First Mates

by Cecelia Dowdy

  “What’s wrong with Rainy?” he muttered. He opened his eyes and enjoyed the cool dark air-conditioned room.

  A group of Hispanic teenagers entered the discotheque, chattering in their native tongue. They regarded him with curiosity before they haphazardly moved glasses and cups, seemingly searching for a lost item. He sighed as he relaxed. He finally stood and exited the deserted discotheque. Everything would be just fine between him and Rainy Jackson. It just had to be.

  Weak sunlight spilled into the room as Rainy awakened the following morning. She blinked, forcing herself out of bed. She was tormented with dreams about Jordan, awakening every hour. She plodded to the bathroom and gazed at her face in the mirror. She looked awful! Her eyes were red and puffy and her throat felt as parched as a desert.

  Brushing her teeth, she recalled the itinerary for the day. They were docking in Grand Cayman, one of the most popular islands to visit. She looked forward to seeing this exquisite place in spite of her sadness. She changed into her bathing suit and packed her bag. She groaned as she left her cabin, fatigue settling in her bones. She pictured herself on the beach, napping all day. Her lips curled into an anticipatory smile.

  She trudged onto the empty deck. She paced and glanced at her watch. Where was the first ferryboat to Grand Cayman? Minutes later, passengers flooded the deck. She scanned the crowd and was glad she didn’t see Winston.

  After she boarded the ferryboat, she removed her book from her bag and tried to read. Passengers chatted as the motor started. Someone sat beside her. She scooted to give the passenger more room. “Hi, there.” Her heart skipped a beat as she gazed at Winston. His presence was like a spark of light on a dark day. He gave her a sad smile. “You look sleepy.”

  “What are you doing here? I didn’t see you before I got on the boat.” With shaky hands, she placed the book in her bag and removed her sunglasses. She placed the shades over her eyes.

  “I was the last person to get on just before the ferry left. I guess you didn’t see me. I really need to speak with you. Can we go someplace for breakfast when we dock?” Pain, raw and fresh, glittered in his hazel eyes, and she couldn’t refuse his request. Visions of the beautiful lady at the pool cluttered her mind. Did Winston really want to continue spending time together on the cruise, or was this just an act? Was he already on a quest to find another date for the remainder of the trip?

  The ferry stopped and clusters of people disembarked. They were the last patrons to exit the boat. “Please have breakfast with me,” he pleaded.

  She sighed, rubbing her back. I’m so hot and tired! “Okay.”

  Passengers cluttered the sidewalk, gazing at natives hawking their wares. Children clogged the street, selling a wide range of merchandise. Rainy reached into her purse and purchased a cotton scarf from a toothless boy for a few dollars.

  They walked in silence for several minutes before they stopped at a restaurant and ordered coffee and sweet rolls. She poured cream and sugar in her coffee before she sipped the fragrant beverage.

  Winston brushed away a stray fly as he fixed his coffee.

  Licking her dry lips, she gazed at the rich gooey cinnamon buns. Her heart pounded as he touched her hand. His light caress calmed her frazzled nerves. She relaxed as she gazed into his eyes.

  “Rainy, please tell me what’s wrong.”

  She closed her eyes, saying a silent prayer. She took a deep breath and told him how her apprehensions returned after they spent the wonderful day together in Cozumel. “I had not felt that happy since I’d dated Jordan. Everything seemed to be moving so fast and I just needed some time alone.”

  “I see.” He gazed at the table, toying with a napkin.

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just felt so confused.”

  “You shouldn’t judge every man you meet just from your experience with Jordan. Not all men would treat you that way, especially a Christian man.”

  She sipped her coffee and placed her cup back on the table. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  He continued to give her his attention.

  “I wanted to know if you were really a Christian.”

  He turned away. “I told you I was a Christian the first night we met. Are you asking me if I was lying to you?” His voice wavered with anger and hurt. The server turned the music louder as he danced to the Jamaican tune while wiping the counter.

