A Dream of her Own

by Benita Brown

  ‘Of course.’

  After Nella had gone Polly came into the room to collect the tea tray. ‘Mrs Edington, you look tired,’ she said accusingly.

  Constance admitted that she was and allowed Polly to help her upstairs. Her bedroom was clean and fresh-smelling, and the lace curtains were moving gently in the breeze from the open window.

  ‘Why don’t you take your clothes off and get into bed and have a proper rest?’ Polly said. ‘Here, I’ll help you.’

  Constance submitted herself to the maid’s kindly ministrations and settled back into the mound of freshly laundered pillows.

  Polly paused at the door. ‘Mrs Edington, why don’t you just stay there? Mr Edington isn’t coming home until late tonight so I can bring your meal up on a tray.’

  ‘All right, Polly.’ Constance sighed and after the door had closed she mused, I might as well be alone in this room as in any other.

  ‘What are you thinking of, sitting on the doorstep like that?’

  Nella had just paid the cab driver and she turned to stare down at the unhappy girl. As the cab clattered away across the cobbles, Alice shaded her eyes with one hand and squinted up against the dusty city sunlight.

  ‘Miss Nicholson,’ she said.

  ‘That’s right, but answer me. Why didn’t you ring the bell?’

  ‘I did and the woman said you weren’t back yet and I didn’t know what to say so she shut the door.’

  Nella could just imagine Mrs Small’s impatience at being confronted with poor Alice. Mrs Small, who was politeness itself to her lodgers, was known to be a tartar with her staff or anyone she deemed further down the social scale than herself and Mr Small. On top of that she had just lost a little maid of all work: the girl had had the temerity to get a better job in a big hotel.

  Alice scrambled to her feet and, although she could only have been thirteen by now, she towered above Nella.

  Nella put her head on one side and squinted up at her. ‘You should hev told her that Miss Nicholson was expecting you and you could hev waited in me sitting room.’

  ‘Could I?’

  Nella frowned. She had known from the start that Alice was slow, but she wasn’t stupid, and Nella suspected that there was something worrying her that was more serious than the fact that she had got the worse of an encounter with Mrs Small.

  ‘Oh, hawway, lass,’ Nella said suddenly. ‘I’m as bad as you, just standing here instead of getting inside. Now ring that bell for me, will you?’

  Mrs Small was full of apologies. ‘I’m so sorry, Miss Nicholson,’ she said, ‘but the girl didn’t make herself clear. I imagined that she was a member of your devoted public come to pester you for some token.’

  ‘Did you?’ Nella was surprised. She knew she had admirers - large numbers of them followed her from theatre to theatre - but no one had ever come to her lodgings before.

  ‘Oh yes,’ Mrs Small shook her head sympathetically, ‘I know what it’s like to be loved by the theatre-going public. Before I retired from the stage I used to have to disguise myself in order to get even from the stage door to the waiting hansom cab.’

  ‘Fancy that.’ For a moment Nella wondered whether it was permissible to ask this famous actress to bring her up a plate of sandwiches but then she remembered that she was paying good money to live here.

  ‘Of course, Miss Nicholson,’ Mrs Small said. ‘I’ve got some nice boiled ham. And I’ll bring them up myself. You know that I’m managing with only the cook and one skivvy, don’t you?’

  Nella took that as a reproach, but nevertheless she hurried upstairs to her rooms with Alice following on and breathing heavily. When they reached Nella’s landing she turned and looked at the girl critically. Alice’s usually pasty cheeks were flushed and her breast was heaving.

  ‘You need to lose some weight, girl,’ Nella said. ‘Although how you’ve managed to get like that on the rations old Mortimer doles out, I’ll never know.’

  Alice looked as though she was going to cry. ‘I’m not greedy, really I’m not. Mrs Mortimer says that I must be sneaking down into the kitchen at night and pinching anything I can find - but there’s never anything missing when she checks - but she shouts at me all the same and says I’m growing into a fat, ugly lump. But, honestly, Miss Nicholson, I think I’m just made this way.’

  ‘Of course you are. Come on in, pet, and divven’t fret yerself.’ She raised a finger to her lips. ‘We’ll hev to talk quietly because Lucy, that I share with, will be heving a little nap in her room.’

  Nella led the way into the sitting room. She hoped that she hadn’t upset the poor lass too much. She, of all people, should have remembered what it was like to be mocked for her appearance.

  ‘Now, do you think you could get yerself into that little kitchen through there and make us a nice pot of tea to gan with the sandwiches that Mrs Small will be bringing up?’

  Nella wasn’t really hungry. She had indulged herself with Mrs Green’s home-made scones and she never liked to eat too much before a performance. It wouldn’t be too long before Harry called in a cab to take her and Lucy to the station where they would meet up with the others and catch the train to Shields. When she got back here after the show, she and Lucy would have whatever Mrs Small had left out for them. She doubted if she was doing her constitution much good with these midnight feasts but after the show she was usually ravenous.

  Alice polished off most of the sandwiches and drank two cups of tea, then she sat and stared at the floor.

  ‘So what is it, then? Why did you come to see me?’ Nella asked.

