Summer of Secrets

by Paul Langan

  “Darcy, that’s why I’m calling. I can’t stay on the phone long, but I just wanted to give you the good news. ” His voice was fast and upbeat, like he could barely restrain what he had to say.

  “Tell me!” she urged.

  “My Dad’s cancer has stopped. He’s passed his physical, and he’s getting a little stronger every day,” Hakeem said. She could hear the excitement in his voice. It was a huge change from how he had been just months ago when he told her his father was sick and that his family was moving out to Detroit.

  “That’s the best news I’ve heard all summer!” Darcy said, meaning every word. For a second, she almost forgot about the gloomy cloud in her own house.

  “There’s more, Darcy. Dad plans to stay here and help my uncle, but he said this fall I could come back to Bluford. ”

  “What? How?” Darcy almost couldn’t believe the news.

  “Coop’s mom said I could stay with him this school year. My parents thought about it for a while, and since they’ve known each other for years, they said it was okay. ”

  Darcy felt her eyes begin to tear. “Are you serious? Are you really coming back?”

  “Not until the first week of September, so it’ll be a while, but I wanted to tell you myself. I can’t wait to see you. I miss you big time. ”

  “I miss you too, Hakeem,” Darcy said, wanting to reach out to him. She wished he was next to her so they could talk. Yet as she thought about it, she did not know what she would say. How could she ever tell him about the time she spent with Brian Mason? Would he be disappointed or blame her for what happened? Would he somehow see her differently? Think less of her because she had allowed Brian, for a time, to touch her? It was a secret she would have to keep. There was no way she would let it ruin the news of Hakeem’s return.

  “Well, I should go, Darcy. I just wanted to let you know. Maybe we can go to the Junior Prom next year after all,” he said.

  “You better ask me first,” she teased.

  “I think I just did. ”

  “Then you have a date,” she answered, almost laughing.

  “I’m there already,” he replied. She could hear other people talking to Hakeem in the background over the phone. Though there were several voices, one was clear.

  “C’mon, we got work to do, cuz! You gotta hang up that phone. ”

  Darcy listened as Hakeem yelled something and then spoke to her quickly. “I wish I had more time, Darce, but I gotta go now. I’ll be there this fall. I promise,” he added.

  When she hung up the phone, Darcy wiped tears from her eyes. Her first boyfriend was coming back. It was the best news she had all summer, and for a time, she allowed herself to enjoy it. Like a favorite dessert eaten slowly.

  The next morning, Darcy woke up totally confused. She heard the sound of women’s voices coming from the living room, and she looked at the clock. It was 8:45, and Darcy didn’t have to be at Scoops until noon. Since the school year ended, Darcy had started sleeping late, especially since the nightmares had begun. She wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but the sound of the voices made it impossible. Who was talking, she wondered, getting up and heading to the edge of the door.

  “I can’t believe you let yourself get into this position again, Mattie. At your age?” Darcy recognized the voice immediately. It was her Aunt Charlotte, Mom’s sister. Charlotte had never liked Dad, and she always acted as if she was somehow better than everyone else. She lived alone in a nice townhouse outside the city, and Darcy couldn’t stand her because she was always judging everything. And in her eyes, Dad, the new house, and even Jamee and Darcy’s behavior never measured up.

  “Look, I didn’t ask you to come here today, and if all you’re gonna do is tell me about my mistakes, you can just leave,” Mom said.

  “Now you don’t have to get upset. I came here so I could go with you today, and that’s what I’m going to do,” Aunt Charlotte said. “Just because Carl made another mistake and can’t be here doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be. ”

  “Charlotte, please!” Mom yelled. “If I knew you were gonna be like this, I wouldn’t have even called you. Now let’s go. I don’t want to be late. ”

  Darcy listened as the two women walked out and locked the door behind them. The house was quiet. Jamee’s door was still closed, and Dad was out already. Darcy felt a nervous tremble in her stomach. Something strange was going on.

  But what?

  At Scoops, business was busier than ever. For the first time in a week, the summer heat was scorching the city, making people rush in to get something cool to eat and escape the hot sun. It was so busy that Tamika, Darcy’s manager, was forced to work side by side with her and Haley, just to keep the lines down.

