Truly, Madly, Greekly: Sizzling summer reading

by Mandy Baggot

  He saw her come into the room and watched her close the door behind them. She leant against it.

  He was so hot. Perspiration covered his back. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and wiped his body down with it before discarding it in the corner of the room.

  ‘Whatever this is about, Yan, you need to tell me.’

  There was her voice. Her sweet, soothing voice, so soft and believable, so encouraging. With Rayna the decision had been taken out of his hands. Here at least he had a chance to use his own words. His own words. It was ironic.

  He slipped his hand into the pocket of his jeans and brought out the slip of paper she had given him in Kassiopi. He took a step toward the table and placed it in the middle.

  ‘You say this is where you live. Your address to send email,’ he said, fixing his eyes on her.

  She nodded. ‘Yes.’

  He nodded in reply. ‘I do not know what is there.’

  Again, the look of confusion. He needed to just say the words, to get this out and then watch her go.

  ‘I cannot read this, Ellen.’

  Her eyes changed in response to his words. There was light there, hope, a shift in the concern she’d had before.

  ‘Is that all?’ She smiled. ‘I wrote it in a rush. I can copy it out again for you,’ she said.

  ‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘It does not matter how you write this. I cannot read, Ellen. I cannot read and I cannot write.’

  * * *

  She felt stunned, like she’d been stung by a taser, or electrocuted. Her heart seemed to stop beating, her breath wasn’t coming, the door was pushing in on her back as she leaned harder.

  Yan was pacing the room now, like a caged animal that didn’t know what to do with itself.

  ‘I don’t understand …’ she began.

  She didn’t. At all. How did this happen? And how did she not know? They had spent a week together. Surely, she would have picked something like this up. Her mind was already in action recalling instances where he had written or read. He had got her to write the accident report when Zachary nearly drowned.

  ‘What is there that is hard? I cannot read or write.’ He let out a sound of exasperation. ‘And now you can go.’

  He stopped walking then, his eyes meeting hers.

  ‘Go?’

  ‘Now you know I am stupid. An idiot who cannot write own name. You give me email address. How can I ever be able to write to you?’

  There were tears now, desperate tears falling from his eyes as he sat down on a chair and crumpled over the table.

  There was no hesitation. Ellen went to him, sliding her hands over the bare skin on his back and around his shoulders, pressing herself against him.

  ‘Why would I go anywhere? Is this it? Is this why you were worried about meeting my father? He only wanted a handshake.’

  He shifted then, pushed her off, sat up straight. ‘You think that this is joke?’

  ‘No,’ she whispered. ‘No, of course not.’

  ‘Rayna’s father thought it was joke and he use this. He use this against me.’ He sighed. ‘He want me to hurt somebody. To beat somebody for his business. I say I do not do this. Then I make mistake. I get into a situation I cannot get out of. He find out I cannot read or write and he tell Rayna.’ He took a breath. ‘And she does not want to be with me anymore.’

  ‘Yan …’

  ‘And that is why I do not look for love again. Because nobody will want to share their life with someone like me. I am rubbish. Nothing. Worthless like he say.’

  Ellen shook her head. ‘I can’t believe you’re saying this. Do you really think this makes a difference to me?’

  ‘How can it not make the difference? You are so clever. The work you do. The business man you have … ’

  She coughed. ‘Yan, you know what sort of person he was. How could you say that? He may have been literate but he was a dishonourable snake.’

  ‘He own big business. He have idea that will change the world. I only have dance and skills with sports.’

  She put her hands on her hips. ‘You’re hardworking, you’re kind. You’re almost fluent in English and German. You speak a little Greek. You saved a boy from drowning.’ Ellen took a breath. ‘When the children here see you they just want to hold your hand and spend time with you. You’re everything Ross Keegan and his business aren’t. That’s why I fell in love with you.’

