The Best of Robert Bloch

by Robert Bloch

  "This is a nut, encased in an outer shell. Within is the seed, the kernel. The hard shell is our human consciousness. Once broken, the kernel can be reached, the seed liberated to sprout and grow, to spread through space and thrust beyond the stars."

  The Black Skelm twirled the spheroid in his wrinkled palm. "Shall we open the shell and partake?" he murmured. "No, it isn't like peyote, or your lysergic acid, either. I spent years searching for the seed, which indeed comes from the Tree of Knowledge. Once eaten, it will do more than merely expand and extend consciousness. Consciousness will be discarded, like the empty husk it is, and the soul will flourish. Flourish and soar beyond all being."

  He cracked the shell and dug within.

  "Here, will you share with me?"

  "But—why?"

  The Black Skelm sighed. "Because the human part of me is old, and afraid. It may be that I will not enjoy being God. It must, I think, be a lonely estate. When you came to me as a child I recognized a fellow-seeker, and I knew that I would wait for you to join me on the quest."

  Harvey stared. "This isn't just part of some crazy dream?"

  "It's all a crazy dream, you know that," said the Black Skelm, softly.

  "And if it works—suppose I want to turn back?"

  "There is no turning back, as you have learned. One can only go forward, through the mist called life and into the mist called death. Or one who dares can go beyond. It is your choice."

  "But why now?"

  "Why not? Does life, as you have seen it, appeal to you?"

  "No."

  "Do you look forward to death?"

  "No."

  "Then let us move on."

  The Black Skelm carefully broke the dried kernel in half and extended a portion to Harvey.

  "Place it on your tongue," he said. "Then swallow slowly."

  Harvey knew now that he was dreaming. He knew he was back in the bunk at Kurt's place, and there was nothing to fear—in a moment he'd awake. Meanwhile there was no harm in putting the insignificant morsel on his tongue, no harm in gripping the black man's shrivelled hand as the waves of sensation coursed through him.

  Because he was back at Kurt's place now, and as he swallowed that too was a dream and he was back in America in Arizona, he was back with Gilda, he was back with the bearded man in France, he was back at the universities, back at the theater watching that preposterous cartoon, back here again on the mountain-top meeting the Black Skelm for the first time. No, he was further back than that, he was a little boy in Mama's arms, he was crawling, he couldn't even crawl, he was kicking inside a warm darkness, he was only a speck of liquified life, he was nothing, he was—

  Instantly he leaped forward and upward. The plain faded away beneath him, faded out of focus. He had no eyes to see it with, but he needed no eyes. He was one with immensity and perceived everything. He knew he was still standing—somewhere—and still grasping the black man's hand with his own. But the hand was huge enough to balance a sun on its palm, yet insubstantial enough to feel no pain from its molten mass.

  Far below (yes, it was below, there was still space and dimension, immeasurably transfigured as his body had been transfigured) the wheeling planets moved in inexorable orbit.

  A voice that was not a voice, a mere beat observed in soundlessness, impinged upon his expanded awareness.

  "Behold the earth," it said. "A speck, a mite, an errant, inconsequential atom."

  Harvey—or that part which remembered Harvey—had a momentary awareness of the old theory of the world as a single cell in the bloodstream of a cosmic monster. But it was not a cell, he perceived, any more than he was now a monster. It was just a speck, as the voice had said.

  "Is this what God sees?" he asked.

  "I do not know, for I am not yet God. To be God is to act. And I cannot decide. Shall I become God through action?"

  "What action is possible?"

  "Only one. To destroy this earth. To rearrange the cosmic pattern by removing the atom from being."

  "Destroy? Why not save mankind?"

  "God cannot save mankind. This I now know. God is great and Man is small. If left alone, Man will destroy himself. We alone can be saved—by becoming one with God."

  "I dare not."

  "Why? Do you so love the race of Man after what you've seen? Do you love the cesspool in which he wallows, the devices with which he brings about the destruction of others and of himself?"

  "But I am a man."

  "No longer. You are in Limbo now. Not God, not human. There is no turning back. One must go forward."

