Just a Little Complicated: A Highschool Sports Romance (SANCTUARY COVE Book 1)

by REESE COLLINS

  "Come on Mason." I whisper to myself. "Pick up."

  Finally, he answers with a breathless ‘hello’.

  "My jeep won't start I think it's the battery but there's a storm and you know how much I hate them and I don't think I can wait here in my car for a tow truck and I've already had the worst day ever, like ever and I really just want to go home." I say in one breath, borderline hysterical.

  "Whoa!" Mason laughs gently. "Calm down, it's going to be fine, where are you?"

  "Still at school.” I sob. finally taking a breath.

  "Okay I see you. I'll drive over to you and you jump in okay?" he commands in his always comforting voice.

  I nod before realizing he can't see me. "Okay." I say with a croaky voice.

  Mason, as promised, reverses his truck up beside my driver’s side so I can jump straight into the passenger side and minimize exposure to the storm. Such a Mason move. Damn lucky the girl who marries him someday.

  "Thanks." I say as I slam the door shut and throw my bag at my feet.

  "Anytime Hails, you know that."

  Mason and I are good now. We had a good chat a while back now and completely cleared the air. Both forgiving each other for the way we handled the Nick situation. Not that it matters now but I'm just glad I didn't lose Mason over it. After a few minutes Mason breaks the silence inside the car.

  "Hails, what are you doing?"

  "Huh?" I tear my eyes away from the window and look over at him. “What do you mean?"

  Exasperated he sighs "I mean you and Nick. You're both miserable. Just talk to each other. Look I know it took me a while, but I know you and I aren't meant to be. You never looked at me that way you look at him, even when you're sad or angry it's still completely obvious like a Times Square billboard at night. You light each other up, in spite of everything you've both been through. To put it in your terms, you guys are Ron and Hermione. You can try to fight and resist, but you are endgame."

  I look over at him and his genuinely concerned expression. He's too good to be real. But he's wrong. Nick and I are not endgame. I shake my head at him.

  "Thanks, Mase. I appreciate that but no, it's not going to happen. I know about Lucy. He's in love with her."

  I turn back to the window to hide my tears falling again. I can't seem to control them these days, it's like the floodgates are permanently open.

  Mason gasps. "What? Who told you that?”

  "Hope told me the night of the accident that he was in love with someone else and then Natalie just confirmed it."

  "Natalie said it was Lucy?" he queries unsure.

  "Well not by name but they hooked up last winter and that's when he confessed it to Natalie. Which by the way you tried to tell me, and I didn't listen. I'm sorry about that."

  "Don't worry about that." He waves off before turning back to squint out the windshield either lost in thought or trying to concentrate on the barely visible road.

  Logically speaking unless there were others that winter there's no one else it could be. Like the stupid hopeless romantic in me I had hoped maybe it was me, but I extinguished that theory before my heart could run wild with it. We weren't even together at the time. I was with Mason still.

  Nope, that kind of love story only lives inside the pages of well executed romance novels and my life is certainly no fairy tale wrapped up with a blissful happily ever after. Mason pulls up outside my house, the storm still ranging above us.

  "You going to be okay?"

  "Yeah, thanks again." I offer him a small smile.

  He squeezes my hand in a purely platonic friends' way. "I'm always here for you Hails, no matter what."

  I squeeze his hand back before taking the plunge and jumping out of his truck. I run across the lawn towards my house but suddenly skid to a halt when I notice Nick rising from a sitting position on my front porch steps. He is drenched with his shirt clinging to his chest like there's no tomorrow. Not complaining, but I have noticed he does love a good white tee. Where did he even come from? I turn around but his truck isn't here.

  "You know?" His deep growl making me spin back around to him now only a few feet away. "Nat told you everything?”

  Whoa. "Y-Yes."

  "Dammit!" he shouts and puts his hands behind his head agitated. "Hails, I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I swore to Hope-"

  "It's fine," I say cutting him off with a wave.

  I finally make my legs move and step past him, there is a storm going on after all.

  "Wait?" He looks blatantly shocked."You're not pissed that I didn't tell you?"

  I had been at first, because my first thought was, 'Great more secrets from this guy. He's worse than Eminem with his skeletons but then how could I be angry at him for keeping my best friends biggest secret, even after her death. How could I be angry at him for being such a comfort and amazing support for her. It's easy. I couldn't.

  "No." I reply with certainty and turn back to the house. "But there's one thing I don't understand." I continue my voice wavering slightly.

  I need to ask even if knowing it’s going to shatter my heart into another million pieces. I stay facing the house and gather the courage to just say it in one breath.

  "Why even start something with me? I mean when you're in love with Lucy. Why push this, when it meant nothing to you?"

  Nick suddenly grabs my right arm and spins me around so quickly it gives me whiplash.

