Transformation

by Jaliza A. Burwell

  Maura sat with Yena and I went to them, ignoring everyone else’s silent questions. I was only a little late, they didn’t need to get their panties in a bunch.

  “I’m coming with you after the meeting.” I tossed Maura the small pouch. “She’s been poisoned with Berrinberry. Make a tea out of these to neutralize the poison and then you’ll be able to heal her.”

  Maura grabbed the pouch and opened it, sniffing, before closing it. She nodded and I went over to an empty seat between Mage Thomas and Leon. Landus fell into the empty chair next to another shifter who I didn’t recognize, probably a stand-in for Slade while he was off doing who knew what.

  “Let’s get started,” I said. “We are going to set a trap for Baron. We’ve been reacting to him and we need to plan ahead because whatever he has planned has a time limit.”

  “How do you suggest we do this?” Leon asked.

  “Use me as bait.” No one said anything and just looked at me, so I continued. “He wants me. He came to my home this afternoon with a whole lot of backup, hoping to get his hands on me. If I hadn’t reinforced the wards the witches put up, they would have broken through. I know I’m good, but even I know I wouldn’t be able to handle twenty of his elites on my own. He wants me and we are going to use that against him. It’s just a question of how.”

  The next hour or so passed discussing the possible ways to use me against Baron. Some ideas were impossible, others just plain stupid, a few were good ones, and a couple of them painful on my part. Landus and Leon broke out in a few arguments, but after I told them to rein it in, they did. They were being good boy scouts.

  I barely looked at Landus, though sometimes I could feel his eyes on me while someone explained why an idea was a good or bad one.

  “Enough,” I stood up, reaching my limit after Mage Thomas suggested an idea that was more likely to get me killed instead of Baron. “We need to end this before someone kills someone. Besides, by the sounds of it, we will need more help. Tonight, I’ll go back with Maura and see if we can get Cecil healed. Hopefully she’ll be able to get back on her feet quickly.”

  Maura nodded. “With Cecil, our chances increase dramatically. She’s a very powerful witch with great defense magic.”

  “Great.” I dismissed everyone and followed Maura out the door. I was done with this and the moment Baron was dead, I was gone.

  Chapter Eight

  I remember stalking my prey. My stomach was so empty, and I was so hungry, I thought the creature would hear my stomach howling for food. I remember jumping onto it and biting hard into its neck. My claw-like hands tore its throat out. I didn’t go hungry again for three days.

  —Nyssa’s Journal

  The witches were working overtime, making sure to brew the tea just right. I gave them more than they needed, but it still didn’t mean it would work. I spent more time with Cecil, filling her in on everything that had happened, reminding her to keep fighting, that she had to survive. I even told her about Landus, about what I was, about what most likely was going to happen to me.

  She didn’t move. She didn’t talk back. She just lay there, and my anger simmered with thoughts of destroying Baron’s existence.

  I had to keep my focus, to remind myself this was all for Cecil. Otherwise, I would scream and tear everything apart. I felt so broken.

  “Okay.” Maura came in with her coven sisters behind her. Sandriel held a cup with a sweet-smelling brew inside. I helped them prop Cecil up, cringing at the feel of her cold, rubbery skin. Skin that used to be so warm and soft but now felt so wrong.

  I watched with eagle eyes as they patiently and slowly gave the brew to Cecil, making sure she swallowed as much of it as she could.

  When they finished, we laid her back down and stepped back. All that was left was to watch for signs of her getting better, but only time would tell. I settled down in the seat that was now becoming so familiar.

  “Are you going to stay here with her?” Maura asked as the other witches left.

  I nodded, not needing to say anything else. She sighed and then left the room. I knew she wanted to talk to me but I couldn’t think about anything else but Cecil’s health.

  The next few hours were long and heart-pounding. My focus stayed on her chest, searching for changes in her shallow breathing, her skin for the color that should be coming back, her face for movement of waking up.

