A Child's Wish

by Tara Taylor Quinn

  She nodded. She wanted to go home.

  “Not good enough,” Don said. He turned to Kelsey. “When you took that stuff to Kenny, it was against the law,” he said. “If you say a word about any of this to anyone—your father, even your friends—you’ll get arrested and they’ll put you in jail.”

  A little more potty trickled out. She could feel it on her leg inside her jeans.

  “Mommy?” She glanced at her mom and wanted to die when, after a minute of watching Don, her mother nodded.

  She was going to jail. Kelsey couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t go there. Daddy wouldn’t be able to see her or take care of her.

  “Are kid jails the same as big-people jails?” she asked, starting to cry.

  “Now see what you’ve done,” Mom said, pulling Kelsey into her arms and hugging her hard. Kelsey was glad about that. If her mom held her tight enough, they’d never be able to do anything bad to her. “No, sweetie, they aren’t the same,” she said. “But you aren’t going there.”

  Don came closer, Kelsey could hear his feet on the garage floor, and she could smell him, too. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything,” he said, his voice soft and gentle. He knelt down and turned Kelsey around so she had to see him.

  She might throw up and wet her pants the rest of the way, too.

  “Your mom and I know what to do,” he told Kelsey. “We’re good at this, and we’ll make sure you don’t get in trouble or get hurt,” he said. “But you have to promise you won’t say a word about any of this to anyone, because we don’t know who else we can trust. Okay?”

  Kelsey nodded, squeezing her legs harder.

  “Promise?”

  “Do you promise I won’t get in trouble?”

  “I swear it,” he said, crossing his heart.

  “Okay. Now can I go home?”

  “You want a snack first?” Mom asked.

  MEREDITH LEFT SCHOOL almost as soon as her students were gone on Friday afternoon. She had an errand to run. She’d told herself she wouldn’t. Had decided to lie low, ignore her intuition for once. She had her job. As far as she knew, Mark had no intention of starting procedures to terminate her. She’d been served with no written statement to that effect.

  She’d worn black and white again, to remind herself to stay away from the shades of gray that dominated her life—leaving no room for what-ifs.

  And black slacks, white blouse, black-and-white pumps and all, here she was in her Mustang, heading toward the secluded neighborhood of expensive custom-built homes where Ruth Barnett lived.

  The heavy maroon-colored door opened a crack after her first ring of the doorbell.

  “Mrs. Barnett?”

  “Ms. Foster?” The woman sounded more frightened than pleased to see her.

  “May I come in? Just for a second.”

  “I…uh…don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “I know. I don’t, either,” Meredith said honestly. “But I’m here anyway. No one was behind me as I pulled in, and I parked my car around back. I’d really like just a couple of minutes with you.”

  Another second passed and then the door opened enough to let her in. Ruth Barnett locked the dead bolt behind her.

  “Is Tommy here?”

  “Upstairs,” his mother said, giving a jerky nod over her shoulder. “In his room playing a computer game. He’s allowed to play them all he wants on Fridays.”

  “But not during the week, huh?” Meredith followed the woman through a formal living room to a much more comfortable-feeling room decorated in shades of soft rose.

  “Not until his homework’s done.”

  It was a good plan. One Meredith wished more of her parents would implement.

  “This is lovely,” she said, taking a seat on the edge of the sofa.

  “Thanks.” Ruth Barnett’s smile was more genuine as she looked over her surroundings. “I’m hoping to open my own business soon.”

  “You do interior decorating?”

  The woman nodded, her burgundy slacks and jacket a perfect complement to the chair on which she sat. “I got my degree last year, but Larry wouldn’t hear of me going to work. He thought it made him look bad.”

  “Was that before or after he filed for divorce?”

  “He didn’t file,” she said softly, glancing down. “I did.”

  That wasn’t as much of a surprise as it could have been. She waited, hoping the woman would say more. But when she didn’t, Meredith said, “According to the papers, he did.”

  “He wanted it that way.”