  "What? Lee I'm not-"

  "Save it, Nick," I demand putting my hand up in a stop gesture. "Did you forget I know about-"

  I'm stopped mid sentence by Nick's mouth crashing onto mine. My stupid traitorous lips melt into his instantly before my brain has time to catch up. Stupid brain. Or stupid lovesick heart? I don't know I'm so confused right now! I push his chest away. Hard.

  "What the hell!"

  A smug grin spreads across his face before he shrugs.

  "I needed you to stop talking."

  "Screw you!" I scream.

  Who does he think he is?

  "You know for someone so smart, you can be pretty dense sometimes." he chuckles.

  What. The. Fuck.

  "Ex-cuuuse me!" I roar.

  "Come on Hails, how is it still not totally obvious?"

  I'm about the slap that stupid grin of his face if he doesn't get to the point. And fast.

  "Okay, I will break it down in simple terms."

  He talks slowly still with the stupid cheesy grin on his face. Holding up each finger to signal.

  "1 - I don't love Lucy. 2 - That was one drunken kiss and that is all it will ever be." "But-" he cuts off my protest with two fingers, pressed against my lips.

  "3," he steps close enough for me to smell the spearmint on his breath and I suck in a bated breath waiting for him to continue.

  "Hailee Brooke Munroe. I. Love. You. I have from that summer at the lake. There never was and never will be anyone else. You are it for me."

  I'm vaguely aware that I am staring. Eyes are wide as saucers. Jaw is dropped to the ground. Standing on my front lawn in the middle of a wild storm. But I don't care. I need a second. I need to process.

  H-He loves me?

  Nick? Nick loves me?

  NICK LOVES ME!

  That's good enough for me. I still have a million questions, but they can wait. I'm sick of being careful. I'm sick of running scared. I leap at him and he catches me effortlessly before I kiss him with so much emotion I feel like I might explode.

  My legs wrap around his waist and he moves quickly up the porch steps before firmly pressing my back against the front door. My body reacts and my arms snake tightly around his neck while he grips me firm and protectively on my back and hips. Our lips move in sync with each other and I can feel that he is feeling everything I am. He pulls away too soon and I groan in protest, before peppering kissing down his neck to his collarbone.

  He chuckles, "Hails, what is it with you and jumping me in the rain."

  "Are you complaining?" I pout at him
playfully.

  "Fuck. No! But maybe we should take it inside before your neighbors accuse us of making a porno on your front porch?"

  Screw the neighbors.

  I spring awake, bolting up right before my eyes dart open.

  "It's all right, babe." Nick wraps his arms around my trembling body.

  I let him pull me back down on the bed and curl up into his chest, closing my eyes again. Just a dream. It was just a dream.

  “Wait!” I roll over and in the process smack Nick in the face. Everything from yesterday coming back to me like a movie.

  “Ahh!”

  “I need to know everything!” I say suddenly needing all the answers.

  “Ask away, Lee, I’ll tell you anything and everything you want to know.”

  “Why do it? Why pretend to be dating Hope? Why do that for someone you have only just met?”

  He sighs sitting up against the bed head. “Truth is Hope and I didn’t just meet when I moved here. We actually grew up together, our Dad’s served together. They would summer with us every year at the lake house up until her Dad passed.”

  Whoa.

  “But why would you agree to it?”

  “It seems stupid now.” He looks away embarrassed. “But at my old school I was not what you’d call popular. Yes, I was on the football team but was second string and no one even gave me a second look. When I came here things were so different. Suddenly, I was Co-Captain, Quarterback and one half of the schools hottest couple apparently. It’s pathetic I know, but at first the popularity and my ego escaped me. I loved the attention. People I didn’t even know were high-fiving me in the halls and my game was on fire.”

  I remember back to the awkward boy I first met that summer. The boy who stole my heart with his lame jokes, goofy smile and truly terrible dance moves. The shy boy who took a whole month to hold my hand.

  “It was all for popularity?”

  “No, not completely. At the time, the rumors were going around about Natalie and I agreed to help her out. Then it just escalated to until Christmas and then Prom. We technically ‘broke up’ at the party the night of the accident. I told her about you.”

  “What about me?”

  He laughs wrapping his arms around me pulling me close.

  “That I was in love with you.”

  “She knew?” I gasp, shocked.

  “Yep and the last thing she said to me was, ‘Go get your girl, Marshall!’”

  “That’s what you were going to tell me at the party before I ran off and got in the car?”

  “Yeah, well I was going to try.”

  I can’t contain my smile and close the distance between us and snuggle back into his chest. I trace my fingers over his tattoo while he twirls his fingers through my hair. I trace the little roses, following the perfectly crafted lines right up to the large centrepiece rose. Carefully and slowly my index finger outlines each of the finely printed roman numerals inside a petal.

