Steamy Proposal (Alphalicious Billionaires Book 8)

by Lindsey Hart

  Ross sighed. She let him go first, since his eyes were burning and he was grinding his teeth, making his jaw clench and click like he did when he had something important he wanted to say, but wasn’t quite sure how to say it.

  She waited. She gave him time. She’d given him her entire life. She could wait a few minutes more.

  “Alix, I want to tell you how- I know it sounds crazy, but watching you these past months- I was just- before…”

  He worked hard to compose himself. She could see how frustrated he was, since his jaw was ticking and clenching all over the place, so she traced the worn out seat with her fingertips until she found his hand, warm and alive, strong, a little rough, powerful, all Ross, and wound her fingers through his.

  She edged in closer, reached out with her other hand, and smoothed his scruffy mahogany hair off his forehead. She let her hand trail down and cupped his jaw.

  “I know,” she said softly. “I know. I got the memo that you changed your mind.”

  “It was that night right here,” he admitted, glancing up through the window at the tower that stood like a sentinel from another time, so very close to the car. “That night that we talked. Honestly. Openly, probably for the first time ever, really.”

  She understood exactly what he meant. They’d laid their hearts bare without even fully meaning to. They’d sat like friends. She’d been there with him on one of the worst nights of his life and he’d let her. They were open to each other, not just with each other, their souls reaching and tangling and tripping all over each other.

  “I don’t know why I was so blind for so long. To everything. I- Chance and I- we acted like idiots growing up. When you’re a guy, people don’t want you to have feelings. They don’t want you to have emotions and shit. They just want you to be there for a good time. I worked so hard to build a reputation like that because I thought that’s what you were supposed to do, that I forgot about anything and everything else. I let people think that I was stupid. That I was just out for a good time. I took all these other girls out, expecting to find something, some meaning in it, and there was just- nothing. It was totally empty.”

  “I always knew you weren’t stupid. You shouldn’t say that.”

  “Did you know that Chance is pretty smart too?”

  Alix snorted. “Now that I’d have to see to believe.”

  “See. That’s what I mean. It’s all an act. It’s-”

  “I know,” she squeezed Ross’s hand. “I was kidding. I’m sorry. That’s a shitty time to make a joke. Ross, I always knew you were smart. You weren’t just some dumb jock who was amazing at football and then decided not to go to college on a full ride because he was lazy. I knew you just needed time to figure out what you wanted. Growing up, I thought you and Chance could do anything. I’m sorry that I was so mad and immature and angry and ridiculous about what happened before prom. I shouldn’t have asked you. I was just this stupid, hopeful kid. I should never have asked you like that.”

  “I shouldn’t have responded the way I did.” His hand tightened around hers. “It’s the past though.”

  “We’re here now. Even though I’m not totally sure what that means.”

  “I want to do something with my life, Alix. I want to set my parents up so they can retire, or at least, force them to do it. I want to go somewhere. See the world. Do shit that I didn’t do before because I was too afraid to leave here and when I finally got that kick in the ass that I needed and had the money, mom got sick. I- watching her go through that- them telling her that it might just be all over, it makes you really evaluate what’s important. What you want to do. What you want out of all of this before you don’t get another chance.”

  “I know,” Alix breathed, her heart hammering wildly. “We’re still both really young. I understand why you feel that way, but trying to figure things out, Ross, it’s okay. That you didn’t know before. I knew you weren’t dumb. I knew you had the ability to do anything you wanted. You freaking made more money in stocks overnight than anyone could even dream of. You invested your inheritance. If you’d lost, you wouldn’t have anything. I think that’s what most people don’t think about. I know that people don’t know about your mom and what’s going on and what happened before, but- Ross- I’ve seen you with her these past two months. I know you have the best heart. I’ve always thought that. Even when you didn’t choose to use it. You were always there for me. Sometimes I knew it. Sometimes I didn’t. You’ve always watched out for me.”

  “Except the one night you needed me most.”

