“Have I ever discussed my personal life with you?” We stared at each other head on, neither man willing to back down.
“No, but your personal life never interfered with the organization before.”
“And it won’t now. Anyone goes anywhere near her they’re dead.” I know how this shit works. Men will always look out for their own interest. I knew there were some, who might see her as a threat, but I didn’t and that’s all the fuck that mattered to me.
I’m no first year amateur who doesn’t know how to keep the secrets of the work he does out of his fucking bed. The reason no one in ten years had ever found anything they could use to hang me with is because I’m good as fuck at what I do. I didn’t get that way by being stupid or careless. It didn’t slip my notice that in my gut I was willing to walk away if I had to. That in it self said a lot.
The work I do with the organization has always meant something to me. I took pride in being able to make the world a little bit better for the underdog. But this was the first time I was willing to say fuck it and go my own way. I left it to him to make the next play and didn’t by the flick of a lash betray my inner thoughts.
“I’m just asking you to be careful. And what do you mean if anyone goes near her, what are you implying?” That smirk didn’t fool me.
“I’m not implying shit, I’m telling you outright. I know how you operate. I know that if you see her as a threat, if you even believe that she can get close enough to me to learn anything that could harm us, that you have men, other men like myself that would be more than willing to destroy her. I’m telling you now, anything happens to her I’ll kill whoever’s involved, including you.”
“I think you actually mean that.” The look I gave him was answer enough. “Does your mother know her?”
“I’m taking her home Sunday.” That answer shocked him a little though he seemed to be expecting it. “I see, so it’s that serious is it? I guess I should’ve known that from your threat.”
He went quiet because he had shit on his mind and so did I. I could respect his position, but it wasn’t going to change anything so why bother. He tapped his fingers on the desk and I got up to leave. “I’m taking the next few days off, don’t call me.” He smirked as I headed for the door.
It was really hitting home the shit storm that a relationship between her and I would unleash. I’m so accustomed to having my way in all things, that I hadn’t stopped to think, really think about all the hurdles in our way. The danger. For a man who only saw in black or white, there was a shit load of grey.
There were rules of protocol involved on both sides. The bureau was bound to frown on any relationship between us. Though I’d never been charged with anything and there was never any proof to substantiate their demented ramblings against me, I’m pretty sure they’d use her connection to me to hurt her. A good lawyer would make mincemeat out of that shit, but did I really want to put her through that?
I left his office and headed for my boat. I do some of my best thinking there and I had a fuck load on my mind. I didn’t call her though I was tempted. She had a lot to deal with too. Life changing decisions that I was more than willing to make for her if she didn’t come to the conclusion I want. But she was never far from my thoughts. Besides, I planned to have her in my bed tonight anyway, and if I could talk her into it, taking a few days off to spend with me.
I need to call ma, which I’d put off long enough. She’s been good so far but unless I wanted her to encamp on my doorstep I’d better touch base with her soon. I’m pretty sure she knew I was back, because my brothers have bitch teeth and their wives are worse. Once I boarded the boat I headed straight for the phone and braced myself for the shaming I was sure was about to come and dialed her number.
“Hank Mancini, this is the limit. How long this time? Did you even remember that you have a mother? One who worries about you constantly and…” She went on and on and I didn’t dare laugh or the old tyrant would have a fit. I knew the rules of this game well so I let her talk until she got it all off her chest. Otherwise she’d beat me over the head with maternal umbrage.
“Ma, it hasn’t even been a week yet.”
“Excuse me, so now I’m one of those mothers that you call once a week to pat on her head until it’s time to put me away and out of your mind until next time?” Such drama. Is it any wonder I fell for the other one? Bossy opinionated women seem to be my weakness.
“Ma, you’ve been reading that classic crap again. Your drama queen is showing.”
“Oh, and now you’re being facetious too. That gift you got me must be quite spectacular. I want you here Sunday no argument, or I’ll come find you. Your brothers and their wives find the time to come see me as often as I like and they’re both busy men.”
“Ma, they’re playing at being cops, I have a real job.”
“Don’t say that about your brothers they do very important work. Where are you son?”
“I’m on the boat.”
“Well, I have to go finish the soup.” I took the phone away from my ear. She’d heard it the same time as I then. “Okay ma, we’ll talk later.”
I hung up the phone slowly and kept my face and movements neutral as I looked around the water. The last thing she said to me was a code I’d taught her if she should ever suspect her phone was tapped. I’d taught her what to listen for.
In the beginning the agencies on my ass had planted bugs in the homes of my brothers and my parents. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t get to see my nieces and nephews as often as I’d like. I wanted my family left alone. I’d won that war in the courts. They weren’t allowed ‘legally’, to plant anything in my private, business or familial space.
So far they’d left my family out of their shit, but I knew this day might come when they’d break their word. I’m a little surprised that she’d even remembered the code since it had been so long ago. I was pretty sure the bug wasn’t on her end, but mine. The question was how and when had they planted it?
