The Long Fall

by Daniel Quentin Steele

  “Because I’m not blind and I can look in a mirror. Because I’m not tall, and I’m not hung and I’m not a hunk. I faced that fact a long time ago. In my world, if a woman approaches me, I know it’s because I can do something for her in my official capacity or in some other way. I do not turn women on.

  “And the one woman I ever really thought or hoped might love me, told her lover that she couldn’t stand being around me anymore. She had to build a life away from me. That kind of shakes your confidence.”

  She turned into me and with her hand on my chin made me look into her eyes.

  “You want me to tell you that looks don’t make a difference in how women respond to men? I won’t insult your intelligence. Of course an attractive, well-built man with confidence attracts women. But it’s only among men that looks tell almost the entire story.

  “Where women are concerned, we respond to strength, to power, to confidence, sometimes to arrogance. A woman sometimes wants to feel controlled by a man, no matter what women liberation types will tell you. We also respond to caring, to courage.

  “I think you’re probably right that your wife loved you for what you did that night. You might call it hero worship, but it is deep within all women to respond to that kind of male courage. It didn’t last with her, but Bill, she is not all women. She is ONE woman, and there are a whole world full of women who would be interested in you.”

  She leaned into me and brushed my lips. It wasn’t even a full kiss, but my cock twitched.

  “I had your picture when you first came on the Bonne Chance. I was looking for you. I watched you. And...this will sound strange, but there is something about the way you move. I can’t put it quite into words, but you move...with grace...and balance. Even walking among other passengers I noticed it.

  “And...if I say that you made me think of a tiger, a great cat, you will laugh. But, it’s true. You moved as if you saw everything around you at one time. When you looked at people, it was as if you were looking through them.

  “You are not a bad man, Bill, I can say that from knowing you only a few days, but I would not want to be around you if you were a bad man. There is something inside you...”

  “Now I know you’re imagining things,” I said, knowing that part of what she was talking about had to be the training Carlos had imposed on me. There is a grace and balance to boxers that you don’t realize if all you ever concentrate on is muscular men pounding on each other.

  “And the other thing, which I also think you never realize, is the air of command about you. You remind me of the Captain. He does not have to raise his voice. He expects people will do what he tells them to do, and they do. I think in your professional life that is the way you act. That kind of strength and power is very attractive to some women. Maybe if you had brought that strength to your home...”

  We stood there in silence watching the approaching storm until I said, “When I saw you for the first time that afternoon, the hairs on the back of my neck rose. Usually that only happens when you sense a threat, some terrible danger approaching. Are you a terrible threat?”

  She turned her back and nestled against me.

  “When you looked back at me and I realized you knew I was watching you it was as if an electric shock ran through my body. There is only one other time I have experienced that sensation....It was the first time I saw Philippe, my husband, at a party in Paris. We looked at each other across a friend’s apartment. He was gorgeous and I knew without any doubt we would be leaving together.

  “The reaction I had to you frightened me. I couldn’t understand it. You were a stranger. I’m still not sure I understand it. Except that meeting someone who will be important in your life....is a frightening thing.”

  I thought about her words. Could I see myself as a tawny beast of prey moving through the human herds, making women wet with my aura of power? Even putting it into words made me want to laugh.

  But, why would she say it? I realized that if she was doing all this just to get me into bed and get a bonus from Edwards, that made her nothing but a whore. And if I had any instincts at all after 10 years as a prosecutor, I didn’t sense that.

  Maybe the boxing and the loss of weight and the new fitness and the bald head and a sense of authority I carried over from my job might make women look at me differently, but that much differently? From dud to stud? Except, as divorcee Lee had told me, I had been married and off the market for nearly 20 years. Now I wasn’t.

  I nestled my face in her dark mane and breathed in an unfamiliar fragrance. If this was friendship between a man and a woman French style, I could live with this.

  “You never did answer my question. Why did you really accept the babysitting assignment?”

  She moved in my arms to face me, her ass rubbing my cock as she did so and this time it jerked against her. She grinned and said, “Down, boy.”

  Then…

  “I told you the truth the other night...just not the entire truth. I did see the story about “The Angel of Death.” Your reporter, Mr. Cameron I think the byline said, did a great job of painting you as a little more than human, a dark angel. I was intrigued, but I had a more personal reason for being interested in you. I told you I had an interest in legal matters.

  “My husband, Philippe, is a prosecutor in Paris, one of what is called the avocats généraux—deputy prosecutors - in the office of the Procureur de la République, the Chief Prosecutor. We have been married for nearly 10 years and through him I have come to know a great deal about prosecutors and the courts.”

  I felt as if the deck of the ship had suddenly evaporated under my feet and I was floating in the air.

  “Would that be Philippe des-Jardins, in the Paris office?”

  “No, des-Jardins is my maiden name. I have kept it because I was employed by the cruise line before we married.”

  “Could it be....Philippe Archambault?”

  She gave me a surprised look.

  “How did you know?”

  God, please make this be a nightmare.

  “I met him about three years ago, in Paris, Aline. It was on my first trip to France. We were working a human smuggling ring transporting young Muslim girls from poorer sections of France, primarily around Paris, for prostitution in Florida and the U.S. Philippe was my liaison. We worked together for a week.”

