by Erin R Flynn
“If he truly found out what you are, he would have ousted me and done worse than I’m sure I already feared.” He let out another sigh as he stood and went over to the sideboard, pouring himself a large drink. It was then I noticed he wasn’t the put together headmaster I knew but a wrinkled, exhausted version. “I’m not angry, because my way wasn’t working and I didn’t know how to fix the problem.”
“He had someone big in his pocket, didn’t he?” I surmised, groaning when he nodded. “How did that turn out?”
“A councilman lost his seat and is going to be in the cell a few down from my father,” he admitted with a dark chuckle. “But that’s actually what cleared me of wrongdoing, as I knew he had a council member in his pocket but not which one.”
“And how could you report it if one was dirty? Fuck.”
“Exactly. So as much as I would have rather not have dragged my whole bloodline through the mud, this blow-up was the only way to cut out all the cancer.”
“You okay?”
He took a long drink from his glass, which spoke volumes more than words could. “I received a deep slap on the wrist, which is exactly what I deserve. I’m on probation with the council and my position here on eggshells. The whole school is being audited from top to bottom and by more than the witches council.” He shot me a quick glance. “I made sure your address was erased from the system.”
“Oh boy. So people are going to use this to look into me?”
He snorted. “There was a lengthy section of my questioning about you while I was forced to have my mental shields lowered. The only saving grace was the guests from other councils who interviewed you objecting that there was no reason to out you when you’ve worked so hard to stay undeclared.”
I blew a raspberry as I sank in the chair. “Yeah, I figured there was a risk to out myself by doing what I did but honestly your dad scared the shit out of me. I’ve been around my share of monsters and crazy and your dad is in my top five. All he saw when he looked at me was a tool to use and abuse, a new toy he would enjoy riding all over the place, and I hit the self-destruct button because that was still a better option.”
“Craftsman said the same. He said something about you and what Father saw set off his crazy in a way Craftsman had never seen before.” He chuckled when I shot him a curious glance. “My father is the master of control and wearing masks or he would have been busted many years ago. I don’t think anyone has ever seen through him so fast before.”
That was fair. I’d already read that fairies had strong intuition so what I was made my gut instincts so powerful and on the mark.
“I’ve always been good at getting monsters to take off the masks. I think it makes more sense now that I know what I am. I read in a journal that our power makes evil react with more evil but those with good react with good. That’s the balance we give sometimes.”
“Interesting.”
“Want good news?”
“I would love some,” he drawled.
“I read more of Conall Townsend’s instructions for the next house after we finished the main estate. He made reference to the journals I gave you and the fact I should of course translate them before giving them over because why would the university want books in Faerie that held no secrets fairies keep.”
“Oh dear, yes, he would assume you knew their ways,” he muttered as he took his seat. “You have enough on your plate than to worry about translating them.”
“It’s basically a fairy rune,” I told him, nodding when his eyes went wide. “Yeah, I basically mentally draw a rune over the book and push magic into it and it will change the writing to the language I want. So they’ll still be cool old journals, just in English.”
“Fairies never cease to amaze me,” he whispered, shaking his head. He winced. “I will see where the witches council auditors are working. It would be best I pulled the books and scans first.”
“Yeah, I hoped that would be your answer. I really can’t leave any evidence on how to translate Faerie. It’s the one huge warning I keep seeing through all the books and journals I’m reading. They were firm believers in absolute power corrupting absolutely and only their practices kept them cleansed of that corruption. Something locked away in their language holds the keys to a lot of power.”
“As tempting as that is to even someone on the better path like me, I understand as our world has too much darkness since the fairies left. We might have been sexist and behind on the progress humans have made as we live longer and that means generations don’t change mindsets as fast, but we were better people then. Those secrets getting out now would be devastating.”
“Glad we agree because I might not know much of being a fairy, but I will protect what my people did even if I’m the last.”