  At 4:00, Darcy noticed a yellow sports car pass by outside. It looked exactly like the one Duane drove. Minutes later, a pretty, light-skinned girl with green eyes came in wearing a UCLA T-shirt.

  “Can I get two mint smoothies?” she asked.

  It can’t be! Darcy thought to herself. It was the same order she prepared for Brisana and Duane the other day. Darcy handed her the smoothies and collected the money, carefully studying the girl’s face.

  “Thank you,” the girl said, walking out.

  Alarm bells were going off in Darcy’s head. She had to find out one way or the other if the girl had anything to do with Duane. Quickly, she turned to Haley. “I need to take a five-minute break. I’ll be right back. ”

  “Now? ” Haley protested. “It’s too busy, Darce. ”

  “Two minutes. That’s all I need,” she said, taking off her apron and visor, and rushing out the door.

  Outside, the hot afternoon wind blasted Darcy like exhaust from a giant furnace. The girl had already vanished. Darcy scanned up and down the main street looking for the T-shirt. While there were people everywhere, the girl was not one of them. Darcy rushed to the nearest corner. Beneath her feet, the sidewalk was hot, making the bottoms of her shoes soft and gummy.

  Up ahead, about thirty yards away, she spotted the yellow sports car. The door was open, and the girl was just easing into the passenger seat. In a second, the door closed, and Darcy saw her lean toward the driver for a instant, as if she was kissing him. But the bright glare of the sun made it impossible to tell for sure. Darcy was about to move in for a closer look when the car sped off.

  There was no doubt in Darcy’s mind. Duane was behind the wheel. And though she really couldn’t see, Darcy was sure the girl was more than just Duane’s friend.

  “He’s cheating on you, Brisana,” Darcy said to herself, making her way back to Scoops, the anger in her chest burning like the summer sun that blazed overhead.

  “Just stop it!” Brisana yelled over the phone. It was a little after 9:00 p.m. , and Darcy decided she had to tell Brisana what she had seen. “I don’t want to hear it. ”

  “Brisana it’s true. I saw him with my own eyes,” Darcy insisted.

  “Darcy this is the lowest I’ve ever seen you go. I know you’re lonely and jealous, but I never imagined you’d do something like this. ”

  Darcy struggled to control her temper. “Brisana, you’ve got to believe me. Ask Duane where he was this afternoon. ”

  “What is your problem, Darcy?” Brisana demanded. “Even if Duane was cheating on me—which he’s not—what do you care?”

  Darcy paused, the words all jumbled in her mind. “Because you would say something to me if I was seeing someone who was no good for me,” Darcy said. “You did it when I saw Brian Mason, and I’m doing it for you now. ”

  “Look, Darcy, I don’t know what happened to you this summer, but you got serious issues. You were freakin’ out at the mall, and now you’re freakin’ out at me. I don’t know what your problem is, but you’re just plain wrong. ”

  Brisana’s comment hit Darcy like a punch in the stomach. It was bad enough that Brisana wasn’t listening to her, but what she said was worse. Darcy knew there was truth to Brisana’s words. There was something wrong with
her, and it was affecting her sleep, her thinking, and her judgment.

  “Brisana, I saw him in the car today. He was with some girl in a UCLA shirt. I’m telling you the truth. ”

  “Darcy, that was his cousin, okay. Duane was picking her up after class,” Brisana growled. “You got anything else you wanna say?”

  Darcy felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, as if she’d swallowed a brick. “His cousin?” she repeated. It still did not make sense. She was sure that the girl had kissed him. “Are you sure? I thought I saw—”

  “Darcy, just drop it!” Brisana yelled, cutting Darcy off. A second later, the phone went silent.

  “Brisana?” Darcy asked, but she knew it was pointless. Brisana had hung up on her.

  Without a second thought, Darcy called Tarah. The two had not spoken in days.

  “I told you she wasn’t gonna listen,” Tarah said, “At least you know you did the right thing. You tried. That’s more than most people would have done. ”

  “I don’t know. I just have a bad feeling. ”

  “What else can you do? It don’t take a genius to know that Duane is trouble. Cooper’s about ready to quit his job, he’s so fed up. I think that girl you saw was actually at the station today. Coop said Duane was showin’ off all day, bossin’ him around in front of some college girl. And from what Coop saw, those two ain’t cousins, not unless they’re kissin’ cousins!”