  "Are you ever going to tell me what they mean?"

  "It's a date. May 28."

  "The day Hope died." I muse meeting his eyes and I've never felt more at ease.

  "That's beautiful."

  "No. I mean yes but no." He places his hand over mine flattening it, so it sits directly over his heart. I can feel it pounding rapidly.

  "It's the day you lived."

  Epilogue

  I step out of my Jeep and feel the squish of freshly watered grass under my shoes. It's a beautiful Spring day. Vibrant baby blue sky with only a scattering of white fluffs breaking up the solidness.

  Grasping the single white rose in my hand I make my way along the well-worn path until I get to my destination in the newer area. Without a single care for the wet grass I sit down cross-legged and gently place the rose on the grass in front of me.

  "Hey Hope," I whisper, fidgeting with my fingers unsure what to do with my hands.

  This is the first time I've been to visit her. I don't believe in the whole thing ‘she is only where she is buried’. I believe she is everywhere.

  Today, however, is different and I felt it was time. Unsure where to begin I start with the easier topic.

  "We went to Nationals. Even placed in the top twenty but didn't place on the final day. But still good right? And we kicked West Chester's butt, they didn't even make the top twenty. I feel a bit sorry for them, three quarters of their squad are freshmen. I know I shouldn't feel sorry for them since they give us crap all the time but as you always say, 'I'm too nice for my own good sometimes'.”

  I laugh, imagining her chastising me.

  “I also got into Yale. You'd be proud of me, I smashed out those AP classes first semester and ended up with a 4.8 GPA. Don't worry I didn't go all nerd and hermit-like, to do it, though.”

  “Last night was Prom and the theme was memories. It was at the Carlton by the beach. There was a giant red carpet up the front steps and then as soon as you entered you walked through a small maze of all these blown up pictures of the Senior class. We had pictures from the Halloween dance, all the games, a few field party ones, beach days, our Senior trip to Orlando. You would have loved it, especially the bit at the end. We had a board dedicated just for you. Right in the centre was your Junior Prom photo, the crown sitting perfectly on your head.”

  “I wore your Manolos. I nearly didn't but your mom rang me the morning of to check in and ask if I was wearing them. We've been talking a lot lately actually. She's doing well, just taking each day. She didn't openly say it, but I think she might be seeing someone! Can you believe it?"

  I pause thinking how to say what I need to say next. It's probably silly to censor or phrase a conversation to a tombstone but right now, this isn't a tombstone. This is Hope, my best friend in front of me.

  "Hope, I know about Natalie. She told me everything. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you. I wish you had told me."

  Tears are silently streaming down my face, but I don't even attempt to wipe them away.

  "But I understand why you were scared. I just wish you knew that you didn't have a reason to be. You are my best friend, Hope, nothing could make me look or think of you differently. You are the kindest, funniest person ever and I miss you every day.

  This is silly, but some days I still imagine you walking beside me along the halls at school, with that skip in your step and way too cheerful grin. I'd imagine you whining about the Bio homework you 'forgot' to do, or yelling at the basketball boys for throwing their ball in the hall, or giving me crap for wearing my ankle boots again.”

  “Nick misses you too. We talk about you a lot. He's been amazing, and I'm so glad he was there for you and you trusted him. He's off to UCLA at the end of July. I don't know what is going to happen with us being on separate sides of the country, but we are willing to give it a go and try our best to make it work. I really love him, Hope. I'm sorry I never told you about him and the summer we had before Junior year. I was scared and didn't trust what I was feeling. I'm not scared now though and I'm not going to run from things that scare me anymore. I'm going to keep imagining you beside me and fight my way through whatever comes my way."

  My phone buzzes with a message from Nick and I touch the headstone softly.

  "That was Nick. I should probably go, we have graduation practice before the real thing tomorrow. I'll come and visit again I promise. I love you, Hope and will never forget what you mean to me. I was meant to move to Sanctuary Cove, and I was meant to meet you. It was fate. You changed my life, Hope and I just wish you were here for me to tell you in person.”

  I trail my fingers over the engraving on her tombstone before standing up and brushing the grass off.

  This past year has made me realize so many things. Everyone is scared, and everyone is going through something that is life changing to them. Some people believe our life is made up of a million individual moments that can ultimately change our journey. That every second counts and in each of those seconds we make a choice. Some so tiny and insignificant th
ey don't even register, others so major and full of impact they can change your very future. I, however, don't fully agree with that. Yes, we make choices that can severely impact our lives, but sometimes those choices are outside our control. Sometimes we can choose a path, but life keeps steering us back onto another path. The future chooses us. Things happen beyond what we could ever imagine or comprehend.

  Sometimes our future is decided. Fated even.