Wings of Love

by Scotty Cade

  “How did Lindsey die?” Brad asked.

  “Breast cancer.”

  Both men sat in silence for a moment before Brad whispered, “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too,” Mac responded.

  They talked until five o’clock in the morning. And although they never acknowledged it, they both knew that a friendship had been forged that would stand the test of time.

  Chapter 3

  LATER that morning the men said their good-byes, and Mac took off for Lake Hood. Brad watched the little plane until it was out of sight, knowing that since Mac exclusively flew all the guests back and forth, as well as weekly supply runs to the surrounding areas, he would see his friend again very soon.

  It was a beautiful July summer morning, and the leaves were blowing lazily in the trees. Although he hadn’t slept very much the night before, he felt better than he’d expected to. The sweet mountain air and the blue skies did a world of good for his mood, and while he didn’t know how long the mood would last, he decided to take advantage of it.

  He went back to the lodge and dressed in his hiking gear. He told Jake and Zander that he’d be gone for most of the day, and they offered a brown-bag lunch, which he happily accepted. He started his hike along the lakeshore and headed toward Mount Susitna. He and Jeff had often hiked in the foothills there and had a couple of favorite trails they did each time they vacationed here.

  As Brad quietly walked in the sunshine and observed the beauty around him, he felt closer to Jeff than he had at any time in the last few weeks. In Jeff’s last days, he’d been in a coma, and although Brad had been happy to be with him, Jeff really hadn’t been there. But when they’d been here… Jeff had been so alive. The feeling was so overwhelming, Brad suddenly felt weak in the knees. He stopped and sat on a large rock right off the trail and allowed the feelings to take him, harder than ever. Just like that, he was again in a really dark place. Remembering the promise he’d made to Jeff, he forced himself to stand and take a step. Keep going, he told himself. You promised.

  It was about nine thirty in the morning, and he’d been walking for about an hour when he noticed a cabin just off the trail. I’ve never noticed that cabin before, he thought. But most times we were here in the spring when the leaves were full, green, and vibrant on the trees. He decided to check it out.

  He started off the trail toward the cabin when he noticed a faded old sign covered in brush. He realized he was up in the Alaskan mountains and didn’t want to get shot for trespassing, so he thought he should see what it said. He assumed it was a “No Trespassing” or “Private Property” sign, but wanted to make sure. “Holy shit,” he said out loud. “For Sale.”

  He felt certain that, since it was for sale—and by the appearance of the sign, had been for quite some time—he could inspect the property without his life being in danger. The approach to the structure was badly overgrown, so it was slow going. He finally reached the wraparound porch and looked up. He grabbed the handrail to pull himself onto the porch, and it promptly came off in his hand. He fell backward and landed square on his butt. Stunned, he sat there for a second, looked up at the sky, and started to laugh. The more he laughed, the louder he got, and his laughter soon became a roar. He knew that wherever Jeff was, he was laughing his ass off too. With a smile plastered on his face, he stood again, and this time with a little more caution, climbed his way onto the porch.

  Crossing the porch to the front door, he carefully avoided all the rotten floorboards and reached the door without any mishaps. He felt very silly as he raised his hand and knocked on the closed door. Of course, no one answered, so just for the hell of it, he tried the doorknob. Much to his surprise, the door was unlocked. He opened the door and called out “Hello!” Again no one answered, so he walked in.

  The inside was in much better shape than he’d imagined. The cabin was much larger than it appeared from the trail, and fully furnished. It appeared to be one large room, with a loft on one end and an oversized stone fireplace on the other. Under the loft was a small kitchen and what appeared to be a bathroom. He made his way to the bathroom and peeked inside. There was an antique claw-footed tub, an old pedestal sink, and a thronelike thing that said “Envirolet composting toilet.” Yuck, he thought. I can’t imagine doing my business on that thing.

