Hell and Back: The Protector Guild Book 4

by Holborn, Gray

  I cocked my brow when I glanced down at her, noticing that she was wearing nothing more than a much-too-big shirt that was down to her knees. My lip curled in disgust when I scented the obnoxious protector all over her. So much for him being entertaining—now I almost wished I’d just let him die. Seemed she had gotten up to some fun while I was away. Explained why the room smelled like sex, but I couldn’t figure out why the thought of her tangled up with one of the dimwits in the other room had my blood boiling.

  “Let’s go for a walk,” I said in answer, and while it stung that my words couldn’t bring her the comfort that she was so clearly craving, she exhaled softly and nodded in response.

  “Let me just,” she glanced down at the cloth covering her and let out a ragged breath, her posture dejected and insecure. “I’m just going to put some clothes on.”

  I nodded and waited at the doorway for her to finish, keeping my back to her to help prevent any further embarrassment. Now that she’d agreed to come for a walk with me, I no longer needed to listen in on the others. It was clear that whatever she’d overheard, she was not pleased with—and I was self-aware enough to admit that her disapproval pleased me. Meant I’d have less trouble getting her to agree to keep her side of the bargain. Not that I fully understood why I even made that bargain in the first place. I wasn’t the type of person who wanted to keep someone around for any extended period of time—not unless their presence could benefit me somehow.

  Something about her just had me…intrigued. And since I didn’t exactly have a ton of people excited about my miraculous escape from The Guild’s creepy ass dungeon, she was the best thing to keep me occupied for now. And the only person who didn’t look at me with the desire to skin me alive drawn across her features.

  “I’m ready,” she whispered, and I could hear the heavy sadness swallowing her up. Could practically smell it, like it was caking against my body, like it was my own sadness.

  I looked down at my fist and noticed that it was clenched, hard enough that my joints cracked from the pressure. Clearly I didn’t like it when she was sad. Interesting.

  But a worry for another day. We had more important things to focus on. Like finding a way to survive this place. We’d been here for only a few hours and already had two close calls. That didn’t bode well, especially considering how preternaturally quiet this place felt now. Such a radical difference from the last time I was in town.

  I glanced down at her and saw she was wearing what I was fast-considering her own little uniform—black leggings and a black tank top that revealed just enough to keep things interesting.

  Without another word, I grabbed her hand in mine and pulled her to the door. I tried not to focus on the feel of her soft skin against mine—used every ounce of willpower I had to pretend I didn’t smell the lingering scent of that boy wafting off of her.

  “It’s dark,” she said, her curiosity eclipsing some of the sadness from before. “I didn’t know if it actually got dark here. I didn’t really notice a sun.”

  “Hell isn’t all that different from the human realm,” I said in answer, pulling her along at my side, away from the warehouse. Part of me was giddy with the idea of leaving the other protector assholes behind. They’d be furious, of course. But this had been what I’d wanted all along.

  Still, the fact that it happened at the girl’s expense stole some of the victorious feeling away. Which was its own brand of annoying. Another thing to hate protectors for.

  “Is it true?” she asked again, her voice still soft, like the three goons could overhear her even out here. She really knew next to nothing about this world and her people. Protectors were just glorified humans. Though the wolf had some added strengths, of course.

  “Yes,” I answered, tone matter-of-fact. “You fried a bunch of vampires and they decided to keep it from you.” I glanced around, checking the perimeter to make sure that nothing was nearby. “Not sure why they’re making such a big deal. It’s not like you fried any of them. If anyone should be concerned, it’s me.”

  My arm grew taut and when I turned back, I realized that she’d stopped walking, her jaw tense and brown eyes wide as a doe’s.

  “What kind of creature can create fire? Out of fucking nowhere?”

  Good question. I’d been trying to come up with an answer since the second I witnessed the event, but I was drawing a blank.

  “I’m not sure,” I answered, figuring I’d go with the approach no one else had taken with her before—the truth. “I’ve been trying to figure it out, but hell is a diverse place. I’m not familiar with every sort of creature that lives here. And the most dangerous ones are notoriously few and far between.”

  Especially since it had been years since I’d been around my own kind—and even more since I’d been to hell.

  “And the only creatures I can think of off the top of my head aren’t humanoid, don’t reproduce, or haven’t been seen in ages.” I added, winking at her. “And you’re definitely humanoid.

  “So you think it’s true then—that I’m a demon?”

  There was that hope again. And I knew what she wanted from me in that moment. For me to look at her and say ‘no,’ that there was probably some perfectly reasonable explanation for why she could heal creatures on the verge of death or turn others into a raging inferno. That she was just a protector with a few wires crossed or something.

  “Probably,” I said instead.

  Part of me expected her to start crying at that. To drop to the ground and ball up—hiding from the reality of her situation until she couldn’t avoid it anymore. And I wouldn’t even blame her. It was a wild thing, having your entire universe turned upside down.

  But, once again, the little protector surprised me. She seemed to do that a lot. Which was equal parts refreshing and frustrating.

  I watched as her posture straightened, her face regaining that angled, intelligent expression I was growing so fond of.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  “Of course.” I turned back, ready to continue on our journey, but stopped mid stride. “But what are you thanking me for again, just so I’m clear?”