10
Thursday afternoon I was helping Ayesha and the others set up for the event the next day when Darby came storming into the events room. I glanced over my shoulder in time to see him before he grabbed me and kissed me with all he had. I moaned and threw my arms around his neck, hanging on as he about devoured me.
“Um, hi?” I panted when he was done.
“Sorry,” he grumbled, leaning his forehead down to mine. “The rumors got to me and I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“What rumors?” I asked as I lowered my arms and rubbed my hands over his chest.
Ayesha snorted. “That you guys were a one date thing given no one’s seen you sucking face on campus like all the other couples. Ignoring the fact you’re clearly not a couple yet. Guys have been giving him crap they’re taking you ‘out’ next. Plus, his stock has risen with the girls so he’s got a fan club after seeing he’s a hot, gentleman date instead of a grumpy vamp.”
“Since when do you listen to idiots?” I asked Darby.
“I don’t and I know what we are but I just…” He shook his head. “I just needed to kiss you and clear the crazy.”
I snickered, rolling my eyes when he gave me a confused look. “There is too much crazy around this place to ever completely clear it.”
As if to prove my point, the next drama bomb landed a few minutes later.
“So I was wondering if you’d want to have dinner Saturday night,” Darby muttered as he played with my ponytail. “I thought we could go get the fae fruit and stuff you promised others and use the portal there to go try a huge taco challenge. We could bring it all back Sunday and just have some easy fun.”
“Are you asking to spend the night on the second date?” I teased him.
He snorted. “I’ll stay in the same guest room. Or we could just sleep.”
“Sounds good,” I agreed after thinking it over and what I had to do. “Yeah, that could work. We’ll take the bigger SUV and load it up.”
“Wait, you’re Tams of Tams’s Girls?” a guy asked way too loudly as he pointed to the booth. “At least three of them are Tams’s Girls. You were in porn? You give us all this crap about being better than all of us rich, spoiled kids, and you’re a porn star? You’ve got to be kidding me, right?”
The sigh I let out was down to my soul. “Someone call Mel, she suggested we use the models and I’m not explaining all of this.”
“Tell me you weren’t in porn,” Darby whispered as people blew up all over the place. “Please, please tell me you weren’t in porn.”
I blinked up at him. “So what if I was?”
He let go of me so fast it felt like a physical slap. The look in his eyes was a punch to the gut to top it off. Just for the final nail in the coffin, he took a step back. “By the gods, why would you ever do porn? You’re kidding me right now, yeah?”
I snorted, pointedly looking at the space he’d put between us, the entire event room watching us and seeing it too. “Wow, so agreeing to go out with my tutor was really stupid.”
His face went pale. “You really did it. You did porn? Why, Tamsin?”
“Well, because starving didn’t sound like much fun,” I snapped. “It pays for stuff like food and you kno
w, not living on the street.”
“And she didn’t,” Mel announced to the group.
“But I almost did,” I told Darby, seething at his reaction and how wrong I’d been about him. “I ran away at fifteen from an abusive sexual predator who was murdering his foster kids. So you know, my options were kinda fucking limited as I didn’t have a parent to provide for me. I was much poorer than you and had nothing. So yeah, some of the girls said I should lie about my age and do porn and it sounded like an option.”
“But you didn’t do it so why are we arguing about this?” he asked me, frowning when he reached for me and I wouldn’t let him touch me. “Do you just want to argue about stuff?”
“Well, Sean won the betting pool,” Mel chuckled darkly. “I hoped he was wrong but apparently he wins at you never getting to a second date.”
“Why not?” Darby asked.
“Dude, quit while you’re behind,” one of his friends suggested.
“Wait, were you in porn or not? What is he talking about?” Craftsman asked and I couldn’t even look at him to see if there was judgment too.
“It was some of the women you saved,” Natalie surmised.