  He worked his way around the basic kitchen. It had a sink, an old twelve-volt refrigerator, and a wood-burning stove. In the center of the room, in front of the fireplace, was a large couch, two end tables, and of all things, a recliner. Across the room was a bed, dresser, and bedside table. He carefully climbed up the ladder to the loft and found another bed, a chest of drawers, a bedside table, and a blanket chest. Each room had oil-burning wall sconces every four or so feet and an oil lamp on each end table next to the couch and on each bedside table. There was an oil-burning chandelier hanging in the middle of the cabin on a pulley system, which Brad assumed was to raise and lower it for lighting and extinguishing.

  On a table to the right of the door was a stack of flyers covered in dust. He picked one up, held it out in front of him, and shook off the dust. The headline read, “Environmentally Green Cabin For Sale.” The flyer went on to describe the property in detail. Two acres of natural woodland, twelve hundred square feet, two bedrooms, one bathroom cabin, totally furnished, no electricity, solar panels, twelve-volt battery system, generator, no telephone, well water, and composting toilet. It listed the owner’s name and phone number and the price—$69,999.00.

  Brad’s first thought was, I’ll buy this place. I have no reason to go home, Jeff is gone, my practice is sold, and I’ll have plenty to do to keep me occupied. Worst case, if I ever decide to go home, I’ll have a cabin to come back to in a place Jeff loved. It was the quickest decision he had ever made, and somehow he knew it was the right one.

  When he got back to the lodge about four o’clock that afternoon, he couldn’t believe how energized he felt. He showed Jake and Zander the flyer and told them about his discovery. Much to his surprise, they were aware of the cabin and, of course, knew the owner. They explained that the property was about fifteen miles away by a badly maintained dirt road, but only two or three miles on foot. He told the boys he was going to buy it, and they both looked at him with some resignation.

  “Are you sure?” Zander said.

  “Yeah, that place needs a lot of work,” Jake added.

  Before Brad could say a word, Zander piped up again, “That place has no electricity or telephone, and don’t even think it has running water.”

  Finally Brad was able to get a word in. “It has a well with indoor running water. And you’re right, no electricity, but solar power, no telephone, and not even cell service, but who do I need to call? And it has plenty of oil-burning lamps.”

  “Man, you got it bad,” Zander said.

  “Look,” Jake added. “We would love nothing better than to welcome you to our little slice of heaven, but take a while and think about it. Then if you’re still serious, you can count on us for all the help and support we can offer, right, Zander?”

  “You betcha. But please think about it before you make any quick decisions,” Zander added.

  “Sorry, Zander, but I’ve made up my mind,” Brad said. “Jeff loved this place, and I feel closer to him here than anywhere else, and right now this is what I need to survive. Can you understand that?”

  Certain they wouldn’t be able to talk him out of it, they looked at each other, and Zander said, “If this is what you want, you can count on us.”

  “Thanks, boys,” Brad whispered.

  The three men hugged, and Brad went back to his room feeling better than he had in any recent memory. Once back in his room, he pulled the flyer out of his pocket and stared at it for a long time. Tomorrow morning he would use the lodge’s satellite phone to call the owner and set up an appointment to meet.

  Chapter 4

  THE next morning Brad made the call, and Jake and Zander drove him over to the cabin to meet the owner. He st
ared out of the window as they drove and thought, The boys are right. The drive is much longer than the hike, and the roads aren’t in the best of shape, but where the hell do I need to drive? Nowhere. Zander said something to Jake, which interrupted Brad’s thoughts, but after Jake answered, there was silence again. In that silence, Brad got lost in his thoughts yet again. I can spend the entire winter in front of the fire, reading my favorite journals and novels and never see another human being if I don’t want to. That’s what I need right now, to sort out my feelings and to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.

  The approach from the road appeared to be kept clear, but everything else was very overgrown. When they reached the porch, the back door was already open, and a tall, thin man with shoulder-length black hair and a long black beard stepped out.

  “Hey, Seth,” Jake said.

  “Jake, Zander, good to see you boys.”

  Jake said, “Seth Palin, meet Brad Mitchell.”

  Seth stuck out his hand and said, “Pleased to meet you, Brad.”

  Brad shook Seth’s hand and said “Palin—any relation?”