  Nothing.

  I waited and waited, wishing Landus was here because he would know what to do, how to comfort me. But I pushed him away. Made him believe I didn’t care when he had my heart in his hands the entire time.

  The witches came in and out, checking up on her every half an hour for changes. Every time they left the room, their expressions were grimmer. I ignored them because I needed to believe this would work. It had to.

  At some point I dozed off and when I jerked myself away and looked back at Cecil, I sobbed.

  I let out the tears that I’ve been holding back for a while now. Her warmth was back. Her chest rose and fell with steady, deep breaths. Her skin had some color back in it, not the pale sickly look, but healthy, or at least, healthier. And her face. Not her face, but her eyes. They were open and they were looking right at me. Full of life.

  “You look like shit,” she rasped.

  I sobbed a chuckle, wiping away the stupid tears before practically crawling into bed to get closer to her. Forcing myself to calm down, I settled on grabbing her hand so I didn’t hurt her accidentally. She felt like Cecil again. Warm.

  “You look even worse, Baby-cakes.”

  She snorted with a small, weak smile. “I always look like a million bucks.”

  I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Her eyes widened because we both knew I wasn’t one for giving comfort but I couldn’t hold back my feelings right now. “In my eyes, you are priceless.”

  I could tell she was in pain. She needed Maura or one of the others who could alleviate her pain. I still wasn’t willing to let her hand go yet. Apparently, she wasn’t ready either because she just squeezed my hand.

  “I heard everything.”

  “Everything, what?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe not everything, but enough. You went and found someone.”

  I smiled, ignoring the pain in my chest.

  “And then you fucked it up.”

  The truth in her words were a bit much and I winced.

  “Who would have thought you’d become so gullible. My Nyssa, gullible?” She shook her head. “That’s impossible. You need to suck it up and push him down, mount him, and make him listen to you.”

  Her words threw me and I laughed. I knew it. She would know exactly what to say.

  “It’s too late,” I finally said, calming down.

  “Not for something like this, it isn’t. It isn’t too late until he has the full picture and still says no. Not until you’re dead.”

  My eyes burned again, and I had to tell myself it was because Cecil was okay, not because of a certain shifter. I shook my head. “Too late.”

  “You are such a chicken shit. You’re aren’t my Nyssa. She’d never back down.”

  I just shrugged. “I have my reasons.”

  Cecil snorted. “Bullshit reasons.” She winced.

  I sighed, pulling away. “I’ll go get Maura. She’ll be relieved that you’re awake, and maybe Sandriel will have something for the pain.”

  “That’ll be nice.”

  I nodded and stood up, going over to the door. Looking back and see that she was still awake, I smiled. “I’m glad you’re finally awake. And also, you’re fucking grounded for nearly dying on me. Indefinitely.”

  She tried to laugh, which only turned into moaning from the pain. “I am an adult. I don’t get grounded.”

  “We agreed a long time ago that I’m a whole hell of a lot older than you, which means you are mine to take care of and so, for your safety and for the health of my heart, you are grounded. Get used to it, Baby-cakes.”

  She muttere
d something under her breath before speaking. “Will you just go get Maura already?”

  I nodded and left the room, moving swiftly, not wanting to leave Cecil alone longer than necessary. I was afraid that when I went back into that room, she would be dead or in a coma again.

  I quickly searched for Maura and found her in the kitchen, cleaning the counters. Early morning light filtered through the windows.

  Has it really been that long already? I shook my head and focused on my tasks.

  “She’s awake. Cecil is awake,” I said, swallowing the relief that poured through me. Saying the words out loud made the words so real.

  Maura’s head snapped up, her eyes going big. She put down the washcloth and flew past me. I followed slowly behind and by the time I got back to the room, Cecil was surrounded by her coven, who were all smiling, laughing, and crying, happy to see her up and recovering.

  Cecil was okay. She was awake.