  Alix felt her face heat up. She stared ahead, at Bertha’s steering wheel. “That wasn’t right. I’m sorry I put you in that position. Twice. It was immature and stupid. Both times.”

  “It’s over now,” Ross reminded her gently. “We’re here now. What I really want to talk about is the past two months. Watching you. With mom. How you were always there when I needed you. How you always would be, even if we never got where you wanted to be. That’s true maturity. That’s true selflessness. That’s true friendship. You’re not some kid anymore, Alix, and I finally realized it. You’re a grown woman. A beautiful woman. A woman with a good head and a great heart. You freaking graduated college already and I’ve never even gone.”

  “Yeah, well, newsflash, my parents paid for a Business Degree. It’s not what I wanted to do. You know I wanted to go into design. Art. Anything but Business. They won, though, and now I’m going to go and get some stupid desk job and hate it for the next thirty to forty years.”

  “No, you’re not.” Ross shook his head. His hand squeezed hers until it was almost painful. “That’s not going to be your life.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says me. I have literally over a billion dollars. I’m never going to spend all that, although I can think of a few good ways. I’ve been thinking. Mom loves Ireland. She’s wanted to go forever. There are some really nice properties there for sale. I think she and my dad would love to retire there. After this last scare, I finally think they’re ready. There’s this house, well, it’s actually an old castle, that I’ve been looking at…”

  “You’re leaving?” Alix’s mouth dropped open while her heart dropped somewhere around her toes. She winced. Bertha was so clean. Old, but clean. She didn’t want to have to bend down, fumble around, and pick up her still beating heart and thrust it back into her chest. It would make an awful mess.

  “Yeah. I’m leaving. I’m going to put the offer in tomorrow.”

  She ripped her hand away and faced Ross. His face was deadly serious. He wasn’t just joking to get a reaction out of her. His eyes burned furiously, with a determination and a light she’d never seen before.

  “You- you can’t leave!’

  “It’s happening. I know mom and dad will come if I buy it. I’m not going to give them time to think about it and change their minds. I don’t know what I want to do yet, but I’m going to figure that shit out. Over there. And everywhere. As soon as I get them settled, I’m going off travelling for a couple of years. See all the places I never thought I’d be brave enough to see.”

  Alix tried to force out some words, any words, but she choked on her own saliva. Ross’s brow wrinkled into a deep frown of concern.

  “Are you okay? Alix? What’s going on? Why are you looking at me like that?”

  Because you basically just told me that you might be able to love me one day and now, you’re leaving! Because you’re leaving me behind. You’re going off without me. Because you just wanted in my freaking pants!

  She jerked away, retreating as far as she could go. In Bertha, that was pretty freaking far. There was an entire big blue bench seat of distance between them.

  “I- I just- I’m so stupid…” The tears were coming so she gave up on trying to keep talking. What was there she could say to that anyway? Her throat burned, stopped up with tears and misery while her heart died a slow, painful, agonizing death in her chest.

  “Why would you say that? You’re no
t stupid at all.”

  “You’re leaving!” She wailed, finally spitting the acrid words out. It didn’t matter. They still burned inside of her just as badly. “You’re leaving! I don’t know what the point of any of this is. You can sit there and say all the nice things about me in the world that you want, but you’re leaving and I’m so stupid because I- I thought- that- you know I love you. You know that this time, Ross, and you’re breaking my heart all over. I’m so dumb. This is fucking prom all over again!”

  She tried to twist away, to grab for the door handle so she could let herself out and run, stumble, blindly into the night. She didn’t know where she was going to go, she just had to get away from the car. Away from him. She was going to have to burn Bertha and she hated Ross for it. Hated that she’d always see him sitting right there in the front seat, breaking her heart after she’d given it to him all over again.

  “Alix!” Ross’s hand curled around her bicep before she made the door. He jerked her back towards him so that she couldn’t escape. His arms descended around her, warm and solid. She inhaled sharply in panic. She didn’t want to smell him. To smell his deep, spicy scent that she knew so well. She didn’t want him to touch her, to break any more of her. She was already shattered. “Stop! You’re not hearing me.”

