Murder on the Equator Box Set

by Becca Bloom

  “That explains why my Big Red was in his car. I hope he didn’t get rid of my e-reader.”

  “I’ll find out.”

  I was exhausted and I desperately needed a shower. My skin felt grimy with the fine film of dried mud covering my arms and legs. At least, I hoped it was just dirt.

  When every detail had been recounted to the best of my memory, and Agent Vasquez had tucked his notepad back in his pocket, Sylvia wrapped her arms around me in an all-consuming embrace. She squeezed me so tightly, she pushed all the air out of my lungs and I couldn't breathe. But it felt so nice.

  The coffee got me through a teary call with Fernanda — who promised to swing by for lunch before school tomorrow — my much anticipated shower, and into my pajamas. After that, I didn't remember anything until my alarm went off the next morning at the good, decent hour of eight o’clock. I stretched and relaxed in my comfy bed, finally feeling like I was on vacation.

  Chapter 26

  One week later, we were able to lure Agent Vasquez away from Ambato and the mountain of paperwork he complained about. As with everything in this country, it could be dealt with mañana. My doughnuts, however, tasted best when eaten fresh. Five dozen golden doughnuts cooled on wire racks, spread out over the center table with bowls of frosting and sprinkles ready to decorate them.

  My laptop was ready too. It was my family’s night to call and I thought they’d want to see everyone. The comic I’d sent them yesterday had already received several replies. They praised my creativity and imagination. They thought I’d made it all up.

  I mixed up the goofball batter while Abuelita and Tia Rosa fought over who would be in charge of frying them.

  "You burn balls," charged Abuelita.

  "You sabotage! You turn burner high and make oil too hot," fired back Tia Rosa.

  Jake was home from his jungle excursion, looking as tanned and muscled as ever. An embarrassing urge to giggle every time he looked at me had me focusing intently on the batter in front of me as I whipped it into submission. Better that the goofballs turn out as hard as rocks than embarrass myself by acting half my age. Abuelita would notice and she would torment me about it. Or worse — she would tell Jake.

  Sylvia and Adriana were busy over the stove, making a typical dish they said I would love. We had a lot to celebrate. A murderer had been caught, Jake was home, my family was calling, Adi’s bridesmaid gowns had been approved by the bride and she had her first real commission, my doughnuts looked perfect … Oh, and Agent Vasquez ended up being a pretty cool guy. (I think he had an eye for Sylvia. If he was willing to brave Abuelita, then he forever had my respect.) I’d even caught Abuelita calling him by his first name, Washington. When Adi called him Washo, he had seemed pleased. He’d been so busy tying up all the loose ends in the Guzmán’s double murder case, we hadn’t seen him since the night of Martin’s arrest.

  "Whatever happened to Martha and her pack of kids?" asked Washo as he sipped on a glass of tree tomato juice. (Which, I found out does not taste like tomatoes in the least.)

  Sylvia topped off his glass. "Maria willed everything to Martha. The house, the car, everything. You can imagine, she doesn't want to live in the house or drive the car, but she can sell them for a good price. The money will really help her."

  Abuelita chimed in. "Maria better sister dead. She terrible mean alive."

  Tia Rosa poked her with the fork she used to turn the goofballs over in the hot oil. "Is not nice speak bad of dead person, okay?”

  Abuelita shrugged her bony shoulders. "She mean."

  Another stab. "And what people say about you? Hmm?"

  Ignoring them, Washo said, “I drove by The Lava Lounge on my way here. Dario had big signs up announcing a reopening party."

  "He is one cool customer. I couldn't understand everything he said on the news, but he didn’t look worried at all when he was shut down." I have little respect for people … well, little was too much … I had no respect for people who cut corners and deceived others just to make a quick buck. I had rejoiced when he’d been shut down for selling counterfeit liquor.

  Sylvia agreed. “Take comfort in the small fortune he must have spent on fines and bribes. Maybe the hit to his wallet will teach him a lesson.”

