“It’s okay, babe. I understand why you did.”
Jack showed up only a few minutes later and he and I talked in the bedroom quietly about all the things that had happened at while I was held there and what I have been experiencing afterwards.
“I need you to come to my office so I can get some blood work done. There will be nothing on paper, I promise. It sounds like it could be many things, but the best way to rule it all out is doing some blood work.”
“Thank you Jackson. I know you must think so horribly of me, but I swear this is the reason I tried to stay away.”
Jackson took a hold of my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “Colleen, I have never thought anything bad about you. I was sad for you for what you have been through, but you are great for my brother. Before you, he was headed on a downhill spiral. With you, he is back to the Carson we know and love. I have a feeling he’s the same for you.” He said smiling.
I nodded my head. “More than you know. He’s my everything.” I whispered.
“I know. Now, I need for you to try and eat small meals more often. Try to eat every two hours. Small, light meals, it should help with the nausea and dizziness. Try ginger tea as well or you can buy ginger crystals and chew on them. Come to my office on Tuesday next week. It’s my free day. No one will be in the office.”
“Okay, thank you…for everything.”
“Hey, this is what family is for.” He smiles.
“I wouldn’t know. I lost mine when I was thirteen.” I said sadly.
Jackson patted my hand, then squeezed it reassuringly. “You have one now.”
He gathered up his things and we walked to the door. I had to laugh when we opened the door and I saw Carson pacing back and forth. When he noticed the door was open, he started questioning what was going on. Jackson patiently explained everything and about going to his office on Tuesday.
Jackson left and I stood in the kitchen while Carson was out talking to Jackson. I turned to find Geno standing behind. Shockingly, he grabbed me in his arms and held me in a hug. Taken back by the sudden change in his behavior, I just stood there.
“Uh, Geno…what’s up?”
“I was so worried when I saw you falling. Are you okay? How are you feeling? What can I do?”
“I’m fine.” I said curtly. Regret followed almost immediately when I saw the hurt on his face. I sighed. “I’m sorry, Geno. It’s just that I’m not sure how I feel about everything yet. I’m grateful for the risk you took saving me, but a father never would have taken me there to begin with. You would have saved me then, but instead you let him attack me. You let him hold me for ten days. I’m sorry if I’m not running to you, calling you daddy. I just can’t right now.”
He nodded his head sadly and turned toward the pile of bags on the floor I hadn’t noticed until then. He rummaged through them before finding whatever it was he was looking for.
“I, uh, went out and bought you clothes. Carson told me you lost everything when that chick broke in. I also wanted to give you this,” he walked toward me with sad eyes and held out a photo album. “I know I screwed up, but I really thought I was doing the right thing. Maybe one day you might see it too. I love you flower. I know you don’t want me to call you that, but it was my nickname for you. Tanner brought me pictures of you when you were born and that was how I described you. He agreed. Anyway, I have to go get some things, but I’ll be back in a few days. I just wanted to do something for you before I left. I hope this shows you…” he shrugs and walks out of the kitchen toward the hallway.
I stared down at the album in my hands for a moment before heading to my room. Climbing up on the bed, I sat and stared at it some more.
What could be in here and do I really want to see whatever it is?
Opening the album, the front page reads ‘To my daughter, my life, my flower’. Tears started to form in my eyes already. I wanted to close it, but I turned the page. My hand went to my mouth. Page after page were pictures of me at all ages, some from a distance and others up close. Something told me the up close ones were my dad giving them to him. Then I saw the pictures of me being pregnant, the beatings I took, my breath left my lungs when I saw several pictures of my beautiful daughter. Below them, he wrote, ‘My granddaughter, an Angel’. The tears were falling fast now. Every moment in my life he was there. At the end there was what appeared to be a very old note. I opened it with shaking hands.
Dear Flower,
You were born today and I can’t hold you. Today my world changed and I can’t enjoy you. You won’t understand now, but I want to be there. I want to hold you and raise you, but I don’t have the life that I would want you in. It is safer for you to be raised by your uncle, my brother. He has promised to treat you as his own and I believe he will. He wanted kids, but sadly he couldn’t have them. For now he has you. He will always have you.
One day I hope that you will know me and love me for what I did and not what I didn’t. One day I hope you can understand why I did what I did. The man I work for is not a good man. If I took you, you’d be in harm’s way and taken from me before I could do anything to save you. Tanner will keep you safe from these men. I am with you always because you are in my heart and on my mind.
Love your invisible dad.
Then it broke to a few months later.
Dearest Flower,
It is hard to write this note. I saw you and held you for the first time today. Your papa brought you to work and let me come see you. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do to put you down and walk away. I love you so much and will do anything for you. I hope you see that one day.
Next note was a few years later…
Oh my precious flower,
I saw you today. You were bruised and a bit swollen in the face, even from the distance I was I could see it. Your papa told me what was happening and suddenly my well laid plans of your being out of harm’s way was backfiring. As much as it pains me to say this, you are safer there. I will protect you with all I am. My precious little flower…Daddy loves you so much…
I couldn’t read anymore. He really was watching over me. He was there for everything and his pain was evident in his writing in the letters. My feet started moving before I realized they were, but I knew where I was going. Out in the garage, I watch as Geno starts to pull away toward the secret entrance. Carson tried to stop me, but I ran after him. It didn’t take long before I saw his brake lights come on and he was getting out of the car. Running faster, I ran right into his arms. Bawling my eyes out, I hugged him and he hugged me tightly.
