Pixie Piper and the Matter of the Batter

by Annabelle Fisher

  The grocery was at the edge of town, the last building on the last block to be exact, and it was small and old-fashioned. The front window was shuttered for the night, but it reminded me of the kind of place where you could buy drinks, candy, and ice cream in addition to milk, bread, and other staples.

  “How are we going to get in?” whispered Gray. “Is there a window in the back we can crawl through?”

  Pip smiled and tapped her head with a finger. “I’ve got the key up here.” She rubbed her hands together and began reciting:

  “Lock, please honor my request

  And grant what I ask for

  Kindly allow my friends and I

  To pass inside your door.”

  Pip nodded at the doorknob. “Go ahead; it’s open now,” she said to Gray.

  He reached out and turned it. “Cool,” he said.

  “Well, then, what are you waiting for?” asked Pip. She slipped inside before we had time to plan anything. I guess she’d spent so much time at Garrie’s she felt comfortable. Maybe too comfortable, I thought.

  “Here goes,” I whispered. Gray followed me, so close I could feel his breath on my neck.

  Inside the store it was as dark as if we’d been wrapped in a black, velvet blanket.

  “Welcome! We’ve been waiting for you,” a voice said. I jumped, even though I knew it belonged to Garrie. “One of you lazy girls turn the lights on for our guests,” she snapped.

  I heard footsteps and after a moment, the room was flooded with light. I looked around, squinting down narrow aisles of groceries. Just a few feet away stood Garrie. She was wearing Grandie’s cone hat. Precious Diamond, Precious Ruby, and Precious Emerald were near the cash register, grinning like evil jack-o’-lanterns.

  “Good work, Pip, you got her to come. I wasn’t expecting the boy, but he’s a bonus.” Garrie turned and eyed the Preciouses. “I like a girl who gets things done. You three should try to be more like Pip.”

  Precious Diamond, Precious Ruby, and Precious Emerald glared at Pip.

  “Pip didn’t bring us. Gray and I made our own decision to come,” I said.

  “Why of course she brought you. We’ve been planning this since the morning before you arrived at Chuckling Goose.”

  I turned and stared at Pip, but she was looking at the floor.

  “You knew about this, Pip?” I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “Because she trusts that I know best!” said Garrie. “I’ve been taking care of Pip since she was a little Goose Girl, even though the Goose Ladies threw me out. I babysat her every day after school until Doris came to get her. I befriended her, gave her candy, and even let her work for spending money. Now she’s helping me.” Garrie paused. “I mean, helping me help the Goose Ladies.”

  Precious Diamond smirked. “Friends help friends, right Pip?”

  “You’re not her friend,” I snapped. “You’ve pinched her black and blue.”

  “Shh. It’s okay, Pixie,” murmured Pip. “Garrie’s going to return the hat. She only borrowed it, so she could trade it back for a wishing cake.”

  “But that’s thievery!” I exclaimed. “She kidnapped the hat! And you helped her!”

  Pip shook her head violently. “You don’t understand! Garrie is going to give the wishing cake to Raveneece, to keep her and her Sinister Sisters from harming the Aunts.”

  “That’s right,” said Garrie. “And since you’re the most powerful Goose Girl, your wishing cake will be the most dependable, right?” Garrie sent me an ugly smile.

  “I can’t believe you betrayed us!” I said. “Does Wyatt know? Or did you deceive him, too?”

  “No,” Pip whispered, “he doesn’t know.”

  “Betrayal?” Garrie snorted. “You’ve got it all wrong. This cake is about helping. Why, it will help my friend Raveneece get back the rhyming power the Sinister Sisters and their descendants lost so unfairly. I’m even having a little going-away party for Raveneece and her nieces tonight. You Goose kids can help us celebrate.”

  “We didn’t come for a party. We came to trade this cake for Espy’s hat.” I set the cake box on the counter. “Here it is. Now give us the hat and we’ll go.”

  Garrie clucked her tongue. “I’m afraid you’ll have to stay awhile. Your Aunt Raveneece is eager to see you.” She crooked a finger at Pip. “Go down to the cellar and get her.”

  “Yeah, you go, Pip,” said Precious Diamond, laughing. “Hurry up or we’ll give you another nickel.”

