really, really."

  She gave me a small smile. "I could tell. Twice in a few minutes. It's been a long time."

  We talked a little more, but finally I rolled over to turn out the light on my side of the bed and after she walked out of the shower she slid into bed next to me. But if I'd expected her to move next to my body, to snuggle, I was wrong. She lay on her side of the bed, back turned to me and I watched her breath. From time to time there would be a deep breath and then a shuddering exhalation. There was no sound, but she could have been crying.

  It was then that I knew Roy's advice was well intentioned, but dead wrong. We'd had a good roll in the hay, but as she said, nothing had changed. I hadn't conquered her body, left her a quivering mass of nerve endings and re-conquered her heart. All I'd done was given her some orgasms and a pretty big surprise. And from what I knew about the emails, tonight hadn't and couldn't make a difference. I didn't see how it was possible, but I felt more depressed lying next to my well-fucked wife.

  The next day we made progress in seating juries in the three cases we had launched and I found myself as usual up to my eyeballs in crises, demands on my time and energy and I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about my home situation. It was easy to fall back into the normal groove of devoting 110 percent of myself to work.

  I got home at 10 p.m. Monday night. Both the kids were upstairs in their rooms. When I walked in Debbie was at the computer console in the den. She looked up at me as I walked in and casually hit the button that took her out of the internet. Whatever had been on the screen was replaced by a page from a lesson plan.

  I glanced in the room, walked over to her and leaned down to give her a casual peck on the side of her cheek. Her face seemed a little flushed, but she smiled at me. Tentative, but she was trying.

  "Hi, sorry to be so late but as usual everybody in the world needed me today."

  She turned to look up at me and the smile faded.

  "I know, Bill. Everybody wants a piece of you and there's only so much to go around, isn't there?"

  I went upstairs, read a few pages of depositions and then showered and went to bed. Debbie didn't come in until I was almost asleep. The spy program was on the big desktop in my office and there was no way I could get to it without arousing her suspicions so I couldn't find out what she'd been doing tonight. But I would.

  On Tuesday despite everybody in the world pestering me, I took an hour and a half for personal time and drove home at noon. I knew everybody would be out. I logged on and read the last few emails she'd sent and received.

  In one sent Monday afternoon she'd told Lance in great and graphic detail about our fuck session Sunday night.

  Lance to Debbie: "Wow. You think somebody slipped some Viagra into his coffee at work? That doesn't sound like the husband you've been describing to me. At least, at least you must be a lot more relaxed today. : ) Funny thing is, you didn't seem that relaxed today. Didn't his doing that get you thinking about maybe staying with him? Sounds like he's really trying to change. I'm honestly, selfishly, a little sorry to hear that, but you got to give the guy credit for trying."

  Debbie to Lance: " I know, Lance. I know. But-"

  Lance to Debbie: "But what?"

  Debbie: "Oh shit, Lance, I don't even know how to say this. Even to you. But, I think Sunday night convinced me....we're not going to make it."

  Lance to Debbie: "But you said he was horny as hell and that's what's been missing. He may be late, but it looks like his heart is in the right place."

  Debbie to Lance: "That says it all. His heart is in the right place. Mine isn't. He pushed all the right buttons and it was flattering to realize I still get him that excited. But...it was just sex. I realized afterwards that we had sex, but we didn't make love. The vibrator made me cum all over myself, not him. When he was inside me, it was okay, but...."

  Lance to Debbie: "So have you decided what you're going to do? And are you going to tell him about the award ceremony at UNF Friday night?"

  Debbie: "I haven't decided, exactly, but it won't be long. No, I'm not going to tell him about the awards dinner. I'll tell him it's just business and that spouses aren't encouraged to go. But I have to be there. I don't want you to get that award as one of the two best new young professors on faculty without your best friend being there."

  Lance to Debbie: "You know I want you there. It wouldn't have been near as much fun this year without you as a friend and – mentor."

  Debbie to Lance: "Don't use that word, mentor. It makes me sound so damned old. I don't think you think of me as being an old lady, do you?

  Lance to Debbie: "No, definitely not. You're younger at heart than most of the female students around here. And you definitely don't LOOK like a mentor."

  Debbie to Lance: "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. Stop it. I'm having a hard enough time keeping my head straight right now. I need to – finish – things with Bill before we start talking like that."

  Lance to Debbie: "I understand. I won't put any pressure on you until things get settled at home. But I have to tell you, I can't wait until Friday."

  Debbie to Lance: "BE GOOD!!"

  Lance to Debbie:" I will, but it's hard. God it's hard."

  Debbie to Lance: : ) I know. You forget, I saw you trying to stand up that day in the restaurant. When I wore that low cut blouse. It is VE
RY VERY HARD. : ) Bye."

  And that was it. The whole ball game. She had gone from being a friend to an almost and soon-to-be lover. She was going to lie to me to be with her boyfriend on his special day, and then she was going to leave me. I doubted she'd make it a day without going after his VERY VERY HARD dick.

  I don't know why I was even surprised. I had known it was coming. But even knowing it was coming..I barely made it to the bathroom and still got some vomit on my pants leg. I changed, copied and then scrubbed her emails off the system.

  When I left the house this time, I knew it was for the last time. No more doubts, no more hesitation. I hadn't bothered to take my ring off. My finger was still sore as hell and the symbolism really wasn't important anymore. There was no marriage to end. I felt like a 100-year-old man, like a walking dead man, but the sun was still shining as brightly outside, I could hear kids playing nearby, and the world went on.

  That night about 10 p.m. I called and when no one picked up left a voice mail message saying I'd have to work insanely late and that I'd be staying at the River apartments for the next few days rather than try to commute. I never got any return calls so I guess it was alright with everybody.

  Friday, as it usually is, was sort of anticlimactic. The only time Fridays are exciting is when a jury is bringing back a verdict. When we're in the middle of trial, judges usually try to wrap things up early. They want to go out to eat or clubbing, although in Jacksonville that's more of an expression than a reality, just like anybody else. And so do the jurors and witnesses and cops. So things usually started running down by mid-afternoon and by 5 p.m. the Courthouse is usually a ghost town.

  I was home by 6:15 p.m. and I'd had to break a whole bunch of traffic laws to get home that early. As I walked in Bill Jr. was outside hopping into a friend's car and Kelly passed me going out the door. As she did so she gave me a small smile. It was almost embarrassed.

  And that shouldn't have surprised me, I realized. She was old enough now to see what our marriage was like and I was sure she had picked up on the 'friendship' of her mom and a young UNF professor. I wondered why she hadn't tried to warn her old man. But when I saw the embarrassment on her face I knew it was me that embarrassed her, not a relationship between her mother and another man. So far I was batting 0 for 3 in terms of any love on the part of my family members.