The Arms of a Better Man

by Indiana Wake

  If only the whole town could speak to him the way Mary did, openly and without any sort of embarrassment whatsoever. She just asked the question and that was it.

  “He certainly thinks that the pain can be managed with some exercises. And the exercises might even help to build a little muscle again so that the leg isn’t entirely useless.”

  “But it isn’t entirely useless, Arlen.”

  “All right, it supports my weight. But even then, only just. It’s enough support for me to keep walking, but that’s all right now. The thing is, out on the battlefields, medical treatment is kind of hit and miss. They do enough to save your life, to more or less keep you in one piece. But after that, you’re on your own. And it was a hell of a journey back here rumbling along in backs of wagons before we reached civilization enough for a stagecoach to get me home. I hardly moved in all that time, it was so painful, and the muscle just got more and more wasted.” He let out a sigh. “Anyway, maybe Doc Brown’s exercises will do the trick, who knows?”

  “If you can stand, can you not get up on a horse?”

  “I could get up with a struggle, but I wouldn’t easily stay up there. You need two legs to cling on at the end of the day and the truth is, my right leg is so weak it might just as well not be there when I’m on horseback.”

  “Then let’s hope Doc Brown’s exercises do the trick as you say. Just don’t give up hope, Arlen.” Mary cracked two eggs into the pan alongside the sizzling, wonderful smelling bacon. “It just doesn’t suit you. You’re not a giving up kind of a man.”

  “I don’t know so much, war changes you.”

  “I’ll bet it does,” she said and broke away from the stove to pour herself a mug of coffee. “And I’m not going to stand here and pretend I understand what you’ve been through. I can try to imagine it, but I don’t expect imagination is anything like the real thing.”

  “No, but thank you anyway.” He smiled.

  “But I reckon talking about things helps. I’m not trying to pry anything out of you, I just want you to know that I’m always ready to listen when you’re ready to talk.”

  “You’re a good woman, Mary Bryant.” He laughed. “You always have been. But you’ve got a life of your own to be getting on with, not to mention my brother to contend with on a daily basis. You don’t need to add me to your list.”

  “Well, there’s always room for you on the list. And who knows, maybe now that you’re home you might find someone to get close to.” She looked mischievous.

  “Maybe before, but I don’t see it now, Mary,” he said to her back as she put the bacon and eggs on a plate.

  “I don’t see why not, Arlen. You’re still a handsome man and you’re still young.”

  “With just about the worst limp anyone’s ever seen. I don’t reckon the ladies will be queueing up around the ranch for me, do you? It’s not like I’ll be taking anyone to the barn dance, is it?” He realized he sounded a little bitter and he knew that Mary didn’t deserve it. “Not unless I hop my way around,” he added humorously to lessen the blow of his own low mood.

  “Don’t underestimate yourself. You’re only just back and these things take time. But I know you, Arlen. I know what a determined man you are at heart. And I know if there’s a way to improve that leg of yours, you’ll find it. And if you can’t improve it, you’ll find a way around it. Now, if I can have faith in you, maybe you could have just a little in yourself, what do you say?”

  “I say you’d better put that plate down instead of waving it about in the air.” He laughed. “That bacon is getting cold.” She set the plate down in front of him. “Thank you. For everything, Mary,” he said, and she gave him the tenderest of smiles.

  Mary disappeared after he’d eaten to go and get her son, Jason, up out of his bed and ready for school. He was eleven now and at the age where he would sleep the clock round given the chance. Arlen smiled to himself, remembering that he had been just the same at his age.

  His brother and sister-in-law were fine parents and Arlen had always thought it a great shame that the complications of Jason’s birth had meant that Mary had never conceived again. But she and David had simply taken that news and got on with life, grateful for what they had and always looking forward, never back.

  Maybe Arlen would find a way to treat life just the same, given a little time. But he wondered just how much time it would take to feel like he belonged again. He was already isolating himself from the world and he knew it, but he just couldn’t stand the awkwardness of other folks.

  He’d been so determined to get to the church for his first visit since he’d returned home and yet, before he was even through the door, Arlen had wanted to walk away.

  There was a congregation of faces he recognized, all of them full of curiosity to see just what bad shape he was really in. But not one of them had approached him, no one had struck out across the churchyard to clap a hand on his back as they had been so keen to do in the days before he joined the First Oregon Cavalry and made his way off to war.

  He tried to remind himself that people were just people, human beings who would struggle to find the right words to say to a man who had been so badly injured. But that didn’t lessen the pain of it, the feeling of being other, an outsider in his own home town.

  Even while standing to sing the hymns, he’d felt eyes upon him and he could hardly concentrate upon the words of the songs he’d sung since childhood.

  When he turned to look at the girl who was staring at him, he was surprised to see just how beautiful she was. Still, he was sure that even beautiful young women were keen to satisfy their curiosity.

  As he sat at the kitchen table drinking the last mouthfuls of the cooling coffee, he thought how he might well have welcomed the glances of such a beautiful girl in times gone past. He would have smiled at her, even sought her out after the service to see if her daddy would let her take a walk along the riverbank.

