Lycan

by Girl, Breukelen

  “But I’m okay Bo. So thank you for coming for me. For being here now.”

  Bodil shakes her head from side to side. “You don’t get it, we couldn’t bring on your shape shift. We couldn’t force you into tribal form. Three alphas and we couldn’t heal you we couldn’t do anything.”

  I frown deeply. “So, how’d I get here there?” I ask her as she recomposes herself with a breath. The gym is in the Bronx, where am I now? I live in the borough of Brooklyn. Are we not in Brooklyn? I can almost see fragments of the attack, but they’re not quite forming yet.

  “You owe you’re almost brother-in law a big thanks.”

  “Thane Cavello?” I ask frowning. “I thought both my brother and his boyfriend were still in Canada.”

  “They were when the attack happened. They’ve since both come down to be with you. Like I said, it looked bad Booker, really bad. We had to notify them and I asked Hooper if he wanted me to tell your mother,”

  “Oh Jesus.” I mutter softly. “You didn’t did you? The shock would just about kill her on the spot.”

  “No, Hooper convinced me not to, that if anything was to happen to you, it would be by his instruction alone.”

  I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I must remember to thank my brother for standing up to Bodil on this matter. Our mother has already gone through enough with her two boys being turned into lycans. We tried to keep our problems from her where possible, especially since Hooper and I had a falling out recently, on top of my unhappiness with him dating Thane, Cavello, Bodil’s younger sister’s half brother.

  “Phelan Cavello. He put you into a, well, let’s just call it a wolf coma.” Bodil says back at me. Phelan, Thane’s younger brother and twin to Bodil’s sister Bg. “He can heal, he has abilities, that I have not seen before. You’re at his place in the Bronx. We’ve all been camping out here for the past five days, taking turns with you.”

  “Taking turns?” I ask curiously.

  “Phelan, shape shifted you and put you in a coma in your animal form. Aksel, Nick and I kept you in your shifted form for the first seventy-two hours, we gave you our power for your wolf to heal. I’ve never done that like this before. Wasn’t even sure it would work.” She says back at me with a little smile. “So you really ought to thank Phelan, he stepped up when he could’ve kept his ability hidden from us, we’d have been none the wiser.”

  “What about Bg?” I ask her and watch Bodil frown back at me.

  “What about Bg?”

  “Oh I just meant,” I cough and sit up a little bit more in the bed. “Does she have the same abilities as her twin brother?” I can see the surprise filter through on Bodil’s face. She might not have had enough time to think of her little sisters connection to Phelan yet and what that might mean in terms of her powers.

  “I don’t know.”

  “You haven’t spoken to her lately?” I ask curiously. I want to know if Bg knows about my attack, if she too dropped everything and came running to me like her sister did, or if we really are done and over.

  “No, there was no need to, we had the strongest werewolves from our pack on hand, here. The alphas were here and Phelan doing his thing. It never occurred to me, that they’re twins and that maybe the share the same thing and could’ve done twice as much healing in half as much time. God I am stupid!” Bodil says smacking the palm of her hand into her forehead.

  I nod my head as I realize, my secret love, Bg Sommers, has truly forsaken me. Bodil would’ve told her truthfully how bad the situation with me was, and Bg didn’t come. She really didn’t come. She is really done with me. As if my lessons from New Orleans hadn’t sunk in with me. She has chosen her wolf, her mate, her alpha and it is not me.

  She kept telling me that, but I didn’t want to hear it. I just thought I had more fight left in me for her, for us, and then…crunching footsteps, pressure pushing me down, inwards, and pain exploding over my body. Addison Harrington’s face hovering over me with those words. I shake my head clear and look back at Bodil and hope she hasn’t noticed me space out.

  “No you’re not Bo, you’re one of the smartest werewolves I know. You don’t get to do your pack job without smarts.”

  “Yeah, well,” Bodil says letting go of my hand and standing up beside the bed. “You’re the best fighting wolf we have in the Breueklen werewolf pack. The most powerful lycan I know in New York City and someone or something cut you down like you were paper. Like none of that ability mattered for anything.” Bodil says getting a little more aggressive in tone. “So forgive me when I ask this but,” She pauses and I hold her eye contact. “Who did this to you?”

  I shake my head again. “Don’t.” I state simply.

  “Don’t?” She practically yells back at me. “Booker, I need to know who could do such a thing to you? How they did it? That they’re not going to do it again, that this isn’t some sort of pack threat. Because you know as far as systematic attacks go,” Bodil says her brain ticking away quickly. I can practically see her strategy forming. “Taking out our strongest, most dominant wolves first, is pretty fucking smart.”

  “There’s no pack threat here.” I reply calmly, I have to quash that thought quickly before she can get really worked up about it. There isn’t anything Bodil wouldn’t do for the Breukelen pack. I know her well enough to know that.

