"I'm not," he whispers. "We broke up a few months ago, but she begged me not to tell anyone because she was convinced it would jeopardize her Prom Queen chances. You know how her mom was about winning Prom Queen. Like it would set her up for life or something. She was scared to disappoint her."
He continues before I even have a chance to replay it in my head. "I wasn't the reason she was upset that night. I don't care what else you believe, just please believe that." He whispers, his voice laced with desperation and acceptance.
"Why should I believe you? Why do you even care what I believe?"
I'm all out of smart witty comebacks and remarks. He seems sincere, and a part of me, I can't understand why, wants to desperately believe him but what is stopping him from just saying that? It's not like Hope can waltz in here and back up his story.
"Hails! Hailee! Are you up here?" I hear Issy calling from the hallway, interrupting my jumbled thoughts.
"Issy! I'm in here!" I scream and jump up to pound on the locked door. "It's jammed! I can't open it!"
"I'll get someone!" she yells back through the door.
Thank you, Universe, you couldn't have come at a better time. Well, actually, you could have come half an hour ago, but I'll take what I can get.
Nick's voice reminds me he is still there. "Hailee?" He comes to stand facing me against the door, eyes searching my face for any kind of idea on what is going on in my head. "You know me. You know I'm not lying"
Defeated and exhausted, all fight gone, I sigh avoiding his intense stare.
"No, Nick. I used to know you but that was a long time ago."
"Hailee! We have the key!" Issy yells from outside the room.
Two seconds later the door is swinging open and I see Issy and Tyler standing there, eyes darting between Nick and me.
"Apparently this door jams all the time," Tyler explains.
"Thanks." I manage to squeak out and run past them both towards the stairs.
I go immediately to the dancefloor and snatch my bag up without stopping and push through the crowd to get outside.
Nick appears from nowhere and steps in front of me to block my exit again.
"Nick seriously, you said what you wanted to say now just leave me alone." I push past him and run to my car.
"There you are!" Issy cries out already standing next to my car. "Are you all right? What happened?"
"I just need to get out of here."
"Okay, I will drive," she states firmly.
"I'm fine-" I protest.
"No, you're not Hails. I’ve had nothing to drink so I will drive." She demands extending out her hand for my keys, not taking no for an answer.
I give up and open the passenger door as she climbs into the driver's side.
Chapter 8
An hour later and tucked up in bed, I can’t stop replaying the night in my head.
My thoughts are disrupted by Dad knocking briefly before walking in.
"You will get wrinkles thinking that hard," he jokes as he flops down on my bed.
"Ha. Ha."
"Talk to me, kiddo," he presses.
"It's just…" I start struggling to put my thoughts into words.
Dad and I have an open relationship, I've always felt like I could go to him and talk about anything. Except of course sex stuff, there's a line, and that's it for me. No father needs to hear that about their daughter.
"Do you think everything happens for a reason like it's all part of some big grand plan and it doesn't matter what we do, if it's meant to happen it will?"
I feel him tense up slightly and I lean back watching him deep in thought.
"Yes, kiddo, I do. Within reason. I think we are destined to meet some people, and some of those people aren't meant to stay with us forever. It's not to say if you want something you shouldn't fight and work hard for it. Is this about the accident?"
"Yeah, partly. I still can't help thinking there should have been something I could have done to stop it happening.”
“Hailee, you listen here, this was not your fault in any way. You need to let yourself off the hook for this, you did nothing wrong by surviving. Look, I didn’t want you to ever have to find this out, but there’s something I never told you about the accident.”
He pauses looking unsure of himself.
“What is it, Dad?”
“Kiddo, Hope had been drinking that night. They found alcohol in her system.”
“No.” I shake my head in disbelief. She wouldn’t do that. She wasn’t that stupid.
“But in saying that it was still an accident, plain and simple. Yes, she did the wrong thing but it was still an accident, and I will forever be grateful that you weren’t taken away from me that night also.”
