It Was Always You

by Barnes, Miranda

  And now she had Don lecturing her on her future. Telling her what a future someone like her would have in his wonderful big city, where a million people lived such prosperous, exciting lives. It was too much, altogether too much.

  *

  Later, after Dad had gone off to work and Mum was preparing to visit someone else who wasn’t well, Anna opened the front door and stepped out onto the street. Her first day of what Don had called "Freedom"! Well, let’s see what it’s like, she thought. Let’s see if it’s all it’s cracked up to be.

  It was much the same as any other day, she soon decided. Callerton hadn’t changed. She walked along the main street, observing what was happening. The postman was busy. There were still cars parked near the school, some mums not yet ready to be back home. A man she didn’t know was walking with his dog. The little church was closed. Peggy Miller must still be at home. At least, her car was outside. Perhaps she was on holiday?

  But some things were different. The shop – her shop – was closed, the blinds drawn, no lights on, no-one inside. Who said Callerton never changed?

  Something else was different, too. As she approached, she could hear the sound of a power drill at work inside the old, ruined cottage where she had seen Matthew poised on a ladder. The ladder was still there, as well.

  As she drew level, Matthew appeared. He was about to climb the ladder when he saw her. He stopped and waited.

  ‘Hello, Matthew! Here again? What are you up to?’

  He gestured with his head towards a window frame standing against the wall. ‘I’m just fixing the new windows.’

  ‘Someone has decided to renovate this old place, have they?’

  He nodded. ‘It’s going to take a bit of work, mind.’

  ‘I’ll say! It’s been empty many a year.’

  ‘Forever, I think. What about you? What are you up to? The shop’s closed, I see.’

  ‘Yesterday.’ She grimaced. ‘I handed over the keys to the Wilsons – Mrs. Wilson grabbed them off me, I should say. She couldn’t wait to get me out of the door. Now I’m unemployed, and looking for work.’

  ‘You’ll soon find something, Anna.’

  ‘That’s what everyone says. I’m not so sure, though.’

  ‘You will.’

  He stared at her a moment longer and then started back up the ladder.

  ‘ ‘Bye, Matthew!’

  ‘See you!’ he called back over his shoulder.

  She continued on her way, slightly disappointed he hadn’t wanted to continue the conversation. She had always had a laugh with Matthew. Not today, though. He was busy.

  She would have to get used to that, she thought wearily. Everyone was busy. She was the only one now with time for idle chit-chat.

  She did wonder if anything was wrong with Matthew, in particular, though. He just hadn’t seemed as cheerful as usual. In fact, he hadn’t had much to say to her at all lately.

  She wondered what she had done or said wrong that day he had taken her to Longwitton. There must have been something. She couldn’t understand it. Such a lovely day they had spent together, too. But since then, he’d scarcely had a word to say to her.

  She sighed. He was just busy, probably. Intent on his work. So he should be. He worked so hard. And now he was working on that old ruin of a house as well. Whoever had bought it was going to need an awful lot of money and patience to sort it out. It was bad enough on the outside. Goodness knew what the inside was like.

  She spun round, hearing the clatter of hooves behind her.

  ‘Carol!’ she cried with delight, seeing her friend.

  ‘Good morning, Anna. Just taking the beasts for a ride. There’s a spare one for you, if you fancy it?’

  Anna laughed and shook her head. ‘No, thank you! You look far too high up there.’

  She admired the three horses Carol had with her, the one she was riding and the two she was leading.

  ‘That’s a pity. Going far?’

  ‘Just up to Dawson’s Wood, and then along by the river.’

  ‘Have fun!’ Carol rolled her eyes and added, ‘More fun than poor Matthew, anyway. Did you see what he’s doing, back there?’

  ‘I did. He wasn’t in a very chatty mood, though. So I didn’t get much out of him. Who’s he working for, I wonder? Who’s bought that old place?’

  ‘No idea.’ Carol shrugged and turned to check the horses she was leading. ‘I must get on. They’re becoming impatient with me. See you later!’

  Anna waved her off. For a moment she quite envied Carol. At least, Carol still knew what she was doing each day.

