Midnight Frost

by Kailin Gow

  Their magic made me familiar with the place – I walked on with confidence. They had walked here on their journey to somewhere else, somewhere greater. This was neither death nor life, but an in-between stage – a stage that could lead back to the land of the living, or lead to other lands, other mysteries. Where were they now, my voices? Other Queens, other lives – other victories? What magic did they now know?

  I made my way through the forest, the tiny light of the Feyland sun growing ever-larger as I approached. A cliff loomed large in the distance, and as I grew closer I saw perched upon it a cloaked figure, dressed in black, motionless and silent. Who was the figure – standing beneath the shadow of an evergreen tree – was it waiting for me?

  I approached the edge of the cliff with my body tensed, my dagger ready. I had taken Redleaf's warning to heart – the Minotaur may not have scared me, but I was no longer in the land of the dead. I was no longer safe.

  But as the figure turned towards me, my fear vanished. The woman whose beautiful, blue eyes stared into mine meant me no harm – her face was full of kindness, of sympathy. She wanted no ill of me – of this I was sure. “Breena,” she said softly. “You have cheated death twice already. And it is still not your time. You don't belong here – nor do you belong down that path.” She pointed to a fork on the cliffside. One path led along the mountain, twisting around a bend, obscured by clouds. She turned. “You must go back there.” The other path led towards the twin suns – now looming large before me.

  “Who are you?” I asked.

  “I am one of the first queens of Feyland – a queen of ancient Winter magic. A magic that, I believe, you now contain within you. Or else you could not see me. Or else I would not speak to you.”

  I knew Redleaf had told me I would hear from Summer queens – but Winter ones? Surely I was not of their line?

  “What is your name!”

  “I am Queen Tamara,” the Queen answered. “My blood is Winter – but I come from a time so ancient that there was no winter, nor any summer. There was one Feyland, its power indivisible.”

  “There was such a time?” I asked. Kian had told me of the old legends – of the ancient Queen Tamara, of the time before the division of the Two Kingdoms. But this was the stuff of folk tales, even in Feyland. Few believed in such a time.

  “Yes,” said Tamara. “As it should be today. One magic – undivided. Black strengthened by white. Light strengthened by darkness. Cold strengthened by heat. Balance. A balance only you can bring about – you, a girl with Winter and Summer both within you.”

  “But I need to get back...”

  “You will get back,” Tamara said, her voice smooth and caressing. “I will help you. You will return to the ancient mountain from which you leapt – you will escape from here. You will find yourself where you were before the Dead called you for their own – at the side of the body of your beloved.”

  “The body...” My heart stopped. The mysterious enchantress at the mountain had promised me – my life for Kian's...I had willingly made the sacrifice – but I had not died. Had Kian, then...? “Is Kian...” I couldn't bear to finish my sentence. “Please tell me he's not...”

  “Your Kian is on the other side of the sun, Breena,” said Tamara, smiling. Her silvery-white hair sparkled as she spoke. “He is waiting for you. He is alive. He is safe.”

  The sound of his name was enough to bring me back to my longing. My heart swelled with desire – I wanted to be with him, to press my lips to his neck and chest and fingers, to close my eyes, to hear him whisper my name...I remembered my fears as I saw him collapse, wounded – I remembered the pain I felt when I felt him die in my arms. I couldn't go through that again. I had to see him for myself – I had to make sure...

  “Go to him, Breena,” said Tamara. “But you must know this. The kingdom of the Dead wishes to claim you for its own. You have cheated death twice now – and this time more than most is complicated. You ended up in the Kingdom of Death before your time – and only the power of the Summer and Winter Queens combined was able to save you. Right now, you are needed. Right now, we must save you. We need you to bring peace. What some of our Queens have created, other Queens have destroyed. Death has followed life. But it is now your turn to create. You human girl – who let love rule over power in your heart. You must let this love give rise to life.”

  She beckoned towards me, and led me towards the path that led towards the sun. Suddenly, the rocks crumbled at my feet, falling into dust. I was at the edge of a precipice – nothing between me and the suns of Feyland but air.