  “For telling me the truth. It seems rare for people in my world to be straight with me. I’m getting really sick of it, to be honest.”

  I nodded, narrowing my eyes at her. “You really have no idea where you come from, do you?”

  She shook her head, her eyes tight with emotion, though I wasn’t sure which. “What about Khalida? She said that I could heal like her—that I helped heal Eli. Am I like her?”

  “Khali is very powerful,” I said slowly, “but she can’t create fire from nothing.” I paused a beat, and grinned. I’d forgotten how much fun Khali was to be around. I’d missed her. I missed so much. “She’d probably kill for that sort of power though. Girl loves fire. And most things that are dangerous and deadly, if I’m being honest. Bit of a wild bag, that girl.”

  “What is she?” she asked, glancing down at our hands that were still intertwined for some reason that I couldn’t actually provide.

  I wasn’t going to pull away though. It felt nice having her close by where I could keep an eye on her. The girl was a ticking time bomb and the closer she was, the less of a chance of her getting dead. My eyes moved from our hands to her neck and I swallowed, forcing my gaze to her eyes. I needed to feed. Ideally soon. Or wendigos wouldn’t be the only thing I needed to protect her from.

  “Khali is unique,” I said, grinning when I saw Max’s responding glare. “Can’t divulge all of our secrets all at once, little protector. Have to give you a reason to keep coming back for more. I’ve been starved for good conversation far too long to use it all up in one go.”

  She snorted but moved on. “Where are we going then? Did you find your friend earlier?”

  My stomach dropped at the reminder. After hours of hunting for her all that I came up with was a series of disappointments and one very close call with a couple of vampires who didn’t take kindly to unfamili
ar faces. I shook my head. “No, I didn’t. But I’m going to hit one more old spot to try and find answers. I just was really hoping to avoid this particular part of my past. Having company will help.”

  Max studied me as we continued walking. I could feel her eyes practically drilling into my skull. After a long moment, she pulled on my hand until I stopped and spun towards her.

  “You’re worried,” she said. It wasn’t a question, and my breath stuttered at the intelligent focus on her face. She was naive, that was for damn sure, but she wasn’t dense.

  I stared at her, trying to figure out how she could read that expression. I was notorious for being a closed book when I wanted to be. But maybe that was it. Maybe something about this protector—or whatever the hell she was—made me not want to hide every little thought or feeling that went flitting through my mind. Made me almost want to open up and let her look around at all the mess that lurked beneath the surface.

  “It’s okay to be worried for your friend, Darius,” she lifted her lips in a coy grin that I had the strangest urge to lick. I needed food. And I needed to get laid. And both needed to happen soon. “I promise not to tell anyone that you actually care about someone other than yourself. We don’t want to ruin your reputation all in one fell swoop.”

  I pulled my hand away from hers in response, and missed the feeling of holding it as soon as I wasn’t. Maybe she did have some succubus buried somewhere in her genes. I’d seen weirder things.

  But I’d been with a succubus before, and I knew that wasn't the sort of draw I was feeling. It was like there was some strange force inside of me, desperately reaching for something in her.

  “How far away is this friend we are looking for?” She took in every sight with such curiosity and fascination. It had to be strange—spending a lifetime hating hell and all the creatures who lived in it, only to find that she might damn well belong here herself.

  Part of me wanted to see this world through her eyes. A lot had changed since I was last an inhabitant. The magic here felt off, chaotic even, in a way that had the hair on my arms standing up with each new turn. There were fewer creatures too than I’d remembered. More rundown buildings, the scent of desolation and desperation almost pungent. And something about the silence—the lack—had me more concerned than I wanted to admit.

  An involuntary shiver ran through my bones. I didn’t miss this place. Not at all. And after spending so much of my life trying to leave, it was strange to take the plunge back into this realm by choice. Claude was right in his anger and confusion. My decision to join them on their quest made no sense, especially given the fact that the wolf offered me the opportunity to walk away.

  “For a protector? She’d be a good night or two of walking,” I said, lifting my brow as I studied her. “For us, we can make it happen in a few short hours if we run.”

  Her face scrunched up as she looked at me. “I’m no faster than a protector, Darius. I might be something different, something…more maybe, but I don’t have a vampire’s speed.”

  So she hadn’t noticed how fast we’d been going when we were hunting down Eli and the monster tormenting him. I’d thought as much, but this confirmed it.

  “You’re as fast as I am, little protector.” I’d need a new nickname, once I had the time to come up with something that fit better. This one certainly no longer did. “When we went after the useless one, you were able to keep up without a problem.”

  I grabbed her hand in mind again, determined to hold onto her so that we weren’t parted during our travels. At least that’s what I told myself. Her pulse on the inside of her wrist was jackhammering against mine and I ran a tongue against my canines. They were descending. I needed to find something to eat. And the sooner the better. I was generally pretty good at holding off my appetites, but captivity had done strange things to my body. As had the physical exertion of fighting my brother and a couple of wendigos.

  And the girl was far too tempting on days I’d had my fill, let alone on those I hadn’t.