  She barely glanced at the server as she abandoned her meal. “So many people in this world profess to be Christians, but then it turns out to be just talk.”

  He sighed and ran his hand over his clean-shaven face. “Why are you asking me this now?”

  She nervously stirred her coffee. “When I first met Jordan, I could tell that he liked me. When I invited him to my church and told him how I had accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, he said that he had done the same thing.” She paused as she put her spoon aside. “Anyway, we worshipped together every Sunday and he even went to Bible study with me. When we broke up, he said he had done all of that just to please me. He said he’d acted the part of a Christian because he loved me so much and he knew how much I wanted a Christian man in my life.”

  He shrugged his broad shoulders. “You are a beautiful woman and you’re intelligent, too. I’m not advocating what Jordan did, but I can understand why someone would go through such measures just to have a woman like you in his life.”

  She folded her arms in front of her chest, glaring at him. “But don’t you think it’s awful? Jordan claimed that he shared my faith and it turned out that it was all a lie.”

  He waited a few minutes, seemingly weighing his words. “Yes, what Jordan did to you was pretty awful. One should never profess a strong belief in Christ when it doesn’t exist. I’m merely saying that a man will sometimes go through extreme measures when he cares about a woman.”

  “Jordan didn’t care about me. He only cared about himself. He was a selfish and cruel man.” Saying the words left a bad taste in her mouth. Winston stared, seemingly surprised by her outburst.

  “So your boyfriend didn’t care about you?” His voice was loaded with curiosity.

  “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t want to ruin such a beautiful day talking about Jordan.”

  They continued to sip coffee and munch on sweet rolls. The server returned to their table and refilled their cups. As she ate her breakfast, she thought about Winston’s advice.

  He continued when the server left. “Relationships don’t always work out. Sometimes you have to lean on God and pray for the strength and guidance to move on.”

  She sighed and rubbed her forehead. Did she even want to tell him more details about her relationship with Jordan? She certainly didn’t want Winston’s pity. God had blessed them with a glorious and beautiful day. The blue ocean sparkled under the bright morning sun, beckoning them to the pristine beaches. “Like I said before, I don’t want to talk about my relationship with Jordan. I just want to let you know that it was more serious than just a casual dating relationship. That’s all I’m going to say for now.”

  “Okay.” He nodded and squeezed her hand.

  “Another reason I’ve been avoiding you is because you don’t tell me a lot about yourself. There’s so much about you that I don’t know. Sometimes I get the impression that you’re hiding something from me.”

  “What did you want to know?”

  “Well, remember when you said that I looked sad sometimes?”

  He nodded.

  “Well, I think you look sad sometimes, too, and I wanted to know why.”

  “I know I promised to tell you more about myself, and I will…soon. I want us to just have some fun on the island today.” He paused, staring at a spot on the table. “I promise I’ll tell you when the time is right. This is one of the most difficult times in my life and I’m having a hard time coping with the pain.”

  She squeezed his hand, wanting to give him strength. She felt bad about focusing so much on her own pain when he could
be hurting just as much. “Did you just end a relationship, too?”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s nothing like that. I’ll tell you about it soon,” he repeated. “It’s such a beautiful day that I don’t want to ruin it by talking about something so sad.” He looked away, and she thought she saw his hazel eyes glisten with tears. However, it was so quick that she wondered if she imagined it.

  “I’m so sorry you’re hurting.” Her heart went out to him. “I just wish I could lift our pain and make it disappear.” She sighed. “Only God could perform such acts. Maybe we should pray together. Nothing works as good as prayer when you’re hurting.” He nodded and took both of her hands.

  His deep voice was calm and soothing as he prayed to their Heavenly Father. He prayed for guidance during their difficult time. He prayed that they could be lifted from their sorrows, if only for one day. Her soul felt cleansed as she squeezed his hand and said “Amen.”

