Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets)

by Belden, P. J.

  I froze and stared at him. Somehow the tears, I fought every day not to cry started trickling down my face. There is no way he could love me. Not after I told him I killed someone and lost a baby. That wasn’t even all of it, how could he love me. He began to kiss my tears away and told me not to cry. How could I not cry?

  “You don’t know everything. You can’t love me.”

  “Angel, nothing you can tell me will change this. It won’t change how right you feel in my arms. It won’t change how amazing it is to make love to you. It won’t change how much I love you. I know you aren’t ready to admit it yet and you don’t have to. I didn’t say it to you for any kind of agenda or because they are the three words, most thrown around with little meaning behind them anymore. I have never said it to anyone else and would not say it unless I truly meant it.”

  A sobbed escaped me before I could stop it. Carson just held me as I cried it out. All the years of being alone and betrayal came flooding back. The filter on my mouth broke and everything that ever happened to me came out. I told him about my mom mixing up with bad people and them having hunted me for payment for a long time. I told him about the last four years of hell after my dad died until I moved out and far away from her, I thought. I told him about my dad. There was a ton of information flooding out in a single moment, but Carson never faltered.

  We ate cold spaghetti and meatballs while I told him how wonderful my dad was and what happened when he died and how I blamed myself. No matter how bad the detail, he just sat there and listened. This continued for the next couple of days with breaks for food and love making. Until the third day when I finished the last of my story and took a deep breath, I just looked at him.

  “I know that’s a lot of information, but you wanted to know and I was finally ready to get it off my chest. You know everything about me now. Do…Do you still want me around because I will understand if you don’t.”

  He didn’t answer me in words, he just leaned over and kissed me so tenderly and lovingly that I knew in that moment that he truly did love me beyond my past to the woman I was on the inside. He loved me despite my flaws and history. Carson truly did love me.

  “Angel, I told you nothing would change how I felt. I’m angry and sad for you, but I still love you with all my heart.”

  Running my hand down his face, I looked into his eyes and could see the sincerity in them. He was telling me the truth. Wow, that feeling damn near suffocated me. This was what it was like to have someone love you. This was what it felt like to have someone care about and want to protect you. Three months ago, I never thought that existed then one phone call and my life has literally changed forever.

  “Carson,” I whispered.

  He said nothing else, just leaned down and kissed me. The softness in his lips and in the kiss almost had me in tears again. It was the tenderness in this touch and his eyes. It was more than action. Trailing his hands down to the hem of my shirt, he left behind a trail of heat where his fingers touched. When he reached the hem of my shirt, he slipped his hands under and lightly skimmed his fingers across my stomach on their way up to my breasts. Just as he was about to reach my breasts, his phone started to ring.

  He groaned. “Ignore it.”

  Carson began to kiss me again when the phone stopped ringing. Running my hands up his arms, I wrapped them around his neck pulling him closer. He slowly backed me up to the wall. I immediately flashed back to Kayla’s house and how we were interrupted. I started to laugh at the memory. Carson pulled back and looked at me with confusion.

  “Something funny?”

  “I was just remembering the last time we were in this position.” I laughed.

  “Yeah well no one can get in here this time, unless I let them in. No one is coming in this time.” He growled before taking my mouth again.

  Wrapping one leg around his waist, I began to grind into him as he pushed me harder against the wall. The moan I got from him only spurred me on more. Pulling his shirt over his head, I trailed kisses down his neck and across his bare shoulder. Carson pulled my shirt over my head and threw it to join his. I couldn’t keep my hands off his magnificent chest and stomach. The feel of him under my hands never got less unbelievable. Soon the rest of our clothes were off, and he was pressing me against the wall again while claiming my mouth. His hands running down my body until he reached my thighs and lifted me up, I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist.

  He ran kisses across my jaw up to my ear. He gently bit on the lobe before whispering, “I want your eyes open as I take you, Angel.”

  He pulled back and looked deep in my eyes. Slowly he raised me up and lowered me down on him. I felt every blessed inch and he made sure of it. When he was finally all the way in, my head fell to the wall and I sighed with completion. I felt whole…complete. The way he filled every hole there was in me made it harder for me to believe that he was like all the other guys I have come across or Harriet had exposed me to in my past. He was different and I knew it. I knew it all along, but was too afraid to admit to myself.

  Pulling out slowly before slamming back into me, he made me forget everything other than him and me. He pushed harder and faster each time. Pretty soon he had a rhythm and was teasing me with it.

  “Shit! Yeah, just like that!”

  “Angel…” he breathed.

  I took his mouth with mine. Our tongues dancing as our bodies moved against each other. My body was humming with electricity set to go off any minute. Every part of me was alive, and it was the way I felt with Carson period not just in these moments. He turned my otherwise cloudy days and made the sun shine.

  God, I love him!

  “I love you!” I screamed as my orgasm took me by surprise slamming into me like a train.

  “Fuck Colleen!” He roared as he came with me.

  Dropping his head to my chest, he breathed heavily for a bit before pulling back and walking us over to the bed. We cuddled for a few minutes. I could sense he wanted to ask if I meant it, but didn’t want to ruin the moment so I lifted my head up from his chest.