  “Who the hell knows in these parts, but I sure hope not.”

  Brad smiled and said, “You and me both.”

  “So,” Seth continued, “you think you want to buy this old place, huh?”

  “I know I do,” Brad responded. “It’s exactly what I need right now—a big distraction and a project with no people and no interruptions.”

  “Hey,” Zander and Jake said simultaneously.

  “Well, except these guys,” Brad said.

  “I wrote up an ‘Intent to Purchase’ last night and hoped this would suffice until I can get back to Anchorage and get you a certified check,” Brad said.

  “Sure it will,” Seth replied. “It’s been sitting here for the last several years getting more and more grown over with brush. I just gave up on maintaining it. I’ve got to tell you, though, what you see is what you get. I won’t be fixing anything or guaranteeing anything, either. It is what it is.”

  “Understood,” Brad said. “Now, about the price?”

  “Yeah, I know, it’s in pretty bad shape,” Seth confessed. “What do you say we call it an even fifty grand?”

  “Deal,” Brad replied. “As long as you show me how to work that throne-looking thing in the bathroom.”

  “Piece of cake.” Seth laughed, and the two men shook on the transaction, both with beaming smiles.

  “Hey, Zander,” Brad yelled. “When is Mac flying back up?”

  “Tomorrow morning. We have two rooms checking in and one checking out,” Zander replied.

  “Perfect. I’ll catch a ride with him to Anchorage, do a little banking, and fly back on his next trip.” Brad handed two signed copies of the “Intent to Purchase” to Seth, and Seth signed them both and gave one back to Brad. Just like that, and just like Mac, Brad was on his way to keeping his own promise.

  THE next morning, Mac was scheduled to arrive about eight thirty with the expected guests, and Brad was up and dressed. He heard the small floatplane before he saw it and made a beeline to the dock to await its arrival. As Mac circled on his approach, the two exchanged waves, and Brad watched as Mac effortlessly landed the small plane in the middle of the lake and taxied to the dock. After Brad secured the plane, Mac stepped out to help his passengers out of the plane.

  “How’s it going, Brad?”

  “Well, all in all, I think it’s going okay,” Brad responded. “A great deal has happened since you left. Let’s grab a bite of breakfast, and I’ll fill you in.”

  “Sounds like a plan. I’m starving,” Mac said.

  The two men walked the new guests to the lodge and left them at the front desk in Jake’s capable hands. They headed to the dining room, mouths watering for one of Zander’s famous Alaskan breakfasts. Jake and Zander noticed that Brad and Mac seemed genuinely happy to see each other, and they were both glad that Brad had someone he felt comfortable enough to confide in.

  As they ate, Brad filled Mac in on the cabin purchase and his plans to fly back to Anchorage, do a little banking, and fly back on Mac’s next trip. Mac was surprised at this quick decision, and Brad saw the concern in his eyes.

  “Mac, I know what you’re thinking. I can see that look in your eyes,” Brad said.

  “This is pretty sudden, Brad,” Mac said with an apprehensive tone in his voice.

  “I know it is, Mac. And to someone who hasn’t walked in my shoes for the last two years, it must seem like the craziest move. When Jeff was diagnosed, I sold my practice and devoted everything I had to helping him beat the cancer, but I failed miserably, and Jeff is….”

  Even as he whispered the words, “dead now,” they stuck in his throat.

  “And besides,” he continued, “there’s nothing left in Seattle but harsh and sad memories of a life I can no longer have. Sure, we have some great friends in Seattle that were very supportive during Jeff’s illness, but the life we shared with them is now over. If they want to see me, they can visit anytime, but I can’t go back there, and they’ll just have to understand.”

  “Listen, man,” Mac said. “I know it feels that way now, but believe me, in time it will feel different.”

  “Mac, I know you’ve been where I am now, but really think back. Honestly, did you believe at the time that things would change, get better?”

  Mac thought back to that painful time. “No, I can’t say that I did, but I didn’t have anyone who had actually experienced what I was feeling to help me through it.”