  “Are you ready to have a wonderful day?” she asked as they stood and he left money on the table for the bill. He nodded and grinned as they walked out the door. She spotted the beautiful woman he’d been speaking to the previous day. She was giggling and flirting with an older man. When Rainy stopped walking, Winston gave her a questioning look.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She stepped away from him. “I have something else that was on my mind.” They stood on the sidewalk enshrouded among throngs of people. “I saw you on the deck yesterday talking to that pretty lady.”

  He looked puzzled as he gave her his undivided attention. “What pretty lady?” She again wondered if he was just putting on an act.

  “You know, that lady on the deck.”

  Chuckling, he continued walking down the street. “What’s so funny?” She planted her feet, refusing to walk any farther.

  “You’re funny. That woman was flirting with me. If you had stuck around long enough, you would have seen me leave her after a few minutes of small talk. Her name is Carol, and I think she came on this cruise to find a man.”

  “So, this Carol woman was flirting with you?”

  He chuckled again. “Of course. Listen, whenever I travel alone I always have at least one woman proposition me for a date. Hey, I’m a good-looking man, so it’s something you have to get used to,” he said with a smile. But she couldn’t get accustomed to women flirting with Winston. “I’m sure you have the same problem.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  He continued to smile as she gazed at him. “Yes, you do. Haven’t you noticed the men ogling you since we’ve been on this cruise?”

  “They have?” She furrowed her forehead as they continued to walk. “No, I guess I haven’t noticed.”

  “Well, I have. Do you know what I was worried about when you said you needed a break for the day?” They turned a corner. She barely noticed the throngs of people as they passed by. She was in a secluded world with Winston.

  “What?”

  “Well, I was worried that you would find another companion. I thought you wouldn’t want to see me anymore during the entire trip.” He stopped walking and gave her an intense look. She breathed the humid summer air, trying to calm her thudding heart.

  “I don’t think you realize just how beautiful you are. We’ve been on this sidewalk for close to fifteen minutes and two men have already taken a second look at you. I am very glad to hear that you were jealous to see me with Carol.”

  Her lips curved into a smile. “Why?”

  “Well, since you were jealous, it at least shows that you care about me and about our friendship.”

  He continued, “And when we dock in Miami, I plan to continue seeing you, that is, if you have no objections.”

  She smiled, gripping the handle of her purse. “I definitely have no objections.”

  “Let’s just have a good time today, okay?”

  She nodded eagerly, looking forward to the day.

  A cab escorted them to the beach and she enjoyed the warm sand swishing through her toes as they walked the shoreline. Being with Winston wrapped her with warm wonderful feelings. Feelings she hoped and prayed would develop into something beautiful. She opened her camera and caught Winston’s essence on film.

  All too soon, evening arrived. He unzipped his backpack, producing two tickets to a sunset buffet. “Do you want to go?” He waved the slips of paper in the air.

  “Are you sure we’ll be back in time to board the boat?”

  Grinning widely, he tilted his head toward the ticket booth. “I’ve already checked things out while you were laying on the beach. We’ll be back in plenty of time to get back on our boat. I’ve already made all of the arrangements.”

  Hours later, they entered the restaurant with several couples. An open bar graced the reception area and mouthwatering Cayman foods were arranged in elaborate crystal bowls. Her stomach growled, reminding her she had not eaten since breakfast. She piled her plate with fresh crabmeat, lobster, rice and potatoes. Luscious fruit-filled desserts topped their meal. Rainy was about to enjoy her first bite of strawberry pie when Winston placed his hand over hers. “No, don’t eat that yet.”

  “Why?” As she held her fork in midair, she wondered if he’d lost his mind.

  “Because I’ve been wanting to do something since I first met you, but I’ve been too embarrassed to ask.”

  “Well, what did you want to do?” Her mouth watered for her strawberry pie. Layers of fresh berries and cream cheese were encased in the piecrust.

  “I want to feed you.”

