Breaking the Governess's Rules

by Michelle Styles

  ‘Why are you down here? Are you going to try to seduce me into arranging a meeting with Venetia? You are too late. She left during dinner.’ He held up a hand, stopping her words. ‘She demanded a carriage and passage to the Continent. I saw no reason to stop her. You may despise me if you like.’

  ‘Venetia and I have already exchanged words. We have nothing more to say to each other.’ Louisa pressed her hands against the skirt of her gown. Venetia had run without ever telling Jonathon about the encounter. She had abandoned her daughter rather than face up to her crime. ‘You were right about that.’

  He dipped his head. ‘When did this encounter happen?’

  ‘Before supper, but there was no chance to tell you and then you disappeared …’

  ‘Venetia never breathed a word.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me that she had gone?’

  ‘I do have a responsibility towards my tenants. After she departed another matter claimed my attention.’ He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. ‘I have spent the better part of the evening out in the freezing rain, trying to figure out what precisely happened at Middle Farm. But I am curious—how did you waylay her?’

  ‘I did not plan on it, Jonathon. We met on the stairs. Miss Daphne was with me. Your stepmother confronted me. At my request Miss Daphne withdrew and I faced her on my own. In private.’ Louisa glared at him. ‘I did not seek the fight, but neither would I run from it.’

  ‘Did my stepmother upset you?’ he asked urgently. ‘I wanted to spare you that.’

  ‘Surprisingly, no—more than anything I pitied her.’

  ‘Pitied?’ His face showed his amazement.

  ‘To be that consumed by ambition and hatred…’ Louisa turned her palms face upwards. ‘We have an understanding—the loathing is on her part. For mine, I want to live my life unhampered by the past. I have fought my demon and won. And, Jonathon, my demon was not your stepmother, but my fear of being inadequate and unworthy.’

  Louisa waited unflinchingly under his amazed gaze, ready for when he stretched out his hand. He made no move towards her.

  ‘Is that the only reason you have sought me out?’ he asked, breaking the silence. ‘I never had any doubts about your worthiness.’

  Louisa took a great breath. She had to seize the opportunity. She had one chance to make it right.

  ‘I came here on another purpose,’ she admitted. ‘To seduce you.’

  ‘Seduction?’ He gave an amused laugh. ‘Or wishing I would seduce you?’

  ‘I am aware of the difference.’ Confidence bubbled through her. For this once, she would take what she wanted without apology or shame.

  ‘So you say.’ His eyes danced full of hidden fire. ‘But I wonder …’

  ‘I am a grown woman. I take full responsibility.’

  Louisa worried her bottom lip. He needed to know that she was not expecting for ever. ‘I am not looking for marriage, Jonathon. I want to live in the now.’

  The shadow of a dimple shone in his cheek. ‘Are you certain about this? Seducing me will not be easy.’

  ‘Yes, I am certain.’

  With three quick steps, Louisa reached him and undid his stock, throwing it on the ground. Without giving herself time to think or pause, she undid the buttons of his shirt. The shifting light from the fire turned his skin to red-gold, begging to be tasted. He did not move to touch her or help her.

  Her fingers faltered and stilled. It was far harder than she had imagined. She willed him to respond, but he stood unmoving with his chin slightly raised, the shirt hanging loose about his body. ‘Shall I go away?’

  ‘No.’ The word was drawn from his throat. He put his hands on her shoulders, held her from him. His seagreen gaze penetrated her being. ‘What do you hope to gain from this little experiment?’

  ‘Making love with you is not about gaining anything. It is about experiencing life.’ She kept her head up and made her words sound firm. ‘If a man might seduce a woman for no purpose, why can’t an independent woman seduce a man?’

  ‘I am in no mood for joking, Louisa.’ He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand on end. ‘If you start something, you must be willing to finish it no matter when that finish is. You must be prepared to accept the consequences.’

  ‘I understand and I am not looking beyond the end of the night.’ She rose up on her tiptoes and brushed his cheek with her lips. The daringness of it made her head swim. ‘I want you to hold me. Please.’