  “I’m hearing you just fine,” she snapped. She planted her palm against his broad chest and tried to shove him away. It was like a fly trying to fight off a giant. All she got was the burn of his chest seeping into her palm and up her arm and right into her tender, aching heart.

  “No,” he said roughly, right into her ear. “You’re not. You’re not hearing me. The thing is, I don’t want to do any of that without you. I thought you might think that staying in a castle in Ireland was neat. That you might want to see some of the world too. That maybe, you might just think that studying fashion and design or art, or whatever you want to do in Paris or somewhere in Spain or Italy or just- something, somewhere, might actually be fun.”

  His words struck her dumb. Completely speechless. She finally stopped struggling and just stared up at Ross, her mouth gaping open.

  “Or if not, if you don’t want to do any of that, I’ll give the castle to my parents and we can go wherever. I’m just hoping you’ll give me a shot. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. We’ll try. If you want. Because I want to. I want to try with every fiber of me being. I want to date you. I want to go on adventures with you. I’ve never dated anyone. Not dated, dated. I want you to be my first. I want it to work out. I want you to be my last.”

  “How can you say that? It’s only been, like one day?”

  Ross shook his head. “Nope. I’ve known you for twenty-six years. I feel like I was asleep for a long time and then I finally woke up and got my shit together and I looked at you and realized that it’s always been you. We were just waiting, both of us, for the right time. I might have been waiting for you to grow up, but I know that I wasn’t anywhere near that mark myself. We’re here now and I know. I know now. I’m sure. You have this huge heart. This beautiful heart. Thinking about anyone else being with you, getting your heart, getting all of you or any of you, makes me want to go crazy.”

  Alix gulped. She could barely even process what was happening. Was it real? Was she going to wake up and realize that she was just dreaming. That this whole day had been another one of her fantasies in which all her hopes and dreams finally came true? Not just all of them, but design? It was what she’d always wanted. Truly. Deeply. She’d never even hoped she’d have the freedom to travel and see the world. All as one package? It was pretty hard to believe.

  “I hope that you’re going to say yes, or at least that you’ll consider it, because right now your face looks a little like when your parents walked into the kitchen to find their oven a smoking wreck and me standing there buck ass naked.”

  “My mom saw your junk,” Alix giggled.

  “That shit is not funny.”

  “No.” She sobered up. She ran her hand over Ross’s jawline, and he curled his face into it. “No, it’s not funny at all.”

  The car was silent for a minute until they both burst out laughing. She laughed. She laughed until her belly ached and her chest felt like it was going to collapse and there were tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.

  “That was really bad,” she gulped between giggles.

  “It was. I doubt I’ll be able to look your parents in the eye again.”

  “Maybe- maybe if you bribed them with a castle too.”

  Ross threw back his head and laughed. “Whatever it takes. They want a castle too? You got it. I mean it, Alix, if you’ll have me, it’s you and me. I’ll try until we either work or until it’s so glaringly obvious that we don’t. I just have one stipulation.”

  “What’s that?”

  “No more cakes. No more baking. Ever.”

  She punched him lightly in the upper arm and he pretended to wince. “Jeez. Thanks for the faith in me. We could always take cooking lessons. Together.”

  “I don’t think it’s safe,” Ross shuddered.

  She punched again but this time he caught her hand and brought it to his lips. He grazed them hotly over her knuckles and she was the one who shuddered back. She looked up at him and he looked down at her and there was no mistaking the glow of emotion suffusing his whole face.

  “I have something to ask you,” she breathed. He kept right on staring at her the way she’d always wanted to see him look at her. Like she was his entire world.