“Thank you,” I said, wiping my eyes and pulling myself together.
“For what?” He said, helping me dry my tears.
“For being there even when I didn’t know. I’m not sure where this leaves us, but maybe it’s a start. Please be careful with whatever you’re doing. I can’t handle losing two fathers.”
He smiled brightly at me and promised to be careful. After one last hug, he drove off and I went back to Carson. He held his arms open wide for me and I walked right into his loving embrace. As we made our way inside, I felt a little lighter. It was like my life was finally gaining stability and I was finally able to just enjoy myself.
Carson and I put away all the clothes and things that Geno had bought before climbing into bed. It was when Carson grabbed the album that I remembered I had left it on the bed. Sleepily, I told him he could look at it, that they were pictures of me that Geno had before I fell asleep.
** ** ** ** ** ** **
It was going on two weeks of being back with Carson. We made it to Jackson’s office and then home to train. That was what we did was train and I rarely ever left the fucking house. I had a bad case of cabin fever and I was seriously close to losing it if I didn’t get out of the house and soon. I walked into the kitchen just as Carson was getting home. He left earlier to go to his sister’s clinic to help her with a few things.
“Carson, I need out of this fucking house! I love you and all
, but if I have to stay here one more minute I think I might go insane.”
He frowned at me, but nodded his head. “We’ll go to the gym to train today. Does that sound okay? I can take you out to eat?”
I beamed at him, ran to him and threw my arms around his neck. “Yes, thank you.”
He spun me around in a circle and chuckled. Feeling a sudden urge to get sick, I patted his shoulder to get him to stop. Carson released me and I held my hand to my mouth breathing deeply to get the nausea to pass.
“Has my brother called with any results yet?”
“No, he said it would be another few days.”
Carson sighed his frustration. “Okay, go get changed into your training gear and we’ll go to the gym.”
“Yay!” I clapped excitedly and bounced out of the room. I could hear him laughing behind me as I went to change. This was a big step for him to let me out of the safety of his house, so I promised myself I would focus extra hard. I danced around the room getting ready to go.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
~CARSON~
In my gut, I had a sinking feeling about taking her out but she had been cooped up in this house since she has been back. Maybe getting out and away from everything will help get her over whatever it is going on. She doesn’t throw up as often, but the fact she still does some has me worried. Sighing, I made my way to the bedroom to change as well. We both packed a change of clothes and climbed into my truck and took off in the direction of the gym.
We no more than walked in the gym door, when Connor walked up to us extending his hand to Colleen.
“I’m Connor, Carson’s trainer.” He stated. I knew what he was doing. He thought of her as a distraction.
“I’m Colleen, Caron’s girlfriend.” She answered sweetly.
“Girlfriend? Oh, so you’re the one that caused him to lose his cool…” He stated unaware of what was really going on.
“Yeah, sorry about that.” She replied, dropping her head.
“No,” I said to her lifting her head up. “You do not apologize for that. You never apologize for being abducted.” I said, glaring at Connor and he dropped his head after his eyes widened.
I kissed her softly on the lips and turned back to Connor. “I’m here to train her some more. She needed a break of scenery. I hope that’s okay?”
“No, that’s just fine. I need to talk to you though before you get busy.”
I nodded to him, “Angel, why don’t you go and start warming up and I’ll be there in just a minute.” She nodded and headed off.
“Carson, I have a fight for you. It’s this weekend and it’s big. You’ll have to stay overnight, but you’ll be home by Sunday.”
“I can’t right now. I’ve got a lot going on right now that I just can’t leave.”
“Carson, you are going to have to do this fight. It’s in the contract.”
I sighed. “Yeah, okay. When do I need to head out?”
“Tomorrow night. You’ll stay overnight on Saturday and be back by Sunday evening.”
I nodded and walked away.
How could I leave right now? How could I put Colleen in that kind of position? Maybe if I can get her to promise that she won’t leave the house things will be okay.
“Hey, what’s the long face for?” She said wrapping her arms around my waist.
“I have a fight this weekend. I have to leave tomorrow and won’t be back until Sunday night.”
“Oh, well we best make sure you kick ass, shouldn’t we?” She said forcing a fake smile.
She was just as worried about my leaving as I was, but honestly, it had been two weeks and nothing had happened. Maybe he wasn’t going to retaliate at all? After all, he had his money.
“You could come with me, you know?”
“No, if I came with you, you’d be too distracted. I’ll be safer here and so will you.”
I wanted to argue more, but maybe she had a point. Maybe…
“Let’s get you some more training.” I smiled as I leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I love you.”
She smiled back at me and rose up on her toes and kissed me again. And we got to work. She seemed to be extra focused today. No sly remarks, no goofing off, nothing just focused. We were just taking a break and I was rubbing down her arms and had leaned down and kissed her neck when Tommy walked in.