  His hands tightened on her shoulders and pulled her unresisting body towards him. Her breasts hit his chest. ‘I am a man, Louisa, not some bloody hero.’

  He lowered his mouth. She entangled her hands in his hair and pulled him closer. Her entire body thrilled with the power of his kiss.

  His hands undid the small buttons at the top of her evening gown. The bodice sagged, revealing her chemise and the tops of her breast.

  Slowly, reverently, he traced the outline of her breasts. Her nipples tightened under his touch and her back arched forwards. Now she wished that she had been simply dressed in her nightdress, rather trying to seduce him in her evening clothes. Her gown fell to the floor with a soft sigh, quickly followed by her petticoats until she stood in the firelight, clad only in her chemise, drawers and corset. Her carefully arranged hair fell in disarray about her shoulders.

  ‘You wear your corset far too tight,’ he rasped in her ear. ‘I nearly had to destroy it.’

  ‘I have a small waist.’

  ‘But there is no need to faint.’ His fingers freed the strings, unlacing her with a few expert twists of his hands. ‘I enjoy you how you were made, Louisa, not conforming to fashionable dictates.’

  ‘I thought this was supposed to be about me seducing you.’ She leaned forwards and captured his fingers. She took each one into her mouth and suckled, rolling her tongue and holding them. ‘You are slightly overdressed.’

  She slipped her hand between the soft linen of his shirt and his firm chest. Using his actions as a guide, she teased his nipples, making them grow into hard nubs beneath her fingers. Then she pushed the material to one side, bent her head and tasted.

  He groaned softly as his hands gently held her against him. Slowly she moved down his chest, nibbling and trailing open-mouthed kisses until she reached his belly button and felt his arousal against her cheek.

  Her hands stilled on his trousers. Did she dare?

  She pushed the thought away. The new Louisa, the Louisa she had become tonight, did dare. Later, she would think about what she had done, but tonight was for exploring and for feeling and remembering how good it could be. How much better they were together.

  Her hand unfastened the button band and then she held him. Hot and strong. Alive. She ran one finger down his silken length and felt him surge upwards. She started to take him in her mouth, but his hands pulled her up, along his body until their mouths were level and his arousal pressed into the apex of her thighs.

  ‘Let me pleasure you. I want this to last.’

  She drew her hand back quickly. ‘My touch fails to please you?’

  ‘If you continue on, this will end very quickly and you will not enjoy it as much you should.’ His fingers tilted her head back so she could see his passion-filled eyes. ‘Your pleasure increases mine.’

  Jonathon eased her down in front of the fire. He was no saint, he knew that and he wanted her. He ran his hand down her face, savouring her, and felt her flesh quiver under his touch. Surely her surrender after today meant she accepted that they were to be together. She was his.

  He pushed the material to one side and laid her bare. He trailed his fingers down her abdomen and tangled them in her auburn triangle.

  Immediately her body began to buck. His fingers slipped into her innermost folds, seeking her core. First one finger, then two, gently stroking her. She convulsed about him and his body surged, but he held on to his control. This time he would give her pleasure, so much pleasure that she would be tempted never to leave his arms
.

  He had always considered himself a good and thoughtful lover, but there was more to it this time. This was about Louisa and binding her to him. This time she would not leave.

  She writhed her head on the floor, her red hair spilling out over the carpet. He put his mouth where his fingers were and licked, taking in the warm wetness that was her. Heat threatened to consume him as her body responded with great racking shivers.

  Her hands clawed at his shoulders. ‘Please, please.’

  He lifted his head and stared directly into her passion-lit pupils. ‘You are mine. You belong to me. Say it.’

  ‘I am yours.’ Her breath came in quick sharp pants. ‘Jonathon. Please.’

  He positioned himself and thrust as her hips rose to greet him. He marvelled at how she closed around him and held him. Her hips began to move, setting the rhythm. He matched it, feeling her breasts brush in time along the length of his chest.

  Louisa grabbed his shoulders and held him. Kept him within her as the world thrummed about her.

  She had nearly confessed her love for him, but this was far too soon. Love was not what this was about. This was about her choices in life.