I notice the quiver in his voice as he pauses to compose himself.
“Hope was one of the ones that were not meant to stay with us forever. She came and made her mark on this world and it was her time, just like it was your mother's. I know it's not fair but neither Hope nor your Mom would want you to be living your life any less because of this.” He reaches over squeezing my shoulder.
"I know what you're saying makes sense, but it can't be that simple, can it?"
"Yes and no, Kiddo. Life can be cruel and harsh. Trust me, I felt it all after your mom passed, but your Nonna gave me some wise words after the funeral and she'd want me to pass them on to you. Anger and resentment will only poison you. Let it go and you will free your heart and allow your soul to heal."
"Wow." I whisper, clearing the lump in my throat.
"So, that's where you get it from.” Flashing him a small smile.
"She was a wise one, your Nonna.” he muses.
Poor Dad, he lost my mom and his mom within twelve months of each other. Suffice to say it was a rough year for him, but he never let it show, always holding himself and me together.
I look up at the gentle yet strong face of my father and can't resist leaning over to give him a hug. I'd be lost without him in my life. I know whatever happens, he will always be there for me.
We both remain silent for a few more moments. I'm not sure what he's thinking about but my mind is filled with thoughts of Mom, Nonna and that time we went to Disneyland and made Nonna ride Splash Mountain.
"Dad?" I whisper while still wrapped in his arms like a little kid
"Yeah, kiddo?”
“How do you know you can trust someone?" I hesitate. "Like if you've thought one thing, but then they tell you something different, how do you know which is right?"
"Is this about Nick?" Dad raises an all-knowing eyebrow.
"What! How?" I stutter, utterly bewildered and also a little impressed by his perception.
"You're not as much of a closed book as you think you are, Kiddo," he smiles. "But to answer your question, I think you need to trust yourself to know the truth when you hear it. Life doesn't always work that way, but mostly you need to trust your instincts."
"So, I should believe him then?"
"Only you can make that decision. But Kiddo I'm proud of you for even considering you might have been wrong about a situation. That takes enormous courage. I know you don’t want to believe it right now but Nick isn’t the enemy. He was the one to call the accident in. He pulled you out of the car and stayed with you until the paramedics arrived. And then he held Hope’s hand until they pried it from him, even though she was already gone.”
“What? How come I didn’t know any of this before?” I say angrily. Angry because how could he keep such vital information from me.
“I’m sorry, Kiddo. I tried, I really did, but everytime I mentioned the accident you would just shut down. Eventually, I decided I wouldn’t say anything until I thought you might be more ready. I’m sorry, if I could take it back I would.”
“It’s okay, Dad.” I pat his hand. “You were only doing what you thought was best. But if it’s okay I think I just need to go to bed, it’s been a long night.”
“Of course Kiddo. I’m always he
re, please don’t forget that.”
“Love you, Dad.”
I watch as he closes my door and leaves me alone in the dark with only my thoughts to torment me. Thoughts of Hope and thoughts of Nick.
Hope was off that night, but drinking and driving? But also, how can I argue with medical results? What made her feel the need to drive? What or who made her so upset that she had to get away?
I’m not sure I can handle anymore information right now. Maybe I didn’t know Hope as well as I thought I did?
And Nick. I don't want to believe him.
I don't want to believe that I've been that stubborn and wrong. That I could have avoided all this hate by just listening to him in the first place. But how do I even know he's telling the truth? He could say anything, and I'd have no way to prove it.
This is what’s causing me so much trouble reconciling with what Nick said and what I've strongly believed for the past few months. My gut and the look he gave me tell me he's telling the truth, but something else is holding me back. Like maybe I’m still missing a piece of the puzzle.
I have directed all my grief into hating him, believing that he was the reason Hope was upset and missed the corner which caused the car to swerve and roll on the wet road. That he was the reason she died.