  Adi grinned at me. "Unfortunately for you, Christian came out smelling like a rose. He was under investigation on the suspicion of being an illegal liquor provider, but it turns out he really is a legal importer. Dario just did business with Maria and José because they could offer what he claims is the same goods for much cheaper. Christian thinks he’s pretty hot stuff for being on the news."

  He’d been so busy being a media star, he’d pretty much left me alone. I did manage to apologize to him for acting like a lunatic at our last meeting, but that had ended badly. He tried to kiss me and I punched him in the nose. Not having grown up with brothers, I have no idea where that had come from. I swear I’m not a violent person.

  I checked my watch. I could just imagine Mammy and my sisters crowding into Mom and Dad's house, each fighting to get a better spot in front of the camera. They had a lot more in common with Abuelita and Tia Rosa than I had believed possible.

  Mixing the chocolate and powdered sugar until it was smooth and creamy, I placed the bowl in front of Washo. I didn't trust Abuelita not to lick the chocolate out of the bowl before the goofballs were fried and cool enough to handle.

  I grabbed a piece of chorizo from the plate by Adi and whistled for Lady. She met me at the screen door, took her prize gently in her mouth, and trotted back up the stairs to her post. Ten days had passed and nobody had called to claim her. She seemed perfectly content where she was and Abuelita slipped her food when she thought no one was looking.

  Jake sat by Washo and started dipping the goofballs. “Are you going to tell your folks about your upcoming plans?” he asked me.

  “Absolutely! I can’t thank you and Adi enough for arranging a special tour for me.” They’d thought of everything. Knowing I loved to ride bikes, they’d planned a ride from Baños to Puyo, stopping along the way to take the cable cars across the river to see the waterfalls. Once in Puyo, we’d go to the Animal Rescue Center. It was like a jungle zoo for injured and endangered animals.

  From Puyo, we’d go deeper into the jungle to a place called Tena (at which point, Adi would leave us to do the final fittings for the wedding party). Jake had arranged for some friends of his to take us whitewater rafting on the Rio Napo. And then, to top everything off, we’d go to Misahualli where the pesky monkeys stole water bottles, sunglasses, and cameras. We’d hike a waterfall trail, visit a butterfly farm, and take a canoe up the river to a cacao plantation where we could make our own chocolate. We would leave in two days.

  My computer chimed and we huddled around the screen, squeezing and pushing just like my family did thousands of miles away. Only Washo stayed on the other side of the table, saying that he didn’t want to interfere. I didn’t insist. After tonight, we’d most likely see less of him anyway.

  Mom and Sylvia squealed together and complimented each other’s hair while Abuelita chewed Dad out for letting his silver hair grow too long. Tia Rosa thought it looked beautiful, which probably did more to convince Dad to visit the barber shop than Abuelita’s criticism.

  Kids were introduced and I felt my jaw clench when I saw Jessamyn notice Jake. She flipped her perfectly smooth locks over her shoulder and crossed her slender legs. He made my night when he chose the moment she flashed her brightest smile to rest his hand on my shoulder. It could have been a brotherly gesture, but I gloried in the one and only time in my memory when a boy showed more attention to me than to my younger, prettier sister. It’s the little things.

  “We loved your comic, honey,” Mammy said. “How did you think of all of that?”

  Abuelita answered before I could. “She do it.”

  Tia Rosa shoved her glasses up her nose. “All of it. Jessica great driver.”

  That revelation was met with a lengthy silen
ce.

  Mom finally found her voice. “The corpse in the cab? The bootleg booze? The machete murder? That all happened?”

  Mammy pumped her fist in the air. “Woo hoo! My Jess solved a murder case! I knew you had it in you, pumpkin. I hope you took a lot of pictures.”

  Jessenia whipped out her cell phone and poked at the screen while keeping Jayden’s fingers away from the computer’s camera. “You can’t stay there. It’s too dangerous. There’s a flight leaving first thing in the morning. You’d have three layovers, but it’s the quickest way out of there. Hang on a moment. I’ll call.”

  “No, Jessenia. I want to stay. Despite all the problems, I’m having the time of my life and I’m not ready to come home yet.”

  I must have spoken firmly enough. She lowered her phone and pulled Jayden closer to her. I wiggled my fingers and made a funny face at him.