  Of course he did. Couldn’t have people thinking he was the one who’d been left behind. An object of pity. Or a bad husband.

  “Why did you allow it?”

  “Because I wanted my freedom enough to let him spin the details however he wanted.”

  Meredith had said she was only going to stay a minute. “How are you?” she asked, her voice warm and compassionate. In another life, another time, she and Ruth Barnett might have been friends.

  “Trying to concentrate on the future.”

  Mrs. Barnett was prevaricating.

  “You know about tomorrow’s show, don’t you?”

  The woman nodded, her hair as stylish as her clothes.

  “But you aren’t going to do anything about it.”

  “What can I do?” she asked. “Larry quit listening to my pleas long ago.”

  “You could call the station, tell them the truth.”

  Ruth Barnett paled. “No, I can’t do that.”

  She hadn’t expected her to. Not really. But she’d had to try.

  “He hit you, didn’t he, Ruth?”

  The woman glanced out the window.

  “Often?”

  She shook her head.

  “Enough to scare you.”

  “Not really,” the woman said, her eyes moist, yet brimming with strength as she glanced back at Meredith. “Though I’m sure he thinks so.”

  “Then why don’t you say something? Do something? Why do you let him hold you prisoner to his lies?”

  “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be married to a lawyer?” she asked.

  Meredith paused, waited for calm. “No,” she said, then.

  “He’s not only a master debater, but he can take the smallest piece of truth and twist it around so that it’s completely unrecognizable, but still prove that it isn’t a lie.”

  Meredith’s stomach tightened. She felt trapped and panicky. She understood what Tommy’s mother was saying.

  “Add to that the fact that he’s well known around here and has a great deal of influence…”

  “So no matter what you say, he’ll distort facts until they point right back at you,” Meredith finished.

  “Yes.”

  “Why don’t you leave?”

  Meredith knew the answer as soon as she asked. “Tommy,” she said in chorus with his mother.

  Ruth Barnett’s mouth was distorted with bitterness. “There’s no way I’ll be able to convince any judge in this county to give me full custody of my boy. And while I might not be afraid of Larry’s attempts to hurt me, I am scared to death of what he’ll do to our son.”

  “Of what he is doing to your son,” Meredith said now, completely certain of what she said.

  “I still hope you’re wrong,” Ruth said, her gaze forthright. “But in my heart I know that you aren’t. I also know that if I don’t play along with Larry, if I try to fight him at this point, Tommy will be the one who’ll lose. At least while I play dumb and stay quiet, I have access to his home and when Tommy’s there I can see and speak with Tommy whenever I choose.”

  “I hope that will be enough,” Meredith replied, fairly certain that it wouldn’t be.

  “I do, too.” The other woman’s eyes watered. “You have no idea how grateful I am to you for what you did,” she said, the words no louder than a whisper. “And I can’t tell you how guilty I feel, every single day, for what he’s doing to you because of it.”

&
nbsp; “I only did my job.”

  Mrs. Barnett shook her head, and her tears ran slowly down her cheeks. “Teachers don’t stick their noses out like that. They go to the school administration if they suspect something, maybe. But more than that, no other teacher at Lincoln Elementary was even aware that Tommy was having problems—including the school counselor. I’d really hoped she’d be able to help us.”

  “So you knew before I came to you.”

  “I knew he was unhappy. At first, like everyone else, I was hoping it was an adjustment period and it would pass, but it’d been a year and didn’t seem to be getting any better. I talked to Tommy several times about his father and me, asked him about his visits, his unhappiness, but he won’t ever tell me anything. I didn’t know what to think. You changed that. I’m taking Tommy privately to see a counselor now, so if there is a problem hopefully it will be brought to light. You’re a special woman, Ms. Foster. I don’t know how you knew about Tommy, but I thank God every day that you did.”

  As Meredith had thanked him for her gift. These days she’d made a tentative truce with herself to let it come if it would. “I wish I could’ve done more,” she told the other woman.