  Her eyes widened as she gazed at the other people sitting on the boat, enjoying their meal. “Feed me? Why?”

  He shrugged. “I know how much you want that pie, and feeding it to you will make me so happy.”

  He removed the fork from her fingers before feeding her the first bite of luscious pie. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sweet, tangy flavor. Winston relished the next bite. Back and forth they enjoyed the sweet treat until the fork scraped the crumbs from the plate. With a large ivory napkin, he brushed the crumbs from her lips. They then strolled to an outdoor deck.

  The glowing sun dipped in the sky, turning the luminescent day into fading twilight. He placed his arm around her waist as they watched the horizon.

  As the golden globe finally dipped over the horizon, she closed her eyes, basking in the happiness of being with Winston.

  Soon, they walked back to the beach. Rainy’s footsteps were weary as they managed to find the last ferry to the cruise ship.

  Passengers’ voices chimed with delight as they talked about their day, the velvet blackness of the sky a testimony to the late hour. Rainy and Winston’s silence was filled with peace and comfort.

  After they entered the deck of the cruise ship, Rainy walked around, suddenly full of energy. “I guess I shouldn’t have had all that coffee during dinner. You know there’s no midnight buffet this evening.”

  “Did you want to spend the rest of the evening together? We could sit on deck and have something to drink.”

  “That sounds like a good idea.”

  “Why don’t we go back to our rooms and drop our stuff off,” he suggested. “I’ll walk you to your room first.” She nodded. They walked to her room, and she dropped her beach bag into her room and then she accompanied Winston to his room. She followed him into the cabin, anxious to see his private quarters. As soon as she entered she saw the empty bottle and she stopped, shocked.

  “Winston, what’s this?” His smile melted as she lifted the empty liquor bottle.

  Chapter Five

  Winston cringed as she gazed at the empty liquor bottle. Rainy’s mouth dropped open as she fingered the thick container.

  “Winston?”

  “I think you’d better sit down. It’s going to be a long night.” He pulled out a chair. After she sat, he opened a large bottle of water. He poured the beverage into foam cups.

  She leaned her elbow against the desk, cupping her chin in her hand. Had God led her to this room tonigh
t to show her that Winston was a phony Christian like Jordan?

  “I know you’re probably upset and surprised, but could you just hear me out? Promise me you won’t pass judgment about anything until I’m finished speaking, please?” His hazel eyes were full of warmth and compassion, and she forced herself to open her mind and heart, and listen to his words.

  “I know I haven’t told you a lot about myself since we’ve been on this cruise. I know all about you and your life on the farm. You’ve told me about how you came to accept Christ when you were twelve.” He paused and stared through the window.

  “When I went away to college, it was the first time I’d ever lived away from home. I was nervous. I just wanted to continue to make good grades in school and I missed my folks.” He sipped his water.

  “Well, when I was away at college, I found that I was nervous before exams. My roommate suggested that I try having a few drinks before I studied the night before a test. I was never a drinker before because my parents forbade it. However, I went ahead and tried his advice once. I found that the alcohol did relieve some of my anxiety.”

  He paused for several seconds before continuing. “Anyway, from that moment on, I found that whenever I wanted to drown my pain and sorrows, I drank alcohol. Remember that woman I was involved with, the one I told you about earlier on the cruise? I’d mentioned that she joined the Peace Corps.”

  She nodded. “You said her name was Tonya.”

  “That’s right. Well, I started drinking even more after she left. I managed to graduate from school and start working, but it took me a while to admit that I had a problem and to do something about it. I joined Alcoholics Anonymous and I started to lean on God. During my college years and a short time after that, I had almost abandoned God and I paid for it. I fell by the wayside. But then I joined a church in the area in which I’d relocated and I visited my pastor.” He finished his water and he began to rip the foam cup into tiny pieces. “Anyway, Pastor Jake reminded me that we’re all sinners. When we mess up, we just need to confess our sins and ask God to forgive us.”