James (Members From Money Book 34)

by Katie Dowe

  “I'm assuming that it will be televised?”

  He nodded.

  “So whether I go or not I'll be seeing it.”

  He pulled away from her and got off the bed. She watched as he reached for the robe and put it on. “I'm not a violent person,” he told her tightly. “You're going to see me as one if you come and you might look at me differently.”

  Kennedy remembered what his sister had said at the party a few months ago. He would do anything to shield her, even stop being who he was and that broke her heart.

  “Come here,” she said softly.

  He hesitated and she stretched out a hand for him to take. “Please.”

  He took it and climbed onto the bed next to her. “I want you to stop it.”

  “Stop what?”

  “I want you to stop treating me like a piece of finely spun glass, James. I admit that it was my fault. I was fragile and so caught up in my own stuff that I totally leaned on you and you had to be the strong one for both of us. I know the type of man you are now James, and I also know that you would never lift a finger to hurt me.”

  “Then why won’t you marry me?” he asked her suddenly.

  “What?” She stared at him.

  He smiled at her grimly and released her hand to climb off the bed. “I stand around waiting for you to realize that I'm in love with you. I've stopped waiting to hear the words come out of your mouth. I walk around carefully so as not to do anything to hurt you. I want to marry you and have a life with you Kennedy, and you're satisfied with us just seeing each other.”

  “I need time—”

  “How much?”

  “What?’

  “How much time do you need?” he asked her tightly.

  “I don’t know!” she cried. “I want to be sure—” She stopped at the look of despair on his handsome face.

  “You want to be sure about me before you commit. So how much time will that take? A year? Two years maybe? How much time Kennedy?”

  She clasped her hands together as she looked at him. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

  “Okay.” his face closed up and he turned to leave.

  “Where are you going?”

  He turned back to her. “To sleep in one of the other rooms. You're right Kennedy. I have been bending over backwards to make you comfortable, to make you realize that I'm not him, to make you realize that I would rather die than hurt you. But it's not enough and I don’t know what will be enough. I want to marry you and have children with you. I've been through hell when I was growing up, with a father who was a bully, and I am determined not to be that way. I love you so much that I cannot breathe—“ He stopped and took a deep breath. “Every single day I die a little wondering if today is the day you're going to decide that this isn't working and leave me. I cannot do this anymore.”

  Kennedy felt fear pierce her. “What do you mean?”

  “It means that until you decide what you want I can't see you anymore.”

  “You're leaving me?” she asked him incredulously.

  He smiled wistfully at that. “That you could ask me that question only shows that you have no confidence in me or what I feel for you. I can't leave you, as you put it Kennedy, because my entire being belongs to you. I'm just giving you space to find out what you really want. I've been making all the moves. It’s your turn now.” She sat on the bed and stared as he walked out of the room. She should run to him. She should run to him and tell him that she might be in love with him and he should wait for her to decide on the marriage part of it. She'd told him about her dad and him leaving them. She should remind him about that. But he was right. She needed time to figure out what she really wanted.

  *****

  “You look down in the dumps,” Markeeta commented as she came in with a cup of hot chocolate. “You and billionaire boyfriend had a fight?”

  “It has to have something to do with James?” Kennedy asked as she accepted the cup.

  “What else could there be? The store is doing exceptionally well, thanks mainly to the fact that my partner has been seen on the arms of a handsome billionaire! So what happened?” Markeeta asked as she sat on one of the chairs.

  Kennedy sighed and wrapped her hands around the cup. “We had a fight.”

  Markeeta sat up suddenly. “Don’t tell me he put his hands on you?”

  “What? No!”

  “Oh,” Markeeta breathed a sigh of relief. “I would hate to think that my assumption of him was wrong.”

  “What assumption?”

  “I've seen the way that man looks at you Ken, he worships the ground you walk on and even though he tries to hide it he's not very successful.”

  Kennedy looked down into her cup moodily. “I'm such an idiot,” she whispered.

  “What happened?’

  “He wants to marry me.”

  “The bastard!” Markeeta said with a straight face.

  Kennedy gave her a wry look. “I'm all confused and mixed up about everything right now. I want to let go and be free to love him but I keep thinking about my dad and the way he left us. I made a bad decision when I met Conway and an even worse one when I stayed with him in spite of the fact that he abused me. I keep asking myself what if after I marry James I find out that I've made a mistake?”

  Markeeta stared at her in obvious surprise. “That man is certainly not your dad or even that bastard Conway! How can you not see that?”

  “I don’t know,” she said miserably. “He's given me an ultimatum.”

  “Honey, can you blame him?” Markeeta asked gently. “He's given you everything and all you've given him are crumbs.”

  *****

  He wasn't at class when she got there that evening. She'd gotten so used to him calling her during the day to check up on her that she'd kept staring at her phone and wondering why it didn't ring and why he hadn't called her. He'd left before her that morning. She'd gotten up after very little sleep to find that he was gone. Usually they had breakfast together and left together. She'd wondered if she should pack her stuff up and leave and decided to take only the things he hadn't bought for her. She'd left the designer clothes and jewelry that he'd bought her over the months and taken the stuff she'd brought there. She kept looking at the front of the room expecting to see him there.

