by Erin R Flynn
“Which is normally to gobble up some severely sex-deprived guy,” Mel snickered. “They invite other porn guys to film that series or other stuff and those are the interesting days.” She shrugged when I glanced at her. “It was a nice break from this world and life. It might be just porn but they have lives now and it’s all theirs, not working for anyone else. It’s their choice.”
“What’s it like to have the guys there knowing how they perform?” Ayesha asked.
“Tempting,” Mel purred. “I did sample one on the side and he was even better than his videos. He asked me to date but I didn’t think I could handle dating someone with that job.” She shot me a look that it was fair to say that.
I nodded but I wanted to leave it alone for right then.
After we took the replacement shots, I ended up having a conversation with Hudson that echoed what Craftsman had said. Basically he wouldn’t have judged me but it would cause problems for him as a prince and he would have jealousy issues with other guys seeing me that way. I could understand that.
“It bothers me because you didn’t want to do it, clearly you didn’t,” he muttered.
I pulled my knees to my chest, rocking a bit on the fallen tree we were sitting on in the dragon area.
“I’d almost been raped and sexually assaulted a few times. Then I had sex with some douche and I thought, if I was going to just be someone people used, why not get paid for it and be able to fucking eat when I wanted? It was maybe the lowest point for me because I was ready to give up.
“And if people want to do that, I wouldn’t judge them either, but for me, it was a line I couldn’t cross being private. I decided right then that I’d rather die fighting to save others and help people who were stuck like I’d been than sell myself for something I couldn’t stomach or accept. Mel didn’t know I was thinking about it or struggling until I told her I wanted to go back out and fight while she settled in.”
“You are so much stronger than any of us, my princess,” he whispered as he pulled me on his lap.
I accepted his hug and comfort, almost caving and crying for the younger me that had been through so much. I couldn’t though; no tears came. It took me a bit to realize it was because my current self still had too much to deal with and fight through. I couldn’t look back with relief I’d survived.
Not when I was still fighting all the time.
11
“My mate would absolutely love such a fine gown,” a guy said to me as he reached out to touch my dress.
“Sorry, no touching the models,” I replied as I sidestepped him. I leaned in closer to his ear as I moved by him. “I doubt your mate would like how you were only staring at my breasts.”
“You should be nicer to me,” he growled as he spun on me. “I could make or break your little booth.”
“It’s not mine. I’m one of the models and backers of the company.” I batted my eyelashes at him. “And I am being nice. I’m not telling your mate you’re shopping for a fling to cheat on her.” I nodded behind him to the woman approaching us. “Is that her?”
He practically flew away from me towards her, and I swallowed my disgust. He wasn’t the first to hit on me but he was the scuzziest. Some men needed to be fixed like dogs who humped legs.
Really, they did.
“Why am I not shocked you’re to be found with such a wise venture?” Mrs. Vogel asked me as I picked up a fresh tray of drinks.
I turned to smile at her, dipping my head to Mr. Vogel as well. “Because I’m your favorite student at Artemis?”
Hudson and Mr. Vogel both snorted as she chuckled. Someday I’d get both men to smile or laugh together. I knew I had it in me.
“Over my own son?” she teased me.
“I’m much prettier in heels,” I threw right back, batting my eyelashes. “He’s a disaster in them.”
“If you could find heels in my size that would be impressive,” Hudson drawled. “I wore a pair of heeled boots once as a child because I thought the leather was for battle. Don’t act like you knew that or I prance around in heels.”
“I didn’t but that’s ridiculously cute,” I cooed. “I can’t imagine you a wittle kid. You’re too quiet a mountain now.”
“You’ve been called worse,” Mrs. Vogel chuckled. “I hear Jeremy Sims’s hobgoblin co-op is doing impressively well for such a short time being open. They’re building hobgoblin housing like they had in Faerie and all will be hidden by glamour. And they planted their first cotton field with the machine Jeremy purchased.”
“I didn’t know they’d be cotton farming,” I admitted. I had heard they would need more land with the cattle but beyond that, I didn’t know.
“Yes, that’s the fae material they make. It’s like a finer and sturdier cotton than humans. Think Egyptian and Turkish quality combined,” she explained. “People are salivating at the idea of it coming back on the market.”
“It seemed a group thought to take it over and found themselves with a pack of fae dogs to change their minds,” Mr. Vogel said, his voice amused.
Yeah, that had been me but he didn’t know it. When I’d sent Chief to find other fae dogs he’d done it and more. I had two other pack leaders sworn to me as he was.
One pack I sent to help Jeremy and the hobgoblins. They kept to the far side of the cattle ranch so as to not upset the cows and dropped off gifts of fae dust to help get everything going.
And Jeremy left out a cow for them now and again. That was not a meal I wanted to watch as fae dogs were scary enough. I really didn’t want to watch them dig into a live cow.
However, they’d also helped with the coyote problem the area had. Yikes!
“I hadn’t heard about that,” I muttered. “Was anyone hurt?”
“Well, they killed the group but no, Jeremy and the hobgoblins are fine,” he told me easily.