“Aw, look at Carson, can’t get a girl on his own, so he’s hitting on the women that come and go.” Tommy taunts.
Before I could say anything Colleen pipes in. “You have a problem with me asshole. We can take it to the ring.”
“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” I snapped spinning her around.
“Relax, I know what I’m doing.” She says easily.
“Angel…”
“Stop, just trust me on this.”
She turns back around to face Tommy. “What do you say grumpy? Care to try your luck against a girl since you can’t seem to kick a guy’s ass if your life depended on it?” She taunted.
I cringed and gripped her shoulders tighter. She laughed. I knew what this guy could do. He wasn’t a fair fighter.
“Care to make a wager?”
“Sure. If I win, you will give Carson the respect he deserves and straighten your ass up so maybe you could get a girl of your own and be as happy as Carson and I.”
“And if I win…” he comes closer and lowers his voice. “I’ll fuck you every which way ‘til Sunday like the whore that you are.”
Before I could think twice, I punched him and I was going after him again until Colleen stepped in front of me.
“Stop, this is my fight.”
“He is not going to sit here and talk to you like that or think he even stands a chance.”
“Stop…” she turns back to Tommy. “Deal.” She smirked.
What in the fuck is going on here?
“No, no deal! You must think I’m fucking stupid. There is no way I’m letting my girlfriend in the ring with those kind of wages. You’re fucking crazy!”
“Carson, trust me. I can do this. Can you please turn my song on?” She walked over and got into the ring.
“She’s gone fucking crazy! That is what is going on here. She has lost her fucking mind!” I mumbled to myself as I walked over to the gym’s sound system.
I turned on the sound system, hooked my iPod up to it, selecting the song and putting it on repeat. Turning, I watched her jump around and rotating her neck. She looked damn sexy in her sports bra and shorts. Jumping up on the ring, I massaged her shoulders and tried again to talk her out of it. She wouldn’t listen to me. She swears to me she’s okay. Tommy gets in the ring and I kiss Colleen before exiting the ring. My last words of advice were to let him lead the dance and to watch for her openings.
“If you think because you’re a girl that I’m gonna take it easy on you, you’re wrong. I’ll kick your ass just like I do every other weak ass man here. Got it?”
“Loud and clear, asshat. One plus one equals you’re a prick. Blah…blah…blah. Enough of the speech…bring it on.”
“You asked for it…” he said to her right before he moved in and took the first swing.
My breath caught in my throat as his fist came hurtling towards her face. She dodged it. Oh My God, she dodged his punch. She followed through with a punch to the ribs and if I’m not mistaking, Tommy grunted a bit. They circled each other and Tommy came at her again. This time he hit her. She stumbled back a few steps and shook her head for a second. Tommy had a smirk on his face as he watched her trying to regain her composure. The asshole pounced on her like she wasn’t a woman, but a man in the ring that could handle the blows. At the last minute she moved out of the way and nailed him with her elbow in his back before spinning around and knocking his feet out from under him.
Tommy immediately jumped up and moved toward her. I could see the anger in his body movements and on his face. My heart was hammering hard in my chest. It actually drowned out the sound of the music and eve
ryone cheering my girl on. Not one person in the gym was cheering for Tommy this time. That probably pissed Tommy off even more. I found myself copying her moves and mimicking what I would be doing if I was in the ring. The song kicked into overdrive for the millionth time. I didn’t know how many times it had played, but it had been more than five times before I quit counting and my heart was in my throat. Why did I let her do this? Let her do this? I laughed to myself. Colleen never does anything that she’s told she has to do or not do. She is stubborn that way. But God do I love her.
“Come on, Angel! Get him! Knock him the fuck out!” I blurted out suddenly.
Suddenly, she kicks him in the gut with a very forceful looking front kick and Tommy falls backwards landing against the ropes. He sat there a moment, stunned. My eyes were glued to Tommy. I swear to you if that son of a bitch hurts her, I might just go to jail for murder. For whatever reason, Colleen wasn’t running in and finishing him off. That’s what I would have done. Kicked the asshat while he was down, but she just sat back and shifted from foot to foot. She had a look of pride on her face. Tommy sat winded on the ground not getting up. Suddenly he jumps nails her in the ribs followed by an uppercut to her chin. I’m up on the edge of the ring getting ready to jump into the ring when she whips her knee up and nails him in the nuts, hits him on the side then the other side, uppercut to the face and two jabs. She finishes off with a side kick and Tommy falls to the mat against the ropes again. Then to my surprise, he taps the ropes. I’m over the ropes and to my Angel in no time flat.
“Angel, are you okay?”
“I think so,” she breathed. “Can we go home?” She looked up at me and I could tell she was fighting to keep her composure.
I nodded my head and kissed her forehead. Opening the ropes for her to step out, I followed, then jumped down and lifted her down as well.
“I’m so proud of you, but I still can’t believe you did that and I allowed it.”
All the guys from the gym came around to congratulate her and tell her how kick ass she was, but she barely smiled and nodded at them.
Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets) Page 21