  “You must fly, Your Highness.” Tamara smiled.

  My wings. So they were real, after all – that dream I had while falling....that was real.

  A sense of confidence – of fullness and peace – came over me. I knew what I had to do. I stepped into the nothingness, into the air, and let myself fall. I let the magic take over – the magic of Redleaf and the Summer Queens, the magic of Queen Tamara of Winter, the stories and voices of all those who had come before me, of all those who believed in me, who had worked to keep me alive, to keep me safe. Even Redleaf.

  I wouldn't let them down. Not this time.

  I felt my wings flapping at my back. I closed my eyes, willing them to do my bidding, willing them to let me soar.

  I began rising, feeling my magic connect with the magic of the wings – feeling myself gain power over these strange gossamer contraptions. They were mine – a symbol of my power. Of my rule. Of my destiny.

  They kept me up high as I flew towards the sun.

  Chapter 4

  As I approached the sun, glowing before me, I felt its warmth upon my face. This was the Winter Sun – not a flaming ball of heat like the Summer Sun at the other end of Feyland, but rather a reassuring, comforting feeling. The chill of the Kingdom of the Dead seemed to have left me; I no longer felt that horrid presentiment of death and destruction all around me. I was back in Feyland; my skin tingled with the sensation of its magic. I was back in my kingdom – the kingdom I loved. My body, my blood, my new wings could all sense it: the voices of the Ancient Summer Queens seemed to be calling to me, beckoning me home. I closed my eyes as I flew forth, unable to withstand the light of the fairy sun, passing through it sightless. As the light of the Winter Sun enveloped me, I felt that strange power within me – the power of Winter – respond to the Winter's light. It felt unnatural to me – these sparks of blue light that were emitted from my fingertips. The Summer magic I knew. The Summer magic I could harness – I knew, after all, that it belonged to me, that it was my birthright. But this new Winter magic was unfamiliar to me; it frightened me even as my newfound power gave me strength to withstand the light. I flew straight into the heart of the sun and kept on going, feeling myself pass through, until at last, I could open my eyes and see before me the mountain from which I had fallen.

  The enchantress to whom I had spoken was gone; the mountaintop was bare. Smooth frost covered its surface, alongside trailing ivy, whose leaves were flecked with silver. This was the ancient mountain – the most secret and holy place – the source of all immortality. I could feel my skin prickle as my body responded to the magic of the place; this was not, I knew, a place that any fairy could find. I had made my way here because I had been summoned here – because my destiny called me here – the magic of this place, older than the division between Summer and Winter, between fairies and the other magical creatures.

  And there, lying splayed out across the smooth ice of the peak, was a body. A body I knew well even from a distance – a body whose contours I had kissed and outlined every night in my sleep. It was Kian.

  My heart stopped in fear – was he not alive, as Tamara had promised me? His eyes were closed, I saw, as I came closer – his face more beautiful than ever, his smooth snowy skin pinker than before...

  “Kian!” I called, hitting the ground with a thud that brought me to my knees. “Kian!” He couldn't be dead, I told myself, my heart pounding faster and f
aster, he just couldn't be...

  “Breena?” A murmur escaped his lips as his eyes fluttered open. “Breena, what's going...?” He looked around in confusion. “I fell asleep...or something. Where am I?”

  I rushed into his arms, tackling him to the ground in a great bear hug. “Alive, you silly boy – alive! That's all that matters!”

  “Alive? Of course I'm alive!” Kian took my affection gladly, but still seemed more than a little confused. “Why wouldn't I be...” He stopped mid-sentence, his memory coming back to him. The coming of the Dark Hordes, the slaughter of Winter and Summer fairies alike, his injury in battle, his death... “Did I...?”

  “You were dead, Kian,” I whispered, hardly daring to believe that it was real – hardly daring to believe that he was alive after all. “Only, we got you back...”

  “How?” Kian's eyes were wide open as he sought to take in his surroundings, to make sense of it all. “Where is this place?”