  * * *

  Ellen’s words settled in the air and fell gently onto him. She was still here. He had told her and she was still here. When was it all going to fall apart? When was she going to leave? She would, wouldn’t she? That’s what always happened.

  ‘This doesn’t change anything for us.’ Ellen pulled up a chair next to him. ‘Because we can get you some help.’ She lowered her voice. ‘If you want to learn.’

  Did he want to learn? No one had ever asked him that before. Did he? Was it possible to learn after twenty-eight years of not knowing?

  ‘I want to not feel ashamed any more. To be able to stop telling lies to people.’ He paused. ‘But I do not want to go to school. How would that be?’

  She smiled and gathered his hands in hers. ‘You don’t have to go to school. I’m sure there’s loads of information on the internet we can download.’

  ‘I have not computer.’

  He couldn’t believe he was saying this to her. Finally admitting this to someone, to somebody he cared about. And she was holding his hands now, telling him it was a problem that could be fixed.

  ‘I have one. I can send you …’ She stopped. ‘Does anyone here know?’

  He shook his head. ‘A friend in Bulgaria fill in forms for animation team. I pay him to ask no questions. I have to hide this. If Tanja find out I will lose job. I need job to pay for work on church.’

  He watched her nod her head. Her fingers were still stroking his hands. She was still with him. She said she loved him. She hadn’t thrown him away like Rayna had.

  ‘How have you done this? How have you lived with this all your life?’

  He shrugged his shoulders. ‘I do not go to school. I look after younger brother while mother, father and Boyan work. When I am old enough, I go to work. I make after-school club in village. Then, when I leave for city I learn to drive for better job.’

  ‘You learnt to drive. What about signs and maps and ...’

  ‘There is always way to get around things.’

  ‘And you worked in bars and restaurants. What about food orders? Menus?’

  ‘I have good memory. I get someone to read menu to me and I learn.’

  Ellen smiled, shaking her head. ‘And you think you’re not clever. I don’t think I’ve met anyone more capable. I can’t imagine how you managed that.’

  He closed his eyes before slowly opening them again. ‘Ellen, I know this is not how you imagine me to be. You go home tomorrow. You expect to have letters and email. Now you know I cannot give you this.’

  ‘Are you keeping anything else from me, Yan? Are there any other secrets? Is there anything else I should know?’

  He shook his head with passion. ‘No.’

  ‘Then I’ll just have to save hard and come back here as soon as I can.’

  * * *

  Yan’s news had been a shock but it hadn’t rocked her. Knowing that he had kept this hidden, not just from her, but from everybody his entire life only made the fact that he had told her more poignant. Now he was looking at her as if he couldn’t believe what she was saying. Had he really thought she would run? Be horrified? Turn her back and leave? It was just a bump in the road, a blip, an obstacle that could be shifted, got over. All she felt about it was sorrow. Sadness that a boy had grown into a man and missed out on an education she had taken for granted. How must it have been for him? How hard had he had to struggle? How many lies had he had to tell in the name of self-preservation? Every day must have been a challenge, a worry, wondering if he was going to be caught out. Wondering what would happen if he was. How had he lived
that way for so long and how had it felt knowing the one person he’d confided in, a person he’d loved and trusted, had turned her back?

  ‘Are you sure, Ellen? I just tell you this and … you should take the time to think.’

  She shook her head, determined. ‘I don’t need time to think. I know what I feel in my heart and it has nothing to do with education.’ She squeezed his hand. ‘By the way, those few words of German are the only ones I can speak.’ She smiled. ‘And as for DIY, forget it.’

  ‘What does this mean?’

  ‘It means there are dozens of things I can’t do. If you’re looking for someone to put up some shelves in your after-school club I don’t think it’s me. So you can’t read or write … I can’t handle a screwdriver.’

  ‘You make joke,’ Yan said, smiling.

  ‘Yes, I’m not very good at those either.’

