“No, I want you to take a nap with me,” Nell said.
“Oh.” Zing stood rigid and still. She licked her lips and said in croaky voice, “Do I have to take off my shoes?”
“Yes, people usually do that,” Nell said.
Zing slipped off her Crocs and stood awkwardly. “Okay, I’m ready.”
Nell took Zing’s hand and led her to the bedroom. Nell had a nice bedroom. The walls were painted light blue and the bed had a bedspread covered in sunflowers and pale yellow pillows. The dresser and nightstands were painted bright yellow. The blinds on the windows were white louvers. The room made Zing feel like she was standing in a field of yellow flowers under a sunny, blue sky.
Nell closed the blinds on the windows and the room dimmed.
“It’s a very pretty room,” Zing said.
“I like it.”
“I like it, too,” Zing said. She sat on the edge of the bed.
Nell climbed in on the other side. “Come, lie down with me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course, I wouldn’t have asked. Stop being so shy. You’ve known me my entire life.”
Zing eased back on the yellow pillows and stared up at the ceiling. She couldn’t look at Nell right now. She didn’t have the courage.
“I’ve wasted too much of my time on Dove.”
There was only the sound of their breathing and the ticktock of the clock on the nightstand.
Finally, Nell spoke again, “It’s you, isn’t it?”
Zing didn’t say anything.
“When you caught me from falling earlier, I saw it in your eyes. You love me.”
A tear leaked out of Zing’s eye. She brushed it away.
“You don’t have to answer. I knew it as soon as I looked at you. I guess I just had to get rid of Dove so I could see you,” Nell said.
Nell snuggled closer to Zing. “Hold me?” she asked.
Zing wrapped her arms around Nell and held her tightly. The room seemed to light up with Zing’s glow.
“You love me,” Nell said. “I can feel it.”
“I do.” Zing brushed her lips across Nell’s forehead.
“I feel so safe in your arms,” Nell said. “Hold me until I fall asleep.”
***
“Is she all right?” Miracle asked. She was cooking red beans and rice. Zing smelled the cornbread in the oven. Her mouth watered at the savory aromas.
“Yes, she was deeply asleep when I left her. I wrote her a note so she wouldn’t worry.”
“How’d you get home?”
“I walked.”
“That’s a long way.”
“Yes,” Zing said. She got a bottle of water from the fridge and gulped it. She choked.
Miracle pounded her on the back. “Whoa there, slow down. Did you learn that from Carol?”
Zing nodded, trying to get her breath back. When she could speak, she said, “She only does it when she’s nervous.”
“I’ve noticed that. When she’s relaxed, she sips.”
“Yes, like at the bakery when she’s making her fancy pastries. Baking makes her very happy and then she sips her coffee and makes yummy noises.”
“Are you nervous about somethin’?” Miracle asked. She peered in at the cornbread then pulled it out of the oven and stuck a knife in the middle of it. The knife came out clean.
“Why did you stab the cornbread?” Zing asked.
“To see if it was done. When the knife comes out with no batter stuck to it, it’s done.”
“And if it’s not?” Zing asked.
“If it comes out sticky, you bake it some more.” She looked at Zing curiously. “Kind of like life sometimes.”
“Like a clean knife means things are good,” Zing said.
“Yes.”
“Is your life with Carol a clean knife or sticky knife?”
“It’s mostly clean but there are still sticky parts. I think in matters of the heart there’s always a bit of sticky goin’ on.”
“Maybe Betty should use cornbread in her ceremonies instead of raw egg,” Zing said.
“You should suggest that when you talk to her.”
“Why would I talk to her?”
“Because I figured out how come she knows so much about guardian angels,” Miracle said. “And how she knew so much about you.”
“What do you mean?” Zing’s heart pounded.
“Because she is one. She’s a guardian angel, too.”
Zing shook her head. “But I would know.”
“Would you? You said yourself there are different departments at HQ. Maybe she’s in a different department.”
Miracle had a point.
Miracle continued, “Do you know every angel?”
“No. I couldn’t. There are billions. And we’re all over the place.”
“That proves my point. Maybe there are more guardian angels wandering around than we know.”
“Guardian angels don’t wander. They have specific purposes.”
“Exactly. Betty is a shaman angel. She cleanses people.”
“I’m confused,” Zing said. Tears leaked out of her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, but the tears came anyway. She couldn’t seem to stop them.
“What’re you confused about, darlin’?” Miracle asked. She sat down in a chair beside Zing.
“I don’t know my purpose. All I do is make donuts and love Nell.”
“Maybe that is your purpose.”
“Making donuts?”
“No. The loving Nell part.”
“Is that a purpose? I mean, is that enough?” Zing asked softly.
“I can think of no higher purpose than love, can you?” Miracle said.
***
Zing got out of the shower and was toweling her hair dry when she saw Annabelle sitting on the bathroom counter. The room was steamy so Annabelle looked like a small aurora borealis.
“You look good naked,” Annabelle said.
“Thanks, but it’s not like I chose how I look. I just became this when taking a human form.”
“I wonder what I’d look like.” Annabelle mused.