  “Your mother sent me here,” I told him, pressing his knuckles to my lips, trying in vain to keep them warm. “When you were...when you were dead. She told me that there was an ancient story, a myth about this place – the fountain of immortality. Where eternal life could be found. And I found this fairy – or something – I don't know what she was. Some enchantress with great magic. And she told me I could trade – my life for yours. My immortality, my snowflake pendant, for your life.”

  “You didn't!” Kian's joy turned to horror. “You didn't promise...”

  “But it's okay,” I was running out of breath, but I couldn't stop – I had to get the story out as quickly as I could, my joy giving me strength. “I didn't die! I jumped off the mountain, like I was supposed to – but I didn't fall. In fact...I flew!”

  Kian's eyes opened even wider as he caught sight of my wings, fanning out behind me, the gold and blue feathers shining even more brightly now.

  “They're...beautiful,” he whispered, pride twinkling in his blue eyes. “But how?”

  “I don't know,” I said. “I passed out before I hit the ground. But when I woke up, I was in the kingdom of the Dead – this horrible place, where nothing was alive, only the spirits of fairies with too much hatred, too much anger, to move on. And I met Redleaf there, and she told me that the Dead are part of the Dark Hordes now, that they'll be summoned to fight...and then she helped me – I don't know why – got me to the other side, to this even stranger place, that wasn't either life or death, this in-between place with buds on these dead trees, and a Winter queen was there – Tamara!”

  “Tamara?” Kian gave a little laugh of surprise. “Queen Tamara has been dead for thousands of years.”

  “She was there!” I insisted. “And she helped me find my way back. Kian, I think they helped me. I think they saved me from death – all of the Summer Queens. And the Winter ones too.”

  “But I'm alive,” Kian said, looking down at his hands, his limbs, his body in surprise. “If I'm alive...”

  “I died,” I said. “Or I as good as died!”

  Kian fixed his gaze upon me, his love shining through his silvery blue eyes. “You would do that for me?” he asked.

  “Don't sound so surprised – of course I did!” I wrapped my arms around him once more, feeling my relief at last sink in, feeling his muscles relax as he returned my embrace.

  “You shouldn't have done it,” Kian said, his face flushing pink. “I love you too much to think you would ever – ever die for me! When I would give all I have to keep you safe.”

  “Even if I had died,” I said, as Kian drew me in for a kiss, “it would have been worth it.”

  “My brave Breena!” Kian said softly. His lips met mine, and as they touched I felt the same familiar joy, the same magic, overtaking me. This was my love – the love of my life – this was the place where the edges of my soul fit so neatly into his – where all my emptiness, my longing, my desires were met by an equal and opposite force – filling what was missing in me, letting me fill what was missing in him. We were not two bodies, not two discrete and separate forces, but a single melded ocean of love, our powers so intertwined that I could not have said what belonged to me and what belonged to him. We were a single force, stronger in our unity than in any separation. As his hands reached for mine, as we rolled together in the cold snow earth of the mountain, our bodies wrapped around each other, a pale flame began to glow all around us – at once gold and silver, blue and red, the colors of Feyland all uniting together in a single, gleaming force.

  “Look up!” I forced myself to separate my lips from Kian's for a moment. “It's beautiful!”

  The colors began to spark and flame off each other, transforming the one into the other, so that silver melted into gold, and gold heated into red, and red fragmented and turned to blue and at last the blue poured into silver again. It felt like a canopy above us – the proof of our love – the proof that here, where the magic of the world was most ancient, where its secrets were hidden so deep that we would never fathom them, here the ancient spirits of Feyland did not scoff at our love, did not despise it as our families had done. Here our love was true; it was pure. Here the unity of our bodies, of our lips and hands and spirits, was not a threat to magic but a celebration of the most ancient magic of all – of the power of our love, with all its passion, all its dangers, to save Feyland.

  “I've never seen anything like it,” said Kian, holding me closer.

  “That's us,” I said. “You and me – Summer and Winter. Together.”