  “I know I’m lucky to have you as a friend, Mac, especially since you’ve experienced the same kind of loss that I just did, but I know I can’t go back. And if I can’t go back, the only other place to go is forward. I’m asking for your help and support, but if you can’t give it, I totally understand.” Brad threw his hands in the air. “But either way, I’m doing this. I’ve made up my mind. Jeff is gone and I made a promise to him, and this is the only way I know how to even start to keep it. I need this, Mac.”

  Mac sat there, silent, for a few minutes, and the two men simply looked at each other.

  “Okay,” Mac said. “You’ve got my support and anything else you need help with.”

  Brad smiled at Mac and said, “Thanks, man.”

  “So what’s your next move?” Mac asked.

  “Well, I’ve decided to close up our… my… oh hell, the house Jeff and I shared in Seattle and move here full time. I’ll need to sink my teeth into the cabin, and when you see it, you’ll see why.”

  “Can we see it this morning?” Mac asked.

  “I don’t see why not,” Brad said. “It’s empty and grown over, but not in terrible shape, and in a few days it will be mine.” His eyes filled up with tears as he said, “I feel like this is all I have, Mac.”

  With a knowing look, Mac reached over and, in a show of support, grabbed his forearm and squeezed.

  Brad smiled a weak smile and asked, “What time do we have to take off?”

  “Checkout time is eleven o’clock, so just after that,” Mac responded.

  Brad’s smile got a little bigger. “I think we have enough time. I’m sure Jake and Zander will let us borrow their truck. If we leave now, we can be back in plenty of time.”

  Mac stood and said, “Okay then, there’s a cabin I want to see.”

  Ten minutes later, they were on the road.

  Chapter 5

  AS THEY drove along the dirt road in silence, Mac glanced over and saw a hint of a smile on Brad’s lips and thought he looked a good bit better than he had when he’d arrived in Anchorage two days before. In all the years since he had met Brad and Jeff, he hadn’t noticed how damn tall and broad-shouldered Brad was. His shoulders, along with his tall, muscular frame, seemed to fill up the entire cab of the small truck. Mac suddenly felt guilty that he hadn’t offered to drive, as he thought Brad must have felt like he had to fold in half just to fit behind the wheel.

  In those earlier years
when Brad and Jeff would visit, usually in the spring or summer, he had noticed that they were great-looking guys. He remembered thinking that they were very fit and not the least bit gay-acting, if there was such a thing. All he knew about gay people was what he saw on the news or in some comedy sketch show on television, and that wasn’t usually very flattering.

  But now, as he looked closer at Brad, Mac noticed how handsome and rugged he was. He had never really noticed what guys looked like on a regular basis, so why now? He was suddenly perplexed and felt himself blush a little. Brad seemed to be built for the wilderness. His straight, blond, shoulder-length hair seemed to frame his rugged face, and why hadn’t he ever noticed those deep green eyes? He was hit with a startling thought—Oh my God, I’m checking Brad out?

  He was shaken out of his thoughts by what he soon realized was a whistle. Brad was whistling. That thought made him relax a little, because until that moment, he hadn’t realized just how worried he had been for Brad. He hadn’t wanted to show Brad, or Jake and Zander for that matter, that he was concerned about if Brad didn’t start to turn a corner and begin to make peace with his situation, Mac felt Brad would be in real trouble. He’d hoped that Brad would come around, and it appeared that he was starting to do just that.

  With Brad’s soft whistling steadily filling the little truck cabin, Mac again started to think about his previous realization. This sudden fascination with Brad has to have something to do with us sharing most of the night talking about and comparing our losses. Maybe it’s just part of the bonding process. Mac thought about how their conversation that night had affected him during his flight home the following morning. He had relived some painful memories of his own, of his beloved Lindsey, but as he always did when his past started to pull at him, he focused on working through the dull pain, and by the time he’d landed, he was back in control. That must be it. It has to be it, he thought. What the hell? He forced his thoughts back to the cabin. Could it be the same cabin Lindsey and I had dreamed of buying so many years ago? What are the odds?