  ~*~

  “When was the last time you ate?” Cecil’s narrowed eyes dug into me accusingly.

  “Ate? What is that concept? I’ve never heard of it before.”

  Cecil scowled. She was propped up against the headboard with a massive pile of pillows behind her. She had some more color in her skin, and her wounds were healing exceptionally well. Witches didn’t have fast healing, but they had the spells to make up for it. Surrounding Cecil’s bed was a circle etched into the floorboards and foreign symbols written in chalk against the walls. I could feel the nipping of magic in the air as it did its job. In the next couple of hours, she’d be able to move on her own.

  “Go eat,” she said.

  “I’m not hungry.”

  Cecil glared at me and I smiled back innocently. Being stuck in bed meant she couldn’t do shit. Her eyes narrowed at my smug expression because she knew it too.

  “When I’m able to move again, I’m going to shove food down your throat so you better wipe that expression off your face.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “I missed your face so fucking much, Cecil. You can do whatever the hell you want to me as long as you’re okay.”

  Her face softened. “Were you that worried about me?”

  I rubbed at my hair. “Cecil,” I grabbed her hand. “You are the only person on Terra Firma that I care about. The only one. You are my... weakness.” I shuddered at the fact that I even admitted it. “You know I don’t do relationships and people, but you managed to worm your cherubic face into my life, and I would destroy the world if it is needed to keep you alive and well. You are not allowed to die.”

  She stared at me for a few moments, taking in my words and feeling the truth in it. Hell, I was willing to die for it.

  She pulled me closer until I was sitting on the side of the bed. Her warm hands lifted to my face and she pulled me closer, kissing my forehead. “I love you too, Nyssa,” she whispered, and I shuddered at her words.

  Love.

  “I’ve loved you since the moment I dragged your ass out of the Woodlands. I promise you won’t lose me. Not yet. It is not my time, and I’ll fight Heaven and Hell to stay here with you.”

  I leaned into her warm touch and nodded.

  Love.

  If I had a sister or a mother, would this be the feeling they gave me?

  She pulled away and broke out into a massive grin. “Now go away and eat. You’re not allowed back until you have a full stomach. I can smell Maura’s cooking all the way from here. And when you’re done, bring me back something.”

  Laughing, I stood up. “Fine, I will.”

  “Good girl.”

  I rolled my eyes but left the room and went into the kitchen. Cecil was right about one thing, whatever Maura was cooking smelled amazing.

  Two bowls were sitting on the counter and I smiled, knowing Maura had put the soup off to the side for us.

  Claiming a bowl and spoon as mine, I hopped up onto a stool and ate slowly. I would down this bowl in seconds if it meant I could be back with Cecil. I wasn’t ready to have her out of my sight just yet. But I knew Cecil and if I came back too soon, she wouldn’t believe me if I said I ate and probably give me a good wallop with her magic.

  Chapter Nine

  I remember an old, wrinkled man in bed. I spent every second at his side as he told me stories and showed me the world. I remember laughing and crying, bombarding him with requests for more. I wanted the knowledge in his head. He died before he could share it all.

  —Nyssa’s Journal

  “Enough, Nyssa, you need to leave. Go out and give me some space.”

  “But Cecil—”

  “No buts. I get it.” She sighed. “I really do. I almost died and it ramped up your instincts. Now you’re having trouble believing that everything is okay, that I’m okay. You think that if you aren’t around, then I’m in danger.” She patted my hand and gave me a gentle smile. “I am okay. I am safe. You don’t need to smother me.”

  “I’m not smothering you.”

  “You are.”

  “No, I’m just making sure they don’t get to you again. They got into here before and they can do it again.”

  “Nyssa.” My name came out as a sharp command and I knew I was pushing her but... I just couldn’t.

  Every cell in my body was screaming to stay within five feet of her. That she was still hurt and weak. That she needed me to protect her. I couldn’t lose her warmth. It was all I had left at this point. I was slowly unraveling and going with my instincts was keeping me together.