  She had large green eyes and the clearest skin he’d ever seen, with a wide mouth and full rosy lips. Her hair was a most unusual color, being neither brown nor blonde but rather a silvery mixture of the two.

  It was her hair which had given her away and he was certain that she was the same young woman whom he had almost encountered on the riverbank days before. She’d stopped her horse, no doubt afraid of the man up ahead of her. But then, when she’d seen him begin to limp, she had hastened her horse’s step and he had immediately assumed it was so she could get a better look at the wounded creature on the riverbank.

  And so, when he’d seen her in church, he’d been entirely unable to appreciate her beauty, such was his annoyance. It somehow made it worse to be studied by somebody who seemed to be a picture of absolute perfection.

  It reminded him of his old confidence and how he had lost it. Her study of him made him feel even less than he had done walking into the church.

  Well, he had a remedy for that. Before the service was even complete, Arlen had already decided that it would be a good long while before he attended another. Instead, he’d spend his time working on whatever exercises Doc Brown gave him and do what he could to recover in privacy without the eyes of anyone on him, least of all the beautiful ashen haired young woman.

  All in all, Arlen wasn’t quite ready to slot himself fully back in to his old life just yet. He stared at the yellow sun of early summer, that wonderful light that only existed in morning, and rose from his seat to walk to the window and peer out.

  The plains stretched out for mile upon mile, most of what he could see belonging to the Bryant family ranch. That was where he wanted to be, out in the early morning air on horseback, herding cattle, repairing fences, living life as he had once done.

  That was what he wanted back and that was what he would concentrate on. For now, church and the town would just have to wait.

  Chapter 4

  Todd Garner strode into the lumberyard with so much confidence it was almost as if he owned the place. He was the sort of man who had so much fa
ith in himself that everyone around him could almost taste it and Katie was sure that he would never be the sort of man she liked, even if she took the trouble to get to know him.

  “Good afternoon, Katie,” he said and tipped his broad brimmed hat in her direction.

  “Good afternoon,” she said primly and wondered what on earth he wanted.

  Todd was a ranch hand as far as she was aware, and he’d worked many of the ranches in the area, even Jimmy and Janet’s.

  He was a well-liked man, especially among the ladies, and yet still, Katie couldn’t take to him. He was handsome, there was no doubt about it, with extraordinarily dark hair and olive colored skin. His eyes were dark too and his eyebrows thick, giving his expression an intensity which tended to make Katie a little afraid.

  “It’s a fine afternoon, isn’t it?” he went on, smiling at her in a lazy kind of way.

  He was so at ease with himself, so relaxed, Katie wondered how it was he managed to walk in a straight line.

  “I suppose so,” she said, once again wondering what on earth he was doing in there. “So, what can we do for you today?” She pointedly looked all around her at the tools, cut wood, and buckets of nails and screws, as if to remind him that he was in a lumber yard.

  “Oh, I didn’t come in for lumber or nails, I don’t have any need for them.” He laughed, a low and deep rumble seeming to emanate from his chest. “No, that’s not what I was looking for.”

  “Then are you looking for my daddy? He’s out back, I can go call him for you if you like.” Katie was beginning to grow annoyed, she could already see the way that Todd Garner was looking at her.

  “No, I wasn’t looking for your daddy either.”

  “Then what?” she said a little shortly.

  “Don’t go getting all sharp with me, honey. I came looking for you.”

  “And why have you come looking for me?” Katie asked, already knowing the answer and doing nothing to warm up her tone any.

  “I’ve come to see if you want to go to the barn dance on Saturday,” he said, his smile broadening and displaying large, straight teeth.

  “I’m already going,” she said, and heartily wished that she had not agreed to go with Janet and Jimmy.

  “I didn’t know you had a fella already.”

  “I’m going with my sister and her husband,” she said and sighed inwardly, seeing the look on his face.

  Even though she had tried to gently back away, Todd was just one more man who wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Her admission that she was going to the barn dance with her sister was just confirmation for Todd that he had a very good chance of spending much of that evening with her.

  “Oh, so I’ll see you there then,” he said with confidence that was now bordering on arrogance.

  “You’ll see a lot of people there, Todd. I reckon the barn will be full, it usually is.”

  “Why do you have to be so salty, Katie Lacey?” he said and laughed.

  “And why do you have to be so persistent?”

  “Can’t a man ask a pretty girl to a dance?” he said in a mocking tone as if he was talking to a child.

  “Of course, he can, but if she makes it clear she doesn’t want to go with him, why can’t he just leave it?”

  “Come on, I know your kind. Playing hard to get and all the while hoping I won’t lose interest in you.”

  “You really couldn’t be more wrong,” Katie said, feeling exasperated and wishing that her father would appear. “I’m not looking for your interest, Todd. It’s real kind of you and all, but I really am going to the barn dance with my sister. To spend time with her.”

  “Have it your own way,” he said amiably and shrugged. “But I reckon I’ll ask you for a dance on Saturday anyway, just to see if you’ve softened up a bit.” He laughed and tipped his hat again. “Well, see you Saturday.”

  Katie didn’t respond, just watched him leave and once again wished that she wasn’t going.

  “You sure got rid of him in a hurry,” her father said, appearing so suddenly that he made her jump.

