Discovering Lucy

by Laura Dunaway

  I lowered my eyes as the understanding of how he could have taken that hit me. He chuckled as he raised his head from mine and ran his knuckles over my cheek. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he lowered his mouth to mine.

  My arms went around his neck, and I ran my tongue along the seam of his lips, making him groan. He opened his mouth, letting me in, and wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me onto my tiptoes. When he bit down on my lower lip, liquid pooled in my core, making me moan. He sucked harder and ran his tongue along the inside of my lower lip. I felt my world start to tip over, but his strong arms held me. I pulled my lips from his and leaned my head on his chest as I tried to catch my breath. I felt him rest his chin on top of my head, his hand stroking up and down my back.

  “I’d better leave now before I drag you back to my car and have my way with you,” he told me huskily. A part of me wanted him to do just that, but I knew I wasn’t ready. I had only been with one man before and most of our encounters had been anything but pleasant. While I knew it would be different with Knox— if it ever happened—it was way too soon.

  I looked up at him, and saw him looking back at me, full on desire in his eye. “Thank you for the ride home,” I whispered, barely able to find my voice. I was still seeing stars from his kiss.

  “Thank you for letting me. We’ll talk later about how to get you home each night you close at Armstrong’s.” When I opened my mouth to argue, he rested a finger over my lips, shushing me. “Humor me, Lucy.” When I didn’t argue, he dropped his hand. “The gala starts at six thirty tomorrow night. I’ll be here to pick you up at six o’clock sharp. I can’t wait to see you in that dress again.”

  “Okay, I’ll be ready.” I dug through my purse to find my keys, then punched the code to open the door. I turned to Knox, sad to say good-bye, but also feeling the need for some alone time. There was still so much we didn’t know about each other, and I needed to be careful.

  He pushed some hair behind my shoulder. “I love how your hair shines in the moonlight…I’ll see you tomorrow, Lucy.” He leaned over and gave me a soft kiss on my cheek, then walked to his car. I watched him get in and shut the door, then continued to watch as Maxwell drove away from the curb until his taillights were no longer visible.

  I stood against the open door to my building, the sounds of New York traffic and nightlife all around me, but the only thing I could hear was the sound of his voice.

  I had just settled into bed, when I heard my phone vibrate. I picked it up and smiled.

  Knox

  Can’t stop thinking about you

  I slid down further under the covers, thrills shooting through my body.

  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

  I pushed send, smiling as I waited for him to respond. My phone vibrated immediately.

  Oh it’s a good thing, Lucy

  I felt the fire erupt in my belly. Damn my heart. Damn you, Knox Taylor.

  I’m glad I could be of service

  You can’t hear it, but I’m groaning. Remember me telling you to be careful with your words, babe?

  Babe? I loved it.

  Yes, I remember

  Why, Lucy, I do believe you’re teasing me again

  Me?

  Yeah, you

  You caught me

  Always. Get some sleep. I can’t wait for tomorrow night. Thank you for agreeing to go with me.

  I was crazy to have agreed to it. I had no idea how to act at a gala. I was born and raised in the small town I’d left a few months ago. The only fancy thing going on there was prom each year.

  My phone vibrated again.

  Stop analyzing it and just let yourself have fun for once

  I rolled my eyes. Seriously, how does do that?

  Fine. I’m going to sleep now, Casanova. Sweet dreams.

  I totally smirked as I typed that last part and hit send.

  Seriously, groaning here. Goodnight xx

  Maybe he was right—maybe it was time I lightened up and had fun for once. I had left my life with Drake behind, so I could stop living in fear and find out what living life really felt like. Easier said than done.

  Images of Drake pulling my hair back, then pushing me to the floor, the toe of his dirty work boot digging in my back, flooded my memory. I gasped as I remembered the awful searing pain.

  “Did you like that guy at the diner tonight, Lucy Jane?” Drake seethed as he pulled my hair in a fierce grip. “Did you like the attention? Did you want to go to his bed tonight?”

  He pulled harder, making me cry out.