  “Nyssa,” she said softly this time. “I need space. I need to process what has happened to me and I can’t do that with you here. Go out. Go find this bastard so we can make him pay for what he’s done. Please. For me.”

  I examined her. She did look better, about seventy percent better. She was warm. Her skin held her soft glow. Her eyes were open and clear of pain, blinking up at me, begging.

  I nodded. Too bad my feet wouldn’t move.

  “Nyssa,” she practically growled as a final warning.

  “Okay,” I raised my hands up. “I’m going.”

  Slowly, I forced each foot to take a step away from Cecil. The further I moved away from her, the harder it was. I had to use all my strength and willpower to open the door and walk out. After the door closed behind me, I let out a breath and leaned against the door, staring down at the floor.

  “Why are you frowning at the floor?” Maura asked, walking toward me in the hallway. “Did it offend you somehow?”

  “Cecil wants some ‘me’ time.”

  “Ah, I see.” Maura pursed her lips as she thought about something and then coming to a decision. “Can we talk for a few moments? I have something you might want to read over.”

  I nodded and followed behind as she turned around and headed toward her office. Her office was messier than the last time I saw it. Papers were strewn all over the place with stacks of books piled on the desk and another on the floor next to it.

  She motioned to one of the chairs and I sat down as she settled in her own.

  “Have you thought more about the possibility of who you are?”

  I ignored the stab of pain in my chest and nodded. “When I read those passages, it felt right.”

  “Felt right?”

  “Yeah. My memories may be scrambled and fragmented, all out of order, but the passages reminded me of something a woman said to me about love and mates. I think the woman was my mother but I don’t have enough memories to verify that. She told me that even though mates were a risk, it was one worthy to take. There are also some moments when I’ve done similar things as the phoenix that was talked about in the journal.”

  “Like when you destroyed my living room.”

  “Yes, like that.”

  She shuffled some papers around and pulled out a book.

  “I came across this book in our library and thought it was best you have it. It’s about legends, folklore, stories passed on from storyteller to storyteller. Some of them are in relation to the phoenix.
I marked the passages for you. Read them and see if you feel the truth in them.”

  She held the book out and I reached over and grabbed it from her. My eyes were drawn to the old leather binding with crinkles throughout the simple dark covering. Even the pages inside were old, the paper yellow with age.

  “You really believe I’m one of them?”

  She pursed her lips. “It is a strong possibility. Not many can do what you do. No one is as sensitive to energy the way you are and able to control it like you can. And those gates. Landus told me you’re more sensitive than Slade’s sister.”

  “You talked to Landus about this?” The news made my chest ache.

  “Research, Nyssa. It is what I do best. I learned to ask questions, to see what others do not see in books and artifacts.”

  I stood up, gripping the book tightly to myself. It was definitely old. I flipped it open. At least it was written in English.

  “This book was written by a very old storyteller. She spent most of her life traveling Terra Firma, learning new stories and telling old ones. Before she passed, she wrote them down for future generations. Storytellers usually do not write them down, it is not how they work. But she once told someone that she felt like she needed to. She knew times were changing and so were the way stories were spreading. She did not want to lose stories due to stubborn traditions.”

  “She sounds like a smart lady.”

  Maura smiled. “Yes, she was.”

  “Thank you,” I said and left the room and Maura to her own thoughts.

  I went out to my car, glad Slade was nice enough to drop it off for me, and put the book onto the seat. I pulled out, gripping the wheel and forcing myself to put distance between Cecil and me. She wanted space. I needed to respect that.

  ~*~

  I headed back to my apartment, checking all the wards and finding nothing wrong with them. Baron hadn’t tried to break through since I left.

  Timing it just right, I changed into workout clothes and opened the door just as Slade was about to knock.

  “Well, hello there,” I purred, looking him over. He was dressed to go for a run too. Since all this Baron shit started, we hadn’t been able to do our normal routine.