  Dad, who hadn’t said anything since Abuelita and Tia Rosa had outed my secret, said, “We did send you to Baños for an adventure. You’ve always been an overachiever and I’m proud of you.”

  “Just try to be more careful, will you, Jess?” added Mom.

  “I will. I don’t plan on being involved in any more murder investigations ever again.”

  That got me a thumbs up from Washo.

  Right then, we lost our Internet signal, but it had been good while it had lasted. I missed my family, but they seemed to be managing fine without me. I’d write them a long email later. With a sigh, I pushed the screen down and moved my laptop out of the way to make room for the sugary treats covering the island.

  "I heard what you said, Jessica, and I’m holding you to it. No more murder investigations," Washo said with a smile.

  As if that was necessary! I mean, what are the chances, right?

  Raising my hand in a solemn promise, I said, "I certainly don't plan on it, but if anyone happens to die in my presence, I promise you will be the first person I call."

  We all laughed at the ridiculousness of it. Seriously, what are the odds?

  Chapter 1

  I woke with a start, flinging the covers off and walking into a wall of taffeta before my brain caught up with my feet. Untangling myself and dashing out of my room, I bumped into Adi — the talented fashion designer responsible for the portable closet loaded with bridesmaids’ dresses in the guest room I stayed in for the remaining two weeks of my vacation in Ecuador. She looked just as disoriented as I felt.

  Squinting my eyes and moving out into the living room where the horrible noise only got louder, I looked at the microwave clock.

  "For real? It's three in the morning! Who does this at three in the morning?" I groaned. Have I mentioned how much I don’t do mornings?

  It was like a karaoke bar had opened outside our window. The out-of-tune guitar and rhythm-less drums played at odds with each other while a man attempted to sing a ballad. I only knew one guy delusional enough to think singing 80’s music at this horrid hour of the morning would be charming. The same guy who thought an undershirt and gold chain made him irresistible; who used enough breath spray to get an alcoholic drunk, and drove a Trans Am with Rocky’s theme song blasting from the over-sized speakers in his trunk. Christian Ramón. He sounded like a rooster with a cold.

  Adi grabbed my arm before I could open the curtain to tell him to go away. "Don't let him see you," she whispered as if he might be able to hear us.

  "Why not?" I was not a violent person, but I was tempted to throw something at Christian and his tone-deaf posse. Anything to get them to stop making so much noise and let us go back to sleep.

  "You are being serenaded. If we open the curtain and show ourselves, it will only encourage them and they’ll never go away."

  "Serenaded? At three in the morning? That’s romantic here?" I already thought Ecuador was a backward country, but this really took the cake. Any man who wanted to impress me knew better than to wake me before my alarm went off.

  I suppose I ought to have been a little flattered. I wasn’t the sort of girl a man would make a fool of himself over. Not when my older sister looked like Charlize Theron and my younger sister actually worked at a New York modeling agency. I was the runt of the family at five foot five with ten extra pounds clinging to my hips. But it was three in the morning! It was one thing to stay up this late to finish a good book. But to be woken up? That was unforgivable.

  Adi and I sat against the wall under the window.

  She said, “Not a bad song choice. Foreigner.”

  The song eventually came to an end only to begin again, much to my disappointment. “How long does this normally last?”

  Adi shrugged. “Christian is persistent. It could take a while.”

  Crouching on my hands and knees, I crawled down the length of the window, trying to find a gap between the curtain and the wall.

  Adi hissed, "What are you doing? He will see you."

  Lady, the dog I’d adopted (unless someone claimed her … which I hated to think about), began howling from her spot on the mat outside the front door, starting a canine concert which only added to the ruckus.

  “I’ll be careful. I just want to see,” I answered. Enough of my grumpy had worn off to be a little curious.

  Christian clutched his heart with one hand, the other raised to the heavens while he attempted to hit the high note.

  I briefly considered tossing a bucket of water over him, but just as quickly discounted the idea. Christian would flatter himself that he was in a wet t-shirt contest. All of my previous attempts to show him how disinterested I was had failed miserably, leaving me with little hope this would end any better. “Too bad Abuelita isn’t here,” I grumbled.