  She tilts her head to the side, and tries again “Who did this to you?, You’re safe here, no one but the hierarchy and Thane and Hooper know where you are. No one would know to look for you here.”

  “Bodil, I can fight my own battles.”

  Her eyes narrow on me. “You know.” She accuses me softly.

  “I didn’t lie to you Bo, I just, was a bit hazy about it all, but it’s come back to me.” I say to her.

  “And?”

  “And it’s not pack related Bo.”

  “Why would you think that would stop me from protecting my friends?” She says back at me. “Who did this to you Booker?”

  Addison Harrington, the enforcer for the Manhattan Maen werewolf pack, your counter part Bodil. You’re little sister, Bg, the wolf I’m in love who just married my former friend. Her bodyguard Addison was just doing his job. I even tried to stop her of course, it was too late. but I crashed your sister’s honeymoon, to declare my love for her anyway, which you didn’t even know about, because we dated in secret over seventeen years ago, when Bg and I first met after I was turned. I never got over her. But Addison’s the one who tried to rip out my throat. Actually, now that I think about it, I think he held back, just wanted to give me a good scare. I mean that was just a warning right, because he left me to die, but I lived. So you see, it’s not about packs, it’s personal. About what’s his, what’s his alphas and my place back here, not there. Not with her. That’s the werewolf who tried to kill me. Not without good reason.

  “Bodil,” I say focusing back on the present and firmly back at her, using her full name “You’re my best friend, and I would never put you in harms way or ask you to go into battle on my behalf, you know that.”

  “I’m volunteering.” Bodil shoots me down.

  “Bodil,” I try again. “It’s handled.”

  I’m not sure that isn’t a lie, but whatever it is, it’s between me and Addison and I’m not dragging Bodil into this whole sordid mess. Bg still has enough decency about her to not let anyone beyond herself, her pack mate Paris, Addison and I to know what happened in New Orleans. Otherwise, Bodil would’ve said something by now, especially when I mentioned Bg’s name. Besides I don’t think I could handle how Bodil would think of me if she were to find out about what I’ve been holding back from her for the past seventeen years.

  Bodil lets out an exasperated sigh back at me. “We’re not done here, but I should let your brother and the others know you’re awake.” She says bending down to plant a kiss on my forehead.

  3

  A blonde haired male, with hair down to his shoulders, in a blue jacket and grey three quarter sh
orts, and matching blue sneakers, walks into the room. He too lets out a sigh that sounds like relief to me. It occurs to me that I must’ve really got them all my friends shaken up. These werewolves do not rattle easily. It makes me think my circumstances are not to be taken lightly, and that perhaps Addison Harrington intended to kill me, not warn me away from what is his. Shit. What have I started here?

  “I’m glad to see you like this.” Boden Jennings says smiling down at me as he bends down to give me a quick hug and pat on the back.

  “Thanks man,” I say as we release and he straightens up, standing beside the bed looking down at me.

  “Would it do me any good to ask what the hell happened?” Boden asks slowly backing up to the bedroom window ledge and leaning back against it, looking at me.

  “None, what-so-ever, it’s all hazy in there.” I say tapping the side of my head. Which is not exactly untrue.

  Boden nods his sandy blonde head and holds my gaze. “Well, you don’t owe me an explanation, I mean we covered you for your time off work, got you hidden away here, and looked after safely,” And at the mention of work, I have a new thought. And my heart starts pounding heard when I think of who I might have left behind, without ever… “but I think you need to sort out your situation with,” my attention is back in the conversation and I know exactly where Boden is going with this. I hold up a hand.

  “There’s nothing to sort out. We’re just friends.”

  Boden’s eyebrows raise. “Nothing to sort out? Really?” I can feel my face hardening before my frown sets in. “I dunno, seems like there’s some chemistry between you two.” He says sweeping his hand out wide. “Why do you think we tease the hell out of you man? Call her your girlfriend, because you know, you need a girlfriend and that hot little number,”

  “Boden watch it.”

  “You should ask her to be your girlfriend.”

  I sigh and relax a little. “My friends,” I mutter softly “I figured you guys didn’t like her, that was why all the teasing.”

  Boden’s eyes widen. “Man, you are bad at this. It means we like her, we like you two together because you’re so damn awkward and dancing around each other.” They do like to give me hell over my interactions with, the woman who technically is my boss at the Wonderland strip club. Boden chuckles lightly. “She deserves an explanation at the least Booker. I was the one who had to see her and tell her about what had happened to you.”

  “Trinity is not my next of kin.”

  “I figured you two were close, you’ve probably hit it one time or another and despite our teasing efforts, you would probably want her to know if anything happened to you.” Boden says at me letting his words hang in the air between us.