“Wow, so they’re pretty lethal,” I muttered, nodding when all three of them snorted. “Good thing I feed the ones on the property I inherited and they like us.”
“Like most fair folk, they can sense ill intent,” Mrs. Vogel explained. “Even if you weren’t so sweet and immediately wanted to take care of the dogs, they wouldn’t attack for no reason. Clearly they want to protect other fair folk like they would in Faerie and understand enough that it’s a hobgoblin sanctuary.”
I nodded. “They are that smart.” I tapped my head when Mr. Vogel shot me a curious glance. “I can hear them like I can Hudson’s dragon. They’re about the same level of intelligence. They can’t communicate it as well but they’re far from those dog treat commercials that have the inner voices chanting bacon again and again.”
“That’s fascinating,” he muttered, blinking at me curiously before looking at his mate. “Has your sister ever listened to them?”
She snorted. “She’s never gotten close enough. Fae dogs are notoriously skittish around any other species besides fair folk or fairies. Jeremy says his wolf is having trouble not trying to dominate their Alpha and the same back, but for the hobgoblins and what Gantar Evans wanted, they’re at a ceasefire.”
“Who came to take the sanctuary?” I asked them. “How did they think they could just take it over and there not be an issue?”
“Wolves,” Mr. Vogel muttered quietly. “And it’s their laws that challenging an Alpha and taking over gives them what the Alpha had. They planned to ride that line it seems, but Jeremy Sims doesn’t own it all outright, which they didn’t know.”
“Plus, he’s a lone wolf so there are different rules,” Mrs. Vogel added. “It’s a shame as he’d be a wonderful Alpha of a pack.”
I snorted. “According to him, his Alpha knew that too.” I shrugged. “I think he’s got his pack now even if they’re not other wolf shifters. Irma says he’s fiercely protective of the hobgoblins.”
“I think anyone with a heart has to be as they’re such nice people,” Mrs. Vogel agreed.
“I heard Katrina Calloway was blown away by the booth of your witch friends,” M
r. Vogel told me. “She’s financing a store for them after they graduate if they become exclusive contractors for only her branch of Veritas Portas.”
“They are talented to take the older, vintage gowns we saw in the presentation and turn them into updated gems,” Mrs. Vogel praised. “It’s also a smart venture that many have commented they’re surprised no one thought of it sooner. I believe they’re going to be working weekends and over breaks of school so no one opens before they graduate. They will need stock and fast.”
“That won’t be a problem,” I promised, smiling when she shot me a questioning look. “I can’t give away all their secrets. I’m an investor after all.”
That and we already had some plans in the works. It was actually Professor White who was their witch advisor—and the witch master’s program advisor—and she agreed to a field trip with any who wanted to help. We were going to clean out all the Goodwills and secondhand stores in LA next weekend. I was pretty sure Katrina Calloway was planning to send her staff to do the same in NYC.
That woman could smell a good deal and idea a mile away.
And with Claudia agreeing to take them on as a client, I didn’t even have to worry about anyone taking advantage of them. It had been a match made in heaven, Claudia being the type of tough protection they’d need not to get screwed over. And Claudia was glad not to have douche clients that was normally what a prestigious law firm like theirs got.
That part was my investment. I was covering legal stuff and would front the money for their official launch at the end of the school year with Calloway’s help. Well, that was the pitch if she agreed to the deal.
Which apparently she had, according to the Vogels.
“Hey, um, hi, Tamsin,” the guy from yesterday who had busted me as being involved with the Tams’s Girls greeted a bit later when I was off to the side reloading my tray. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”
“It’s fine, I can get the shock.” Mostly I said it because I didn’t want problems, but he’d been a dick.
“No, it’s more than that and I got all up on my pedestal. I don’t judge them or anyone who does porn. I got pissy because sometimes you tend to lump all of us with money with jerks like the Wards and it’s not fair. I stuck my foot in it though and I wanted to apologize for lashing out.”
That I could understand and honestly accept. “It’s cool. I’m sorry if I made you feel I lump everyone in with the Wards. I don’t. There are good families or people who come from money. I’ve not had as much interaction with them, but I assume everyone can’t be assholes.”
“Thanks.” He cleared his throat again and then it hit me.
“You want to meet them.”
“I do, fuck, I so do,” he whispered, looking like he was going to burst with excitement. “You know how to get in touch with them, right?”
I snorted. That was the understatement of the year. “I could hook you up as one of their ‘fan service’ dates.”
He groaned, like groaned, and I understood why. It wasn’t just like some porn stars who made videos saying it was a fan or labeling that way. It was like a whole party for the guy and a lot of servicing from all of them until the guy couldn’t take it anymore.
The problem was getting them to leave after or not become creepy stalkers. There had been a few nutfucks who wouldn’t go away.
“No stalking them later if you do it,” I warned. “Finding guys who won’t stalk the house or them is the hard part.”
“I won’t, I swear it, and I am a fan. I subscribe to the site.” His whole face flushed red hot at admitting that. “Shit, that would be the experience of a lifetime and just—I want to do that before I’m mated when I graduate. I’ll wear a mask and not stalk them, I promise.”
