Atlas (Apocalyptic Cries Book 1)

by Adalie Jordin

  His old unit.

  Cade’s a sexy beast in uniform.

  I stare a bit longer at his handsome features, then quickly flip through the rest of the stack. There are a few images of him and probably his parents, one of a gorgeous Australian Shepherd happily lounging by a stream, and several pictures of random faces I couldn’t begin to recognize.

  I nearly choke on air as the last photo in the pile is revealed. It’s worn, the edges soft from being touched often, and my heart beats faster as I stare into the eyes of a man I miss so gods damn much.

  Daddy.

  Cade and Dad are shaking hands. Dad looks proud in the picture, as he and Cade hold up an achievement award in the space between them. The award is for passing training and names Cade an official member of the U.S. Secret Service.

  I have the insane urge to stuff the thing in my pocket and keep it.

  I don’t have any pictures of dad that are printed. Tangible.

  But I won’t do that. I’m only a thief in certain situations, and Cade has obviously handled this paper often, staring down at the scene captured in time. I won’t rob him of that experience later on simply because I miss my dad.

  Placing everything back where I found it, I’m just brushing my knees off when I hear the distinct sound of plastic crackling in the other room. Darting out of the closet, I lean back against the door, trying to slow my anxious breaths.

  I can see Cade entering the other room through the crack where the bedroom door meets the frame. He’s stares at my water bottle warning system like it’s greatly offended him, before sweeping his gaze across the room, looking for me.

  “Saedie?” He calls.

  I’m tempted to not move - to hide behind the door another few beats and compose myself. But that would make him more suspicious, and I’m not a coward.

  “Hey! Sorry, I got nosy and wanted to see what kind of bed they gave you.” I chirp, stepping into his line of sight.

  He sets his food haul down on the counter and strides across the room to me. It only takes three steps of his giant feet to bring him a hair’s breadth away. He smells clean, like soap but also his distinctive cedar and smoke somehow. I’d thought that was maybe his body wash before, or deodorant, but now I’m guessing it’s all him.

  He doesn’t look suspicious of my explanation and I feel some of the tension I’m holding ease out on my next breath.

  “What did you scrounge up?” I hitch my chin in the direction of the food.

  Cade glances over my shoulder into the bedroom before looking down at me once more.

  Step away from the door, Saedie.

  Smiling, I bounce around him, going to investigate our meal. He’s managed to find some bread, veggie sandwich meat, and two small potato crisp bags for dinner, while the rest looks to be supplies for later. Energy bars, canned food and the like.

  His tree-trunk arms carried a fuck-ton of food.

  I feel, rather than hear, Cade turn around to face me as I’m digging through the goodies.

  “Half of that’s for you.” He says finally. “To take back to the observatory.”

  Surprised, I offer him a small, but grateful smile.

  “Thank you, Cade. I’m not one to turn down food.”

  A smirk ticks up one side of his gorgeous lips. “I know.”

  Coming over, he takes the items he intends to keep and starts putting them away in the limited cabinet space.

  We work alongside each other for a few minutes in silence, before he leans back against the counter, gaze pinpointed on my face.

  “Did you find what you were looking for?”

  My cheeks flame, and I curse the immediate tell. “I’m sorry, Cade!” I start, reaching out to place a hand on his forearm. “I just wanted to learn more about you. I didn’t take anything, I swear.”

  He huffs, sweet breath blowing out across my face and ruffling a few curly strands of hair that are always fluttering about.

  “I’m not upset, Saedie. But I do wish you’d have just asked whatever it is you wanted to know, rather than rifling through my things.” He’s not mad, exactly. But his deep voice does sound a bit hurt.

  Chagrined, I look down at the floor, muttering another apology to him.

  “So….” He prompts. “Did you?”

  Thinking back to his initial question about finding what I was looking for, I nod. “Yeah. I came across the pictures in your closet. There was one….”

  “With Steven, right?”

  My hazel eyes dart to his. “That’s the one.” It doesn’t even occur to me to ask about the girl, she’s already a distant thought.