  I sigh heavily. “We have not hit it as you put it.”

  “I was all prepared to give her some made up, run around bullshit about you and the like and you know what happened?”

  “What?”

  “She saw straight through me, before I’d barely opened my mouth. She grilled me until I told her what had really happened. She’s tough man, you wouldn’t know it to look at her. But damn!” Boden goes on.

  “Oh no.” I mutter and cover my face with my hands. “You didn’t Boden, tell me you didn’t? “ I say under my hands before dropping them again and looking at her. “Trinity has no idea I’m a lycan.”

  He shrugs his shoulders. “I told her what I could about you without lying. I said it was bad, and that I would keep her updated on how you were. She wanted to know where you were, she wanted to see you. I didn’t tell her of course.”

  “Of course.” I repeat after him.

  “Maybe now is a time to re-evaluate things, you’ve been given a chance here Booker, a third one by all accounts. As wolves we’re driven with this need to find our mate, it’s like a constant urge, impulse, heartbeat. Everywhere we look, even as ware’s’, we’re looking for our mate, our pack mate. Maybe were you’ve been looking hasn’t been the right place.”

  My eyes harden on him. Is he saying what I think he’s saying? How the hell would Boden Jennings know about me and Bg Sommers? He couldn’t possibly. Nobody does. I shake my head and think of Trinity, She’s come close to breaking my calm a few times, without even trying. I’m not sure she’s even aware of it.

  “She’s not a wolf, she’s a human.” I say back at him wondering what his comeback will be for that.

  Boden simply shrugs his shoulders and says “So? Nobody said your pack mate had to be a wolf.”

  At the sound of his words, a light bulb goes off in my head and a rush of emotions runs through me as my heart beats faster and faster. Oh god, what have I done? Why had that thought never occurred to me before. And if it had, why hadn’t I asked the pack for approval for Trinity to be my pack mate? Why wouldn’t I have tried this with her. I mean, he is right, there is a chemistry between us.

  “There’s actually no pack law on that.” Boden continues on, unaware of my suddenly panicked state. My mind is racing to make the connections as I make a realization that has plagued me for the past seventeen years of my lycan life. I’ve been looking for love, in all the wrong places, with the wrong woman. I’ve been so focused on Bg Sommers because she’s a werewolf, because she was my first romantic wolf encounter and a memorably sweet one at that. She was perfect. And I was a prick and I’ve used my misplaced guilt over the way I handled our relationship secret to keep me at a distance from every other woman I encountered, including, Trinity Montez.

  My eyes go wide as I look back up at Boden. “And this,” He sighs and pauses.

  “What?” I ask him desperately. “What did she say?”

  “It’s not what she said man, it’s the silence and what she didn’t say.” I feel dread creep over me at his words. I’m losing her. Only when I say it in my mind do I realize that I’ve been losing her slowly for the fast few years, and now? Is this enough to tip her, to break her will to hold out for me. “Look you know I’m no expert on women,”

  “I’ll take the advice anyway, after all you managed to sort your shit out and yours was,” I think about the right word to describe his ménage-a-trios, “complicated.”

  “I just think, you need to focus on getting yourself better, and that means, for real, looking after yourself, like you haven’t been. You’re entitled to a life Booker, within the pack and with a pack mate. Nobody said being a wolf would be easy.” Boden smirks as he exits the bedroom completely happy with himself. “You want me to ring her and say you’re up and about?” He says sticking his head back in the bedroom.

  “Uh, no. Leave it to me.” I reply as he nods his head and disappears again. Leaving me in a whirl of uncertainty and panicked emotions, surprised revelations and pulsating blood.

  It’s suddenly like the world actually makes sense to me. Seventeen years of being an angry lycan, never really satisfied with this life, with my sexual encounters. With comparing or my sexual conquests to the first werewolf who did satisfy my tribal urges, on many levels, but not understanding, why we couldn’t align ourselves again. Why she moved on and I couldn’t. Because she found her mate, and she knew it, when she met Paris. I’ve been so damn wrapped up in my anger, and loneliness, I’ve just been self-sabotaging myself. No wonder Bg’s wants nothing to do with me.

  4

  So it turns out, after you’ve been on death’s door, napping, you can still go on and get about with your life. Once you’re friends have taken you at your word that you’re okay and don’t need them to look over you anymore.

  “You can send that pack of werewolves packing, but I’m staying.” Hooper says after I’ve seen the last of the Breukelen wolves out the front door, a day after my awakening. “At least, I’ll hang around for a week or so, make sure you don’t relapse.” He says trying for casual as Thane chuckles away in the kitchen, making something that smells delicious. My nostrils flare and my stomach rumbles.