Zing pulled her white fluffy robe from the back of the bathroom door and slipped it on. She hadn’t noticed before but she felt sort of odd standing naked in front of someone else, even though it was Annabelle. “Would you like to be human?”
Annabelle knitted her brows in thought. Finally, she said, “I don’t think so.”
“Why not?” Zing asked. She leaned in and wiped a spot off the mirror so she could sort out her hair.
Annabelle scooted over. “Because being human is hard. You have so many emotions, worries, fears, and very little control over your life.”
“Well, when you put it that way,” Zing said. “Let’s get out of here. I’m feeling claustrophobic.” She led the way out of the bathroom and across the hall to her bedroom.
Annabelle continued talking, “You see? There’s even phobias—fear of small spaces, or open spaces, fear of spiders, fear of being afraid…”
Zing closed her bedroom door. “There’s one of those—fear of fear?” She put on her powder blue pajamas with the midnight blue piping.
“I don’t know for sure, but if not, it’d be a good one. I think I’d have that if I were human. The thought of fear scares me.”
“I wish I could be human longer,” Zing said. She sat on the bed and piled up the pillows against the headboard so she could recline comfortably. She was exhausted. It had been an emotionally tiring day.
“You’ve still got eight days left,” Annabelle said brightly.
Zing looked glum. She was in love with Nell and the thought of having only one week and one day to revel in that love was depressing.
“This is about Nell, isn’t it?” Annabelle sat next to her on the bed.
“Do you need a pillow?”
“No, I’m fine. Answer the question.”
“Yes, it’s about Nell. I’ve always loved her, of course, but now my love is… big. I don�
��t want to leave,” Zing said.
“You shouldn’t have let her see your love. She’s doomed now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, guardian angels in love glow with a supreme love. Nell has experienced that now because of you,” Annabelle said.
“I didn’t mean to. It’s this human condition thing.”
“Yeah well, you should know supreme love is like a love potion.”
Zing looked alarmed. She sat up. “I’ve charmed her into loving me back?”
“Not exactly. It’s more like an ethical love potion. It’s not induced like you’d given her some potion to drink that was made up of newt eyebrows, frog heels, and bat wool, cooked up by a crazy hunch-backed witch that had her medical license yanked.”
Zing tried to bleach her brain of those things. She didn’t want to know what newt eyebrows looked like—never mind drinking them. She moved on. “Why didn’t I feel like this when I was only her guardian angel?”
“Because it’s fraternal love that we feel towards the humans we’ve been assigned to watch over.”
“Oh.” That made sense. When she was watching over Nell, there was a fondness because she’d watched over her for so long, but nothing like this.
“I’ve been scouring the handbook and haven’t found a thing about guardian angels and corporeal love,” Annabelle said.
“Hmmm. Have you ever heard of an angel named Betty?”
“No. Why?”
“Because Miracle thinks she might be a guardian angel. Maybe I’m not the only one running around here in human form.”
“Maybe you should talk to her,” Annabelle said. “If she really is a guardian angel who found out how to stay human, she could help you do the same thing.”
Zing picked up Betty’s card from the nightstand. “Maybe.”
“Call her,” Annabelle said. “I have to go. Miracle is taking a shower. Did you know that eighty percent of all fatal accidents occur in the bathroom?”
“Okay. I’ll see you later?”
“You can count on it,” Annabelle said right before melting into thin air.
Zing stared at the card in her hand. She picked up her phone and dialed.
Betty answered on the first ring. It seemed like she’d known for certain that Zing would call. “I wondered how long it would take you,” Betty said.
“I have a big problem,” Zing said.
“I know. When do you want to meet?”
Zing wanted to say right now, but instead she said “Tomorrow? I have to work until eleven-thirty.”
“Let’s do lunch.”
“Okay.”
“There’s a nice café on Magnolia Street. It’s a short walk from the bakery where you work. We can sit outside. I’ll meet you there at noon.”
“Do I need to bring one hundred and fifty dollars to pay you with?”
“Do you have one hundred and fifty dollars?”
“No. But I could bring you a box of donuts.”
“I like maple bars.”
“You got it.”
Chapter Twelve
“What have you done?” Carol asked. The moment after Nell had kissed Zing on the cheek and gone into her office, Carol grabbed Zing by her collar and dragged her out front to the counter.
“I haven’t done anything,” Zing said, straightening out her uniform smock.
“Oh, yeah, do you know the first thing Nell told me when she got in this morning?”
“That she was glad to be back?” Zing ventured.
“No,” Carol hissed. “She told me that she had fallen in love with you. All the time and effort she had wasted on Dove-the-Deceiver she should’ve been giving to you.”
“She’s happy though, right?”
“Look, she just got over being tricked and now you’re tricking her. You really think that’s a good idea?” Carol asked.
“It wasn’t an idea. Or a trick. It just kind of happened.”
“Arggghh!”
The timer for the glazed donuts went off. “I hate those donuts,” Carol said and she stalked off.
Zing brushed crumbs from the top of the donut case. Maybe Carol was right. She was an angel and her job was to watch over Nell. It wasn’t to fall in love with her. But love it was and Zing was in it up to her eyeballs.