But Nick isn’t the one to blame. As much as I hate to admit it, Hope is. So, what am I supposed to do now? And how am I supposed to feel about it?
Chapter 9
Almost four weeks have passed since school started, and if the next eight months pass as quickly as this one, then I'll be sweet.
I guess it could be attributed to the fact that I have barely stopped between schoolwork, my Yale application and Halloween dance prep. I honestly haven't had time for anything else. Special thanks to Dad for pushing me to sit my SATs in January, otherwise I'd also be adding that into the mix.
I've replayed the night of Tank's party in my head over a million times and each time it makes my head spin even more.
“Hailee!” Issy’s voice brings me back to the present and inside the car.
“Uh, sorry Is, what were you saying?”
"I was saying I still don't know what to go as to the dance,” she groans as we drive to the Mall.
That’s right we were talking about our Halloween costumes before I spaced out. I have already decided to go as Cleopatra. I wanted something different from the standard princesses, movie stars and army, etc. I bought a dress and headpiece this week online and combined with my long hair I should look the part.
As per Issy's request, the first place we head to at the Mall is the costume shop for inspiration. It's a large shop that's jam-packed with so much stuff, it's overwhelming to even know where to start.
Slowly, we make our way through the circular racks in the middle where the new costumes are located and I randomly pull out options for her that she ruthlessly keeps shutting down.
"Pirate?"
"No."
"Fairy? Vampire?”
"No. No.”
"Hot Dog?"
She gives me a questionable look and I shrug.
"Hey, I was just making sure you weren't automatically saying no.”
We flick through a few more before making our epic discovery.
"Issy!" I say holding up a black and pink corset lace costume with a flared skirt. “What about this one? It's like a sexy day of the dead. You could wear long black gloves and we could make a black veil?"
“Ohh! Yes! I can totally picture it!" she squeals, jumping up and down. "And it's the only one here so I doubt anyone else will have it"
After finding some black elbow-length gloves and a short white veil to spray paint, we venture to the candy shop for tonight's movie at my house.
"So, do you think Tyler will ask you to the dance?" I quiz her.
They've been talking on the phone and texting a lot lately, but he hasn't even asked her on a proper date yet.
"I hope so! If not, he will regret it when he sees me in this!" She giggles wickedly.
He's a loser if he doesn't. Issy is a total ten.
"Did you know he plays the guitar?" She muses retreating to her now very common Tyler daydream, "And sings." She continues without waiting on a reply.
"You're totally hooked." I tease before slapping a hand on her forehead to snap her out of it once again. "So… Chocolate or Peanut?" I redirect the conversation to more important topics .
“Both! I like to mix them up." Issy grins back. "Popcorn too?"
"Duh!"
"Are we missing anything?" She riffles through the basket, inspecting our haul.
"How could we? The basket is full." I laugh, feeling good to be worried about such trivial stuff like Halloween costumes and candy. We are still laughing at the mass amount of junk food we have for tonight's movie marathon as we line up at the counter to pay.
"Sorry! Oh hello, girls.” Ms. Evans turns around from the counter and nearly runs into us. "Looks like you are all set for a sugar feast." She motions to our full basket.
It's usually super awkward seeing teachers outside of school, but Ms. Evans is cool. For a principal that is. Plus, she isn't condescending like some other teachers can be.
"Yeah, having a movie night." Issy responds looking extremely uncomfortable while looking over her shoulder.
"Lovely! Well, have fun then. Will you be home tonight, Issy?”
Excuse me? What!
Issy groans quietly before answering.
"No, I'm going to stay at Hailee's tonight, her dad is working so I said I'd keep her company."
"All right, I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye, Hailee."
"Umm, bye, Ms. Evans." I offer a little wave, my eyes darting between Ms. Evans' retreating figure and then back to Issy who looks embarrassed, to put it mildly.
"So, I think maybe I forgot to mention Ms. Evans is my aunt… that I live with..." she trails off.
"Really, you think?" I say as I shove her playfully.