  “I knew it!” Darcy exclaimed. “That boy only wants Brisana for one thing, and she just doesn’t see it. ” She could feel her pulse pounding in the side of her head. It was so loud she wondered if Tarah could hear it over the phone.

  “Darce,” Tarah said, the tone of her voice shifting suddenly like the gears of a car. “You mind if I ask you somethin’?”

  “No, Tarah, what’s up?”

  “You’re takin’ all this business with Brisana real personal. I mean, I know you two were friends, but it seems like there’s something else goin’ on. ” Tarah spoke carefully, and Darcy could hear the sincerity in her voice. “Is everything all right with you?”

  Darcy took a deep breath. “What do you mean?” she said, trying to pretend as if she did not understand her friend’s question.

  “C’mon, Darce. We’re tight. We been hangin’ all year, and I know when somethin’s buggin’ you. You ain’t been yourself in weeks. You don’t wanna come out anymore, and you always seem down. And I know about your grandma, but this stuff with Brisana is somethin’ else. ”

  Darcy knew Tarah meant well, but she could not bring herself to say the words. And she wasn’t even sure what they were.

  Brian attacked me. He almost raped me. Now I have these bad dreams, and I don’t feel safe anymore. Guys make me nervous.

  Everything she could think of sounded almost crazy. She felt as if she was making a big deal out of something that wasn’t serious. That she should just keep the whole thing secret, just like Mom and Dad were doing about whatever was wrong with them.

  You’re acting like a baby, said a voice in her head.

  It was what Brian said when his hands were slipping under her shirt, tugging at her clothes. She knew the voice was wrong, but it had power. It made her feel embarrassed and guilty and unable to speak about what happened. Not even to Tarah, the person she believed would never hurt her.

  “Tarah . . . I’ve just been busy, that’s all. I been working a lotta hours at Scoops, and I guess I been kinda tired,” Darcy said. She felt guilty for not telling Tarah the full truth, but it was as if she had a hand on her throat, preventing her from saying what had really been bothering her for so long.

  “Oh, but you’re not too busy to go to the mall with Brisana,” Tarah replied, raising her voice slightly. “I understand completely. ”

  “No, Tarah, it’s not like that. ”

  “Whatever, Darcy. I was tryin’ to help you, that’s all. If you can’t talk to me, that’s your problem. ”

  Darcy could hear the hurt in Tarah’s voice. She couldn’t believe what was happening around her. The secret with Brian was a kind of cancer, spreading its way into her closest friendships. She had to tell someone soon. Maybe now.

  “Look, Darcy, I gotta go,” Tarah said suddenly. “You still have time to come with us tomorrow for the July 4th cookout, right? Or are you gonna be busy?”

  There was no way Darcy could open up to Tarah now, not with the resentment she heard pushing through the phone at her.

  “I’ll be there, Tarah. Definitely,” she said.

  “All right. I’ll see you then. ”

  Chapter 7

  Darcy looked around and realized she was in a dark room. She could see the brassy glint of a doorknob and reached for it, but it was locked. A candle burned on a small table in front of her, and then a wave of panic hit her as she recognized where she was: Brian Mason’s apartment. She heard footsteps behind her. She knew it was him.

  “Leave me alone!” she yelled.

  “Shut up,” Brian hissed, his face suddenly only inches from hers. “You’re acting like such a baby,” he said, moving his body closer in the dim light. She knew he was going to try to touch her again.

  “Get away!”

  His hands grabbed her leg, and she twisted away, opening her eyes and waking up in her bedroom. It was July 4th, Independence Day, and Darcy sat up in her bed covered in a layer of sweat not caused by the heat already building in the summer morning.

  Suddenly she heard knocking at her bedroom door. The sound startled her so much she jumped to her feet and balled her hands tightly into fists as if she was preparing for a fight. “You okay, Darcy? I thought I heard you talking. ” It was Jamee.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a dream. ”

  “Can I come in?”