  ‘Oh!’ Alice raised a hand to her open mouth in a startled gesture. ‘Ee, Miss Nicholson, you must think I’m daft!’

  ‘No, pet, I don’t, but whatever it is you’ve come to see me about, you’ll hev to look sharp. I’ll hev to get ready to gan quite soon.’

  Alice thrust a hand into the pocket of her skirt and brought something out. She held her hand out across the table and Nella could see a small coin resting in her palm. ‘I’ve brought this. It’s yours.’

  ‘Sixpence?’

  ‘Yes, for your things. You know, you told me to give them to the rag-and-bone man and he said that’s what they were worth.’

  ‘You sold all me worldly goods for a tanner!’ Nella said theatrically, and the girl looked frightened. ‘Ee, Alice, divvent look like that, pet. I’m not angry with you! In fact I’m surprised he gave you so much for me bit rags. But I wrote that letter months ago.’

  ‘I know, but ... but ...’

  ‘And I said you could keep whatever you got for them. So what’s brought you here now? Alice, whatever is the matter?’

  Nella watched in consternation as the tears welled up in the younger girl’s eyes and then spilled out and ran down her cheeks. At first she cried quite silently and then she began to sob, louder and louder as she tried to gulp back her grief.

  ‘There, there, bonny lass.’ Nella got up and went to put an arm round the girl’s shoulder. She noticed how soft and cushiony it was. ‘Now, are you gannin’ to tell me what this is about?’

  ‘I shouldn’t be surprised if it’s a man that’s the cause of all this commotion - that’s usually the case.’ It was Lucy who had spoken. Alice stopped halfway through a sniff and she and Nella looked towards the open doorway of Lucy’s bedroom.

  Nella’s roommate was wearing a silk robe loosely tied around her ample figure and her hair was in curling rags. She never looked her best without her make-up and, at the moment, she looked both sleepy and cross.

  ‘I’m sorry, Lucy,’ Nella said, ‘but me little friend seems to be in some kind of trouble.’

  ‘I can see that.’ Lucy’s expression softened when she took in the young girl’s distress. ‘Look, my dear, you’ve come to the right place. You can confide in me and Nella and we’ll help you if we can, but first I’m going to make a fresh pot of tea, and you can tell us all about it while I start doing my hair.’

  Alice remained completely silent while
Lucy made the tea and then she watched in awe as the older woman began to untie the rags in her hair and drop them on the table.

  ‘Come along then,’ Lucy said. ‘What’s the matter? Are you in the family way?’

  Alice shrieked and half rose from her chair. Nella thought the lass was going to run from the room, and she grabbed at one of her hands and tugged until she sat down again. ‘It’s all right, Alice,’ she said, and the girl shot her a wide-eyed look of panic which made her add, ‘I think you’d better answer the question.’

  ‘No, I’m not,’ Alice said defiantly. ‘I’m a good girl.’

  ‘Well, thank goodness for that,’ Lucy said drily. ‘So what is it? Has some little errand boy broken your good little heart?’

  Alice pursed her lips and looked sulky.

  ‘Give over, Lucy,’ Nella said. ‘The girl’s upset. You shouldn’t tease her. Now, come on, Alice, we hevn’t got much longer before I’ll hev to go.’ Alice glanced at Lucy, who was still taking out her rags and Nella continued, ‘Don’t be fooled by her manner. Lucy Lovekins has a heart of gold. Who else would look after me the way she has? Now, come on, you can trust her.’

  ‘So, it isn’t a man?’ Lucy prompted.

  ‘Yes, it is, it’s him ... it’s Master Gerald ...’

  ‘Gerald Sowerby ...’ Nella breathed, and her anger rose in her throat like bile to choke her.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  ‘Who is Gerald Sowerby?’ Lucy asked.

  ‘Dr Sowerby and Mrs Sowerby’s pride and joy!’ Nella said and when she saw Lucy raise her eyebrows she added, ‘The son of the house where Alice works - where I used to work.’

  ‘And I take it you have cause to dislike him?’

  ‘I hate him!’

  ‘But why? He didn’t ... I mean ... surely he wouldn’t ...’

  ‘Fancy me?’ Nella laughed, but it was a dry, cracked sound. ‘No, he didn’t try anything on with me. But he did with a friend of mine.’

  She realized that Alice was looking at her curiously and she brought her thoughts back to the present problem. ‘But it’s this poor bairn we’re concerned with now.’ She looked straight at the girl. ‘What did he do to you?’

  Alice flushed crimson. ‘Well ... he’d been following me about for days.’

  ‘Following you?’

  ‘Well, you know, catching me at the top of the stairs when I was carrying a pile of clean linen - or standing watching me when I filled up the coal scuttles, or saw to a fire.’

  ‘But he did more than just watch or you wouldn’t be sitting here telling us all this,’ Nella said.

  Alice’s lower lip began to tremble and the tears spill from her eyes again. But this time she went on with her story. ‘Just last week I was cleaning the bathroom ... I didn’t even hear him come in ... I was bending over the bath when I thought I heard something. I looked up and saw his reflection in the mirror and I nearly died of fright.’ The girl’s eyes widened and she bit on her lips so hard that Nella thought they might bleed.