  “Carson?”

  “Yeah,” he said groggily as he slowly opened his eyes.

  “I love you.” I whispered before softly kissing his lips and laying my head back down on his chest.

  “I love you too, Angel.” He kissed my head a few times before we both nodded off.

  It was a few hours later before I woke up. With Carson still asleep, I decided I was going to make him something to eat. Slipping on more of his boxers and a shirt, I made a mental note to bring up going back to my house for stuff if he wasn’t going to let me leave yet. Once in the kitchen, I pulled out everything I’d need to make a very nice breakfast. We are definitely going to need to go shopping, another mental note.

  I was just finishing up the gravy when arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back into the body of the man of my dreams. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

  “Good Morning beautiful.”

  “Good Morning handsome. I made breakfast.”

  “I see that. It smells good. You feel okay today?”

  “I feel great. Oh, if you would like me here any longer I really need to go back to my place to get some things. I can’t keep wearing your boxers and shirts.”

  “I like you in my boxers and shirts.” He whispered as he kissed my neck.

  “Stop. We need to eat.” I moved out of his arms and grabbed plates and silverware and plated the food.

  We ate in silence for a little while, both of us seemingly lost in our own thoughts.

  “I need to ask you something, Colleen. I don’t want you to get mad.” He blurted all of a sudden.

  “I don’t know if I like the sound of that.” I said my stomach starting to tighten causing me to lose my appetite.

  “Nothing bad, Angel. I’m just wondering if you will let me teach you some kick boxing. That way, if you’re ever off by yourself, you can protect yourself better.”

  I let out the breath I d
idn’t realize I was holding and smiled at him. “I’d love that.” Then I smacked him. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

  “Sorry. We will start after a nice hot and steamy shower.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

  “No, workout, then shower.”

  “Oh, you’re no fun.” He said with a faux pout.

  I laughed as I cleared our plates from the counter and carried them in the sink. As I was rinsing them off. Carson came up behind me and wiped something wet on my cheek.

  “What the hell?” I yelped as I wiped a little off to see what it was.

  “Damn, you’re dirty. Shower time,” he said as he bent to pick me up.

  I squealed and ran to the other side of the kitchen. “Don’t you dare! Head out of the gutter and let’s focus here.”

  “Oh, I’m focusing all right. Now get over here and no one gets hurt,” he said as he stalked towards me.

  Continuing to move away from him, “You need to teach me to protect myself so I’m safe when you’re not around. Remember?”

  Honestly, I don’t know why I’m fighting this. I want it just as bad as he does. Maybe it’s the tease in me? Or maybe it’s the fact that I know if we don’t do what we need to first, we’ll never get out of the bedroom.

  “I have seen a food fight end with both participants on the floor. Now you wouldn’t want that, would you?”

  “We aren’t having a food fight. First, you will be teaching me or you will not be getting any of me for a while.”

  He stopped dead in his tracks. “Let’s train then.”

  I bust up laughing and Carson soon joins in wrapping his arms around me. “I love you, Colleen.”

  I smile softly at him. “I love you too.”

  He leans down and kisses me. When he breaks the kiss, I am left with the want to take a shower rather than the need to train. Shaking my head slightly, I rest my head on his chest and just enjoy being in his arms.

  “I like this.” He whispered.

  “Me too.” I sighed.

  “Okay,” he said as he rubbed my arms up and down. “Which would you like to do first, get more stuff or train?”

  “Do you really want me to stay here longer?” I asked looking up at him.

  “Of course I do. At least until you are better and I know you can defend yourself.”

  I just nodded my head and told him to go to my place. Honestly, I was kind of scared to go back there. I was afraid that I will no longer see my home only the attack. As we headed that way in his truck, I tried to focus on other things. It wasn’t long before he was grabbing my hand and asking if I was okay.

  “I’m okay.” I forced a smile that I didn’t feel and started to get out of the truck.

  Carson was over to my side taking my hand the minute I was out of the truck. I stared at my place. The beep of him setting his alarm on the truck scared me and I jumped.

  “Angel, we don’t have to do this.”

  “No! No, I need to. This is my home.” I said firmly.

  More determined to do this than ever before, I stormed up to my door and unlocked it and walked in. I froze causing Carson to bump into me. The smell alone took your breath away. It made me want to turn and run more than the mess that was there.

  “What’s wrong?” He asked just as he looked around. “Holy shit, Colleen. Was it like this when you left?”

  “Y-yes, I think so. Would you mind helping me clean it? I can’t leave this and come back to it.”

  “Of course. Let me make a phone call real fast. You go change into something and we’ll start when you come back.”

  I nodded and headed to my bedroom through all the debris. When I got to my room, my breath caught in my throat. My room…my room was…my things…

  “Carson…” I got out barely above a whisper.

  Slowly I started walking backwards, I just wanted out of there. Nothing survived, I’m almost sure of it. Everything I worked so hard to get and to hold on to, it was all ruined. The anger started to boil and retreating did not become an option. This little bitch was not going to control my life. I spent far too many years scared and afraid to move forward. Not anymore! I marched over to my closet and searched for anything that survived. There was one of my running bras and a pair of yoga pants that survived the carnage. I changed and walked out to my living room.