It was better than the ones they’d used in the past because it had taken at least a minute to pick it up, which meant they were up on technology these days. The things is, were there just ears or did they have eyes in my place as well?
I sat in quiet contemplation as I studied my surroundings looking like I was doing nothing more than taking in the scenery. Once I was sure that no one had me in their crosshairs I relaxed but not much. My mind was already working on the ways and means.
Could they have boarded the boat while I was away? Where else had they hit? I knew my place was clean, one of the first things I do upon returning from being gone any length of time is sweep it. Granted I’d done a half ass job last night, but I had no doubts.
I was well aware that the bureau had no problem bypassing the law to get what they want, but I thought they had better sense than to fuck with me on this. If they’d boarded my boat illegally I’ll bury every fucking last one of them. Unless they had some long range bug that I knew nothing about, that shit had to have been planted.
I started to get up from my perch at the rails and go investigate but stopped short when I remembered that the last time I was here Cierra was with me. My gut went cold and my heart felt sick for a split second before reason came back. I didn’t see her for this. As devoted as she was, I hadn’t scented the deceitful gene in her. Though it was my nature to be distrusting of everyone and everything, I couldn’t go there.
After jumping to the wrong conclusion the night before I didn’t want to do that shit again, but I had to get to the bottom of this. As much as I wanted to give her a pass, years of training kicked in and plagued my mind.
I knew to never take anything for granted, in my line of work I can’t. The two sides of me warred with each other until I gave in, if only to prove her innocent. There was no getting around it. I had to at least entertain the notion that it was her doing no matter how sick it made me to my gut.
I shifted gears as once again I found myself in the precariou
s position of suspecting the woman I loved of betrayal. I tried to remember if I’d missed anything that day I’d brought her onboard. Had I been too preoccupied with the newly awakened feelings I had for her to notice? Or was she the innocent I believed her to be.
I felt as though I were being disloyal to her, something that didn’t sit very well with me. There was something foul brewing in my gut but I forced myself to tamp it down and do what I had to. I calmed myself with the fact that I was an excellent judge of character and that there was no way I would’ve missed such a glaring character flaw.
Although she worked for the enemy, I didn’t feel this from her; that she would do such a thing. I’m trained to see into the darkest recesses of the human mind. But if last night has taught me anything it’s that when it comes to her, every fuck I know is useless.
Still, the girl I knew, that I’m now fascinated with, was a straight shooter. In a lot of ways, she reminds me of myself when I was still young and naïve. She would do the job, but she would do it with integrity. I didn’t see that woman going to bed with me and then planting shit in my place so her colleagues could spy on me. But how else do I explain this shit after years of nothing.
After the court case I still swept my place for bugs or whatever else they could come up with to trap me in their snares. It had been quite a while since I’d found any spyware in any of my places, so why now? Why after I’d met her? That was another thing, that shit would be too obvious wouldn’t it?
I hate this fucking up and down bullshit. Why couldn’t I have fallen for any one of the women who’d been in and out of my life the last couple of years? Why did I have to decide that she was the one; the only one that I’ve ever seen my future with?
What kind of life could we have if it started like this? With suspicion and uncertainty. The man in me gave her a free pass, the agent wondered. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. Putting everything in perspective there was only one way to look at this, only one thing made sense. But could she really do it? Had she fooled me that thoroughly? If she had the Bureau had finally found their man. In ten years they haven’t been able to get close to me. It had taken her less than a month.
No, I can’t believe this of her. The more my heart told me this, the louder the voice in my head shouted that it was the only thing that made any sense. Is this what I had to look forward to if I decided to make a life with her? The thought pissed me the fuck off. I refuse to live the rest of my life with suspicion and uncertainty, especially in my fucking bed. What bothered me the most was if this was true, then she’d undermined everything I’d worked for all these years.
I wasn’t worried about anyone else learning that she’d played me for a fool. I cared more about the fact that I’d start second guessing myself from now on if it turned out to be true. How can I be trusted with the lives of the people who depended on me to keep them safe if I was dumb enough to be taken in?
I could come right out and ask her. That day she was here we weren’t an item yet. Maybe she didn’t see anything wrong with doing it then but now…No. I took a deep breath and did what I should’ve done as soon as I hung up the phone. I hadn’t seen anything suspicious when I took a perusal of my surroundings under the guise of watching the sky.
I looked at my watch and played with it a little, seeming to wind it. What I was actually doing was using the little mechanism built into it to pick up any of the waves usually given off by listening devices and other spyware.
I walked through the entire length of the boat not showing any of what I was feeling. The look on my face if anyone had me in their scope was one of a relaxed man out for a day on his boat. I kept my hands in my pockets as I walked nonchalantly around the boat while the watch on my wrist scanned the boat.
Aside from the bug in my phone there were three more onboard. One next to the bed below and one at either end of the boat; all places she’d been. The knowledge hit me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me for a split second. I didn’t fly off the handle this time though. Instead I forced myself to sit and think.