I nodded, thinking she was safer. “Yeah, they banded together and formed their own site and made videos. It’s a Charlie’s Angels spoof instead of the normal pizza delivery guy shtick or whatever. I’m not in any of it. It’s their way of thanking me or whatever, that they’re always my saves and always stand with me.”
“You bothered to save sex workers?” that first guy asked, and I got pissed.
“One thought she had a rich boyfriend and found out she was the mistress and that douche sold her to pay his debts. That’s how she got into it which is sex trafficking since she didn’t have a choice. So yeah, that’s someone we helped get out and if she wanted to make friggin’ porn on her terms after her life was destroyed then good for her. You fucking watch it so don’t judge them for making it.”
“Tams had nothing to do with it. I did. I needed a breather after what I went through and we got enough to rent a house and I helped them build it up. I still edit the videos and run a lot of the site,” Mel told them. “So what? I edit videos. Who cares if they’re porn or they’re cam girls? Gamers look so down at cam girls but really, they’re doing the same thing streaming, so people need to judge less.”
“I don’t care, I don’t, and I’m grateful they helped us so fast and sent out what they got,” Natalie started, looking at her group.
“But if anyone else recognizes them as porn stars modeling for you it’s going to be a strike against you in our judgmental world,” Mel finished for her. “Yeah, I realized that and that’s why I was coming here after I was done with training. I can Photoshop you guys with the dresses if we hurry and do some new shots in the same poses. We did this so fast I didn’t think it through.”
“I’ll get my cameras and makeup so we can do everyone pretty,” Izzy offered. “If people just wear a towel that should leave them bare enough for you to put any dress on, right?”
“Yeah, that’s good,” Mel agreed before looking at me. “Were you wrapping up here?”
“Um, yeah, I was just going over what I was doing as a server.”
“Good. We’ll need you for pictures. Can you help Izzy grab what we need? I’ll find a room in the student union we can use.”
“Got it.” Good, because I wanted to get out of there and get some air.
“Wait, we’re not leaving it at this,” Darby cut in when I stepped away, grabbing my arm.
I looked at his hand and steam about came out of my ears when I glared at him. “I admit I almost did porn with friends and you just think it’s okay to touch me when you want now?”
He instantly dropped his hand. “No, that doesn’t change… I understand why you might have done it. That doesn’t mean I have to like it, Tamsin.”
“But if I had it would have been a deal breaker, right?” I pushed, trying to get him to understand why he was being such a jerk so this would just be done. He opened his mouth but then closed it. “Or it would be if I’d done it just because I wanted to is what you’re saying? Doing porn instead of stealing food is the acceptable line but if I’d done it for kicks, that you couldn’t handle?”
“No, I’m not saying—”
“What if my foster dad had raped me? Would that be the line?”
His cheeks flushed as his eyes flared with anger. “That’s very different and you know it.”
“Do I? Do you?” I demanded. “What’s the line of acceptable to you? I’ve been sexually assaulted. Does that make you back away?”
“That’s different,” he repeated. “You wouldn’t like it if I’d done porn before you!”
“No, I wouldn’t care,” I told him honestly. “If you wanted to do it while dating me, that’s something I’d need to talk about, but what you did before me isn’t my business. Your life before me isn’t for me to judge. Unless you were breaking the law or something terrible, it’s not my place. But apparently you think it’s yours. So fuck you, Darby.”
I left, wondering what else would go wrong next. Maybe that was the reason I’d gotten involved with more than one man… It wouldn’t hurt so much when it ended with one of them.
Yeah, right, sure, now I could just convince myself of that.
Craftsman caught up with us as we reached our room and slid in before I could close the door since I was trying to pretend I didn’t see him. “Let me weigh in before you assume the worst of me.”
I sighed, nodding as I closed the door. “Say your piece.”
“I would have a problem if you had to do it because you were backed in a corner,” he said gently.