"I'm sorry!" she pleads after we've paid for our haul. "I just didn't want to be known as the girl who is related to the principal, you know?"
"It's fine Issy! Honestly, I don't care, you could have told me. Besides, Ms. Evans is cool. And your secret is safe with me"
I place a hand over my heart as you would in elementary school. "Cross my heart."
We don't even make it home before we replace our quiet movie night with new plans. Tyler is playing at a local café tonight, and Issy has practically promised me her first born if we go.
That's how two hours later we are at Jumpin' Beans café, sitting at a corner table, trying not to look ’stalkerish’ as Issy puts it.
"Oh my God, there he is!" Issy whisper squeals while also clutching my arm.
"Ouch!" I screech back, prying her nails from my now indented arm. "Chill out girl you're bordering on fangirl here."
He plays a thirty-minute set and near silence envelops the café while he plays. He emits this powerful, confident and chilled vibe. Sort of a cross between modern country and soft pop, if that's even a thing. He is also really good. Not that I had any expectations. I didn't even know he was a musician until today.
During the set though, he has noticed Issy because as soon as he thanks everyone and puts his guitar down, he beelines straight for her. It's clear he's as into her as she is him.
"Nice work, Tyler." I offer after giving them a moment.
"Thanks, Hailee." he grins shyly. Seems his confidence is reserved for when he’s playing. Or maybe it's Issy doing that to him.
"What are you guys doing now?" Tyler asks, but it's clear the question is mainly for Issy.
"Umm." Issy looks at me for back up.
"No plans." I chime in, saving her. "I was thinking of heading home. Could you maybe give Issy a lift?"
I tilt my head to Tyler, ignoring the shock and scared look on Issy's face. I'm no cupid, but it's clear these two could do with a little push.
"Yeah, no problem!" Tyler enthusiastically agrees which make
s Issy blush even more.
Without giving Issy a chance to back out, I give her a thumbs up behind Tyler's back and retreat from the café. One of us might as well get a happy ending.
Not in the mood to go straight home, I wander over to the main boardwalk just a block away. Being Saturday night, the boardwalk is still alive with people from the restaurants that extend out in the walkway, to the gelato shoppe bursting with families, to the arcade at the end that never seems to be not busy.
Deciding it will be worth it to fight the families, I duck into the gelato shoppe and take my place in line. Any normal summer, I would have been here several times a week, but not this one.
My last memory of being here was the week before the accident. The four of us, Hope, Nick, Mason and I. We had just seen a movie and as per our ritual we got gelato and walked to the end of the pier to eat it. Replaying the movie again and usually arguing about how it ended versus how we thought it should have ended.
Lost in my memory, I don't even notice when I reach the front of the line and Nick is staring at me across the freezer cabinet.
"Hailee?" Nick frowns at me.
"Uh, gelato." I answer a question he never asked, dumbly motioning to the gelato. It’s not as smooth as I imagined because I clip the kid next to me over the head.
"Sorry!" I wince, feeling my face heating up. All I get in return in a glare from the kid’s mother.
"Nevermind." I mumble before pushing my way out the door. Gelato is not worth the trouble after all.
How embarrassing. I don't even know what that was. It was like I was suddenly nervous or something. No, that can't be it. I was just surprised by it all. And also, when did Nick start working at Giuseppe's Gelato? Not that I even care. Nope. I don't care. I will wipe the last ten minutes from my memory.
As if on autopilot, I walk to the end of the pier and sit down in our usual spot. Some nights it's swarming with fishermen trying their luck for a big one, but not tonight. 'The tide has to be right.' I remember Mason telling me once. At the time, it surprised me that he would even know that. He's not exactly the fisherman looking type, but once again first impressions eluded me. Apparently, his uncle is a keen fisherman and used to take him every weekend as a kid.
Just a Little Complicated: A Highschool Sports Romance (SANCTUARY COVE Book 1) Page 4