  She was sitting at her usual table and waiting for the rest of the women to leave. Now, more than ever, she didn't want to have a conversation.

  She'd just picked up her purse and was heading for the door when Julia spoke to her. “I knew you were going to break him.”

  “Pardon?” She stopped and turned around.

  “You broke my brother, Kennedy, and I somehow knew that would happen.” The woman wrapped her long black hair around and pinned it up. “I saw him at the office and he's trying to do the best out there but I could see that something was very different. I asked him what was wrong and he refuses to tell me. But I knew it had something to do with you.”

  “It’s between your brother and me,” Kennedy told her.

  “Let me guess: He asked you to marry him and you turned him down. He told you he loves you but of course poor Kennedy, who has been abused, wants to continue to feel sorry for herself and drag my brother down with her.”

  “How dare you!” Kennedy said, her eyes flashing.

  “I dare because he's my brother and he's been there for me so many times. I wanted to tell him that you weren't worth fighting for but I had a feeling that he wouldn't listen. He's a damned good man Kennedy, and you're never going to find another one like him. All his life he's been putting people before him and that's become second nature to him. You're the first person to make him open up and feel again and I felt hopeful that you would return the feeling and see for yourself how sweet and gentle he was. Our father tried to break him and take that from him but he couldn't do it. James maintained that in spite of the horrible childhood he had. He loves you so much but he's not going to come crawling back to you. He has too much pride. So you bet
ter fix him or you'll answer to me.”

  She left Kennedy standing there, rooted to the spot.

  *****

  “What’s wrong with me?” Kennedy asked as she paced the length of the small living room with the wine glass in her hand.

  “Besides being an idiot?” Joan asked her mildly as she sipped her wine.

  Kennedy sent her a dirty look. “You're supposed to be supporting me.”

  “I am supporting you!” Joan put her glass down. “Look honey, you've been through a very rough past and it's colored your view of relationships. Not to mention that our dad left us and went away. It's bound to have an effect on the way you look at things.”

  “He went through worse!” Kennedy told her about James’ childhood.

  “Oh crap!” Joan stared at her sister. “That was really terrible.”

  “And yet he hasn't let it stop him from loving me and wanting a relationship. So what's wrong with me?”

  “I think you're afraid.”

  “I am afraid! I keep wondering if things will one day change between us.”

  “Do you think he'll abuse you?”

  “No,” she said with firmness that she was confident of. “He could never be that person.”

  “Then what?”

  “I made him put me first. I played the wounded person and he put me first. I never realized that I was doing it and I can't stop it now. He hides what he's feeling and can't be himself because he's afraid that he'll hurt me. I have no idea how to change that.”

  “Do you love him?”

  Kennedy stopped pacing and stared at her sister. “I love talking to him. I love the way I feel around him. When he makes love to me—” She closed her eyes and shivered a little. “I cannot describe it to you but when I'm with him I feel safe and wonderful and—”

  “You're in love with him,” Joan interrupted her quietly.

  Kennedy stared at her with a tiny frown and then came and plopped down next to her. “I'm in love with him.”

  “So what’s stopping you from telling him?”

  “I have to do this right. He's hurting because of me so I have to do this right. I have to show him that I'm not afraid of who he is.”

  “How?”

  “He has an event at the club on Saturday. I'm going there and I'm going to watch him fight and show him that I'm not the fragile flower he needs to protect every step of the way.”

  “How are you going to get into that club? And how are you going to get there?”

  “I have friends in high places,” she said smugly.

  *****

  He stopped in the doorway of his bedroom. He'd left her this morning sleeping. He'd crept into the room and seen her huddled under the sheets with her hands folded beneath her cheek. He'd stood there for a long time like a love struck boy and had wanted to crawl into bed with her and tell her that he didn't care what she decided, that he would stay with her whatever the cost. But he loved her, and loving her meant that he was susceptible to every facet of her emotions. He wanted everything because he'd given her everything. It felt strange to him to feel this way and he was vulnerable because of it. He walked in and turned the lights on. He opened the drawers and noticed that she'd taken the clothes she'd brought over and left the ones he'd bought her. He sat on the bed heavily and put his head in his hands. He'd come on too strong and now he had lost her.

  *****

  “Of course I can get you in darling!” Leesa told her graciously. “Why don’t you come and stay with me and we'll travel together?”

  “I don’t want to impose—”

  “Nonsense!” she retorted. “Very soon you'll be one of us. You can fly over on Friday and spend the night and the day with us. Our children are away at school so we have this big old place to ourselves and we can get to know each other. I'll book the flight right now.”

  “No you don’t have to—”

  “Already done, darling,” she said with a laugh. “As soon as you get to know me you'll realize that I'm not a woman who takes no for an answer.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You are at it again,” Bradley commented as he came up behind her the minute she hung up the phone.