“Wait, if you’re engaged…”
He snorted. “Not engaged, betrothed. Lots of us set up for alliance matings after we graduate unless we can find reason to get out of them and not get kicked out of our families. The guy who was stuck with Blake Ward adores you as his parents pulled the plug on that one. They’ll find someone else to mate him off to as that’s how the elites roll.”
Gross. That was so, so gross and outdated that my stomach churned at the idea.
“Talk to Mel, she’ll set it up. I would suggest bringing something nice for them in thanks. Don’t be the slime that brings edible oils or shit for them to enjoy it more. And if you pop a pill or potion to go on and on, don’t do it in front of them. It makes them feel cheap, like you’re trying to get your money’s worth.”
“That is so disturbing,” he hissed. “I thought I’d bring chocolates or treats.”
“That’s nice.” I walked off before we got into more details about his fantasy night with the porn stars I knew.
And that wasn’t even the weirdest thing that had happened to me all week. Not even close.
I had a few ideas rattling around in my head I wanted to talk to Claudia and Calloway about after listening to some of the feedback from the booth.
Overall the reception was good and the event seemed killer. I checked out other booths later and was in awe of the range magic and supes could have with their power. I made sure to skip the booth Darby was helping some older scholarship students with, but I felt his eyes on me a few times throughout the night.
Yeah, I’d have to handle that and soon. Just not that night.
I was already booked, it seemed, because after it was over, I was whisked off to Craftsman’s office, where he and my dragon made sure I knew they really, really liked when I was all dressed up. And they didn’t like all the men eyeing me over in the hopes of finding out what was under the gown. That was only for them.
And they showed me why when I tried to object to being possessive of me.
They won the argument.
Several times.
12
Saturday morning Darby was at my door with a few huge yellow roses and several large totes with what smelled delicious. I wasn’t awake enough to connect the dots so I simply stared at him, waiting to see where he was going with this.
“Can we talk? I wanted to apologize for how I handled the situation and talk now that I’m not… I don’t do well with shock,” he muttered, handing the roses over. “Please? I thought a lot about what I did and I just want to talk about it. If you don’t want to see me again after I explain, I’ll understand, but I hope you’ll give me the chance to fix this.”
I took the roses and nodded before glancing at the totes. “And those?”
“I begged Irma for help and a breakfast picnic. I thought we could enjoy outside since it’s not too cold but a nice fall Saturday morning.”
“Let me change.” I closed the door in his face and sighed. Maybe this was stupid but if the situation was reversed, I hoped he’d give me the chance to explain as well. I could do that.
As long as there was food involved too.
I stuck the gorgeous roses in a glass of water, knowing enough about roses that yellow was asking for forgiveness. Then I threw on a fuzzy sweater and slippers with hard soles so I could use them to go out. I didn’t have the energy for more and my cami had a bra in it so at least the girls had some support.
I left Izzy a note on the whiteboard we had for that and locked up behind me. He surprised me again when we didn’t go out to the quad but towards the woods in the all access area.
He stopped before we got to the tree line and I saw there was a bench there and like the ones on the quad it folded out into a picnic table. I did that and he set it all down, not pushing when I sat on the other side from him.
“I’m sorry I reacted as harshly as I did,” he muttered as he set an open container filled with breakfast burritos in front of me. “I didn’t mean to make it seem as if I was disgusted with you or it was a deal breaker. I won’t apologize for having a what the fuck moment to learning the woman I was seeing possibly did porn. That’s not a normal past to easily accept.”
That was fair and I acknowledged it.
“And
I’m sorry I did it in front of people instead of taking the conversation private. That’s my default but my mind was just reeling, Tamsin.” He shook his head when I opened my mouth to defend myself. “It’s not a judgment. It’s that you’re a private person and maybe one of the last people I could see wanting to have their sex life recorded.”
Again, that was fair and I said so.
“That’s what I reacted so strongly to. Well, that and the fact you didn’t sound like you’d wanted to do it.” He cleared his throat again as he opened more containers. “Your reaction screamed one of PTSD, Tamsin. You weren’t just defending yourself or arguing but there was a panic in your eyes and that was part of my reaction as well.”
I winced. Yeah, that was pretty accurate and observant. “Part of it was how quick and harsh your reaction. You acted like you were touching shit and dropped me, backed away.”
“I realized that’s how it seemed. I’m sorry for that. It was not how I felt. I did have a moment of who are you but that’s what I said before that you are too private. I will say that I can absolutely say the type of person who does porn or even puts their whole life on social media isn’t the type of person I want to be involved with. It’s not a judgment as being beneath me but fitting with who I am.”
Shit. I had overreacted. He was completely right. “That’s fair, but that’s if now. If you would drop me because I had something like that in my past—we all make mistakes or change our mind.”
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right and my reaction was too harsh. My mind exploded and then wouldn’t work. If you had done porn in the past to survive I wouldn’t have held that against you. I would have understood. If you want that sort of life, that would be harder for me to deal with as someone dating you, not that I would judge you.”