Wings of Love

by Scotty Cade

  “Jake, this thing with Brad and me sharing the cabin isn’t going to work,” he explained. “I’m going back to Anchorage and, unfortunately, I have to resign as your lodge pilot.”

  “What are you talking about, Mac?” Jake said. “You’ve been with us since, well, almost the beginning.”

  “I know, and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, and I’m sorry,” Mac said as he hung his head. “When I get to Anchorage, I’ll make a few calls and see if I can hook you up with another pilot.”

  “Damn it, Mac,” Jake shouted. “We don’t want another pilot. What in the hell is going on with you and Brad? Zander and I picked up on something last night. Excuse me if I’m crossing the line here, but are you two romantically involved?”

  Mac looked up with tears in his eyes. “I’ve got to go, Jake. Jack is waiting at the plane, and besides, I’m sure Brad will fill you in. But please do me a favor and check on him. He’s a great guy, and he’s going to need you and Zander for a while. He’s not even over losing Jeff and now this.”

  Jake nodded, and Mac quickly turned away and rushed out of the door.

  Brad watched the little floatplane take off and fly away until it was totally out of sight. He went to the kitchen, poured himself another cup of coffee, and this time added a shot of brandy. He walked back out to the porch and sat in his normal chair. He glanced at Mac’s empty chair beside him, and totally lost it. He cried for Jeff, he cried for Mac, but mostly, he cried for himself. When he had no more tears, he walked inside to wash his face and heard a familiar voice.

  “Lake Hood Tower, this is November 4649 Delta requesting permission to land. Over.”

  Brad walked over to the VHF radio and turned it off.

  Chapter 28

  THE flight back to Anchorage was silent except for the chatter of the radio. There was another storm moving in the next day, and reports were being transmitted every fifteen minutes. Mac spent the entire flight thinking and worrying about Brad being alone at the cabin for another storm.

  Once they’d landed and taxied over to the dock, Mac brought the plane to a stop. He shut off the engine and turned to Jack.

  “Now, can I explain?” he asked.

  “Mac, please, I don’t want to hear it. I just want to pretend this whole thing never happened. I don’t ever want to discuss it or Brad Mitchell ever again. Okay?”

  Mac hung his head, crawled out of the pilot’s seat, and exited the plane. After removing their bags, he secured the plane, and he and Jack walked silently to his kiosk. As promised, he made a few calls and put the word out that Zander and Jake would be looking for a new pilot, but Christmas was a couple of weeks away, and he knew it would be difficult to find someone until the first of the year.

  “Mac, what are your plans for Christmas?” Jack asked in a very cold tone.

  “I don’t really have any,” Mac said. “Zoe-Grace is coming home for Christmas break at the end of the week, and I guess the three of us will do what we always do, unless you have other plans?”

  “No other plans,” Jack said. “I’ll call you in a couple of days. Later.”

  Instead of the usual hug they always exchanged when they said good-bye, Jack turned and walked away. Shocked at the change in Jack’s demeanor, Mac was suddenly full of resentment. Jack had made him choose between family and his first chance at happiness since Lindsey died, and now was treating him like a stranger. In that second, he also realized that he was nothing more than a coward who didn’t stand up for someone who loved him and, more importantly, whom he loved. Brad would never forgive him, and how could he ever ask him to? He watched Jack smugly walk toward his car, as he stood beside his empty truck. I should have beaten the shit out of the guy myself. The hell with him, he thought.

  I’ll fly back to the lake and make this right. But how can I show up there after what I’ve done to Brad? And even if I could muster up the courage to show my face, I don’t think that Brad even wants me anymore.

  He climbed into his truck and rested his arms and head on the steering wheel as the tears flowed freely. When he composed himself, he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot.

  WHEN Mac got home, there was a strange car in the driveway. He parked his truck on the street, grabbed his bag out of the back, and walked up the sidewalk. He put his key in the door, but before he could unlock it, the door flew open and Zoe-Grace jumped into his arms.

  “Daddy!” she screamed as she held on tightly.

  “Zoe?” He swung her around and said, “What are you doing here? You weren’t due home for another week.”