  She watched the light come back into his incredible blue eyes and she knew she’d never loved him more than at this moment. He’d shared his vulnerability with her, the secret he had been keeping for years. In her mind it made him a better person, a whole, rounded person. When you bared yourself to someone, showed the pieces of yourself you were less proud of, scared of, ashamed of, you were truly free. And if that person accepted all those bits of you, loved you just as you are, it was golden.

  52

  Yan hadn’t let go of her hand since they’d left his room at five a.m. They’d walked down to the beach in the dark, strolling barefoot across the sand and she’d tried to drink in the feel and spirit of Agios Spyridon. Each grain of sand on the soles of her feet provoked its own individual memory of her time there. She’d let the soothing sound of the sea fill her ears, the rugged mountains of Albania fill her vision and the taste of Yan’s kisses roll over her lips. She needed to be able to close her eyes when she was at home and recall these sights, scents and sounds. It would help her feel closer to Yan.

  They’d stopped by the church, which was as rundown and crumbly as the first time Ellen had seen it, but this time Yan was even more enthusiastic about his plans to renovate. It was his now. He had a plan and a vision and the passion to make it work. She was going to help him when she visited and do any admin she could manage from the UK.

  Now, they were walking up through the complex to reception, Yan wheeling her case for her. Neither of them had said a word since they’d arrived back on Blue Vue Hotel property. Their footsteps were slowing the nearer they got to reception.

  Ellen finally broke the silence at the bottom of the steps to the lobby. ‘My dad and Lacey are there already.’

  She could see her sister in her Juicy trackies, hair wound up on top of her head, sitting on one of her cases, headphones in her ears. Al was looking out of the glass door to the entrance wearing his favourite casual slacks, a lightweight jacket over his arm.

  ‘You do not want me to come?’ Yan asked, letting go of her hand.

  ‘No! No, of course I do.’ She took his hand back, sliding their fingers together. ‘It just means the coach will be here soon and I’ll have to go.’

  He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his body. ‘I do not care who see us now. Once key is handed in you are not holidaymaker anymore.’ He kissed the top of her head.

  ‘I don’t want to leave you,’ she said, her voice thick with tears.

  ‘I know. I feel the same.’

  * * *

  He just wanted to hold onto her, the way he had in his bed last night. Exploring her body and knowing she knew everything there was to know about him brought a whole new dimension to what he felt. He had never been that emotionally exposed with anyone. It was as if he had spent his whole life trying to be something he wasn’t and now he no longer had to pretend.

  She’d whispered in his ear and he’d kissed her every part until she’d squirmed and scratched and screamed his name. And then they’d lain together, content, wrapped up in their own world, unafraid for the first time about what was to come. Except for this day. The one morning they just had to get over. As soon as Ellen was gone it was one moment nearer to her coming back.

  ‘I should go.’ She sniffed. ‘The coach will be here soon.’

  Yan squeezed her hand.

  * * *

  ‘She’s here! Thank God you’re here! I was thinking you’d run off into the sunset and weren’t coming back. What would I have done then? I mean I need you at home with me. Back to back episodes of Tipping Point with Dad would do my head in.’

  Lacey had pounced forward as soon as Ellen and Yan had entered the reception. He was still holding her hand and she was carefully imprinting how it felt on her memory.

  She turned to Yan. ‘Would you like to meet my dad?’

  He smiled. ‘I would like this.’

  ‘You’re in luck. He seems to be in a good mood today. I think it’s because the restaurant manager gave him a loaf of that yellow bread to take on the plane,’ Lacey said.

  Ellen led the way over to Al, who was checking his watch.

  ‘Bus is late,’ he remarked.

  ‘Stop going on. It’ll be here,’ Lacey said.

  ‘Dad, I know you’ve met already but, this is Yan.’

  She let go of Yan’s hand and he quickly offered it towards Al.

  ‘Hello, Mr Brooks. It is very nice to meet with you.’