  “No,” I cried, my eyes closed so tight, not wanting him to see my tears. “Drake, please,” I whispered.

  He tugged. “Please what, whore? Did you want me to pull harder? Huh?” he yelled as he wrenched my head back so fast that my whole body burned. “I will not be made a fool of, Lucy Jane, especially by you of all people. Seems as though you still need a lesson in how to respect your boyfriend.”

  I screamed as I saw his fist heading for my face.

  “NO!” I cried out. I sagged in relief when I realized I was in my own bed, that Drake wasn’t there, that I was safe.

  Knox isn’t Drake.

  Knox isn’t Drake.

  Was there a part of Drake inside of Knox somewhere? Was he capable of hurting me too?

  THE NEXT EVENING, I PACED back and forth in our small living room. Megan was sitting on the couch, trying not to laugh at me. My hair was down in soft waves with a strand put up on the side with a diamond-encrusted bobby pin. My eyes were done in soft-gray shadows, giving me a smoky look. Megan had insisted I apply extra mascara because it would really make my eyes “pop”. I refused to wear the deep-red lipstick she tried to shove on me, instead going with my favorite soft pink. I was in the dress from the vintage clothing store Knox had given me, and a pair of gray, strapped heels borrowed from Megan. Lucky for me, we wore the same shoe size.

  “Would you please sit down and try to relax?” Megan asked, rolling her eyes.

  I stopped pacing for a second and scowled at her. “Megan, what am I doing? I’ve never been to anything like this before! I’m going to call him and cancel. I should have just said no when he asked.” I pulled my phone out from my clutch and scrolled to find his number. Suddenly, I felt the phone being ripped from my hands, startling me.

  “Don’t you dare, Simmons,” Megan scolded me, holding my phone hostage. “I don’t know what’s happened to you in the past to make you so scared of men, but Knox is one of the good guys, and I’ll be damned if I let you throw him away.”

  “No man cares about your happiness.”

  “You are such a stupid bitch!”

  I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped pacing back and forth and sat down in my favorite chair. My heart was beating a mile a minute.

  “Well, at least I got her to sit down,” I heard Megan mutter under her breath and I shot her a dirty look.

  “I’ve been through…a lot, Megs,” I started out of nowhere, choking on the words.

  Her head shot up to look at me, her eyes confused. “What do you mean?”

  I sat back on the chair and closed my eyes. I couldn’t cry, I didn’t want to ruin my makeup. Taking a deep breath, I uttered, “I never knew my father, and my mother wasn’t exactly maternal. She never stopped telling me that you can’t depend on men, that they don’t give a shit about our happiness, that they only want one thing. I grew up having to deal with her bitterness. She was actually a fairly decent mother until I entered high school, then she just checked out. She pretty much just went to work and spent her time with her latest boyfriend of the week.”

  Megan scooted on the couch closer to where I sat. Her eyes bore sympathy, and surprise. “Jeez, Lucy, I can’t imagine. I thought you said she hated men though.”

  A laugh escaped my throat. “She did. Weird, right? She hated them, but also couldn’t get enough of them if that makes any sense.”

  “You never once met your dad?”

  I s
hook my head. “No, he bailed on my mom the moment she told him she was pregnant with me. That obviously didn’t help her attitude with the opposite sex.”

  She ran a hand down her face. “Wow. I’m so sorry, Lucy. Was your mother…” She looked at me with apprehension.

  “What?” I questioned, wanting her to continue.

  She looked away. “Was your mother abusive toward you?”

  I couldn’t help but give a hollow laugh. She looked at me, her eyes full of questions. “Not in the physical sense. I mean, no, she really wasn’t. Maybe her continual negative attitude toward everything, and when she pretty much stopped being a mother when I entered high school, could be considered some sort of abuse, but no, she never beat me.”

  I saw her swallow as she nodded. “Okay, that’s good.”

  “Someone else did though,” I whispered, my head starting to spin.

  That made her bolt up. “What did you say?”