  "I cannot." Harvey—or the greater being that stood between the stars—turned and faced the black, brooding face—an image of immensity, intangible yet limned and luminous in space.

  "Perhaps your life on earth was a sweeter one than mine. You did not see your people perish, and the old ways of nature vanish from the world. You did not skulk in a cave on a mountain-top for endless years, companioned by scavengers—nor feed, like them, on carrion corruption. Your skin was not black."

  "You hate the world."

  "I am above hate. And above love."

  "Pity, then? Compassion?"

  "For what? This insignificant speck, crawling with midges that will soon destroy it if left to their own devices?" The soundless voice thundered. "If there is pity, if there is compassion, let it be for one's self. I shall survive, in eternity. There will be other earths—"

  "No!"

  But the black, brooding face stared down and pursed its lips. Suddenly it blew, and spat. A cloud of ichor issued from the titanic, toothless maw. It spiralled, gathering speed and form as it fell, twisting into a tunnelling black cloud.

  The cloud encompassed the earth. The earth seemed to be sucked into the spiralling mass; its shell cracked and fire flared forth fitfully. But only for an instant. Then the spittle evaporated into nothingness and what it had encompassed was gone.

  Gone? It had never existed.

  Harvey—that which was Harvey now—turned and glanced into the great glowing face in the heavens beside him. But it too was gone. Not gone, but growing—growing to such size and at such a speed that it was impossible to perceive even a portion of its features. It was becoming space itself. The Black Skelm was God and had destroyed the earth—

  Harvey's mouth opened, swallowing the universe in a soundless scream.

  He could not follow the Black Skelm, grow into godhead. He could not go back to an earth which no longer existed, had never existed.

  He could only scream, and merge into a swirling nothingness, a funnel that engulfed him without end . . .

  Beelzebub

  HOWARD WAS STILL half-asleep when he heard the buzzing. It was a faint, persistent drone, balanced delicately on the very threshold of consciousness. For a moment Howard wasn't sure whether the sound came from the sleeping-side or the waking-side of his mind. God knows, he'd heard plenty of strange noises in his sleep lately; made them, too. Anita was always complaining about how he'd wake up in the middle of the night, screaming at the top of his lungs. But he had reasons to be upset, the way things were going, and besides Anita was always complaining, period.

  The drone deepened insistently and Howard knew he was awake now. He could feel the stale heat of the bedroom and the response his body was making to it—the loginess of his limbs and the cold pattern of perspiration forming on them.

  Bzzzzzzz.

  Howard opened his eyes.

  The room was dim, but the California sunshine filtering through the smog was also filtering through the interstices of the window-blinds. Just enough to transform the bungalow-court apartment into a small oven with its baking heat. Just enough to give Howard a glimpse of what he didn't want to see—the living room filled with a fan-shaped clutter of clothing and furniture radiating from the axis of the roll-away bed, the cubby-hole kitchen through the open archway, with the caked and crusted dishes heaped in the sink. Yes, and the damned portable typewriter on the table in the corner, its carriag
e accusingly empty and its untouched keys leering up like rows of dusty teeth.

  Rows of dusty teeth—Christ, man, what a writer you are! When you're asleep, that is.

  But he wasn't asleep. He could hear that buzzing. Louder now, much louder. Goddam fly. How'd it get in here, with all the windows tight shut? Anita had a thing about opening windows, no matter how hot it was, when she had her curlers in. And she always had the curlers—

  Bzzzzzzzzz.

  Howard sat up. The noise was too loud to be coming from the kitchen. It had to be here in the room. He turned and glanced at the huddle in the bed beside him.

  The sun glinted off the curlers. A ray played cruelly across Anita's neck, accentuating the stringy fold.

  That's where the fly was sitting. At first he thought it was Anita's mole. But moles don't move. Moles don't buzz.