  Without looking at any of us, Pip walked to the back of the store and disappeared.

  Gray and I exchanged a quick glance. Soon we heard the slow step-clink-step-clink of someone climbing stairs. A door creaked open. A bat flew into the room.

  “Ahhhhh!” shrieked Precious Emerald.

  Precious Diamond pinched her. “Quiet, it’s just a birdie,” she barked.

  “It’s Ruby’s fault! She was supposed to catch that bat.” Precious Emerald turned and pinched Precious Ruby.

  Ruby squealed and pinched her back.

  A woman in a black jumpsuit and a nest hat walked down an aisle toward them, clinking with every step. One of her hands was on Pip’s shoulder. The other was using a broom made from a twisted branch for a cane.

  It was Raveneece—sort of. She looked like a broken statue that had been glued back together by a monkey. Some pieces of her face were in the wrong place. Her mouth was crooked, though at least it was above her chin. But her nose was upside down, she had one eye above her eyebrow, and there was an eye patch where the other one should have been.

  She peered around the room until she saw me. “Come give your Auntie a hug, brat.” She reached out a hand and one of her fingers fell off. Pip scrambled to retrieve it.

  “We brought you a wishing cake,” I said, frozen in my spot. “We’re hoping you’ll be willing to trade it for Aunt Esperanza’s hat. She really needs it.”

  “We all need things, brat,” said Raveneece. “Garrie needs money to run the store, my greedy nieces need cake to eat, and you need to pay for what you’ve done to me. Do you think a single cake is enough?”

  “I only froze you so I could get away. I never meant to shatter you. I didn’t even know it could happen. I was trying to return your key and it accidentally hit your head. I’m really sorry.”

  “Well, that doesn’t matter now.” Raveneece waved and another finger fell off. She didn’t even seem to notice. “Is that a real wishing cake, brat?”

  “Y-e-e-es,” I mumbled. I’d never been a very good liar.

  Raveneece pointed her broom at Garrie. “She tried to fool me with a fake one. I paid her a lot of money for a dud. You wouldn’t do that, would you?”

  “N-n-n-n-no.”

  “Well, let’s try it and see. Open the box, brat.”

  “It’s a snickerdoodle,” I said as I lifted the lid. The cake was still warm, and its cinnamon scent began drifting around the room.

  “Oh, yummy!” exclaimed Precious Ruby. “Let’s eat!”

  “Not before we’ve lit the candles and I’ve made my wish.” Raveneece turned her one eye to me. “Bring it over here.”

  “First I want Aunt Esperanza’s hat back,” I said. “Please.”

  “Go ahead. Give it to her, Garrie,” said Raveneece. “You look stupid in it anyway.”

  “Oh no,” said Garrie. “I’ve decided to keep it. Maybe I’ll be the head of the Goose Ladies now.”

  “But you promised if I brought the wishing cake, you’d give back Aunt Espy’s hat,” cried Pip.

  “Well, I changed my mind!” snapped Garrie. “And you’d better be quiet or . . .”

  “I’m not giving anyone this cake unless I get the hat,” I said.

  “Give it to her, Garrie,” said Raveneece. “I want that cake!”

  “So do I,” snarled Garrie. “I’ve decided to keep the cake, too, you cracked old thing.”

  With the cake still in my arms, I began backing toward the door. “I’ll smash this cake and nei
ther of you will get it,” I threatened.

  “You’ll lose everything, Garrie,” said Raveneece. “My precious nieces and I will be permanent residents in your cellar. We like it down there. We’ll eat up everything you have and then some.”

  Garrie turned as purple as a bruise. She scowled and stamped a foot. Then she reached up and jerked the cone hat off her head.

  “All right, you old goose poop, you win!” Garrie slammed the cone hat on the counter. “But I want you and your useless nieces out of here tonight. And I never want to see you again!”

  “That’s not very hospitable of you, Garrie,” said Raveneece. “I paid you a lot of money for a cake that didn’t work. I’d say you got what you deserve.”

  “Hurry up and get moving, Pixie, Trixie, or whatever your name is,” said Garrie, glaring at me. “Put that cake down next to the hat.”