  Confusion and fear marred her features, and I tried not to grin when I felt her hand squeeze mine. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she wanted me near, to help her navigate her own anxieties about her identity.

  Not giving her time to overthink things too much, I took off at a swift pace, a wild smile stretching across my face as I felt her keep up stride-for-stride. For a long moment, if I closed my eyes, I could almost forget that the last decade of my life happened, could almost let myself feel something that was peculiarly close to…joy?

  We ran for hours, making sure to take the necessary routes to avoid any creatures that I heard off in the distance. I didn’t have the best hearing compared to some of the creatures in this realm, but it was pretty damn close. And for now, everyone we came across would be considered an enemy. With only two of us, and with so little information about the social hierarchies these days, it was best to stay clear of everything and everyone altogether.

  I took her near one of my favorite spots, a large river that connected two territories, spending just as much of my focus on watching her take the scene in as watching the soothing whirls myself. The Styx was the feature that most closely aligned with my memory of it—the water a clear steely gray that swirled in places so dark that it almost looked iridescent, like I was looking into space instead of the sea. It was a somber place, but it had always been a favorite of mine growing up, a place to get away for a few hours and dream of better lives for me and my family.

  “It’s beautiful,” I heard her whisper as the wind carried her voice behind us, her quiet laughter soliciting some of my own. I swallowed that shit back though, because giggling next to The Styx alongside a pretty girl was not really my vibe.

  “It is,” I agreed as I studied her dark brown eyes, watching as they reflected the world around us back to me. Somehow, it was almost more appealing through that lens, even if a little less complete, like a strangely enticing mirror that held a healthy dose of mystery.

  We lost track of time and, for a moment, I was convinced that even if Nika wasn’t to be found, I could convince Max to abandon her silly quest and spend time trying to nurture and understand her powers, where they came from and what she was. Now that she’d turned against the others, a small buoy seemed to be lifting me, my spirits higher than I’d remembered them being in ages. So long as the prick back there didn’t go and get himself almost killed again, it didn’t matter what they did with their time in hell.

  My stomach dropped slightly, as I thought about my eternal connection to the ass. What had I been thinking, tying my life to one of them? I didn’t blame Claude for attacking me for it—I’d have done the same to him if the situation was reversed.

  When we slowed outside of the familiar town, I watched the joy melt from her expression and make way for fear. “They’ll be worried. If we spend much longer away.”

  I dropped her hand from mine, trying to control the grip around my chest. “You want to go back? To them? Even after they’ve kept so much from you, betrayed you? Even knowing what they might do to you once you’re back in the human realm?”

  If we ever made it back to the human realm, that was.

  I didn’t take her for being irrational, but maybe I was just as naive as she was.

  Her face was drawn, a sad reluctance visible across every feature. She wasn’t good at keeping her emotions discreet, and I wasn’t sure whether her openness was pleasing or disturbing to me.

  “We need to find Wade. That’s still the goal, regardless of what happens after.” She rolled her bottom lip against her teeth as I paused behind an old building, familiar and worn. “Besides, I don’t really blame them. I don’t know how I would respond to traveling around with someone who had unwieldy powers that only demons possessed. We’re trained from a very young age to hate everything that is associated with the hell realm. It’s literally encoded in our DNA to want to kill and protect in equal measures.”

  I bit my tongue, not wanting to ar
gue. That was a discussion for another day. Her world wasn’t what she thought it was, but I knew it would take more than my telling her so to convince her. Protectors were a stubborn fucking bunch, and even if she wasn’t one of them, she was raised by them. “For a team that currently consists of a werewolf and an incubus, you all have a rather inconsistent view of the world.”

  So maybe I wouldn’t keep totally silent on the issue. But I wasn’t exactly known for keeping my thoughts to myself. Years of captivity had seriously loosened my already loose tongue.

  She opened her mouth to say something else, but I placed my fingers against it before any sound could escape. Someone was coming, but I couldn’t quite triangulate the sound and figure out exactly which direction it was coming from.

  I knew Nika’s movements like I knew my own. This wasn’t her. Which meant that—

  My back slammed against the stone building, my fingers digging into the moss and vines growing in the crevices. This part of the world seemed relatively abandoned, like it had been left for the environment to reclaim it. The musty scent of the vegetation coated my nostrils with every breath I took, like it was the environment’s cloying attempt to take back the world we’d all destroyed.

  “You have a lot of nerve showing yourself here,” a deep voice filled with anger reached my ears a second before I registered the face.

  “Nash,” I said, an echo of fear slinking down my spine. We hadn’t exactly left off on a good note.

  He looked just as I remembered—deep gray eyes with hair so dark it was almost reflective. The typical scowl was plastered to his face, only it was rare for his anger to be directed towards me.

  “What are you doing back here?” He shoved his forearm against my throat, pinning my spine to the wall like I was nothing more than plaster.

  “Good to see you too,” I choked out. “It’s been ages.”

  I glanced over at Max, tempted to tell her to get out of here while she had a chance. She could set shit on fire, so she might even survive without me there to protect her. Nash was an unpredictable motherfucker and I hadn’t fully expected to encounter him while chasing down his sister.