  It was a fly, all right. He stared at Anita, thinking God how he hated the thing—noisy, rasping at your nerves, always around when you don't want it, demanding attention, intruding on your privacy. Dirty, messy creature, carrying filth—

  Somehow his hand had drawn back and now it was coming forward; he wanted to hit it, not too hard, just swat it and destroy it because it had to be destroyed, he had to get rid of it.

  Howard wasn't conscious of the blow or its force. Realization of its impact vanished before the overwhelming explosion of Anita's shrill scream.

  "Ohhh, you bastard!" And then she was sitting up striking at him; not once, but again and again, harder and harder, and shrieking louder and louder. "You—you—trying to kill me while I'm asleep—"

  It was crazy, she was crazy, and he was trying to explain about the fly, he was only going to swat the fly, but she wouldn't listen, she never listened when she got into one of those hysterical rages. She was crying, sobbing, stumbling into the bathroom; of course she locked the door. There was no sense continuing with the same old scene, no sense pounding on the panel and stammering out apologies. All he could do was find his clothes and get dressed, locate his briefcase under the jumble of her clothing. Past nine already, and his appointment was at ten. He had to be there on time.

  In his haste, Howard forgot all about the fly. What he had to decide now was whether to spend the next twenty minutes catching a cup of coffee at the drugstore on the corner or run into the barbershop for a quick shave. He settled for the shave; it was more important to show up looking presentable.

  Luck was with him. He got the car started without any trouble, made it over to the barbershop. There was a vacant chair. Howard settled back in it, grateful for the hot towels that blotted out the sound of the radio and the sight of the autographed photos on the wall. Why was it that every damned barbershop in this town had to keep the radio blatting at full volume, had to disfigure the wall with faded pictures of faded actors?

  And why was it that barbers didn't have enough sense to keep their places clean?

  Howard found himself flinging the sheet aside before the barber had finished applying aftershave lotion. "What's the matter with you guys—can't you even keep the lousy flies out of here?"

  He hadn't meant to blow up, and come to think of it, there was only one fly, buzzing around the ceiling in Howard's range of vision as he lay tilted back in the chair.

  But Howard didn't come to think of it until he was out of the shop, until the damage was done. The way that crummy barber had looked at him—

  Oh, well, he wouldn't be going back there again anyway. There were plenty of other barbers around.

  Not so many producers, though. At least not so many who wanted to make a deal with him. Howard reminded himself of that as he wheeled up to the studio gate. He put a big smile on his face for the guard who directed him to parking-space, and an even bigger smile for Miss Rogers, the secretary in the outer office of Trebor Productions. But he saved the biggest smile for Joe Trebor.

  That took a little doing. First of all, there was the damned half-hour wait in the outer office. Well, that was Trebor for you—an A-okay rat fink. Of course they were all alike, these producers. They all had the same routine. Set up an appointment, then postpone it. Set up another, give you the pressure; "How soon can you make it? Tomorrow morning? Good—ten o'clock sharp, in my office. I'll leave a pass at the gate for you."

  So you showed up promptly at ten, carrying the briefcase and taking the best possible care of that extra-big smile so that it wouldn't crack around the edges. And then you sat there like a damned fool in the reception room, crossing and uncrossing your legs in the uncomfortable little chair, trying not to stare at the secretary as she kept putting calls through to the guy you were supposed to be seeing right now. Sometimes you even sat there while the charm boys finger-snapped their way in and out of the sanctum sanctorum; the sharp young agents, hair just a little too long over the back of the button-down collar, trousers just a little too tight in the seat, always a little bit ahead of you as they made their pitch, set their deal—for somebody else.

  Howard got into Joe Trebor's office at 10:32. He stayed six minutes.

  Three minutes later he was standing before a pay-phone in a glass booth, trying to dial Dr. Blanchard's number with a forefinger that wouldn't stop trembling, then interrupting the incoherency he poured into the mouthpiece to take a wild swipe at the insect that soared and swooped insanely within the confines of the phone-booth. "It's following me!" he shouted into the mouthpiece. "The damned thing's following me—"

  "Do you want to talk about it now?" asked Dr. Blanchard quietly, as Howard sank back into the big, leather-covered chair. Scarcely another twenty minutes had elapsed, but Howard was not quite calm. And of course he wanted to talk about it.