I pulled everything apart in my mind from the moment she walked into my place that first night ‘til a few hours ago when she left my bed. I had to distance myself from what I felt for her, it was the only way to get to the truth. It felt like the worse kind of fucking violation to even think of her as anything other than mine, to cast her in the light of potential enemy.
But the more I tried to convince myself, the guiltier she became. No one had known about the boat before her. It was one of my best-kept secrets. I’d gone above and beyond to make sure that at least here I could relax somewhat and let my guard down as much as a man like me was allowed to. In short, it was one of the only places I could get away and be at peace knowing I wasn’t being watched.
The one time I’d let my heart lead me and look where it got me. There was no longer any doubt in my mind that she did this. There was no other explanation. Once I was no longer blinded by anger, I got up and this time moved with purpose.
I took care of everything I found, after documenting the fact that they’d been there, before contacting my lawyer. If she’d put them there it was at her superior’s instruction. Somebody was going to lose their fucking job over this. And if she was the one to plant them, then I’ll deal with her. I just need to know when it had been done.
I was afraid I already knew. That day she was here she was never out of my sight. As much as I hated that they’d bugged me, I hated it even more that I’d left myself open. I’m usually more careful with this shit, but since meeting her I’ve spent more time focusing on us and had become a bit lax it seems.
Had she really come here after I’d had her under me and done this shit? If she were standing in front of me I’d strangle her with my bare hands. The rage was a slow burn in my gut and I fought for control. Two days in a row I’ve felt this heavy sense of betrayal, both by the same woman, all with the same result.
I left the boat certainly not feeling relaxed there anymore. Fuckers had found the last place I had left to get away from them and their shit. I called my brother hoping for one last thing that would save her. “Jaxx when you were on Cierra did you ever bring her to my boat?” I was sure that he hadn’t but there was nothing wrong with checking.
“No why, did you ask Adrien?” I started to answer him when a thought flashed into my head. “I’ll talk to him later.” I hung up and let my mind work as that bad taste in my mouth intensified. I’d thought of it the night before but only for a hot minute before being distracted by something else. Now my mind was clear and it made no sense.
The shirt. Where did she get the shirt? She couldn’t get into my place of that I was sure. But if she’d gone on the boat to plant those devices would she have risked taking a shirt that could lead back to that fact? Then again she hadn’t been expecting me that night. How was I to ever know she’d taken it?
I didn’t like where my mind was going, but what else could I think? Somebody had been on my boat and it had been in the last few days while I was gone. It’s not that hard for someone who knew what they were doing to sneak on the boat and plant that shit, and she was their best wasn’t she?
When I’d looked into her in the beginning I’d learned that aside from being their best profiler in twenty years, she was also an over achiever, like me. I had no doubt she had the capabilities to do something like this, the problem was she’d done it to me, after I’d fucked her.
It was my place of solace, my sanctuary. I never brought any part of my work here if I could help it. Out here on the water I was just Hank Mancini the man. But it was also the one place they’d never accessed before because they didn’t know about it.
If she’d betrayed me in this, it would be just as bad as what I’d suspected her of the night before. I still couldn’t bring myself to accuse her, not yet. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt, but if she’s guilty I’ll make her life a living hell.
10
Cierra
Som
ething’s wrong, I can feel it but he’s not saying anything. He’s back to being the guy half the agencies of the world are after. In the last day and a half he’d shown me a different side to him, a softer side, if you can call anything about him soft. But tonight he’s even more withdrawn than when we first met.
There’s an air of danger about him. And the way he looks at me; as if he’s no longer seeing me, like I’m not even there. The pain in my gut grew with each minute I spent sitting across from him. He wasn’t even talking to me so I don’t know why he brought me to dinner.
I was growing increasingly nervous as well. Funny, I hadn’t been this nervous the first time I’d gone into his place with the express purpose of catching his attention. Then I didn’t know him as well as I thought. Though I’d had doubts even then that he was what they said, I still believed he was a dangerous animal. I now know that to be true without a doubt. The man had busted down my door gun drawn to kill the man he thought was in bed with me.
I had yet to take him to task for thinking that I was the kind of woman who’d go from his bed to someone else’s in a matter of days. But I haven’t had the time to broach the subject since he seems preoccupied. I’ve been busy trying to figure out what I was going to do about our new relationship and what it meant to my job.
Gracie had driven in to stay with me on her break but she’d have to go back soon and I was still no closer to a solution. I know that I stand the chance of losing my job and that scares the hell out of me. But there’s no way he’d ever go for keeping us a secret, not that I would ask him to.
I refuse to give any credence to what had been said in that last meeting, and if anyone tried forcing the issue, well I’ll just have to open their eyes to all the hell I could rain down on their heads for even suggesting such a thing. True in days past female agents may have gone a little beyond the call of duty to get what they were after, but since Durant hadn’t asked any of the male agents he’d sent after Hank to climb into his bed to get close; in this day and age that’s grounds for all kinds of nasty lawsuits that I was sure to win.
Hold Me If You Can (Mancini Way 2) Page 6