  The big, good-looking, friendly Frenchman had taken me out drinking and to some local dives after hours. He had introduced me to Escargot and other delicacies and some interesting sections of Parisian low-life. I had asked about his wife one time and he had simply said she was away on business.

  He had been very friendly, too friendly, to a secretary and a junior female barrister in his office, as well as an attractive lady cop and a female bartender at one of the dives frequented by cops, crooks and prosecutors. I figured he was banging them all, but it was none of my business and he seemed like a good guy. Definitely a hard as nails prosecutor and we worked well together.

  It was still none of my business, but holding his wife in my arms wasn’t something that made me feel good about myself. He might be a cheating asshole, but...

  I had released my hold on her and I stepped back away from her.

  “What’s the matter, Bill? You know my husband? So what? We haven’t done anything terribly wrong. A little flirting, a little dancing. Is that so terrible?”

  “Maybe not in your world, but in mine....that’s how my life fell apart.”

  She stepped up to me and lacing her fingers behind my neck she literally forced my lips to meet hers. I could have stopped her, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to.

  She let me go and said, “We have not gone to bed, Bill. And I know that Philippe, if he isn’t in bed with another woman, will be tomorrow or the next day. Don’t waste any of the precious little time we have left worrying about endangering my virtue. You know very little about me, or my marriage. Can you just enjoy the next few days? Don’t think. Just be with me.”

  I rem
embered the Big Man’s admonition, “let yourself be surprised.” I was sure as hell surprised. And had been since the Bonne Chance had left its Jacksonville berth.

  In my wildest dreams, I never could have imagined myself holding a woman like this in my arms; a married woman, a married woman whose husband had befriended me, a cheating husband who was screwing around on this beautiful woman while I seriously considered sleeping with her.

  No, not sleeping. I might as well be honest with myself. I was thinking about and a large part of me was hoping I’d be fucking her at some time in the near future.

  “I’ll try.”

  When we reached my suite she kissed me after I’d opened the door and then backed away.

  “No, I’m sorry, Bill. It’s not that I don’t want to, but...”

  “Goodnight, Aline. Thank you for this night. And for the last few days. You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

  As I laid myself down on that huge circular bed a part of me was disappointed that she wasn’t with me, and another part was glad she had walked away. Damned if I could figure out which part of me I really agreed with.

  Monday, July 18, 2005 -- 8:30 A.M.

  “Oh shit!”

  She sat upright in bed as she realized what had disturbed her subconscious. Light was shining in through the bedroom window. It was too light for 6 a.m., which she’d set the alarm for. She looked over at the alarm clock. It was flashing. It had stormed during the night and knocked the power off just long enough to turn the alarm off.

  Damn, she couldn’t afford to be late for this meeting. She had the feeling they were just waiting for cause to take action against her, and missing a critical planning session would be one of those causes. Doug raised his head and stared at her sleepy-eyed.

  “I overslept. You can sleep a little longer, but I need you out of here within the hour, okay?”

  He grunted and fell back to sleep. She had an outfit ready and had showered the night before. But it still took time to get dressed, brush her teeth, get her hair ready and grab a mini-bagel on the way out the door.

  She was twenty minutes down the road before she realized she had rushed out without a folder on the bedroom dresser. Even if it made her late, she needed the papers in the folder or she really would look like the dumb blonde she had always thought some of the senior male professors regarded her as. Shit, shit, shit.

  She had the motor off and the driver’s side door open even before her 2004 Nissan 350Z had come to a complete halt. She was inside the front door and headed up the stairs to her bedroom and had her hand on the doorknob when she froze.

  “mmmmm...ohhhhh.....god baby...that feels so good...damn suck it....”

  For a moment she wanted to back away and then when she wanted to open the door it was as if she were paralyzed. She just stood there with her hands on the doorknob.

  “You like that, Dougie...oh yeah...I see you do. God you’re so huge....”

  There were more sounds of licking and slurping and then....

  “JESUS CHRIST! Kelly? What the- what the fuck are you doing?”

  “What does it look like, Dougie......just what your big fat beautiful cock needs....you can squirt...”

  She could hear sheets and blankets moving and....

  “Oh, you meanie...give it back...I want to play with it.”

  “God damn it, Kelly. Get away.”

  ‘It’s okay, baby. She’s gone. I heard her driving out. We’ve got plenty of time. Come here...”

  “No. What the hell are you doing in here anyway?”

  “What does it look like. I’m going to suck your big beautiful dick dry and then you’re going to fuck me.”

  “Go back to your room, right now Kelly. I’ve got to get dressed and get out of here before your mother gets back. She’ll never believe we weren’t doing something.”

  “Doug, you know you want me. I’m not a kid. I’ve seen the way you look at me when you don’t think she’s looking and in the pool that day....”

  “Look. I look at you when your mom doesn’t notice because I’m a guy. You are gorgeous. But that’s all it is. And that day in the pool...that was a mistake..I just...it was a mistake. Now please, put some clothes on and get out of here.”