  “I don’t know what you're talking about,” Leesa said airily as she leaned back against him in contentment.

  “Matchmaking.” He dropped a kiss on her curly head. “What am I going to do with you?”

  She turned into his arms and laced her fingers around his neck, her expression soft with love. There was never a day that passed when she didn't love him. Even when they were fighting! “You know what to do with me,” she murmured softly, noting the curve of his strong jaw and the amazing eyes. “I'm happy. There isn't a year that passes by that I spend with you when I'm not happy. Even through the difficulties, the ill health, the children being children and the ups and downs of the business. I'm happy and it's not because of this big, lovely mansion or the money that we have, it's because of you and I want other people to have what I have. So, if I have to interfere then so be it.”

  He wrapped his arms around her tight. “I am happy,” he told her huskily. “You are the love of my life and I shudder to think of losing you. I'm happy because you came into my life and changed it for the better. I'm happy because of you, woman!’

  “Let’s go and show each other how happy we both are,” she whispered.

  “Gladly,” he lifted her up and took them to their bed.

  *****

  Kennedy was given the utmost welcome. She was met at the airport by a driver who whisked her off to one of the most beautiful mansions she'd ever seen. She'd met Leesa and several others at functions and had hit it off very well with them. The woman exuded confidence and charm that had Kennedy relaxing. Her handsome husband clearly doted on her and caused a pang in Kennedy’s heart as she thought of James. He ran off as soon as they had dinner, leaving the two women in the elegant sitting room that was a part of the bedroom suite that Kennedy had been given for the visit. “Okay darling, now that my husband's gone we can talk freely.” She handed Kennedy a glass of champagne and, wrapping the beautiful black silk robe around her scanty night wear, she sat across from her. Kennedy had seen the pictures scattered around the many rooms of the couple and their beautiful children and realized that it wasn't just for optics...they were very happy! “I know that there was something about you being abused by a former boyfriend. That’s the thing you have to put up with when you're dating a very rich man. Reporters tend to dig into your past. I'm used to it because I've been in front of the camera for most of my life but I have a feeling that it's not something you like.”

  Kennedy twirled the stem of the glass. “No. That's one of the reasons I never wanted our relationship to go public.”

  “You have nothing to be ashamed of darling,” Leesa said sympathetically. “I've dealt with a lot of charities over the years. We get involved in the various concerns around us, not only because we have the resources to do so but because we really care. A number of the wives have been through traumas of their own so they can relate. The thing to do about your past is to put it out there and not let it hold you prisoner.”

  “James went through a lot himself,” Kennedy said quietly, not sure how much she should tell Leesa.

  “I know a little about it, but he's always been a very private person.”

  “This fight, what's all about?”

  “Raising money for needy children. Every September we make it our point of duty to raise money for children going to high schools and college. There are various matches people pay money to see and everything goes to charity. Sometimes we have fashion shows and many different things. We're very innovative and are determined to change the world one charity at a time. James is very good at what he does darling, and we all use what we're good at to make money for the cause.”

  “He was afraid to invite me because he doesn't want me to see him in that light,” Kennedy admitted.

  “Ah, I see,” Leesa nodded with understanding. �
�He wants to keep you protected from that part of him.”

  Kennedy nodded. “That’s what started the argument. I'm going to show him that I can handle anything that has to do with him.”

  Leesa looked at her in understanding. “You love him.”

  “He loved me first and he's been trying to get me to follow suit without saying it to me. I have to show him that I'm ready.”

  Chapter 9

  It was an entire day of various events but the fight was scheduled for the evening. People were flying in from all over the world to see it and they were expecting a huge turnout. Every year since it had started three years ago it had gotten bigger, and this year was the biggest yet. It should have been held outdoors with the ring set up on one of the lush lawns but it had rained earlier and was supposed to rain for the evening as well. So, one of the large conference rooms had been set up. Jeremy, the owner of the club, made sure everything was in place.

  The show was set to start at eight and by seven the seats were starting to fill up in the large conference room. The ring stretched from one corner of the room to the other and was on a raised dais. Kennedy hadn't heard from James and she felt the ache inside her heart as she realized how much she missed him. Leesa was determined that they make a grand entrance when the show was just about to start and also insisted that Kennedy wear something of hers. “I brought my own stuff,” Kennedy had protested.

  “I'm sure you did but I have a closet that stretches from here to I cannot even tell you where and I would like to think that I have the perfect outfit.” She'd taken out an electric blue all-in-one suit that had a stunning jeweled neckline and tie at the neck. When Kennedy had tried it on and stood in front of the mirror she'd been stunned at the transformation. A stylist had come in to do her hair and it was brushed to one side and fell in waves over one shoulder. He'd also made up her face and Kennedy stared at herself in amazement. “Black strappy sandals and it's a good thing we wear the same size shoes.” She'd handed Kennedy a thin-heeled Romano original.

  “I can’t accept this,” Kennedy had said.