  Like he can read the sheer want on my face, he offers, “You can have it.” Just like that. “Best not take it to the observatory, have something linking me to him in your possession, but it’s yours. Feel free to look at it anytime.”

  The beginnings of tears cause my nose to burn and my vision goes hazy as I stare up at him. This man. He sees something I want, and he gives it to me, no questions asked. No hesitation.

  Desire stirs in my belly as neither of us moves. But will he give me that?

  Cade searches my face, for what I don’t know, before placing one giant hand on my hip. Fire shoots across my lower back and up my spine as I stand up straighter, waiting with baited breath to see where this will go.

  Tugging me closer, he pulls me lightly against his front, pulling his other arm from under my hand, his fingers tangle ever so slightly through my hair as he lets them rest against the back of my head. His hand is so large it spans my entire skull and, as odd as it sounds, I find I like that a bit too much.

  Needing to do something, anything, to lift the stupor I’ve fallen into I reach up and fist my hands in the front of his button up. I can feel the hardness of his abs through the fabric, and I’m seconds away from undoing a few buttons to take a peek at what lays beneath. It’s a nearly irresistible urge.

  Cade calls my name softly, drawing my attention, and I once again find myself drowning in him. In his jade green eyes and the way they’re shining down on me with so many unnamed emotions it looks like he’s waging a battle within himself.

  One side must lose.

  Bending down to my level, he steals the last of my breath away as he gently presses his lips to mine. The touch is featherlight but sends shivers throughout my entire body, heating me up from the inside out. Goosebumps cover my flesh, and I can feel all the tiny hairs along my arms and neck standing at attention.

  It’s electrifying.

  His kiss is so unlike what I experienced with Luca. Not demanding, not fierce, or so intense I want to scream and beg for more. Instead, it holds a sweetness to it that I want to capture and keep. Stow away in my memory bank somewhere where only happy moments live.

  If no one ever kisses me this carefully, this… blissfully again, I don’t think I would mind one bit. I’ll stay right where I am, thank you.

  I try to open my mouth to him, to press our lips more firmly together. I want more of him. But instead of giving in, Cade pulls back, breaking the kiss and I lick my lips, trying to taste him there. His eyes track my tongue as it darts back into my mouth and I can feel the wanton heat radiating from him, but still, he doesn’t kiss me again. I nearly moan in frustration, catching myself just in time.

  I am not a whiny ass.

  I’m breathing heavily, and for the life of me, I have no idea why. We didn’t get hot and heavy, there was no feeling up to be found, and yet… here we are. I need to get myself under control.

  “I think it’s time to turn in for the night, Sunshine.” He says quietly, and I can’t say I disagree. That was…. I don’t even know what that was, but if I stay I know I won’t be able to keep my hands to myself, and he clearly has some reservations, so I’ll respect his decision.

  Stepping back out of his embrace, I nod to let him know I understand — even if really, I don’t understand what’s happening between us at all. I can’t find my voice to tell him goodnight, so I offer him a small smile
before turning to head for the door. Grabbing the food he’d brought for me, I take my leave.

  CHAPTER 15

  Meandering about the leaf-strewn walkways of The Compound’s main commons, I pull my thick cardigan tighter around my shoulders.

  It’s been relatively calm here the last few days. I haven’t been flitting about, trying to come up with ways to take down Atlas, and I’ve enjoyed the peace. It’s like my kiss with Cade opened a window into a time-warp, or alternate reality, where I don’t need to worry as much about the world pressing in on me.

  I know it can’t last, so I’m holding on to every second of it I can get.

  I’m on my way to see Jer for a bit before I make my med rounds for the day. If Nurse Nance tries to lie and say he’s not welcoming visitors again, I’m liable to let my current passive mood fly shit faced to the wind and punch her in her fecking beak-like nose.

  With comical thoughts of Nurse Nance as a bird pecking its way about the medical supplies floating around in my head, I’m completely unprepared for the scene awaiting me when I arrive. My content mood evaporates like water in the desert.