  “The semester finished up a little early, and I wanted to surprise you,” she said.

  Mac’s eyes again filled with tears, and he couldn’t help himself. He started sobbing on her shoulder.

  “Daddy, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, honey,” he said. “I’m just so happy to see you.”

  Zoe-Grace stepped back and looked Mac in the eyes. “What are you not telling me?” she asked.

  Mac noticed a young man standing in the doorway, observing the reunion.

  “Nothing,” he said. “Who do we have here?”

  “Dad, I want you to meet Zachary Williams. Zach, meet my dad, McGovern Cleary.”

  The two men shook hands.

  “Nice to meet you, Zach,” Mac said.

  “Same here, Mr. Cleary.”

  “My friends call me Mac.”

  Zoe jumped in, saying, “Daddy, I hope you don’t mind that I brought Zach home for the holidays.”

  “Of course not, the more the merrier,” he replied.

  “He has to leave on Christmas Eve, as he has to see his parents, but he can stay until then. Is that okay?”

  “Sure it is,” Mac said. “He can stay as long as he likes. Let’s take this inside,” he continued. “No need giving the neighbors more of a show than we need to.”

  Once inside, they made their way to the den and sat down. Mac sat in his favorite chair and Zoe-Grace sat next to Zach on the sofa.

  “I still can’t believe you’re here,” Mac said. “I apologize about the condition of the house. I’ve been at the lake for the last week. In fact, I wasn’t planning on coming home until next week, so I’m glad plans changed, or you and Zach would have been here alone.”

  “I’m glad too, and by the way, everything looks fine. How is the cabin?”

  “Not too good, honey,” Mac said. “But I’ll fill you in later.”

  “And Brad?” she asked.

  “About the same,” Mac said.

  Zoe frowned, but said, “Okay.”

  Mac looked at his daughter, and she seemed to be glowing.

  “Wow, you look great, honey,” Mac said.

  “Thanks, Dad,” Zoe said as she nervously entwined her fingers in Zach’s.

  Mac watched closely as the young couple beamed at each other. Mac couldn’t help but envy what appeared to be two very happy people.

  “Dad, we have some news,” Zoe said.

  Mac’s heart stopped. He sensed what was coming next, but he did his best to hold on to his composure.

  “Dad, Zach asked me to marry him last night, and I said yes,” she explained.

  “What? How long have you two known each other?” Mac asked.

  “A couple of years, Mr. Clear… I mean, Mac,” Zach said. “We dated casually during part of that time, but neither of us was ready to get too serious. About six months ago, we ended up in a class together, and the rest is history.”

  “Dad, I wanted to tell you about Zach, but we kept playing phone tag, and I didn’t want to tell you over voicemail.”

  Frozen in his seat, Mac looked at Zoe. His little girl was getting married.

  “Mac, I know this probably sounds sudden to you, but I love Zoe very much, and she loves me, and if you think about it, it really isn’t that sudden.”

  “It seems sudden enough to me. Are you sure about all of this?” Mac asked.

  “Yes, sir, we’re sure,” Zach said.
<
br />   “Dad, we’re about to start our first year of residency. I think we’re old enough to know when it’s right.”

  “You’re right, honey.” Mac stood. “Come over here and give your old man a hug,” he said.

  Zoe crawled into her father’s embrace and hugged him tightly around the neck. Zach stood and walked over to where the two were standing. Zoe released her father, and Mac shook Zach’s hand. “Welcome to the family,” he said as he eyed the young man. “You and I can talk later. Right now, we need to celebrate. Zoe, have you told your Uncle Jack yet?”

  “Not yet, I wanted to tell you first,” she said.

  “Why don’t you call him, while Zach and I open some bubbly?” Mac said.

  Zoe ran for the phone while Zach and Mac walked to the kitchen to see if he had some champagne in the fridge.

  “So, Zach, are your parents happy?” Mac asked. “I assume you told them while you were there last weekend,” he added.

  “Yes, sir, they love Zoe, and they are very happy for us,” Zach said.

  Zoe came back into the kitchen as Mac was popping the cork.