  She moved her hips faster and faster. And she knew that this was what living was about—being in his arms. Tomorrow or the next day, she’d consider the future but right now she wanted to experience and to be a part of him.

  A great shuddering overcame her and then him. After, they lay tangled in each other’s arms, skin touching skin. Louisa turned her head and saw the statue of Eros and Psyche, intertwined. Love and soul together, bathed in the firelight.

  Physically Jonathon and she were as close as two people could be. But Louisa knew it was not enough. She wanted more. She wanted a true meeting of love and souls.

  No shields, no excuses and no boundaries, he had said, but he kept them erected as well. If they were to have a future, she wanted to be in all parts of his life, not that little bit labelled Louisa.

  ‘Did I do the seduction right?’ she asked, raising herself up on her elbow and looking down at his face. His long eyelashes framed his eyes perfectly.

  ‘You show promising signs.’ He trailed a finger down the length of her thigh. ‘You definitely meet all requirements. However, I wish to try it a few more times before giving you a definitive answer.’

  It would be so easy to give in to him and to allow herself to be distracted from her purpose.

  ‘And there are no rules between us?’

  His hand stilled and withdrew. Louisa shivered slightly. She might be prepared to bare her soul, but Jonathon played by his own set of rules, just as he had always done. He gave a heart-melting smile and reached for her. ‘I want you with me in my arms.’

  She evaded his arms, hugging her knees instead. ‘That is not the same thing. Even after this afternoon, you seem unwilling to share things with me.’

  ‘What things?’ He frowned. ‘Oh, the break–in at Middle Farm? It is of no import. The farmer winged both men. They will not have escaped far. Allow me to handle it.’

  Louisa did not give an answering smile back. Her guess was correct. He wanted to keep the estate and everything from her. He was not interested in the long term. Theirs was a meeting of bodies and no more. But she knew she had to try one last time. ‘If it is unimportant, why didn’t you tell me about it when I asked the first time?’

  ‘Clarissa never asked about such things. They bored her to tears. She—’

  ‘Understood? Let you look after her? Never questioned your decisions.’ Louisa reached for her clothes. ‘But I am not Clarissa. I can never be her.’

  He gave her a long level look. Her insides twisted up tightly. He had to understand what she was asking and why. She wanted him as her partner, not as her master.

  ‘Clarissa was my wife and she died having Arthur. She is in my past. What else can I say? You want everything, Louisa, but are prepared to give little in return. Have you ever shown that you want to be part of my world, Louisa? Or are you always going to bolt back to your little cottage in Sorrento with its vines and lemons? Would you let me in your life there? Or is what we share for England only?’

  ‘How can you ask me that?’

  ‘I could ask you the same question. You will have to decide. But I want everything, Louisa. I want to be a part of your life. You need me.’

  With as much dignity as she could muster, Louisa gathered her remaining clothes. She took a final look at the statue and knew she had lost. What Jonathon and she had could never be a true meeting of love and soul. Not until he was prepared to share his life with her as an equal. ‘You have given me my answer. Thank you for setting me free.’

  Chapter Fourteen

  A great hollow opened inside Louisa. It had grown ever since she had left Jonathon. The thought of not seeing him again filled her with horror.

  The mist hung about the gardens, turning the spiders’ webs into diamonds. The whole world was remade and waiting for her. Louisa walked along with a brisk step, rapidly putting distance between her and the house. It was what she wanted—independence and freedom. But why did her life suddenly seem so lonely?

  A quick turn about the garden would settle her nerves. She knew she had lied last night. So much of her wanted this to be for ever, rather than for right now. She wanted to spend the rest of her natural life with him and for his smile to be the first thing she saw every morning and the last thing at night. But he had never followed her. She had bared her soul for him—now he had to do the same. He had to want to share his life instead of simply looking after her.

  A faint shushing noise made her turn. ‘Who goes there?’

  ‘It is just me, miss.’ Annie stood frozen against the skyline. Her eye sported a fresh bruise. In her arms she carried Arthur.

  ‘Who hit you, Annie?’