  I didn’t trust either of them, but I wasn’t sure what else to do. I wanted to get Mother Goose’s hat back to Grandie as quickly as I could. Carefully I put the cake on the counter and reached for the hat.

  “Not so fast!” shouted Raveneece, jabbing her broom at me. “First I’ve got to test the cake. I’m not getting cheated again.”

  “I’ve got candles in here,” said Garrie. She opened the cash register and grabbed a box from the compartment where dollar bills should have been. “How many do you need?” Her lips formed an ugly sneer. “I doubt there are enough in here.”

  Raveneece tried sneering back. Her bottom lip slipped sideways and fell off. “All I need is one,” she said.

  Garrie stuck a pink candle into the middle of the cake. “All right now. Are you ready to make your wish?”

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

  Ye Olde Cracked Wish

  “First light my candle! Everything has to be exactly right,” said Raveneece. “I’m not taking any chances with my wish. I’ve waited too long.”

  “All right, all right, give me a minute. Let me think where I put the matches.” Garrie tapped her nails against the register. “Ah! I know.” There was a wild grin on her face as she bent down to look beneath the counter.

  “Hurry up! I don’t have all night,” croaked Raveneece.

  “Found them,” said Garrie. But as she stood up, I caught a flash of silver. It was a big pair of scissors with sharp, shiny blades. “Do you know what this is?” Garrie was looking at me.

  “S-s-scissors.” My voice was barely a whisper.

  “Not just any scissors. It’s the Shear of Fear.”

  “Never heard of it,” said Raveneece, snorting. “Now quit your baloney and get me those matches.”

  But Garrie ignored her. She seemed more interested in me, now. “How about a haircut?” she said, opening and closing the evil-looking blades.

  “No—no thanks,” I said.

  “No?” Garrie put a finger to her lips. “Now let me think. What was I going to do with these?” She looked at the cone hat and cackled. “Oh yes! I was going to trim this. It’s much too tall.”

  “Don’t!” exclaimed Pip. “Please!”

  Garrie waved the shears at Pip. “Didn’t I tell you to shut up?” She opened the blades and turned back to the cone hat.

  “No!” I screamed. “N-o-o-o-o!!!”

  “How about here?” Garrie held the Shear of Fear over the tip of the hat. “Or further down?”

  “Cut that out, Garrie—a deal’s a deal!” Raveneece swung the Broom of Doom and struck her on the back.

  But Garrie grabbed the broom away from Raveneece. “Oh, you want me to cut this, too?” She clicked the blades and some bits of feather drifted to the floor.

  “You fool!” cried Raveneece. “That broom’s the only way to put the pieces back together. If the brat shatters any of us, we’re done for!” She tried to pull the broom away from Garrie. Even with all her clinking pieces, she was surprisingly strong. For a moment I thought she might win—but Garrie suddenly pushed it backward, catching Raveneece off guard. Raveneece lost her balance and crashed against the wall. More of her pieces fell off.

  “Aunt Ravi!” yelped Diamond. While she tried to stick Raveneece’s right ear back on her head, Emerald scooped up the left one and Ruby found a tooth.

  “Say good-bye to the old cone hat,” shouted Garrie triumphantly, aiming the Shear of Fear at it.

  Gray grabbed a plastic milk crate near the door and, using it like a shield, edged toward her. “Give it back, you cheater! Even with that hat, you could never be a Goose Lady!”

  Garrie swerved and waved the Shear of Fear at him.

  “Gray, be careful!” I yelled.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Raveneece remove her bird’s nest hat. Holding it like a Frisbee, she flicked her wrist and sent it zooming toward Garrie. The scissors flew right out of Garrie’s hand and clattered to the floor.

  “What are you waiting for, brat?” shouted Raveneece. “Stop her!”

  Those were the words I needed to hear. Instantly, my hair sprang out in all directions, my brain crackled like lightning, and when I opened my mouth, my words howled like wind:

  “Scissors fail and fighting cease

  Let this place return to peace

  And for the one who is to blame

  A punishment is now fair game

  For bringing us such pain and sorrows

  Freeze her now till three tomorrows!”

  Everyone had been staring at me. But now all eyes were on Garrie. She was motionless, as stiff as a statue in a town square. Her eyes were wide with horror and her mouth was a gaping hole. One hand was still up in the air. I gazed at the Shear of Fear lying on the floor. It looked like my mom’s sewing shears.