  “Uncle Jack didn’t answer, so I left him a message to call me,” she explained.

  Mac poured the champagne, and they toasted to a long, successful marriage.

  “So when is this event going to take place?” Mac asked.

  “We’re thinking about July of next year,” Zoe said. “And Dad, we think we’d like to get married up at the lake. I know how much Mom loved it there, and it would make me feel like she was there. Do you think Zander and Jake would let us take over the lodge and make a destination wedding out of it?”

  Mac panicked as the events of the day came rushing back to him. He tried to look calm and said, “I don’t see why not.”

  “So it’s all right with you?” she asked.

  “Whatever you want, honey, is fine with me,” he replied.

  Mac and Zach spent the rest of the day getting acquainted, while Zoe-Grace rummaged through the pantry, trying to find something she could put together for dinner. After they’d eaten pasta primavera and watched a little television, Zach excused himself and went to bed.

  Zoe again sat in her father’s lap.

  “Dad, please tell me what’s wrong,” she asked. “You’ve not been yourself since we arrived, and I know you’re trying to be happy for us, but something’s really bothering you.”

  Not able to contain himself, Mac started to cry. He held on to Zoe and sobbed for the second time today. Zoe held him and rubbed his back as he cried.

  “Daddy, please tell me what’s wrong. You know you can tell me anything, right?” she whispered. Mac tried to compose himself.

  “Does this have anything to do with the cabin or Brad?” she asked.

  “Zoe, a great deal has happened in the last six months that I need to tell you about,” Mac said.

  Zoe looked a little confused. “Okay, Dad.”

  Mac took a deep breath and said, “Zoe, you know I love you and you are the most important thing to me, right?”

  “Of course I know that. Daddy, now you’re starting to scare me.”

  Mac opened up to Zoe and told her how he and Brad had met. How they reconnected. How Brad lost Jeff. How they fell in love. And… finally, how he’d screwed it all up.

  Zoe got out of Mac’s lap and started to pace in front of the fireplace.

  “You and Brad?” she asked.

  Mac nodded. “Honey, we didn’t plan on it. In fact, it was the last thing on either of our minds. I’m not gay, and Brad was devastated after losing Jeff.”

  “Obviously you are gay, Dad, or at least bisexual. Did Mom know?”

  “Of course not. Hell, I didn’t even know. I’ve never been attracted to another man. In fact, I’ve never even looked at another person except your mother, until now.”

  “And how does all this make you feel, Daddy?”

  “Confused and scared,” he confessed. “But more importantly, how does this make you feel?”

  “I don’t know how I feel. I guess I’m still in shock,” she confessed. “It’s strange to think of you one way all my life, and then suddenly think of you another way. I guess I just need a little time to process all this.”

  “I know what you mean,” Mac said. “But I guess it really doesn’t matter now anyway. I let Brad down, and he’ll probably never forgive me. And besides, I have no interest in anyone else, male or female.”

  “But, Dad,” Zoe said, “just because I need time to process this, doesn’t mean I have a problem with it. I have lots of gay friends, and… I promised Zach that I wouldn’t spring this on you, but my future in-laws are gay.”

  “Are you serious?” Mac asked.

  “Yep,” Zoe said. “Zach is adopted, like me, and his dads are gay. They live in Seattle.”

  “No shit,” Mac said. “And you’re okay with that?”

  “Sure,” she said. “They are the nicest, most normal guys you’ll ever meet. I spent last weekend with them, and we all had a blast. I love them and I’d be a hypocrite if I turned my back on you just because you found happiness with a man, gay or not.”

  Mac stood and sat on the hearth next to Zoe. He put his arm around her and said, “I hope you know how much I love you.”

  “Dad, Mom and I always knew that you loved us, and when Mom was dying, she made you promise to move on with your life and be happy. I’m not sure this is what she had in mind, but happiness comes in many forms. What makes you think she wouldn’t want to see you in love again?” she asked.