  Al looked Yan up and down from his trainers, up through his Blue Vue Hotel uniform, to his shaven haircut, unspeaking.

  ‘I hear you saved a young lad from drownin’,’ Al remarked.

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  ‘And I already know you’ve been lookin’ after my daughter.’

  ‘Ellen is very strong. She does not need anyone to look after,’ he responded.

  Ellen’s heart swelled with affection at his comment. He really knew how much her independence meant to her. They were going to be a partnership, an equal partnership, no matter how hard things got.

  Then her stomach dropped. The coach was crawling up alongside the hotel darkening the reception area. For a split second she didn’t know what to do. Lacey was already strutting towards the door, dragging one of her cases while Al started adjusting his holdalls.

  ‘Come outside,’ she begged Yan.

  ‘Ellen, it will be so hard. I should go now.’

  ‘No, please. Come outside. Wave to me.’ She tugged at his arm. ‘I want you to be the last person I see when the bus heads down the hill.’

  * * *

  Yan could see the tears in her eyes were close to spilling and they were forming in his eyes too, the more he looked at her and realised the significance of the moment. He brushed her hair away from her face with his fingers and placed a delicate kiss on her lips.

  ‘I will come,’ he whispered.

  He picked up Lacey’s second case and, pulling Ellen’s, he led the way outside.

  The sun was just coming up and the air was cool, the sky an inky blue. Other holidaymakers who had congregated on the steps outside were handing their cases off to the driver.

  ‘Be careful with that one, it’s got a litre of brandy in it,’ Lacey called to the driver as she handed over her case.

  ‘I wish I could stay,’ Ellen said.

  Yan turned to look at her then. She was shivering, her arms pimpled with goose bumps, her hair buffeted by the breeze. He wished this could be over. He had to concentrate on her coming back. She’d said a couple of months. It wasn’t that long. He had his job and the church repair to take up his time.

  He unzipped his fleece jacket and removed it. Slipping it around her shoulders, he moved in front of her to fasten it. ‘Take this. It is cold this morning.’

  ‘But it’s your uniform. Have you got another one?’

  He shrugged. ‘It does not matter.’

  ‘Ellen,’ Al called.

  * * *

  How had all the people got onto the coach so quickly? She was the last person left, standing on the marble steps next to the man she loved. The man she had to leave.

  ‘It
is OK,’ Yan said, taking hold of both her hands.

  She shook her head at him as the tears fell. ‘It isn’t. It isn’t OK.’

  ‘You have to go back. Find for me the information for learning. I will use every moment I have to practice this and when you come again …’ He lifted her chin with his finger. ‘I will write for you.’

  His words made her sob out loud but she nodded.

  ‘Ellen, come on, love, people are waitin’,’ Al called again.

  ‘You have to go now,’ Yan told her.

  She knew it was inevitable but that just made it worse. She threw her arms around him. How long would it be before she got to hold him again?

  Yan drew her face towards his and their lips met in a slow, deep kiss she couldn’t bear to end.

  ‘Go,’ he told her, tears snaking down his cheeks. He unfastened their hands almost brutally and edged her body towards the coach.

  * * *

  Yan couldn’t do this. He couldn’t stand there and see the coach depart, knowing it was taking her away from him. He didn’t want to wave. He wanted to turn his back now and head to his room.

  Instead he watched her climb the steps on board and make her way down the aisle to a seat by the window. As soon as she sat down she put her hand to the glass, as if she wanted to reach through it and re-engage with him. This was torture.

  The coach driver released the brake and the vehicle moved forward smoothly, slowly drifting away.

  He waved a hand, the tears still falling, but then he could no longer look. It was killing him. It was physical pain like he’d never known. One week. This one week had completely changed his life.

  And then there was a screech of brakes. He looked back to the road and saw that the coach had stopped just a few yards from the entrance to the complex, the red lights locked on. Seconds ticked by and still nothing happened. He was just considering movement when he heard the door release.