  “Carson, it’s the whole house. My room, my office, my bathroom…she ruined everything! I’m going to have to buy all new shit!” I ranted as I walked around the kitchen and living room.

  Carson was still on the phone with his back toward me and had just turned around starting to say, “We will get it figured out, Angel. Don’t… Uh, Wow!” He finished trailing his eyes down my body.

  “It was the only thing that survived of my clothes. I have to buy all new clothes. I hate shopping for clothes!”

  “Seriously? I thought all women loved shopping for clothes.”

  “Well, you thought wrong.”

  “I just got off the phone with everyone and they are all coming here to help. I also ordered a dumpster too, so that should be here soon.”

  “Wait, who is everyone?”

  “Oh well, there’s Jason and Kayla, Eli, Jeff, my mom and dad, Nick, Jack and Jake. Mary isn’t here this month like she normally is and Mylee and Kylee are busy with work as is Colt. But I think with everyone that is coming we should be able to clean and paint today and then we can pick out furniture and shit tomorrow unless you want to do it tonight then we can. Whatever you need…”

  I cut him off by smashing my lips into his. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled him as close to me as I could get him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close to him. Running his hand up my back, tangling his hand in my hair before pulling it down, he deepened the kiss further and all the trash and broken shit and mess around me… all forgotten. All I was thinking about was Carson and his hardness digging into my stomach right at this moment.

  He pushed me against the door. He wasted no time dropping down to his knees and pulling my pants down. Carson looked up at me with a glint in his eye as he nuzzled me between my legs before freeing one leg completely from my pants and lifting it over his shoulder. His tongue spread my folds and he licked his way up to my clit and circled it slowly.

  “Oh God…” I breathed.

  He worked my clit with his tongue for a bit before inserting a finger. I cried out as he hooked his finger just right hitting that spot. Before I knew it, my orgasm ripped through me and my knees buckled, but he kept me upright until I rode it out. Kissing his way up my stomach, pulling down my running bra and freeing my breast, he took each in his mouth and sucked them greedily.

  Not being able to take anymore, I pulled him up to me and kissed him. My hands began to undo his pants and pull his erection out. Breaking the kiss and stroking him from root to tip, I looked up at him.

  “I need you right now inside me. Fuck me hard big boy.”

  “You don’t have to ask me twice.” He growled before lifting me and slamming into me hard.

  “Oh God, yes!” I moaned.

  It was slow, hard thrusts and it was driving me insane. Loosening my legs from his waist causing him to pull out, once I was standing on the ground I turned around and arched my back and looked over my shoulder.

  “What are you waiting for?” I said as I bit my lip.

  “Just committing this vision to memory. You look so fucking hot right now.”

  Without another word, he gripped my hips and slammed into me. It was the best feeling in the world. With every thrust all the edginess of the day vanished. All the worries from the shambles my apartment was left in were gone. All I needed was Carson; he made things better, no matter how bad they looked.

  “Yes, Carson that feels so good! Fuck me harder!” I moaned.

  “Fuck! You feel so amazing. So tight. Yeah clench that pussy around me. Fuck!”

  “Faster, baby. Faster!”

  He pushed harder and faster, knocking me harder into the
door each time. It felt so fucking good. He was claiming me and I was claiming him and my life right back. I could feel myself start to build. It seemed to start in my toes and slowly work its way up to my core before exploding through my whole body. My legs shook, my head lolled back as far as it would go, fireworks exploded and I screamed out his name.

  “Fuck Colleen! I’m coming Angel!” He roared as he pounded into me one last time.

  His orgasm sent me over the edge again. It was weaker this time, but still covered my whole body. Carson leaned over me resting his head on my back, both of us are trying to catch our breath. Eventually he pulled out of me and corrected his clothing and helped me back in mine. I really had no energy left to do anything here. The thought had me laughing.

  “I’m thinking the same thing Angel, but we have help coming so we have no choice. No going back to bed. Time to work. Everyone should be here…” A knock sounded on the door. “Any minute now,” he said with a laugh and a sly smile.

  As he started to open the door, I pulled him to me and kissed him tenderly.

  “I love you. Thank you.”

  “Anything for you, my love.” He kissed me again, then opened the door.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  ~CARSON~

  “Geez dude can’t you stay off her for longer than five minutes. Hell, we heard you outside.” Nick said, barging in the door.

  I looked at Colleen and winked. “Nope, sure can’t.” I said with a chuckle as Colleen’s face turned red.

  Wrapping my arm around her waist I pulled her close to me. She was embarrassed. Colleen was a beautiful woman. Her long dark straight hair, beautiful blue gray eyes and her ‘made to torment you’ body, all making her the Angel she is to me. I’ve noticed when we are making love her eyes are more gray than blue, very hot.

  “Don’t worry Angel. If they really did hear us they will only torture me, not you.” I whispered and she nodded.

  “Oh my goodness! Dear, you must have been so scared.” My mom said, taking her in a hug.

  My dad stood next to my mom looking around the living area. He looked back at me and I knew what he was thinking. I was thinking the same thing.