  “Your Uncle Jack said—”

  Zoe interrupted him. “When have you started listening to Uncle Jack? Does his life seem that perfect to you? No, it’s a mess. Married, divorced, and he can’t seem to find a lasting relationship. Why would you take romantic advice from him? If you ask me, I think you were scared, and you used Uncle Jack as a scapegoat. Heck, at one point I even thought he might be gay, and I’m not quite convinced he’s not.”

  “Jack gay?” Mac asked. “But how do you explain his homophobic reaction to Brad and me?”

  “Many guys who are in the closet appear homophobic to keep their cover, but Dad, this isn’t about Uncle Jack. This is about you and Brad.”

  Mac thought about that for a minute, and she did have a point, about everything.

  “You must get your wisdom from your mother. I don’t know how I ever got through a day without you two helping me along,” Mac said. “But all this is a moot point, because there is no Brad and me. I really just needed to be honest with you.”

  “I’m not so sure, Dad. Go to him, tell him how you feel,” Zoe advised.

  Mac didn’t say anything for a few minutes while he thought this through. “But what if he doesn’t want me? What if I messed things up too badly?”

  “Then at least you’ll know,” she said.

  “You’re right. I’ve got to try and fix this. I’ll check the weather and see if I can fly up first thing in the morning, before the storm hits. Will you and Zach be here for a few days? I promise to be back before Christmas, and if this works out, do you mind if I bring Brad back with me?” Mac asked with a new excitement in his voice.

  “I don’t mind at all, and don’t worry about Zach and me, we’ll be fine,” she said. “Go and get Brad.”

  Mac looked Zoe in the eyes. “I love you, Zoe-Grace Cleary.”

  “I love you too, Daddy.”

  Mac went to his bedroom. He undressed and crawled into bed. He laid his head on his pillow and thought of Brad. He must be so alone and hurt, and it’s all because of me. I’ve got to make it up to the lake tomorrow before the storm. I just have to.

  Chapter 29

  BRAD had passed out on the couch after several glasses of brandy, and woke with a horrible headache. He rummaged around in his medical bag until he found some aspirin, popped a few, and then downed a glass of water. It was three o’clock in the afternoon when he heard a knock at the door.

  He ran for the door, half-expecting to see
Mac standing there, but was disappointed when it was Zander and Jake.

  “Hey, guys,” Brad said. “Come in.”

  Zander jumped right in. “Brad, please tell us what’s going on between you and Mac,” he said.

  “What did Mac tell you?” Brad asked.

  “All he said was that it didn’t work out between you two, and that he had to resign, and we needed to find another pilot,” Jake said. “Oh, and he asked us to check on you.”

  “Really,” Brad said. “That was so nice of him. Look, guys, I consider you both very good friends, and I’m really sorry about his resigning, but I didn’t ask him to do that.”

  “We consider both of you good friends as well, and it doesn’t really matter whose decision it was to resign, but we would really like to know why and what’s going on,” Zander said.

  “Since Mac asked you to check on me, then he involved you in this saga, so I guess you have a right to know.”

  They all sat down, and Brad filled them in on the entire story, from the great beginning to the horrible ending. When he was finished explaining the story, the cabin was silent. Brad wiped a lone tear from his cheek and pulled his knees up against his chest and shivered. Zander was the first to speak.

  “Jake and I picked up on something between you guys last night, but we had no idea it had gotten so serious,” he said.

  “I think it snuck up on us as well,” Brad said. “The last thing I was looking for when I landed up here was a relationship, especially one with a straight man. But this thing came out of nowhere, and I don’t think either of us saw it coming. We both fought it, and we both struggled with it, until we finally gave in. In hindsight, I should have packed my bags and hightailed it out of Dodge the first time he kissed me.”

  “Maybe Mac just needs some time,” Jake said.

  “I don’t know,” Brad said. “I said some pretty harsh things to him when he left. I told him if he chose to leave with Jack, that he shouldn’t come back. Did I mention that I beat the shit out of Jack?” Brad asked.

  “Really?” Zander and Jake said simultaneously.

  “Yep, he called me a fairy loverboy, so I knocked the hell out of him. He swung at me and missed, and I flattened him. Damn, it felt good. So now you know the story.”