  Then she wondered if Carol could be why she had seen and heard so little of Matthew lately. She wondered if after the trip to Longwitton Matthew had decided Carol was just right for him after all. Perhaps it was as simple as that?

  Chapter Fourteen

  ‘You would love it,’ Don said.

  ‘Would I? Would I really?’ She smiled and said, ‘Yes, I probably would.’

  ‘So what do you say?’

  ‘I’ll think about it.’

  They strolled on, crossing the dunes, heading for the beach. The evening was cold and clear. Cricket was being played, or practised, nearby but each man in the field looked like the famous advert for tyres, swaddled in multiple sweaters. It was an ambitious, optimistic harbinger of summer, even if the light nights were here again.

  Don started off again. ‘Come for a holiday. A couple of weeks, say. A month, even. See how you like it. We can take it from there.’

  She had the time. The Wilsons had made sure of that. She even had the money to buy a ticket. That didn’t worry her. But something else did. It was far too soon to be making any sort of commitment to Don.

  ‘Where could I stay, if I did come?’

  Don recognised her unspoken concern, and seemed easy about it. ‘With my sister,’ he said. ‘She and her husband, Tom, have a lovely old home, with plenty of space. You’ve met Sally Anne. Tom’s a nice guy, as well. They would be happy to have you.’

  That seemed to answer her big question. She had met Sally Anne at the ceilidh, and once or twice since. She seemed very nice. Tom wasn’t with her on this trip, but Anna was sure he would be nice, too.

  ‘OK,’ she said.

  ‘OK?’

  ‘I’d love to come for a holiday.’

  He looked at her, laughed with delight and gave her a hug. ‘I can guarantee you won’t regret it. You’ll have the holiday of a lifetime. And afterwards you won’t be able to wait to get hold of that immigration application form!’

  She laughed, too, but she wasn’t altogether comfortable with Don’s certainty. A holiday was one thing, but she wished he wouldn’t go on so much about emigrating. She did like him, but he seemed to be expecting an awful lot of her. If she did emigrate, she would be giving up so much. Everything, really. Everything she knew and was. And it wasn’t as if they had known each other very long. Hardly any time at all, in fact.

  Yet, and yet, was he really expecting, or asking, so much? What, exactly, would she be giving up here? No job, and not much prospect of one in the immediate future. No place of her own to live. Not much world travelling either, she thought with a wry smile. And hardly any exotic holidays at all!

  Besides, Don was suggesting an initial visit only, a holiday. That was all. What was wrong with that? She could go and see if she liked it.

  With Don, though? With him? Was he the one?

  Perhaps. She was being cautious, but she did like him. A lot. Already she knew that. And the prospect of being with him for a couple of weeks, a month even, was thrilling to contemplate.

  ‘Will I really like Calgary?’ she asked shyly, knowing even before he answered what he was going to say.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The journey, the flight, was just a blur. Yet exciting, too. Anna had never experienced such a long flight before, but it passed remarkably quickly. Most of the nine hours was spent flying over Canada, she was astonished to find. The Atlantic turn
ed out to be nothing like the gulf she had always thought existed between the two continents. What was it they used to call it in old wartime films? "The Pond"? She could understand why now.

  Don and his sister, Sally Anne, met her at the airport. It took an age to get through security and customs, and everything else, but eventually she could see Don’s smiling face on the far side of the barrier. Sally Anne was waving frantically. Anna blew them a kiss and waved back, and began to relax. She had made it. She was in the right place.

  ‘Welcome to Calgary!’ Don proclaimed, wrapping his arms around her and giving her a hug and a kiss.

  She kissed him back and broke away, laughing. ‘I can’t believe I’m here! Hello, Sally Anne,’ she cried, accepting another hug. ‘Gosh! I’m really here, aren’t I?’

  ‘You’re really here,’ Sally Anne agreed, kissing her cheek.

  ‘How was the flight?’ Don asked.

  ‘Wonderful. I really enjoyed it.’

  ‘Even the food?’ Sally Anne queried.