  I turned my head away. I wouldn’t be able to tell her if I had to look at her. “Someone else did, Megan. My ex-boyfriend, the reason I left home and moved to New York.”

  She must have sensed I couldn’t see her face because she didn’t move to sit by me. “Lucy, what happened?” she whispered.

  I started to twist my hands in my lap. “I was nineteen and working at the local movie theater. He came in with his friends one day and ordered popcorn. I thought he was the cutest guy I’d ever seen, and fell instantly. After his movie ended, he asked me out, and we were inseparable ever since. The first six months were amazing, Megs. He treated me like a princess, always told me how lucky he was to have me, would write me little notes and leave them for me to find, stuff like that. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. Then little signs started to show, you know? He’d lose his temper, call me names, things he hadn’t done before. I was confused, but brushed it aside because he was so stressed out at work. One day he came home in a terrible mood. I couldn’t do anything right. He yelled at me for not having anything for dinner, he yelled at me when I asked him what I could do to help, he just kept yelling. He hit me across my cheek, making me fall to the ground. I was stunned. I remember just looking up at him, my hand to my face. I couldn’t move. He immediately dropped to the ground and pulled me in his arms, apologizing over and over, begging me to forgive him. I was numb, Megan. I forgave him. I didn’t know what else to do. And I forgave him over and over and over, until finally, I was done. After his last beating, I realized this was what my life would be if I didn’t get out while I still could. I left him, and I didn’t look back.”

  I finally looked at Megan—her eyes were red, and her hands covered her mouth. “Lucy,” she whispered. She slowly stood up and came over to me, sitting on the ottoman in front of me. “Oh my gosh, Lucy, I had no idea.” She leaned over and brushed some hair behind my ear. “I knew you’d been through something, I knew, but I had no idea.”

  “How could you have known? It’s not like I walk around with a sign on my forehead. It’s not something I like to talk about.”

  “Did you ever call the cops?”

  “I got a protective order against him when I finally left. He violated it a few days after being served, and his ass was thrown in jail for one night. One night, Megan. I realized then that it didn’t mean much, so I moved, and to my knowledge, he has no idea where I am.”

  She reached over to me and wrapped me in her arms. “You are so brave.”

  That struck a chord. I was anything but brave. I pulled away and looked at her. “I’m nothing of the sort. I stayed with him for three years, Megan. I didn’t leave after he hit me the first time. I didn’t leave after he left me the second, or the third. I lost count of how many times he had beat me before I left. That’s not brave, that’s pathetic.”

  She grasped my shoulders, forcing me to look at her. “No, no way, don’t you ever think that way. Some women never leave, Lucy, but you did. No matter what you think, that’s brave. Did you have anyone there? Where was your mom?”

  I frowned. “My mom? She still lives there. When I’d moved in with Drake, I didn’t have much to do with her. The few times I saw her, she’d ask about my bruises, and one time she point blank asked me if he hit me. Of course, before I could answer, she went on about how men were losers and how they don’t care about us. Blah, blah, blah. When she finally finished, I just told her I fell down some stairs and that I had to go. She checked out on me years before, Megan. I couldn’t depend on her even if I tried to.”

  “Oh, Lucy…I am so sorry, for everything. You have me now, and Sean. You can depend on us. You know that, right?”

  I gave a small smile. “Yeah, I do. Thank you.”

  “What about Knox?”

  I stiffened. “What about him?”

  She reached over and put her hand over mine. “I think you know what I mean. He seems to be somebody you can depend on.”

  “No, no way. Not yet.” When she started to argue, I held my hand up. “Megan, I’ve lived with you for months now, but I just told you what happened. I’ve known him what, a few weeks? Are you serious? And honestly, why is he even interested in me? I don’t get it. I’m not that educated, and I come from a small town no one has heard of. Why me?”

  If I hadn’t been looking at her, I would have missed the look that came over her eyes. She knew something. “What is it, Megs?”

  “What?” she responded, trying to pretend she didn’t know what I meant.