  Adi giggled. “She would toss a bucket of water on him.”

  “My thought exactly!”

  She looked at me with an expression of deep concern. “Now, that’s worrisome. Since when did you begin thinking like Abuelita?”

  She had a point. While I admired Abuelita’s bravado, her methods were oftentimes … questionable.

  His song came to an end and I held my breath. Maybe he would go away.

  My hopes were dashed when he started into a Bryan Adams hit. This was ridiculous. I had to do something.

  "I'm going to tell him to go home." I reached up for the window lock.

  "Okay, I’ll make your wedding dress."

  As I turned to glare at Adi, I saw something move from the corner of my eye. Dropping my hand from the window, I stared in grateful disbelief as our neighbor stood out on his balcony, his robe waving behind him like a superhero cape. The sheen of moonlight reflected on his balding head.

  In one swift motion, Hugo Santorini dumped a bucket of water on Christian. Great minds. "Take your music elsewhere, Romeo. Nobody is interested in you around here."

  Christian, who now sputtered water out of his mouth, raised his hand to protest, but Hugo was too quick for him.

  "Go away before I turn the hose on you. I need my beauty sleep."

  Leave it to the Spanish teacher from New Jersey!

  Just in case I might be watching, which I was, Christian blew a kiss in the direction of Adi's apartment, swept an elegant bow, and turned away with his head held high. I had to hand it to him. He was one tenacious guy. Not that his tenacity would get him anywhere with me, but his confidence in the face of adversity was admirable.

  "Thank goodness for Hugo. I'll have to thank him later today at my Spanish class."

  Adi plopped down on the sofa. "Well, that's one way to begin the day. I'm so wide-awake now, I can’t go back to sleep. I think I'll stay up and watch Bleak House until Jake picks us up for our hike. Care to join me?"

  It was tempting. I was a sucker for period dramas and had read the book twice.

  Before I could answer, Adi broke into laughter. "Why didn't I see it before? Christian is your Mr. Guppy! You’re his angel."

  "Don't you dare spoil one of my favorite series with that comparison. Unless you don't mind putting up with a grumpy me all day, I’d better
go back to sleep."

  "I'll keep the volume down then. Sweet dreams."

  Full of gratitude and worry that I was doomed to dream about Mr. Guppy, I slogged back to my bed where the covers received me with a welcoming embrace.

  Four and a half hours later, my alarm beeped by my head and I wished I would have just stayed awake. How was it possible to wake up more tired than when I had gone to sleep? I blamed Mr. Guppy … I mean, Christian.

  Stumbling into the bathroom, I splashed cold water on my face before facing Adi.

  She handed me a cup of coffee before even speaking a word, thus reaffirming her role as the best roommate ever. I would miss her when it was time for me to return to Portland, Oregon.

  "You are too nice to me. Thank you." I blew on the steam and sipped on my cup. "Mmm. This is delicious."

  "Today is your first official vacation day. That’s worth celebrating with good coffee.”

  I raised my mug in agreement. My family, having decided I needed a break from my mundane life I was perfectly content with, had packed me off to Ecuador for a grand adventure. Little had they known I’d end up neck-deep in a double homicide investigation my first day here. Now that the worst week of my life was over and I had recovered from the million bug bites and blistering sunburn I had acquired while traipsing around in sugar cane fields in search of a murder weapon (It’s a long story…), Adi and her gorgeous twin brother, Jake, were taking me on a week-long jungle trip. The adventure began today.

  Well, actually, it began tomorrow. Today was a test. As an adventure tour guide, Jake wanted to see if I was up to the more thrilling, adrenaline-inducing activities he had planned. I’d survived Splash Mountain at Disneyland without puking, so I wasn’t entirely hopeless.

  Adi topped off my mug. "Are you excited to leave tomorrow?"

  "More than you can know. I’ve never really been a tourist before. I'm tempted to give Washo a call just to see how he'd react." Agent Washington Vasquez had been the detective assigned to the murder investigations. He had befriended all of us, but he would have a fit if he thought I stumbled upon another dead body. As would I.