  ‘Even the food!’ Anna laughed again. ‘The poor airlines. They get such criticism over their meals, but I think they do really well. The meals were lovely.’

  ‘Better than they used to be, anyway,’ Sally Anne conceded.

  ‘What have you got in this thing?’ Don asked, complaining about her suitcase. He had lifted it from the trolley, and promptly dropped it again.

  ‘Hardly anything,’ Anna assured him. ‘It’s nearly empty.’

  ‘Empty, huh?’

  ‘Come along, Donald!’ his sister urged. ‘Don’t be such a wimp. Show her how strong a Canadian boy can be.’

  Don grinned and took Anna’s hand with his own free hand. They set off, Anna listening to the non-stop commentary on just about everything from Sally Anne, with occasional contributions from Don.

  Within a few minutes they were loaded into Don’s car and headed into the city. It wasn’t far. The airport was on Calgary’s northern edge.

  ‘So that’s it,’ Anna said, when she saw the collection of high-rise towers ahead. ‘Wow!

  ‘That’s it,’ Don agreed. ‘Downtown.’ He threw her a quick smile. ‘Like it?’

  ‘It’s wonderful.’ She shook her head and marvelled. ‘It’s just like all those pictures you see of American cities.’

  ‘Except this one is Canadian,’ Sally Anne said from the back seat. ‘So it’s better.’

  ‘Yes, of course. I’m sure it is.’

  ‘Just so you know,’ Don said with a wink.

  ‘We’re hardly provincial at all here,’ Sally Anne added.

  ‘You two!’ Anna said, laughing.

  Twenty minutes later they were in the middle of it, the cluster of towers, and they were busily threading their way through the downtown. Don said they could have avoided the centre by keeping to the freeways but he wanted her to see it close up. Anna nodded. She was tired, but she watched and observed with fascination. Everything was so different. The cars, the buildings, even the people at the bus queues and standing on street corners. She felt like pinching herself.

  Sally Anne’s home was in Bonavista, a 1960’s suburb of big houses and bungalows set well back from wide roads, with manicured lawns and with water sprinklers going everywhere. Sally Anne’s was a two-storey house, white with black timbers creating a fake Tudor effect – except for the roof, which had purple tiles. A couple of giant blue spruces shielded the front of the house and a line of white birches edged the driveway alongside an immaculate lawn. The garage itself would have made a decent-sized house.

  ‘Home!’ Sally Anne announced.

  ‘What a beautiful house,’ Anna said, impressed already.

  ‘It was,’ Don said grimly. ‘But just wait and see what the kids have done to it.’

  ‘Your nephews and niece,’ Sally Anne reminded him, opening her door. ‘Our little angels.’

  Don winked at Anna. ‘Little monsters!’ he growled.

  They were anything but that, Anna soon discovered. They were two cheerful small boys, Jack and Lee, aged six and eight, plus Katy, a delightful ten-year old. Together with their father, Tom, they were eager to greet their visitor from overseas. Even the obviously very popular Uncle Don had to take a back seat.

  ‘Have you met the Queen?’ Katy wanted to know.

  ‘Not yet,’ Anna had to admit.

  Katy swallowed her disappointment bravely and announced that she had made jelly for supper.

  The boys wanted Anna to come into the garden and play ball with them.

  ‘Later,’ their mother said firmly. ‘Better yet – tomorrow. Or the day after,’ she added in an aside for Anna’s benefit.

  Anna laughed as the children were shooed out of the kitchen. ‘You’re so lucky, Sally Anna!’

  ‘What? Having these guys to chase around after all day?’ The scowl turned to a grin. ‘Yes, I am,’ she conceded, ruffling Jack’s hair.

  Tom was a quiet, serious seeming man, some years older than Sally Anne. Anna put him in his early forties, and his wife perhaps ten years younger. Like Don, Tom was a lawyer. And so was Sally Anne, Anna was surprised to learn. A qualified but non-practising lawyer.

  ‘I gave up when these guys came along,’ Sally Anne explained. ‘Maybe I’ll go back to it when they’re a little older. Maybe.’