  “You’ve put Larry Barnett on warning. And because of his own quick temper and inability to back down or let go, it’s become a very public warning. Even if everyone believes him now and not you, if Tommy shows up with bruises or shows signs of emotional damage there are going to be doubts. You could very well have saved my son’s life.”

  “For now.”

  The woman nodded. “And for that, your life is being turned upside down.”

  Meredith stood. “I still have my job,” she said. “My home, my friends.” Friend. Though she had yet to connect with Susan since her breakup with Mark on Wednesday, except through voice mail.

  Ruth Barnett, walking with her toward the door, reached for Meredith’s hand and pulled her to a halt just inside the living room. “You know that he won’t be stopped, don’t you? The news, the paper, the call for your resignation, didn’t work, so he’s moving on to talk radio. If that doesn’t do you in, he’ll still keep trying. If there’s one thing I know for certain about my ex-husband, Ms. Foster, it’s that he will not lose.”

  “He’s never fought with me before.” Meredith didn’t plan the words. They just slid out. With complete calm.

  She hoped to God she knew what she was talking about.

  Ruth Barnett looked at her for a moment longer, nodded and started to smile. “I hope you’re right.”

  “For Tommy’s sake, so do I.”

  “YOU COULD’VE GONE at the house,” her mom said when Kelsey climbed back in the car after using the restroom at the first gas station they came to. Her panties were wet and her jeans, too, a little bit, but she’d managed to hold most of it in.

  “I know,” Kelsey told her. “I didn’t want to be late and I was sure I could hold it.”

  Her mom glanced over at her and Kelsey was afraid she would figure out she was lying, but she didn’t say anything. Her eyes were a lot better now, wide awake.

  Even when Meredith was half-asleep, she could tell if Kelsey was hiding something.

  But Kelsey didn’t want to think about Meredith. Dad said they wouldn’t be seeing as much of her, anyway, since he and Susan had broken up.

  They got to the bushes where Kelsey had to get out. She undid her seat belt as soon as they turned the corner so she could leave quick, but when her mom slowed down by the curb she grabbed Kelsey’s arm.

  “You still want to see me, Kelse?”

  Kelsey nodded. She did. A lot. She loved her mom. She’d get over being scared, just like she had when Mom left. And when she lost her teddy bear, Bangles, and had to go to sleep without him.

  Mom smiled and it looked like she might cry. “I’m glad,” she said, her lips kind of shaky and she touched Kelsey’s face, making her feel even better than going to the bathroom had. “Because you’re the most important person in the world to me. You know that, don’t you?”

  Kelsey wanted to know it. Worse than just about anything. “Yeah.”

  She hoped her mom was going to hug her, but she reached under the car seat, instead, and brought out a little brown bag like the other two Kelsey had given to Kenny.

  Kelsey drew back, staring at that bag.

  “I need you to take this to Kenny on Monday, honey,” she said.

  She couldn’t stop looking at that bag. She didn’t mind seeing Kenny. To tell him he might be in trouble. She shook her head—hard.

  “I really need you to,” Mom said, her voice still soft and not mad.

  Kelsey couldn’t touch that bag. She wasn’t putting it in her backpack or carrying it home. It would be there all weekend and she could go to jail because of it.

  She might need to throw up instead of eat. What would kid jail be like? She wished she could talk to Josie about this, but she was afraid. Don said no one.

  “What’s that stuff in the garage for?” She didn’t care, but she had a feeling it had to do with all of this.

  “It’s just like we said, honey,” Mom smiled at her. “Don likes to do experiments. He was really into science when he was in school, but his parents couldn’t afford to send him to college so he became a truck driver.”

  “Then why can’t I tell about it?”

  “Because he uses some stuff for his experiments that you aren’t supposed to bring inside houses. You’re only supposed to use them in labs, but since he’s not in school and didn’t go to college he’s not allowed in one of those. Now take this and run before you’re late.”

  Kelsey stared at the bag again.