  Darcy opened the door to face her sister already dressed.

  “Man, you look like you haven’t slept at all, and it’s almost noon. Are you sick or something?” Jamee asked. “You never sleep this late. ”

  “No, I’m not sick,” Darcy snapped, turning away so she didn’t have to see her sister’s concerned eyes. “I just had a long day yesterday, and I was tired. ”

  “I thought maybe you had what Mom has. ”

  “Huh?”

  “She was sick early this morning. I heard her in the bathroom throwin’ up. She even decided to stay home from work. But she’s feeling better now. She’s gonna go to the cemetery to visit Grandma, and since you’re not working today, I thought you might want to go with us. ”

  “I do,” Darcy said without any hesitation. It was an idea that felt right, one that pushed away the memories of her nightmare like leaves before a strong gust of wind.

  Darcy had not been to the cemetery since Grandma’s funeral. Passing the gray rows of headstones reminded Darcy of the day weeks ago when she stood with her friends and family and watched Grandma’s coffin being lowered into the ground. The memory still brought tears to her eyes.

  Jamee walked next to her in silence, while Mom led the way, carrying a tissue which she dabbed into the corners of her eyes from time to time. Birds flew overhead, chirping cheerfully in the trees over the great field of graves.

  “You know Grandma would be happy to hear the birds,” Jamee said.

  Mom sniffled slightly.

  Darcy nodded.

  Grandma’s grave was more recent than most of those around it. The grass over her plot did not match the surrounding ground cover, and a thin line was visible in the turf where the earth had been dug. Yet already new grass had begun to mend the scar in the soil. Flowers, old and new, were piled up against the flat slab of granite that bore Grandma’s name: Annie Louella Duncan.

  “I planted these last week with your father,” Mom said pointing to several tiny purple flowering plants next to the plaque. “Grandma would like them. ”

  Darcy imagined her parents at the grave together kneeling on the ground planting flowers. Though it was sad, the image comforted her, signaling that her parents weren’t totally coming apart, even if they were
having problems.

  “There’s nothing more important in this world than family,” Grandma had said shortly after Dad returned. “Even when they make mistakes—and they always will, Angelcake—you have to keep loving them back. That’s what it’s all about. ”

  Darcy wondered what Grandma would say if she knew what was happening in the house now. The awkward silence. The hushed conversations. The tension. And then there was Darcy’s dark secret, which, with each passing day, seemed to seep like poison into every facet of her life.

  I need help, Grandma, Darcy thought to herself, looking at the grave.

  Jamee and Mom seemed to say their own silent prayers. Divided by their thoughts, the three of them stood together in front of Grandma in respectful silence.

  At 5:00, Darcy took a shower and did her best to conceal the circles under her eyes. She had agreed to meet Tarah and Cooper at the park at 6:30. They would barbecue for a while, and once it got dark enough, they would grab a good spot to watch the fireworks. Darcy wished there was some way she could avoid going. She just wasn’t in the mood to be out, even with Tarah, but she had no excuses. And she knew Tarah would be upset if she canceled. She had to go.

  “It’ll be good for you,” Tarah had said. Darcy did not believe that at all. She hoped Tarah would decide not to bring her cousin Troy to the cookout. The last thing Darcy wanted was to have a stranger following her around all night, even if he was Tarah’s cousin.

  Outside on the street, the air hung heavy and thick under the late afternoon sun. It was so hot, Darcy had originally decided to wear shorts and a tank top, but when she looked in the mirror, she decided to change. Her chest and round backside, which never bothered her before, made her feel self-conscious. Hakeem had often told her she had a great body, and his words used to make her feel attractive, but after Brian, she didn’t want that kind of attention. It made her uncomfortable. She put on a loose-fitting T-shirt instead.

  Nearing the park, Darcy could smell the heavy, meaty aroma of hamburgers and hot dogs cooking on grills. Children’s laughter mingled with the sound of classic hip-hop as she turned the corner and looked for Tarah. Though it was still early, people of all ages had started gathering in the park, sitting in beach chairs or on towels. Others sat at card tables while family members grilled in the shade of the park’s few tall trees. Some people were dancing playfully to the music, while others were just kicking back, watching people.