“Me too,” Izzy chirped in. “That’s fucked up and it upsets me even when strippers start because they have no other option. If they do it for the money and don’t have options, that’s sad life is so harsh. If they do it for the money to pay for school or work towards something, I get that. Fuck, if they do it just because they want to, cool, even if I wish they had better conditions.
“Same with porn or being a cam girl. That’s your thing? Cool. If that’s the only option, it bothers me as life shouldn’t be that cruel. It would bug me because of the shit you’d get because of it. Unfair, yeah, but you would, and as your friend, that would bother me. But if you want to do porn and let creepers all over the world masturbate to you, let your freak flag fly, Tams.”
“Agreed, until that last part,” Craftsman muttered, rubbing his hand over his head. “I wouldn’t judge you for doing it, but I would have a hard time—I would need some time to reconcile with men all over the world enjoying your intimate times. What you did was before me, but that’s something special I get of you now. That part of you is mine.”
“And if others still got it, that would be hard as porn is forever,” I sighed. “Okay, yeah, I can see that. I didn’t think of it on that level, just how he reacted to the idea, like he couldn’t stand to touch me and I was dirty.” I shrugged as I sat on my bed. “Mel was already training me to fight and I entered some fights that weren’t legal for the prizes.”
“And to you that’s not better than porn that’s legal,” he offered, sighing when I nodded. “You’re nineteen, so it wouldn’t have been legal unless in the last year or so. I think that’s a bit of the disturbing factor.”
I winced. That was fair too. “I get what you’re saying. And I could get taking pause or needing a moment to catch up, but if you’re saying you’re out if I’d done it, that’s not okay with me. If you can judge that harshly, then I’m not sticking around to see what line I cross that I wouldn’t apologize for that you’re going to call it quits over.”
“That’s fair, and for the record, no, I wouldn’t have been out.” He cleared his throat and squatted in front of me. “I would have asked if you would let me make it go away with magic now though.” He held up a hand to stop whatever I was going to say next. “You don’t understand our world, Tamsin. More than that, it�
��s not only about you.”
“Oh, yeah, ouch, a professor at Artemis would lose his job if he was involved with someone who did porn,” Izzy said with a groan.
Yeah, I hadn’t thought about that either. “I could understand that and I’d be fine with you asking if you explained it. You also did it here, alone, not dropped me like I was trash in front of everyone there.”
“I saw your aura and how it crushed you,” he murmured. “I’m sorry. I don’t think he understood what he was saying and doing.”
“Whatever, I just need a new tutor,” I grumbled, not able to look at either of them. “I didn’t think about that when I crossed the line. You’re going to help me with Latin anyways and it’s just math and physics, right? I’m sure I can find a lot on YouTube. I’m not an idiot, just dirty trash having thought to do porn.”
I let out a pained chuckle and stood, done with the conversation.
Fuck, I was done with the day. That had been such a horrible point in my life and I agreed with Izzy that if people wanted to do it or enjoyed it, good for them but for me, it was a rock bottom I’d barely survived.
“I need to take a shower. Mel will know,” I muttered, grabbing my stuff and heading for the bathroom.
I cleaned up and brought what Izzy left for me to, Craftsman staying with me and not saying a word as we walked back. I think he realized I just needed some silence for the moment at least try to have it in my head.
Darby wasn’t there when we got back and that was for the best, but the tension in the group was high. Leave it to Izzy to cut through that and say what everyone else was already thinking.
“Okay, I gotta know,” she huffed. “You lived with porn stars, Mel? You know them? How does the spoof work?”
“I own part of the company and that includes the house,” Mel explained. “The girls all have part ownership too and all their cam money or livestreams are theirs directly. And it’s like a sorority house but with filming areas and whatnot.”
“The spoof is just goofy,” I muttered as I changed into a towel behind the curtain. “They pay some voice actor to say lines like he’s codename Tams and he sends them on a mission. It’s some awesome editing, but I’ve only seen a couple as, hi, it’s weird watching them have sex when I know them. They do some Superman spin of changing outfits and go on their mission.”