  He kissed my hand. “I can't believe what a fool I was,” he said. “When you were under that spell – when you were lost to me. I let myself think that you didn't care for me – that you didn't love me at all. How could you love me, I thought, when I couldn't give you half of what you needed, of what you deserved. Peace. Loyalty. Stability. A family.”

  “I want all those things,” I said. “One day. But I believe – I have faith now – that one day those things will come for us. Redleaf and Tamara, both of them – they said that my destiny was to unite the fairy kingdoms once more – so that there would be no Summer. No Winter. Only fairies – together. You and I – we'll have that, one day. They told me so.”

  “If you have faith,” said Kian, “I have faith. Your love for me has saved my life – on this occasion, my Breena, and on so many others. You have put your trust in me – now I trust you. If my love can ever save your life – I hope it can do so.” He sighed. “But I cannot help but worry about you. You have managed to cheat death twice, my darling – how do I know that the third time, you will not be so lucky.”

  I thought back to how I'd felt falling down the mountain – my fear, my anger, my pain. My desire to live a normal life – my desire to return to Feyland – my two lives flashing before my eyes. When the time came – and both Redleaf and Tamara had told me that one day it would come – would I be brave enough to face that fall a second time?

  “I guess you'll have to protect me then,” I said.

  “And you'll protect me.”

  “Exactly.”

  I cuddled into his arms. “Let's get some sleep,” I said. “Tomorrow, we have a great deal to do.”

  “Don't we always?” he said, holding me tighter and closer until my head rested gently on his broad chest. I listened happily to the strong beat of his heart relishing the sound of life in him. Never had a breath nor a heartbeat sounded as musical to me as his, pressed against me.

  “We always do.”

  Chapter 5

  We set out the next day from the mountain, seeking our way back to Feyland. The journey here had been easier – the Pegasus on which I had ridden, one of the Winter Queen's steeds, seemed to know where to go, as if the mountain had been calling us both forth. But now it was different. We could see the Summer Sun of Feyland in the distance, but that was our only hint as to where to go. Kian and I walked for miles – the landscape changing from mountain to forest and back again. We were in no hurry to get home, even as we knew it was necessary t
o do so. Last time we had been in the Summer lands, it had been the site of a great siege – the pixies, Dark Hordes, and Winter fairies fighting together against Summer. I shuddered to think of what we would find when we arrived there. Destruction? Death? Would I see the corpses of those I loved – my father, who was leading the armies, Logan, the Winter Queen, Rodney, Shasta? Would I see my palace laid to waste – would I see both Summer and Winter destroyed by the Dark Hordes, our castles overrun by Minotaurs and phantoms, giants and witches? My fear made me silent, and Kian and I passed our travels without much conversation. He, too, I knew, feared for his family – for his mother and his sister, for all his boyhood friends who could, at this very moment, be losing their lives on the battlefield, just as his father had done.

  We held hands as we walked; we let our loves co-exist in silence. We could not bear to speak, because speaking meant talking of Feyland, and every mention of Feyland silently spoke of our terror – what was left of the land we loved? Was anything left at all?

  At last on the fourth day of walking we arrived in a forest that Kian recognized as vaguely familiar. “It's not Summer or Winter or Spring,” he said. “This is no man's land – or rather, Wolfsland.”

  “Wolfsland?” My heart swelled. “Then they might have some news – of Logan! Of the other wolves.” I caught myself just in time – I knew that my affection for Logan was a sore spot for Kian, all the more so given our recent history. But I knew, too, that Logan and Kian had developed, in spite of their rivalry, something that – if not friendship – was at least mutual respect. They both cared for peace and they both cared for me, and there was no time – in this age of wars and slaughter – to engage in petty debates over which of the two was more likely to win my heart. I knew for certain that Kian was my true love – I knew too that my love for Logan was real, in its own way. He was my childhood friend, my closest companion – he was the one I might have loved, had I only stayed in Gregory. Had I only stayed normal, had I never met Kian.