  Nance is nowhere to be seen, but The Incubator — my mother — is standing over Jeremy’s bed with a baby, all bundled up in warm clothing, resting in her arms. I can only assume this is my little sister — she’d be about three months now, at my best guess.

  The bitch’s head jerks up as I enter the room, my steps grinding to a halt. Jeremy’s sound asleep, his skin a sallow color I don’t like, and he isn’t stirring. Maybe he was up late playing video games again….

  I flick my hard gaze back up to the intruder - because that’s what she is in this moment, an interloper preventing me from spending time with Jer. “Prudence.”

  She flinches at her name, like she expected I’d call her ‘mom’ after all of her fucked up antics.

  Her ass basically begged me not to ever again in her letter, so why the feigned surprise?

  “Saedie.” She bites back, adjusting her stance to block my view of the baby’s face and I can’t help the snide chuckle that bursts forth.

  Ignoring the baby, even though I’m dying to see her - know her - I stare down the woman who raised me.

  “I’m surprised to see you here, Prudence. Last I heard you didn’t come around much, other than to fuck with my visits.”

  “Language!” She barks, and this time I full on belly laugh.

  The gall of this woman!

  “Like you have any right to correct me. We’re not family any longer, after all.” I remind her. It was her choice, not mine, but I’m the only one who seems to feel pain from it, of the two of us.

  Anger is the most prevalent emotion resting in the pit of my stomach presently though. And, of course, betrayal.

  “Why are you here?” Direct and to the point. I’m not playing around.

  She looks down at Jer where he’s resting, and I catch the smallest hint of concern as she takes in his jaundiced appearance. Then it’s gone and her eyes are spitting fire at me once again. “I’m here for my own reasons, they don’t concern you. You should leave.”

  “I have more right to be here than you, Prudence. I at least care about people beyond myself enough to be present when they need me.”

  My snark is pissing her off, and I just don’t have it in me to care. Finally stepping away from the entry, I saunter across the room to the opposite side of Jeremy’s bed. This close the woman who raised me, I can see teeny-tiny fingers peeking out of the overly-fluffy coat she has the baby dressed in. The little one has to be burning up, but I hold my tongue as she hasn’t made a peep.

  Prudence doesn’t have time to reply before Nurse Nance comes clomping into the room, nose raised high at seeing me here. Instead of addressing me, she looks right past me to The Incubator.

  “Mrs. Nyler, we can perform Ainsley’s exam through here, if you please.”

  Ignoring the sugary sweetness to the nurse’s tone, that’s clearly her buttering up to The Incubator, I’m fucking flabbergasted at what she just said.

  “What the fuck?!”

  Not realizing I’d blurted the words aloud until they both turn to stare at me, I try and fight the instinct to blush. I’m pissed, not embarrassed.

  “Mrs. Nyler!?” I demand. “Since when!”

  “Such insolence.” Nance huffs, visibly appalled at my attitude.

  Mother has the decency to look uncomfortable as she finally makes eye contact with me, “Yesterday.” I hadn’t expected her to answer.

  “What about Dad?! What about Jeremy and… and… Ainsley?” I think that’s the name Nurse Nance said.

  “Ainsley was never your father’s. And Jeremy will learn to adjust, or he won’t. He doesn’t have a choice either way.”

  My voice rises, as does my concern for Jer as he doesn’t stir even a little at my shouted words. “That’s bullshit!!” I rant, not registering for a moment what she said about the baby. When it hits, I stagger back. “Did you just say she isn’t Dad’s child?”

  The baby in question starts to fuss at all the commotion, letting out a wail. Still, Jeremy is unmoving. I crack.

  “Fuck that, I don’t even care. What the hell is wrong with Jeremy!?” I point to his complexion, at the lack of response to our conversation.

  “He’s had a turn with his insulin.” Nurse Nance chimes in. “We believe some of it may have been tainted, or too warm, by the time it arrived.” She says it with derision, like she’s straight up blaming me. She and Nyler stole the claim for bringing such hard to come by meds into The Compound, and yet she has the gall to be so callous in front of an audience? Oh, how the petty have fallen. She’s in true form today.