  ‘You’d better,’ Tom said with a chuckle. ‘By then, we’ll need the money. We’ll have some big school bills to pay.’

  ‘Alternatively,’ Sally Anne said, ‘I could change my mind and stay home. Tom could just work harder.’

  ‘See how it is?’ Tom said ruefully to Don. ‘These women? They rule the roost.’

  Don shook his head. ‘How ever did you let things get this bad, Tom?’

  ‘Get out of here!’ Sally Anne screeched. ‘Come on, Anna. Let me show you to your room.’

  ‘I’ve taken your suitcase up, Anna,’ Tom called as the two of them set off.

  Anna thanked him with a smile. Then she turned to follow Sally Anne. Already she felt she was going to enjoy her stay with these people.

  After supper she began to feel the day catching up with her. The journey had taken a lot out of her, and it was, she knew, way past her normal bedtime even though it was still early here. Fortunately, her hosts were alert to the signs and understood the situation. They called an end to the evening and told her she needed to get her head down.

  In a delightful bedroom with the scent of cedarwood all around her, she did just that. For a few minutes she tried to re-live the day. Then she gave in happily and embraced sleep.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The next morning Don collected her after breakfast and they took off on a whirlwind tour of the city. Anna soon lost track of where they were, as they sped along freeways and parkways, and past commercial strips and shopping malls. She was overwhelmed. She didn’t know where to look next.

  Over coffee in a small cafe downtown, Don could see her confusion and he took pity on her. ‘We’ll slow down,’ he said. ‘We don’t have to see everything at once.’

  ‘No, no! It’s wonderful.’

  He smiled and placed his hand on hers. ‘I can’t tell you how great it is to have you here.’

  She smiled back. ‘And I can’t tell you how good it is to see you again, Don. And all this!’ she added with a flutter of her hand that took in all of Calgary. ‘I can hardly believe it.’

  ‘Oh, you ain’t seen nothing yet!’

  She grinned. ‘Where next?’

  ‘How about we drop by my place? Let you see where I live?’

  Where Don lived was high up in a downtown apartment block. It wasn’t a massive apartment. Just a big living room to go with a tiny kitchen, a bathroom and a couple of small bedrooms. Not a lot in it either. But pleasantly, easily done. Pale-coloured furniture, Scandinavian style. A few wall hangings. And a view – such a view!

  Anna stood at the window, gazing down at the toy cars and buses edging along the streets, and the insect-like people crawling across the sidewalks and standing waitin
g patiently for transport. It was like gazing down into a beautifully constructed doll’s house.

  ‘I could do this all day!’ she called over her shoulder.

  Don joined her. ‘I never really notice any more. In fact, I don’t spend a lot of time here, to be honest.’

  ‘Just somewhere to hang your hat?’

  ‘That’s it.’ He nodded. ‘And somewhere to get my head down every night for a few hours. It’s convenient.’

  And that was how it seemed. Convenient. Minimalist living. Free of complications. Free of commitments. Leaving plenty of time to work, and to do the things that really mattered to him. Not a home at all, she thought. Don could collect his stuff and be out of here in twenty minutes, if he wanted. Matthew’s old flat back in Callerton was more of a home.

  ‘Do you maintain it yourself?’ she asked.

  ‘Maintain it?’ Don chuckled. ‘If anything goes wrong here, I move house – immediately!’

  ‘What about cleaning, laundry and so on?’

  ‘I pay a service charge for stuff like that. I don’t have time for it.’

  ‘I bet there are days when Sally Anne would like an arrangement like that.’

  ‘I just bet there are.’ He shook his head. ‘That’s what you get with kids, though – lots of work!’

  She laughed. ‘Other things, as well.’

  ‘Oh, yeah? Worry, expense, trouble? It’s better being an uncle than a dad, I reckon.’

  ‘Said with feeling!’

  He laughed. ‘I’m sure Tom would agree with me.’

  ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t.’

  ‘No, perhaps not. Ready for lunch?’

  She glanced at her watch, surprised. It wasn’t much after eleven.

  ‘We lunch early in Calgary,’ he explained.