  “Were you there all along?” Her hands flew to her hips and she glared at him.

  “Yes,” he said, humorously holding his hands out in front of him defensively. “But you seemed to be managing just fine on your own.”

  “Well, I suppose so. But that’s not the point.”

  “Sorry, I thought you’d want to deal with it yourself. And anyway, I wasn’t going anywhere. If you’d needed me, I’d have been right here, never you worry about that.”

  “All right, Daddy,” she said quietly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bite your head off. I just wish that people understood the meaning of no. ‘Do you want to go to the barn dance?’ ‘No.’ The end.”

  “I guess it’s not so simple when you’re dealing with the pride of a young man. I reckon even I had a little something of that myself a long time ago.”

  “I dare bet you were nothing like Todd Garner, Daddy. I can’t imagine you swaggering like he does.”

  “I don’t know, what do you think?” Josh Lacey said and strode across the store trying to emulate Todd Garner’s laid-back mode of walking.

  Katie had never seen anything more ridiculous in her life and was shrieking with laughter in no time as her father paraded back and forth across the store.

  “You better hope a customer doesn’t suddenly appear and see you doing that,” she said, fighting to get her breath back.

  “Oh yes, good point,” he said and stopped, peering out of the open door as if somebody might really be standing there. “No, we’re safe.”

  “Just as well.” Katie dabbed at the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand; her father really was very funny when he wanted to be.

  “So, you have no interest in Todd Garner then?”

  “None.”

  “I reckon every girl in town flutters her eyelids at him.”

  “Well, more fool them, Daddy. One look at him is enough to know that he has the attention span of a little child. He goes from girl to girl and they’re all glad to have him. I don’t understand it for a minute. He doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest.”

  “That’s probably why he’s fixed on you. He can’t quite believe that there’s a woman in town who doesn’t want him.” Josh laughed.

  “Well, that’s certainly not going to change.”

  “I’m afraid that you will encounter the odd Todd Garner or two along the way, honey. You’re a beautiful woman and guys like him just have to give it a shot.”

  “Well, I wish I wasn’t. As far as I can see, beauty is much more trouble than it’s worth.”

  “Only to the truly beautiful,” he said and laid a hand on either side of her face before kissing her squarely on the forehead.

  For the next two weeks, Katie found herself looking for Arlen everywhere. Throughout the barn dance, where Jimmy’s presence had mercifully kept Todd away, she had found herself foolishly looking at all the hay bales to see if the wounded man might be sitting there.

  But of course, to watch everybody else dancing while he could not would likely not be an ideal way for him to spend his time. And yet, she had looked for him nonetheless.

  His absence from church just one week after she had seen him there for the first time had made her wonder if he was unwell. After all, he had undoubtedly suffered a great deal in the last three years and the detriment to his health might go far beyond his wounded leg.

  When he didn’t appear for a second week, Katie wished she had the courage to approach David and Mary and ask after Arlen’s well-being. But of course, not knowing them at all, that courage did not make an appearance.

  Some days later, Katie was taking her father’s correspondence down to the mail office, mainly special orders for clients which needed to come in from suppliers in the far north of Oregon. It was a regular responsibility and one she welcomed, for Katie generally stopped at the diner on the way back for a slice of pie.

  And that day was no differe
nt. Having passed the time with the post master in the mail office, Katie had ambled along the sunlit street on her way to the diner.

  Summer was really beginning to show itself now and she wished she had worn a short-sleeved dress that day, the better to soak up the warming rays of the sun. She felt carefree as she made her way, not concentrating on anything in particular, just enjoying the warmth and the hope that there would be some apple pie on offer today in the diner.

  And, seeing the robust frame of Connie Langdon making her way into the diner ahead of her raised her spirits even higher. She really did like her ma’s dear friend and so she quickened her pace, keen to catch up with her.

  “Well, hello there, Katie,” Connie said, spotting Katie immediately even as she settled herself down at the table nearest the counter. “Are you going to come and join me?”

  “I sure am,” Katie said with a bright smile as she took a seat at Connie’s table.

  “Running your daddy’s mail again?”

  “Yes, I have just dropped in at the mail office. What about you? Taking a well-earned break?”

  “Well, I don’t reckon I work as hard now as I used to since I limited myself to two guests only at the boarding house.” Connie chuckled. “But I do like the taste of coffee I have not had to make myself.”

  “No change there.” Katie laughed.

  Connie was one of the people in town whom Katie admired greatly. A widow of many years standing, she was as hard-working in her old age as she had been her entire life. Nonetheless, it had been a relief to all who knew her when she had cut her boarding house vacancies down a little.

  “So, your ma tells me that you finally gave in and went to the barn dance,” Connie said with a laugh. “Was it as bad as you were expecting?”

  “Honestly, no. But I reckon that was only because Jimmy guarded me.”

  “That brother-in-law of yours sure is a good one.”

  “He is, and he understands that I don’t want the kind of attention that other girls like. It is just not for me, Connie. And Jimmy has a real nice way of doing it, not getting into fights with folk or being aggressive. He’s kind of a natural at looking out for us. Kind of like a big brother.”