  ‘He was standing behind me,’ Alice went on, ‘so close that I couldn’t have moved back without bumping into him. I tried to straighten up but he pushed me down over the bath and kept me there with one hand and then ... then he started to lift my skirt—’

  ‘Why didn’t you yell blue murder?’ Lucy asked.

  ‘I was going to. I took a deep breath and he grabbed at my hair and pulled it and said that if I made a noise he’d kill me.’

  ‘Oh, Alice ... Alice ...’ Nella said.

  ‘I believed him! You should have heard the way he said it! I thought if he didn’t get me there and then he’d get me later.’

  ‘All right, pet,’ Nella said soothingly. ‘What happened next?’

  Alice blushed scarlet, then she dropped her head and looked fixedly at the carpet. ‘He pushed my skirt up ... and he was pulling at my ... at my drawers ... you know ... and at the same time he was moving sort of funny ... sort of pushing himself against me.’

  ‘Dirty bastard!’ Lucy exclaimed.

  Alice looked startled and Nella said, ‘Lucy! Language! She’s only a bairn!’

  ‘That’s why he’s a dirty bastard and so’s any man that’ll try to have his way with children!’

  ‘It’s all right,’ Alice blurted out. ‘He didn’t - I mean it didn’t come to that.’

  ‘What happened?’ Nella asked.

  ‘Miss Annabel ... she came into the room and she shrieked—’

  ‘I bet she did!’ Nella found herself laughing with relief.

  ‘Master Gerald cursed something awful and he went chasing after her and ... I heard him shouting her name but I don’t know what he said.’

  ‘So who’s Annabel?’ Lucy asked.

  ‘Gerald’s little sister,’ Nella told her. ‘And I bet he’ll hev persuaded her not to tell on him. Has he bothered you again?’

  ‘I’ve been dodging him,’ Alice said. ‘But I just don’t know how long I can keep out of his way.’

  ‘Don’t worry, you’re not gannin’ back there tonight - nor ever again,’ Nella said.

  The girl’s eyes filled with hope. ‘Do you mean I can stay with you? That’s why I wrote to you. You were so kind to me when I started working at the Sowerbys’ that I was sure you would help me.’

  Nella remembered how she had been so upset at losing Constance that she had had to force herself to be even civil to the poor lass; and yet the girl had remembered her as a friend. Well, she would be her friend, and she would help her.

  ‘You did right. You can stay here—’

  ‘Wait a minute—’ Lucy began.

  ‘Mrs Small, our landlady, needs a housemaid,’ Nella said. ‘Would you like me to arrange for you to get the job, Alice?’

  The girl stared at her. Relief at not having to go back to Rye Hill fought with fear of the formidable Mrs Small and Nella laughed.

  ‘Ee, don’t worry, pet. She’s a bit of a tartar but she’s good at heart, and if you work hard she’ll treat you right. And the grub’s better than you’d ever get at Rye Hill,’ she added.

  And that seemed to do it. Alice’s smile was like the sun coming out. ‘Oh, thank you, Miss Nicholson, I’ll stay - that is, if she’ll have me.’

  ‘Don’t worry, she will. But you’ll be starting work tomorrow. Tonight Lucy and I are taking you to the theatre.’

  ‘He looks so happy.’ Madame Alvini smiled as Valentino and Jimmy Nelson made their way downstairs from the family apartment at the top of the old building in the Haymarket. A cab was waiting at the door of the restaurant to take them to the station and here they would catch the train for Shields.

  ‘Of course he’s happy,’ Frank said. ‘He’s going to the theatre to see his sweetheart. He goes to the theatre to see her every night and never mind that it’s costing us a fortune.’

  Frank regretted his words the moment he had said them and he regretted them even more when he saw the smile drain from his mother’s face. She turned her beautiful eyes on him with a look of anguish. ‘But, Frank, we can afford it, can’t we? I mean, we have sufficient money to be able to make your brother happy?’

  He reached for his mother’s hands and held them as he spoke. ‘I’m sorry, Mamma. Of course we can afford it. Valentino asks for so little in life whereas I—’

  ‘You are talking about the cost of your studies. That is something I would pay for even if I had to go out scrubbing floors. I will be so proud of my son the doctor!’

  Frank laughed. ‘You go out scrubbing, Mamma? My father would rise from his grave and haunt me if ever I allowed you to spoil these beautiful hands in such a way.’ He raised them to his lips and kissed them. ‘Now, come in and sit down. You have nothing to worry about. Jimmy will take good care of Valentino, and I have some studying to do.’

  Frank sat at the table and spread out his books, and a little later his mother brought him a pot of coffee and a slice of almond cake. ‘When they are married Valentino will not have to pay for his tickets,’ she said.
r />   With an effort Frank tore his eyes away from the page in front of him and frowned up at his mother. ‘Not pay for his tickets? What are you talking about?’

  ‘Mr Bodie explained to me that once Valentino and Miss Nicholson are married there will be complimentary tickets - and probably for Jimmy, too.’

  ‘That’s good. But, Mamma, I was wrong to complain about the cost of the theatre tickets. It really doesn’t matter.’