  That's why he'd called Blanchard, even though it wasn't his regular appointment-day, that's why he'd come running over here to the nice, quiet office where you could sit back and relax and nobody pressured you.

  It wasn't like Joe Trebor's office—he was telling the Doctor about that now. About the phoney modern paintings on the walls and the big desk with the high executive-chair behind it and the low chair in front of it, the one you sat in. When you sat in that chair the producer looked down on you and you had to look up to him. You looked up over that bare desk which told you here was a man too important to waste his time on mere paper-work the way writers did. You looked at the intercom and the phone with the six extension-buttons which showed just how busy a producer was, and at the solid silver water carafe which showed just how wealthy he was. And you looked at the picture of the wife and kids, which was supposed to show you what a solid citizen he was, if you didn't happen to know the stories about the way he interviewed for feminine leads.

  But you didn't look directly at Joe Trebor, because he was staring at you. Staring and waiting for you to come up with the story-line. You got the notes out of the briefcase and you started to read, all the while conscious that you were just wasting your time with a show-boat operator like this, a guy who kept interrupting to make Mickey Mouse suggestions for changes, a guy who didn't understand the values you were aiming for. All he knew was "story-line" and "How do you go out, what's the curtain, you need a tag here," and "Why don't you change it and play this scene exterior?" Typical fly-by-night producer.

  And then the buzzing. The buzzing, just when you were trying to build, trying to sell, trying to nail him down. The buzzing, drowning out your voice.

  And you looked up and saw the fly, perched on the stopper of the silver carafe. It was just squatting there, rubbing its tiny forelegs together, cleansing them. If you put those forelegs under a microscope you'd understand the need for cleansing, because they were covered with filth.

  Then you looked at Joe Trebor who was smiling and shaking his head and saying, "Sorry, I don't quite see it. You haven't licked the story-line yet." And as he said it he rubbed his hands together because they were covered with filth, he'd walked through filth, he left a trail of filth wherever he went, and what right had he to buzz at you? And what right did he have to keep flies in his office to
bug you when you were telling your story, your story that you'd sweated over for weeks in that lousy one-room apartment, like a furnace, with Anita slopping around in her dirty house-coat and whining why didn't you get up the bread?

  And some of this you thought and some of it you must have said because Joe Trebor stood up and he got that look on his face and he was telling you something you couldn't quite hear because of the damned buzzing. So you smiled, holding your lips very tight, not wanting to admit you blew it, but you knew. And you split out and made the phone-call to the Doctor and there it was—the fly, the same fly, the little black thing with a million eyes that can see everything, everywhere, right in the booth with you now, buzzing and listening. It saw and it heard and it followed you, through all the filth in the world.

  Howard knew Dr. Blanchard understood because he was nodding quietly, calm and relaxed, and there was nothing wrong with his eyes. They weren't like Anita's or the barber's or Joe Trebor's eyes, all accusing him of putting them on. And they weren't like the fly's eyes had been, either, watching and waiting. Dr. Blanchard really understood.

  Now he was asking Howard all about it, when the fly had first appeared, how long ago he could remember being conscious of flies. He even knew that talking about such things made Howard a little nervous, because he was saying, "Don't be afraid. There are no flies here. Just go right ahead and say whatever comes to mind. You won't be interrupted by any buzzing——buzzzing—buzzzinnnggg—"

  The buzzing. It was in the room. Howard heard it. He couldn't hear the Doctor's voice anymore because the buzzing was so loud. He couldn't even hear his own voice shouting, but he knew he was telling the Doctor, "You're wrong! It's here—it followed me! Can't you see?"

  But of course Dr. Blanchard couldn't see, how could he see, when the fly, the black, buzzing fly, was sitting there and buzzing on top of his bald head?

  And it buzzed and it stared, and the droning drilled through Howard's skull and the eyes lanced his brain, and he had to run, had to get out of there, had to get away, because they didn't believe him, nobody believed him, not even the Doctor could help him now—