  “So, what… he needs more?” Please let Jeremy be okay! I can’t lose anyone else.

  “No. We have certain… individuals … who have come up with a way to fix the issue. It’s just taking time. Jeremy will be fine in a few days. Until he’s recovered,” her haughty voice continues, “you’ll need to refrain from visiting. We wouldn’t want your, shall we call it temper? To hinder his progress.”

  “Wha — you can’t, you won’t keep me from my little brother!”

  “She can, on my authority as his mother and legal guardian.” The Incubator interrupts, any softness that had leaked out long gone now. Ainsley’s screaming our ears off, but Mother — no, Prudence — does nothing to soothe the babe. “You should leave. Now.”

  I’m. Done. This woman has no interest in anyone other than herself. Right then and there I squash any hopes of reconnection with my ‘mother’ — ever. She’s killed that meager kernel with her persistent selfishness, lack of love, and constant absence in my life.

  “You have no authority over me, Prudence Walton.”

  Eat shit, bitch. I’m not calling you by his name. Screw that.

  A loud gasp sounds from my right, but I hold up my hand for the dumbass nurse to bite her tongue. I’m in a mood to cut it out if she so much as utters a peep.

  When did I get so blood thirsty? … Oh. Right now.

  “If you think you can keep me from Jeremy, you better listen up, because I will not repeat myself.” I have Prudence’s undivided attention, for once in my life. “That little boy right there is the only thing keeping me from punching you in your fucking ugly mug right now. Test me, and see how quickly you fall.”

  “Now, listen here, girl!” Nurse Nance jumps in, stepping between us, trying to block The Incubator from my sight. My hand reflexively heads towards my knife where it’s stashed in a holster at the small of my back, hidden from view, but I stall my movements. I’m not that person. “Mrs. Nyler has the backing of the Commander, and all of The Compound. Including me. If you go against her wishes, it won’t just be Mrs. Nyler,” she emphasizes the moniker, “making you face the consequences. This is my infirmary, and you are no longer welcome here as anything other than a medical aid. If I see you in the visitor’s section, or anywhere near Jeremy, I’ll report you to Commander Nyler myself.”

 
It’s the most I’ve heard the old bat say, and for a moment, I’m shocked into silence. It doesn’t last long.

  “We’ll see.”

  That’s all I give them. Two words full of promise and hate, but said with the utmost calm.

  I turn and leave the same way I came in, steps unhurried to the point of being slow. I send a silent ‘I love you” to my sick little brother, hoping he can somehow feel my words.

  This will not be the last time I see him.

  CHAPTER 16

  Feeling the need to do something, I take half an hour to regroup, then head over to Cade’s. I don’t have rounds until tomorrow, so I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

  His door swings open immediately, gentle smile gracing his lips when he sees it’s me.

  “Come in.”

  I waste no time in stepping into the room, then turn and throw myself at the big man, wrapping my arms as far around his torso as they’ll go. The tips of my fingers don’t even brush each other.

  He lets out an ‘omph’ on impact, clearly surprised by my action, but within moments I’m encircled in his warm embrace. I take a deep breath of his manly scent, holding it in my lungs for a few beats before exhaling.

  “Thank you, Cade.”

  “For the hug?” He wants to know.

  “Yes. And for being such a decent human being.” I tilt my head back to meet his gaze. He’s staring down at me with a happy gleam in his eyes, and I can’t help but wish I’m the one that put it there.

  “Something happen today?”

  “You could say that, yeah, but I honestly don’t want to talk about it right now.” Dropping my chin once more, I lean even further into his hug.

  “I’ll never force you to tell me something you don’t want to, Sunshine.”

  I don’t know when he picked up the nickname for me, but I enjoy it. A lot.

  “I know.”

  Pulling back from his arms, I step further into the living room, glancing around at the papers strewn about on the floor, coffee table and any other available surface. “Looks like you’ve been doing some planning without me.”