  She knew what he meant. About something just clicking, finally. All it took was a second for it to all come together. She’d felt the same way the night on the water tower, when she realized what she’d done to him by asking him what she had before prom. She’d spent years punishing him when he was just trying to save her from herself. She wasn’t ready then and she made him pay. She’d never understood until that moment, when she’d grown up all at once and got her head on straight and realized how childish and silly she’d been.

  So, yes. She believed him. She believed in his sincerity. It only took a minute to open your eyes, and Ross had been through a lot in the past two years. Evelyn’s cancer was a wake-up call for all of them. They didn’t have forever. They might not even have tomorrow.

  “What is it?” He caressed her cheek gently, but even that sweet gesture sent a hot storm of lust swelling inside of her.

  “I- what- I- asked you four years ago if you would take my virginity in the back seat of your car.” She dug in the pocket of her jeans and produced one of the condoms Ross had stolen from her brother and left on her nightstand.

  While he was getting dressed in their bathroom, back in the same clothes he’d arrived in what felt like a century ago, and she was busy changing her smoky tank into a clean, fresh, black tank with the head of a lama on it and a fresh pair of her usual favorite- dark skinny jeans, she’d spotted the condoms and grabbed them. It never hurt to be prepared.

  Unless she was trying to prepare a cake.

  “I remember.” Ross’s lips curled at the edges. “I promise you, I’ll never forget.”

  “Well…” she hesitated. He waited, his face calm and placid. The face that she loved so much. She’d watch those features mature and change over the years. She wanted the rest of her life. She wanted to watch those same features change and mature and age. It would be the greatest gift, and honor, anyone could ever entrust her with. “I was wondering if- if you still wanted to. I mean, in the back seat of my car. Since it’s pretty spacious and we can look out and see the stars. Or at least, the water tower. I thought it would be pretty romantic if-”

  “Alix!” Ross gripped her shoulders and held her at arm’s length so he could look at her. Really look at her. “What are you talking about?”

  She knew she was blushing. Furiously. That her face was probably beet red and the dark likely did nothing to hide it. “I- I did- I did do some experimenting at college. It was never right. I never found- I mean- I never went- I n
ever did that. With anyone. I just didn’t want to. I know that probably makes me the oldest virgin on the planet and I swear I wasn’t lost or pining for you, I really, really wasn’t. I just- my classes were hard, and I was busy and when I wasn’t in school, I was working and I’ve never liked parties, and all the guys I ever met were just- just- not right.”

  Ross’s brow arched. “I doubt that makes you the oldest virgin on the planet.”

  “I get if you don’t want to. I- I mean, it’s not everyone’s thing… I get if you don’t even want to be with me now because it’s weird and you probably think I’m-”

  “Incredible? Gorgeous? Selfless? Kind? Compassionate? Smart as hell? Funny? Witty? Talented? Yeah all of those things. You’re right, you are weird. You are strange, Alix, and that’s what I’ve always loved about you. You’ve never been afraid to be exactly who you are. You’ve never been afraid to go after what you want, even if it means getting humiliated and hating me for four years.”

  “I could never hate you. Ever.”

  “I could never hate you either. In fact, I feel the exact opposite.”

  She gripped him, even though she knew she probably looked like a lovesick, lost puppy. She imagined saying it out loud and Ross telling her that’s exactly what she was, but he’d always liked strays.

  “I brought a blanket. For the back. I- and- and I snuck my pillow out too. Er- I- and I have these.” She brought out the other condom, holding them both between her fingers. “You know. In case- well- maybe-”

  “Yes.” Ross didn’t wait for her to go on. He took her face in his hands and punished her lips, kissing her furiously, devouring her, leaving absolutely no doubt in her mind that he meant it. What he said. All of it. Each and every word.

  He broke apart when they were both breathless, when her lips were actually sore from kissing him.

  “You’re sure this is what you want? Here? In your epically huge back seat that may or may not have been used for nefarious purposes by previous owners? I could take you to a hotel. A fancy one. Order flowers. Roses for the bath. Champagne. Chocolates. Exotic dancers. Whatever you want.”