  ‘That don’t matter, miss. You ought to go now, miss.’ Annie gave a half-smile. ‘You haven’t seen a thing, right?’

  ‘Why do you have Arthur?’

  Annie’s tongue flicked over her lips. ‘I…I am looking after him for my aunt, Nanny Hawks. Everything is well, miss.’

  ‘I didn’t know you were that close to your aunt.’ Louisa went towards the pair. ‘Where is Nanny Hawks?’

  ‘She’s not well.’ Annie’s gaze slid away from her. ‘I’m … I’m taking Arthur to my mother. You see, Lord Chesterholm don’t have much time for him … and … please, we need to go, miss. It has been pleasant speaking with you and all.’

  The back of Louisa’s neck crawled. Annie was lying. Jonathon always made time for Arthur, despite his busy schedule. She had seen that time and again over the past few days. He was a good father, a father who cared, and he thought Nanny Hawks and her niece were not close. She doubted that he had given his permission, not with the house party on. ‘Trevor found you. He hit you.’

  Annie hunched her shoulders and hid her face. ‘I had best be going. Arthur is getting a bit mardy.’

  ‘Give Arthur to me, Annie. I will look after him.’ Louisa held out her arms, but Annie tightened hers about Arthur. Louisa’s heart sank. Annie needed Arthur for some reason, for something that was connected with her black eye. Right now, she had to get Arthur to safety and then she’d raise the alarm. ‘Arthur and I are friends. I will look after him. Keep him with me until your aunt is better.’

  At the sound of his name, Arthur began to struggle against the confines of Annie’s arms.

  ‘Ouch, the little beggar bit me.’ Annie slapped Arthur’s hand.

  ‘Release him, Annie. Now,’ Louisa said, glaring at the woman. ‘He wants to get down.’

  ‘That wouldn’t be wise, miss … not when he is in one of his moods.’ She shifted Arthur to her other hip. Arthur’s wails punctuated the still morning air. ‘Me ma … me ma knows what to do with him when he is in one of his moods. He ain’t right in the head, see.’

  Louisa’s stomach revolted at the words. Annie lied with such ease. There was nothing wrong with Arthur.

  ‘Yo
ur man did do that. He’s back, isn’t he? Why lie? You are taking Arthur to him.’ Louisa quickly crossed the remaining distance. She caught Annie’s arm. ‘You have no right to do that. Give Arthur to me! Stop this while you still can!’

  ‘You ought not to interfere, miss.’ Annie shrugged Louisa’s hand off. ‘I know you mean well, but me mam needs him. My aunt gave permission. Truly she did. She has helped me out afore, like.’

  ‘Did Lord Chesterholm know?’

  ‘But, miss … I promised.’ Annie’s voice held a note of desperation. ‘Aunt Mary understood.’

  ‘Give Arthur to me and I will go with you to your mother’s,’ Louisa said slowly.

  ‘You’d do that for me? Explain why I don’t have things, like.’

  ‘Yes, I would.’ Louisa knew she should refuse, but what could happen to her? It was not as if she was a blushing miss; she had looked after herself for years and the streets of Naples were far rougher than the fields around Chesterholm. She would never forgive herself if she stood by and allowed Annie to take Arthur. ‘First we will take Arthur back to the nursery. You know you do not want Arthur there. You do not want your man hitting a defenceless child.’

  Annie gave a sigh and loosened her arms. Arthur jumped down. ‘Go back to Nanny, Arthur, Go back now! Afore I change my mind.’

  Arthur sat down in the dirt, looking up with wide grey eyes.

  ‘We ought to take him back. To be sure that he makes it,’ Louisa urged. If she could get Annie to return to the house, she could get help. Her arms ached to pick Arthur up, but Annie had positioned her body between Louisa and Arthur as if she were standing guard over him.

  ‘There isn’t time, see.’ Annie gave him a shove. ‘Go to Nanny, Arthur. There’s a good lad.’

  Arthur began to toddle off. Louisa started off towards him, but Annie’s fingers closed around her wrist and held her tight, forcing her to walk away from the boy. Annie’s strength surprised Louisa. She tried twisting her arm, but the woman only tightened her grip.