Of course I wouldn’t want things to progress to that point, but it was the only weapon I had left and trust me I’d thought long and hard since Hank came back. I couldn’t bear the thought of even one day going by where they thought I was adhering to their new game plan. I still wasn’t sure how I was going to tell them no, or how I was going to show them how displeased I was with the suggestion. One thing was for sure, if Hank ever got wind of it there would be trouble. The way he’s been acting tonight I’m not sure he hadn’t.
“What’s on your mind Agent Stone?” I hate when he calls me that. I hate it even more when he does it with that look in his eyes. “I could ask you the same thing. Is there something the matter?” I played with the stem of my water glass, avoiding his gaze as I asked. I was suddenly very nervous and unsure of myself. Not even when he blew my cover that first night did he look at me with such, suspicion.
What could it be? I’ve tried and tried to come up with a reason for his behavior since I caught on this evening, but no matter what I came up with nothing made any sense. Maybe whatever it was had nothing to do with me and I was just being overly sensitive because of the change in our relationship and the fact that it could mean disaster for us both.
“You tell me. That shirt of mine that you wore to bed the night I came back. Where did you get it?” Oh crap, is that what this is about?
“Well, I kinda sorta broke onto your boat.” I felt like an ass saying it but it was very innocent. There was no need for him to look at me as if I’d stolen something. I had to look away from his gaze once more as he looked fiercely pissed.
“That first night you were gone I couldn’t sleep. I…anyway I got the bright idea that if I had something of yours it might help. I went late in the evening so no one would know. I didn’t take anything else.” I rushed to assure him.
“How did you know about the shirt? Why did you even go there in the first place?”
“I remembered seeing it that day you took me for a tour. I’m sorry if I overstepped…” I fidgeted under that fierce glare and felt like the biggest fool. Looking back at it now it was a very juvenile thing to do, but at the time it didn’t feel like it.
I’d missed him so much that it was a physical pain. I’d tossed and turned until I’d stalked around the apartment like a caged animal. I’d got the bright idea to go for a walk outside in the quiet of the night. I’m not sure where the thought that having something of his would make me feel better came from, but the idea was born and next thing I knew I was recalling the fact that he didn’t lock the boat.
The reason I remembered that was because I recalled thinking that day he’d taken me out on the boat that it was a very dangerous thing for someone in his position to do. I knew all about the orders of restriction but I’m sure he wasn’t the type to trust in that stuff, and he was right not to. Just because the agency would never be able to use anything learned on them against him in a court of law, as long as they had the information they needed, there were ways and means of manufacturing evidence.
But he wasn’t talking about any of that, he was asking about his shirt. Was he mad about something as small as that? It didn’t make sense. His next words jarred me and sent ice running down my spine.
“And while you were there, you thought you might as well go ahead and plant the bugs?” What was he talking about? I looked at him with what I was sure was a look of incomprehension. I felt the danger climb under my skin and seep into my bones. Across from me was a very lethal animal and it only took the look in his eye to convince me that I was in jeopardy.
“I don’t understand; what are you talking about? Don’t you have some kind of injunction from the judge?” Even though I’d just thought those things were a waste of time, it was the only thing I could think to say as I felt a pressure starting to build in my chest.
“Yes, but that doesn’t extend to the woman I’m fucking now does it? There’s always a loophole.” There was a tic in his cheek that I’d come to know only too well in the short time we’d known each other. My eyes followed that tic as I tried to make sense of what he was saying. Subconsciously I think I already knew.
“I don’t…what are you accusing me of?” He didn’t say a word, just watched me like a predator with his prey. Now I knew what the others had felt when they flew too close to his flame. In that moment, I knew I was in true danger. The sick feeling that had started in my gut worked its way through me and cut off my air. Run Cierra! The warning was so strong I dared not ignore it.
I got up from the table in his club where we were about to have dinner. When he’d just shown up at my place a few hours after we’d parted and insisted we were coming here, I hadn’t argued. I wanted to be with him. Work never entered my head. In fact, apart from the first night we met I don’t think I’ve really given work much thought.
The fact that ‘work’ was trying to find enough to bring him down made what I was doing crazy in so many ways. I knew we were under surveillance and hated that my bosses thought I was going along with their ploy to use my body if I had to-to get information on him. But until I came up with a solution I had no real choice.
At least I didn’t have to hide the fact that we were spending time together, though it galled me that they thought it was on their dime. The only alternative was to come clean and I wasn’t sure how to do that yet without jeopardizing everything.
Now after tearing myself apart trying to figure out how to keep my job and the man I was afraid I was falling in love with, it seemed that man was now accusing me of something very horrendous. Did he really think that I’d used our relationship in such a callous way? That’s right, we don’t really have a relationship.
“I’ll see you later when you’re ready to talk to me.” I was almost in tears as I made my way to the elevators. I couldn’t handle anymore tonight. First my boss telling me to throw myself at him and now him thinking I’d betrayed him in some way. It was all too much.