  “I don’t want to get in trouble.”

  “The only way that will happen is if you don’t take this bag,” Mom said. “I know it sounds bad, Kelse, but it really isn’t. Don’s a good guy and so are his friends. It’s just like you and me seeing each other right now—sometimes you have to do things backward, but they’re still good things.”

  She wasn’t taking that bag.

  “There’s no way anyone will know what you’re doing unless you tell them.”

  “What if Dad finds it?”

  “Does your father go through your backpack?” Mom asked, sounding like she might get mad.

  “No!” Kelsey quickly assured her. She didn’t want Mom and Dad to fight.

  “Then just make sure that you don’t take it out of there and it’ll be safe.”

  Yes, but…

  “You trust me, don’t you, Kelse?”

  Kelsey nodded.

  “You see, if you don’t take this to Kenny, he might be so upset he’d tell on you, and then you would get found out.”

  How could he tell on her unless he told on himself, too? Unless he just said that he’d seen her on the junior high side of the bushes and that she’d talked to him. That would get her in trouble without anyone even knowing about the bag.

  But Kenny wouldn’t do that to her. Would he?

  It was all so hard and confusing. And she was going to be in big trouble if she was late.

  “There’s another problem,” Mom said, running her fingers through Kelsey’s ponytail. “If Kenny tells, I might get in trouble, too. Only my trouble would be much, much worse than yours.”

  Kelsey stared at her mom, shocked. She wasn’t the only one in trouble?

  “Why?”

  “Because I gave the bag to you and I’m an adult. I could go to real jail and then there’s no way we’d be able to see each other—not even on Fridays like we are now.”

  Frowning, Kelsey wanted to just take the bag and go. She also wanted not to take the bag and then go.

  “Why is it breaking the law to take Kenny his crystals?” she asked. “Is his dad so bad that he can’t have anything to do with him?”

  “Sort of,” Mom said. “Now just do as I told you,” she added, handing Kelsey the bag. “Put this in your backpack, take it to Kenny and don’t say a word.”

  Kelsey looked at her mom
a long time. Even with her hair a mess and no makeup she was pretty. Kelsey loved her so much.

  Her stomach didn’t feel good, but she grabbed the bag, shoved it in the side pocket of her backpack, kissed her mom goodbye and got out.

  If nothing else, at least she’d be seeing Kenny again.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  THE ANSWERING MACHINE picked up and Meredith disconnected the call, hanging the phone back in its holder on the wall. She was tired of speaking with her friend through answering machines. Susan wasn’t at the hospital—she knew, she’d called there, too. And her office had been closed for a couple of hours.

  She turned off the kitchen light and wandered through the house. Seven o’clock on a Friday evening and she was at a loss.

  Standing at the desk in her spare-bedroom office, she dialed again. And when the machine picked up, on a hunch, she hung up and hit redial. On the fourth try, she was rewarded with a click.

  “Hello.” Susan’s greeting wasn’t friendly.

  “It’s me.”

  “I know.” Her friend’s voice softened with guilt. “I saw you on caller ID.”

  “So you have been avoiding me.”

  “Not really.”

  Meredith waited.

  “Okay, maybe a little, but not entirely. I’ve had one hell of a week. Almost lost a patient last night—a little girl with a simple adenoid surgery who reacted to the anesthetic.”

  “Oh, Suze, I’m so sorry.” And then, after a moment, “She’s okay, though, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “But you aren’t.”

  “I just need a little time to trust myself again,” Susan said. “It scares me how close I came to saying yes when Mark asked me to marry him, simply because it was safe.”

  Meredith dropped down on her white quilt. “I thought you loved him.”

  “I think I do.” Susan sounded surprised. “Mark’s a wonderful guy. I’m just not in love with him.”

  She lay back on the bed, staring at the pattern of swirls on the ceiling. “Susan Gardner, you aren’t going to convince me the man didn’t turn you on.”

  “I’m not even going to try. How could he not? He’s gorgeous.”