  “That’s so stupid. She’s too old for you. Don’t you think I’m prettier?”

  “Oh fuck. Listen to me Kelly. Please. If anyone finds out what you were just doing, if they thought I was having sex with you, I’ll go to prison. You are jailbait, a minor under the age of 18. You are a heart stopper and you will be something else in a few years, but you’re not worth going to prison for.”

  “I’ll never tell anyone, Doug. I promise. I really do like you.”

  “That’s not the only reason. I really do care about your mother.”

  “Oh please, she’s old. Her boobs are so so sagging.”

  “She’s not you, but she’s not old. And I—if she’d move with me I’d make it permanent.”

  “Gag me. Yuck. That’s disgusting.”

  “Put some clothes on.”

  Both of them jumped as Debbie spoke. Kelly sat nude with her legs folded under her on the edge of the bed. Doug was obviously nude but keeping a bed sheet on him.

  “You heard me, Kelly. Get your clothes on and get out of here.”

  “But-“

  “Do it. I’ll be in to talk to you in a minute.”

  They engaged in a staring contest for a minute and then Kelly got off the bed, picked up her pajamas off the floor and glanced at Doug, then flounced naked out of the room.

  Doug waited until she left, then got up nude and started walking toward Debbie.

  “Baby, listen, it’s not what you think. I swear to God, nothing happened.”

  “I know. There’s a Glock in the wall safe. The fact that you didn’t do anything is the only reason I’m not getting it out right now and blowing your brains out.”

  He reached out to her and she stepped back abruptly.

  “No, don’t touch me. Get your clothes on.”

  “But-“

  “Get dressed Doug. Now.”

  “How long were you out there? Did you hear? I swear to God, I didn’t know it wasn’t you at first. She got to me while I was asleep. As soon as I woke up I pushed her off.”

  “I heard enough, Doug. Now put some clothes on. I still need to get to that meeting.”

  He pulled his pants on and then slipped loafers on and went to grab his shirt out of the bathroom.

  “Debbie -“

  “Leave, Doug. No, on second thought, look around and grab anything of yours you might have stowed here. I don’t want you to have to come back.”

  He looked at her as if stunned.

  “Not coming back? What—If you heard...”

  “We’re through Doug. We’ll have to work together, but...I hope you’ll go ahead and find another job somewhere else.”

  “I don’t believe this. Why are you doing this?”

  He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to him. She let him kiss her and let herself enjoy it for a moment. It didn’t matter anymore. She felt his cock start to get hard and herself start to get wet. It was just that easy and quick. She pushed him away and despite his strength when she wouldn’t stop he backed off.

  “Why Debbie? You can’t be serious. Why are you doing this?”

  “I know you didn’t plan this. You had no way of knowing I’d be coming back. If you were going to mess around with her this would be the perfect opportunity. That’s the reason why I’m not going to tell Bill about this.”

  She backed away and tried to hold back tears. She had to be iron. She couldn’t give him the slightest hint of encouragement that she might change her mind.

  “I’m not going to tell him because I think he might kill you, and I don’t want to see his life destroyed. And I don’t want you murdered. Bill could do it. He doesn’t think I know anything about his life, but he has people that would see that you vanish.

  “But I don’t
want that either. You can’t help being who you are. You can’t help flirting. You can’t help attracting women. I blame you for starting things with Kelly. You didn’t have to do that, but expecting you to be any different would be like expecting a pig to fly. It’s not in your nature. But we can’t keep seeing each other.”

  He shook his head.

  “I’ll get out of here. I won’t come back and we can see each other at my place. Or we can go on regular dates. Hell, I’ll meet you places. As far as Kelly, I won’t take her calls and I’ll treat her like cancer. No contact. I haven’t lied to you. Ever, except not letting you know I planned to get you into bed. And you knew that all along anyway.”

  He pulled her to him again.

  “This is crazy. We have a good thing going. I hate it that this happened, but don’t do this.”

  She pushed him away.

  “I’m not going to change my mind, Doug. It’s not you. It’s me. I shouldn’t have started this, not till I was completely through with Bill. Remember, I told you I wanted to wait until we were through. But I didn’t. I went to bed with you before I even told him I was divorcing him. I brought you into our—Bill’s bed. I told myself the kids were old enough to accept it. But you can see how well that went. BJ spends less time here than he ever did and Kelly is trying to get you into bed.”

  She reached out to touch his cheek and she felt more than ever the real gulf between their ages.

  “I told you this wasn’t going to last, Doug. It just would never have worked out. I’ve loved our time together, but I can’t take the chance of something happening with Kelly. I was 17 once, and a lot wilder than she has ever dreamed of being. She won’t stop. She’s enamored with you. She probably thinks she loves you. And I’m her mother and I’ve got you. That’s an irresistible challenge to any 17-year-old.”

  “This just isn’t fair, Deb. And you know it.”

  “I wasn’t fair to Bill when I went to bed with you while I was still married to him. I wasn’t fair to him when I shaved my pussy for you and lied to him about it. I haven’t been fair about a lot of things. Fair doesn’t matter. I can’t have you in my life anymore, Doug.”