  “Well, who’s a fool now, Garrie?” jeered Raveneece. With a creak and a clink, she turned to me. “We make a good team, brat. If you join me and my precious nieces, we can be richer than you can imagine.”

  “No thanks.” Although I was still scared, I smiled a little. “But you . . . you saved Espy’s hat. Why?”

  “Garrie cheated me before and she was about to cheat me again!” snapped Raveneece. “That bitter old pill didn’t deserve the cone hat.”

  I scooped Raveneece’s nest hat from the floor, where it lay beside the scissors. “Here, can we trade?” I asked, holding it out.

  Raveneece focused her eye on me. She didn’t reply.

  “I, er, have something else for you, too.” I slipped her other eye out of my pocket and held it up.

  Raveneece cocked her head. “You said you were sorry for shattering me. No one in the family ever apologized to me before. Did you mean it?”

  “Yes,” I said, knowing it was true. “But I have to tell you something you’re not going to like.”

  “Pix!” Gray whispered. “What are you doing?”

  I ignored him. I had to. “Your wishing cake will only work for a little while. Then everything will go back to the way it was before.”

  “How long is a little while?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “Maybe just a few minutes.”

  “Useless,” Raveneece muttered.

  “No, it’s not, Auntie. We can still eat it!” exclaimed Ruby.

  When Raveneece sighed, she sounded like a rattling china cabinet. “Take this hat to Esperanza right now, brat,” she said, lifting it up from the counter. “Tell her Raveneece says hello and good-bye. My nieces and I are going back home. After we eat up this cake.”

  I approached her, wondering whether she and the three Preciouses were about to trick me. But I had to be braver than brave. When I got close enough, Raveneece set the hat on my head like a crown. It almost covered my eyes. “I’m sure you’ll grow into it,” she croaked.

  I held up her eye. “If you lean down, I’ll put it in place,” I offered.

  Raveneece took off her eye patch and bent her creaky self so I could press the eye in line with her other one. At the thought of touching her strange, cracked face, my goosebumps got goosebumps. Kindness is stronger than trouble, I reminded myself. Now I understood what it mea
nt. Gently but firmly, I pushed the eye into place.

  Wearing Mother Goose’s cone hat made me feel ten feet tall. It also made me feel like my neck was going to be permanently crooked. Like two palace guards, Gray and Pip pulled the door open for me.

  “Um, good-bye,” I said before we walked out into the night.

  “Good-bye, Trixie!” called Precious Ruby and Precious Emerald.

  “That’s Pixie,” Precious Diamond told them.

  “That’s right, Pixie Piper, Goose Lady Apprentice,” I said proudly.

  “Get going before I change my mind!” Raveneece barked. The clinking she made as she laughed echoed after us.

  CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

  Ye Olde Homecoming

  Out on the street we kept looking over our shoulders. A few times I actually jumped, thinking I felt Raveneece’s cold, not-quite-human fingers on my neck. The woods were only a block away, but it felt like a mile. I squeezed my little goose flashlight on so we could see. Gray was right beside me, but Pip kept her distance. Though I could hear her sniffling, I made myself ignore her. She’d led us into a trap. She deserved to cry.

  “Thanks, you were braver than brave,” I whispered to Gray.

  “Well, you were brave and true,” he answered. “But Pix, what’s going to happen to Garrie?”

  “She’ll be frozen for the next three days. Then she’ll be able to move like normal again. But it’s got to be hard to forget a thing like that. I don’t think she’s going to bother us anymore.”

  “I sure hope not,” he said. “I’m not sure I can forget about it, either, especially when I close my eyes.”

  “I know. But the good thing is that we were able to save the hat and ourselves. Sometimes, in the middle of a bad dream, like a dream about what happened with Raveneece last time, I’ll remember that. And I’ll actually be able to tell myself I’m going to be all right.”

  Just then we heard a thud. And a moan.

  “Pip, is that you?” I called.

  “Yeah, I’m okay.”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Nothing. Just go on without me,” she said in a small voice.

  I wondered if this was another trap. My hand shook as I searched the ground with my goose flashlight.