Carol brought out the cart filled with trays of fresh donuts and pastries. “Carol…” Zing said.
Carol held up her hand in a stop signal. “Do not talk to me until I calm down.”
They loaded the case in silence. Zing became sadder by the second. Carol was her friend and she worried that she wouldn’t be anymore. Carol slammed the case door closed and marched back to the kitchen. Zing put on her “let’s sell a lot of donuts” face and did her best to get through the morning. It was hard.
As Zing flipped the closed sign to open, Nell came out of the back. “Carol seems peeved at us.”
“She’s more than peeved. We should remove any sharp objects from the area.”
Nell laughed. Zing thought it the most beautiful laugh in the world. It tinkled around Zing’s heart.
Nell said, “She’ll get over it. At least, unlike Dove, you’re real.”
They stared at each other. Zing could tell they were both thinking the same thing, but neither one wanted to be the first to say it.
“For now,” Nell said at last.
“For now,” Zing repeated. “We have seven days.”
“And we’re going to make those seven days last a lifetime,” Nell said.
Zing nodded. “I’d like that.”
“Come for dinner tonight at my place?”
“I’d love to.”
***
Zing smelled the tantalizing aroma of sandwiches and soups as she approached the entrance to the Merry Magnolia Café. One good thing about being a guardian angel on earth was that the world existed in a heightened state of sensory wonderment. She smelled pastrami on rye, tomato basil soup, ranch dressing, and lemonade.
Betty was already there, seated at a table in the back. She waved at Zing. Zing walked toward her, turning many a head on the way.
Betty smiled as Zing approached. “I’d say you were meant for love.”
“What do you mean?” Zing asked, setting the box of maple bars on the table next to Betty.
“Everyone stares at you.”
“Oh. I didn’t choose this body, you know.”
“I know you didn’t. But we manifest according to our purposes,” Betty said.
The waitress came over with menus. The café was busy and she looked harried. She pulled a pencil from her bun and said, “What to drink?”
“I’m ready to order,” Betty said without opening her menu. She raised both eyebrows at Zing in a silent question.
“I know what I want. I smelled it on the way in.”
“Me, too. I’ll have the spinach quiche with raspberry tea,” Betty said.
“And I’ll have the pastrami on rye and tomato basil soup with a lemonade,” Zing ordered.
“I’ll be right back with the drinks,” the waitress said, scurrying away.
Betty watched her go. “She has a nice tush.”
“Must be all the walking.”
“So, you said you wanted to talk to me?” Betty asked, after the waitress dropped their drinks off and quickly moved on to the next table.
Zing cut right to the chase. “Are you a guardian angel?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
Zing sipped her lemonade. “Explain, please.”
“I was, at one time, a guardian angel. Now, I’m not.”
“What happened? Did you get fired?” Zing asked. She dumped three sugar packets in her lemonade and stirred with the straw.
“Not exactly.”
The waitress came out with their food. Zing’s sandwich was enormous and the soup came in a large bowl.
“Can we eat first and then talk?” Zing asked.
“If you prefer.”
“Yes, last time I had a ser
ious talk I didn’t get to eat my sandwich because everything went south. Then I was hungry and when I get hungry I get cranky.”
“We’ll eat first. I don’t think our talk will go south.”
***
Annabelle was frantically searching through The Guardian Angel’s Handbook. “I don’t understand why she can’t just tell you how to do it instead of all this subterfuge.” Annabelle whacked the pillow on the bed with the book.
“Betty said it’s different for everyone. Each book is made specifically for each angel. So, we have to find where it is in my book.”
“I thought all the handbooks were the same.”
“So did I,” Zing said, studying her meager wardrobe. She wanted to look nice for Nell. She pulled out the Hawaiian shirt with pineapples on it. “Do you think this looks good on me?”
“I think your outfit is the least of your worries,” Annabelle groused.
“This is my first real date. I want to be pretty.”
“You’re gorgeous. You should have figured that out by now.”
“Betty said the same thing. By human standards, I’m hubba-hubba. I always thought they were looking at my unique sense of fashion,” Zing said.
“It’s unique all right.”
***
Miracle was trying to shove Zing out the front door. Zing splayed out her arms like a cat refusing to come out of its carrier at the vet. Miracle finally gave up. “Why won’t you leave?”
“I’m scared, Miracle. I’ve never had a romantic dinner. I don’t know what to do. What if we have sex? Then I really won’t know what to do,” Zing said.
“Whoa, Nellie,” Miracle said, dragging Zing back into the house. “You mean to tell me you’ve never had sex?”
Zing shook her head. “Never.”
“How old are you?”
“One thousand and four.”
“You’re one thousand as in one, comma, two zeros and the number four, years old?”
“Yes.”
“And you’ve never had sex before?”
“I’ve never been human before. I’ve never felt the need. You take being human for granted, you know. All this is new to me,” Zing said.
“There’s no chapter about sex in your guardian angel handbook?”
“No, it’s a guardian angel handbook not a human handbook. Although, I really think you all need one.”
Big Love Page 16