I made it to the elevator and threw myself in as soon as the doors slid open. My eyes widened when I turned to see him making his way in my direction. It wasn’t the fact that he was coming after me that had fear crawling up my throat. It was the look of intent on his face that made my knees tremble.
11
Mancini
I watched her walk away with a bitter taste in my mouth. I should let her go. I should, but barely leashed anger had me getting to my feet. I didn’t hurry after her, but reached her all the same just as the elevator doors slid open and she stepped inside. She looked at me with frightened eyes as I crowded her. I heard others coming but pressed the door close button without sparing them a glance.
I trapped her against the wall of the elevator after closing the door in the face of the man and two women who were rushing to catch it. “Hank I…” I didn’t want to hear it, so I cut her off. I studied her face as if this was the last time we’d ever be this close again. I could kill her for doing this to me, but that would be too easy.
“So, how far were you willing to go huh little Cierra? What am I saying, I already fucked you so I guess that answers that.” I put my hand under her dress between her thighs and down into her underwear, driving my fingers into her, before pulling them out again. I licked them clean as I held her eyes with mine, only this time mine were filled with contempt. She was shaking like a leaf.
“Go back to your handlers little girl and tell them to send me someone who knows how to play the game.” I walked off the elevator when the doors opened and never looked back. Her cry of distress meant fuck all to me. I’d already forgotten her by the time the doors closed. Never a fucking gain!
I went to my office upstairs and threw myself into work. I’d neglected my business long enough. Each time her deceitful face came into my head I erased it unmercifully. I’ll erase her from my life completely, but maybe no. Maybe I should remember this so the shit never happens again. I’ll let my lawyers handle it from here. As far as I was concerned she was dead to me. Nothing more than the bureau’
s lackey, and that’s just how I’ll remember her from now on.
That shit was easier said than done and I stayed in the office until the wee hours, trying to get away from my own thoughts, before dragging myself home to bed. I cut off every thought of her, even going so far as to toss the sheets I’d had her on. I wanted no reminders and even though thoughts of her still plagued me I had no doubt that it won’t be long before she was nothing more than a distant memory. I’ll always remember her in future as my one mistake since I’d become a man at nineteen, and learned that the world around me was not what it seemed.
For the next couple days I did nothing else but make the rounds at my clubs and restaurants. Going over the books, making sure everything was in order. I’d asked for time off but maybe I should call Wilson up and have him give me something. Preferably something dangerous enough, that I would have to keep all my focus on the job. At least then I wouldn’t have these moments where she slipped in and tormented me.
I didn’t leave myself time to think, just worked myself into the ground, until exhaustion claimed me and I fell into a deep sleep, only to have dreams of her drive me from my bed. Those times I’d head down to my personal gym and work myself until my muscles ached and the pain in my body took my mind off the one in my soul.
I spent the first few days after leaving her on that elevator pissed the fuck off. Everywhere I went she followed me. And even if I was able for a few hours at a time to erase her from my thoughts, I was never able to forget her completely.
My staff, by the second or third day was steering clear of me, and my brothers’ wives were handing in complaints like the little spies they are. For that reason I wasn’t surprised to see Adrien and Jaxx coming up my elevator this morning while I was cooling down from my workout.
I should be mad at them too since she’d done this shit on their watch, but I was all out of anger. My lawyers were dealing with the breach, and this time I fully intend to sue the fucking government if I have to. They can watch me from a distance for the rest of my life, but I’ll be fucked if they’re going to invade my space again and get away with it.
I let the boys in without uttering a word and ignored their looks of censure. They can kiss my ass too. If I hear one more word about her I’ll wring their fucking necks.
I threw them their regular bottles of water and waited. “What?” I turned to look at them when neither of them was forthcoming. The dumb fucks just stood in the middle of the room glaring at me.
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out; what the hell’s wrong with you? Sabra says you’ve been acting like a bear with his paw caught for the last few days and she’s threatening to quit and stay home. That can’t happen bro so start talking.”
“I’m sorry you’re having trouble with your woman but that’s none of my concern.” I couldn’t even find my usual humor in the hijinks that goes on between them and my sister in laws. I felt fucking dead inside. Nothing mattered no matter how hard I tried. I spend hours looking over paperwork and reading the same line ten times before I know what the hell I’m looking at.
Maybe it was a good thing I’d gotten rid of her deceitful hide now before she’d been allowed to suck me under any deeper, before she’d turned me into a brainless ass. Two nights spent inside her had damn near brought me low. Two nights that I can’t forget; that plagues me whenever I let my guard down.
“Hank, ma’s worried.” Well shit, I forgot about her. I’d planned to take Cierra to meet her tomorrow. Now I wasn’t even planning on going to Sunday dinner, which was another headache I could do without.
“There’s nothing to worry about I’m fine.” I took a swig from my water bottle and moved towards the windows. I felt closed in suddenly, cornered. That’s because I knew they would defend her.