  “Seriously, what do you know? You are so transparent, you can’t hide anything.” That was one of the first things I’d learned about Megan—she could never hide anything or tell lies. It was a great quality, and it was coming in handy at that moment.

  She sighed, running a hand through her auburn curls. “It’s nothing really.” She sighed again. “He really likes you, Lucy.”

  “How do you know?” I asked her. “Did you ask him?”

  Her eyes grew wide in surprise. “Oh, hell no,” she said, making my heart slow down a bit in relief. “I’d never do that to you, Lucy, you know that. He, um…”

  “He what?”

  She blew her bangs out of her face, giving in. “He sort of talked to me.”

  He talked to her? When?

  “Do you remember that day when I came to see you at Armstrong’s and I bought some facial cleanser?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, on my way out, I ran into him and he asked if he could talk to me for a minute. It took me by surprise, but I said yes, and he took me to the cafe and bought me a coffee.”

  My head was reeling with this new piece of information.

  “So anyway, he just thanked me for taking the time to talk and asked me a few things about you—“

  “What kind of things?” I was extremely nervous and a bit annoyed.

  She waved her hand. “Nothing bad, Lucy, I promise. I mean, you of all people know you aren’t the easiest person to get to know. Hell, I’ve lived with you for a few months, and I still don’t know much about you…until now.”

  “I know,” I said quietly, twisting my hands and looking at my lap.

  “So basically, he asked about you, your background. He wasn’t too surprised to hear that I didn’t know much more than he does, Lucy.” I looked up to see her looking straight at me, compassion in her eyes.

  “What else?” I whispered.

  She looked away for a moment, and then looked back at me. “Listen,” she sighed, “it was a short conversation. He asked me if I thought he was going too fast because he didn’t want to scare you away. He kept running his hand through his hair, trying to find the right words to explain his feelings for you. It was really cute.”

  It made me smile a little. He always ran his hand through his hair when he was nervous or frustrated.

  “I asked him his intentions, and I told him that I’m very protective of you and that while I still didn’t know much, we are close, and I’d kick his ass if he hurt you.”

  That made me smile even more. “Thanks, Megs.”


  She scooted closer to me. “Of course, girl. We’re besties, it’s what we do. So anyway, he told me he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you, and that he really likes you. I know this is Knox Taylor, CEO of his huge consulting business with millions of stupid girls like Mindy after him, but he’s legit. He seems super sweet and sincere. He said he felt it the first time he saw you behind the counter at Armstrong’s and knew he had to get to know you. What guy says that, Luce? I melted, and he wasn’t even talking about me.”

  I chuckled, trying to process all she was telling me.

  “I told him he sounded like the cheesy romance movies,” she went on, “which made him laugh. He’s scared of going too fast, of pushing you away. We both know you’ve been through something difficult in your past, Lucy, and he doesn’t want to do anything to hurt you or make you uncomfortable. I told him that I think he’s good for you, and to please keep trying. He said he couldn’t go anywhere if he tried. He really likes you, girl, so don’t throw this away.”

  Things were moving fast, really fast, but it felt good. It felt right.

  “Lucy,” Megan interrupted my thoughts. “Stop over-thinking it, and just go with it for once. I’m not saying he’s the one, but I’m also not saying he isn’t. Just give him a chance to find out. I’ll never push you to tell him what you just told me, but I will say I know without a doubt that he’d be there for you, and that he’d be able to help you in a way no one else could. You can trust him, Lucy.”

  A knock sounded on the door, making both of us jump a bit and breaking the moment. I leaned over and hugged Megan, thanking her for being such a good friend.

  I went into the bathroom as she answered the door, and looked at my reflection. Surprisingly, my makeup was safe, and my hair was still styled perfectly. How did I not cry telling Megan my story? I took a few deep breaths as I heard Knox and Megan chatting. His voice had always had a calming affect over me, and right then was no exception. I needed to feel calm then more than ever, and Megan’s words came back to me about him. You can trust him, Lucy. I reached up to smooth my dress down, then walked out of the bathroom.