“Did something happen between you and Cierra?” Adrien’s always the fixer. I hadn’t told them, hadn’t told anyone. Instead I’ve been stewing over this shit myself for the past few days. I missed her so much it was all I could do not to go get her. But each time the feeling overcame me, I remembered that she’d chosen her job over me.
No matter how I look at it there was no other explanation. And each time that niggling doubt, that maybe I was wrong again nipped at my heels, I brushed it aside. I didn’t forget that I’d been way off the other night when I thought she’d betrayed me, but one thing had nothing to do with the other.
I took a long draw from my water bottle and tried to figure out how to deflect them without sounding like the damn fool that I was. “She betrayed me.” So much for not telling them! She’s turned me into another blithering idiot; like them. For some reason it felt like a weight had been lifted after saying the words out loud.
“Uh, we heard about that from Jace and it was a mistake. She was in bed with her roommate.” Jaxx grinned and grabbed a seat, more relaxed than when he walked in.
“Not that Jaxx you ass; she bugged my fucking boat.” The room went silent as they both stared back at me.
“No she didn’t.” My brother said it with the surety I wish I had.
“I’m sorry to tell you Adrien, but yes the fuck she did. I was on the phone with ma, she heard it as soon as I did and warned me.” That was part of why I was so angry. I try like hell to keep my family out of my life as far as my work with the organization goes. These fuckers don’t care whose privacy they invade to get what they want. My mother is off fucking limits. And because it was she on the phone that day, I’m going to make them pay.
“I don’t believe that, there must be some other explanation.”
“If there is Jaxx I’d like to hear it. When I got back she was wearing one of my shirts, a shirt that was left on the boat. She admitted to swiping it from there but of course denied the other.”
“Of course she denied it you hardheaded son of a bitch. But did you listen? You know what I think? I think you’re running scared. What happened brother, did she make you feel?” Figures!
“What the fuck are you talking about Jaxx?”
“What am I talking about? We spent the few days you were gone with that girl and I’m telling you she didn’t betray you, she doesn’t have it in her. She’s in love with you, poor thing. I don’t know what happened, I’d believe she took the shirt because females do that kinda wonky shit when they’re in love, it doesn’t matter how old they are. But planting that shit, no way. Why would she when she knows she’s the first place you’d look?”
That made sense but I still wasn’t convinced. “Maybe she’s not as in love as she led you to believe.”
“You’re being an ass. Where is she?”
“How the fuck should I know?” Why is he trying to piss me the fuck off?
“Hank you didn’t.” I glared at Jaxx to shut the fuck up. I don’t need this shit. I just want to be left alone. I’d spent the last few days in a fucked up daze, something I didn’t like about myself. I hate the fact that she could do this to me; bring me this low. I hated even more that the asshole feds had got one over on me.
“What would you have me do?”
“Did you at least get her side?”
“No Adrien I wasn’t in the mood.”
“That’s just like you. Now what are you going to tell ma?”
“Tell ma about what?” I didn’t like where this was going. Ma didn’t know shit about her thank fuck. I’d at least kept my mouth shut so that was one last worry I had.
“Well after you made such a big deal about us looking after her while you were gone we kinda told the wives and they kinda told ma that she was the one; that you were serious…she’s expecting to meet her tomorrow.”
“I should throw you out the fucking window. Can’t you two keep a leash on your fucking women?” The asses grinned at me; fucking simpletons. I need this shit on top of everything else. Ma will make these two look like child’s play. She would’ve loved my girl, and I’m sure these two talked her up since they were such fans.
“We’ll take care of it. Come on Jaxx we’ve got work to
do. Our brother is out of his depth here.” Adrien the ass shook his head at me like I was the asshole in the room. Then his words registered and my hackles rose. I’m not too keen on the idea of them or anyone else digging into my shit.
“What exactly is it that you two are going to take care of?”
“Getting your woman back, and this time try to hold onto her Hank.”
“What the fuck, didn’t you two just hear me say she betrayed me?”
“We heard you, we just don’t believe it. So we’re going to fix your mess because brother, whatever you feel for her that you’re trying so hard to fight, she feels it too. I’m sorry but you’re not gonna be able to give this one the slip the way you did with the others.”
“Who says I want her?” My gut twisted hard at those false words.
“When is the last time a woman left you in this many knots?” Jaxx smirked as he dragged his sidekick to the door behind him.
“And get a shave bro you’re looking a little rough. I don’t think the men following you around would even recognize you like this.” I hope the damn elevator drops to the basement with the two of them in it.
I should probably call ma but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what the hell to say to her. And when did my life become a high school drama? I took a quick shower and headed down to the club to see about my place. I wasn’t going to give her another minute’s thought.
She knew what she’d done and so did I. If her job was that important to her she could have it. She’s lucky that I’m not going after her personally. No, I’ve decided to cut her out of my life completely, as if she never existed. If only it were that easy.
Hold Me If You Can (Mancini Way 2) Page 7